so basically, the idea came to me, i wrote it, and here it is. i don't know if it's any good, but i suppose that's up to you. i do feel rather bad about hurting addison, because, frankly, nothing physically bad supposed to happen to her. because she's addison. oh well...
-insert generic disclaimer here-
Meredith is stuck covering the pit when the ambulance pulls up. She jumps at the chance for something interesting and runs to it. "What do we have?" she asks the EMT.
"Thirty-nine year old female in a car crash. Definite head trauma, broken spine, two broken ribs, from what we can tell" he replies as he turns to help the others with the gurney. "She's fading in and out of consciousness."
"Do we have I.D.?"
"Yeah, her name's-" the EMT replies, but is interrupted by a shocked Meredith.
"Addison."
"Right," the EMT says, "Montgomery."
Meredith starts to wheel the gurney into the ER. Nurses surround her. She grabs one of them. "Page Dr. Shepherd, Callie O'Malley and Dr. Bailey. Now!"
She looks at Addison lying helpless and hurt on the gurney and watches as she comes back into consciousness. Meredith sees her eyes widen and knows that she's starting to panic. "Addison," she says. "Don't try to talk. You were in a car crash, you're going to need surgery. But it'll be okay." The panicked look starts to leave her eyes. "It'll be okay," Meredith repeats. "Stay with me," she orders when she sees Addison starting to waver on unconscious. "Come on, Addison, stay with me."
"What have we- Addison?" Bailey asks as she reaches the moving gurney.
"Car crash."
"What hap- Addison?" Derek says.
"Car crash," Meredith explains again. "Her spine's broken and her head's a mess."
"Okay, she's going to need surgery," he tells everyone, slipping back into his professional mode.
"You sure you're okay to operate on her?" Dr. Bailey asks.
"Is anyone?" Derek retorts.
"No," Bailey concedes. "Okay, let's go. Grey, you scrubbing in?"
Meredith's about to reply yes when Addison grabs her hand. Meredith looks down and sees the panicked look again, mixed with pleading. "Dr. Bailey, do you think that I could just… well, scrub in, but just kind of be there and not do surgery? We do it all the time for c-sections."
"I suppose, but I don't see why you'd want to do it."
"It's just that… she's all alone, and surgery's scary, and, well, she doesn't really have anyone and I know that if I were her, I'd want someone there. And… it just… I just think she needs someone. I would."
"Good call, Dr. Grey. Page Karev."
Meredith does so, and then resumes holding Addison's hand. "It'll be okay, Addison. You're going to be fine."
"Meredith, you paged me?" Alex asks as they near the OR.
"I need you to do this surgery for me. I can't… she needs someone, and I… just do it, okay?"
For the first time, Alex looks at the patient on the gurney. "Addi- Dr. Montgomery?" he manages to choke out.
Bailey looks over at him. "You okay to do the surgery, Karev?"
"I-"
Bailey sighs in exasperation. "You're not. Page Yang, or O'Malley, or Stevens. I don't care who you page, but page someone. She needs surgery and she needs it now."
"Dr. Bailey, I-"
"You are not okay. You've worked with her for almost six months, you've become too attached and you're not operating on her. Page someone else, Dr. Karev, before I start to get annoyed." He pages Cristina as everyone but Bailey goes to scrub in. "Thank you, Dr. Karev. Now, you're not to do anything else. You're bound to be distracted. Sit outside and wait for an update or get food or sleep or something. Do not do anything medical. I don't want to have to deal with your screw ups because you're distracted. Are we clear?"
"Yes," he replies sulkily. She leaves and Cristina arrives.
"This had better be a damn good surgery, Karev. Because now Izzie's going to steal all my cardio cases, so this had better be one hell of a surgery."
He rolls his eyes. "It's Addi- Dr. Montgomery. She- I need you to do this because you're the least likely to screw up. Come on, Yang. Do it?"
Cristina groans. "You owe me. You owe me big time," she informs him as she goes to scrub in.
He spends the next agonizing minutes trying to figure out what to do. Wait outside the door? Go to the gallery? Get food? Catch up on sleep? He throws out the last two immediately, since he's not going to be able to do either until he knows that Addison's going to be okay. "Sorry," Callie says. "I was in surgery. What's going on?"
"It's Addison," he answers. "Car crash. I don't know anything else, but it's pretty bad."
"What? No, don't repeat that. Crap."
"Yeah."
"They should have paged someone else from ortho. I can't do this. I'm paging Dr. Winchell." She walks away and Alex is left alone to pace.
After about an hour Meredith comes out. "It's going okay," she tells him. "There haven't been any complications or anything." He sighs, and it's obvious just how much of a relief that news is. He sits down outside the door. Meredith looks at him, and sits down next to him. "What's up with you and her?" she asks.
"What? Nothing's up."
"There's something. I can tell. You should have seen your face when you saw it was her. You looked… like someone had punched you or something."
"I've been working with her a lot."
"That's not it though. It's more than that." Meredith studies his profile. "Holy crap. You love her."
He looks over at her sharply. "I don't love her."
"Fine. Maybe love's too strong a word. You strongly like her." He doesn't say anything. "Holy crap, you do. You like Addison."
"I don't- I don't know."
"You do! I know you do. What're you going to do?"
"Nothing. It's just a crush. She's hot," he shrugs.
"Alex, you're waiting outside of an OR for her to come out. You haven't gotten anything to eat, you haven't tried to get some sleep, I'll bet you haven't even left since she went in. That's not a crush, no matter what you say. That's something bigger."
"Whatever."
"No, not whatever. She's all alone, Alex. So alone that the person in the OR with her is the person who broke up her marriage. She's all alone and you could make her not alone and she deserves to be not alone. If you won't do it for you, do it for her."
He's quiet for a minute. "She's going to be okay?"
"If everything goes according to plan."
Alex sighs heavily. "Good."
0ooo0
He waits for hours, for Meredith to update him, for Shepherd to update him, for anyone to update him. After an agonizing wait, Derek walks out of the scrub room. "Dr. Shepherd," Alex accosts him. "How is she?"
"Have you been waiting there the entire time?"
"No. Yes. I don't know. How is she?"
Derek looks suspicious, but answers. "She's as well as can be expected. Her vitals are strong. If her recovery goes well, she'll still be able to walk. Worst case scenario, she," he looks away, "she'll be paralyzed from the waist down, but that's highly unlikely, and she should retain full brain function, so that's good. We'll know when she wakes up."
"Oh. Good."
"Dr. Karev, I'd like you to sit with her, if that's okay. Dr. Bailey said that you're not to do anything medical, so you could at least make yourself useful and tell me if her condition changes." Alex nods his consent. "Okay, I'm passing the torch to you, Karev. If her vitals so much as waver on low, page me. Take care of her." He nods again. "Meredith- Dr. Grey, I mean, is going to sit with you too. Dr. Bailey's orders."
Meredith and Alex follow the gurney in silence. "She's going to be okay, Alex," Meredith finally says.
"I know."
"Yeah. Me too."
0ooo0
They sit for hours, waiting to see if Addison wakes up. After awhile Meredith gets up to get some food and brings back a sandwich for Alex. "Here," she says, offering him the food. He doesn't take it. "Alex, a hunger strike's not going to make her wake up. It's just going to make you cranky when she does wake up. And notice I said "when" and not "if" because she's going to wake up and she's going to be fine. People like her don't get brain damage, and they don't get paralyzed. I know that that's scientifically disproved, but she's Addison. Nothing's going to happen to her. People like her they, like, have their own personal bubble of safety." He looks at her and raises an eyebrow. "Okay, so maybe it wasn't working at that moment. But she's got it and nothing's going to happen to her." As she finishes saying this, Addison eyes flutter open.
"Addison!" Alex exclaims and goes to the side of the bed. Meredith follows him.
"Hi, Addison," she says. "I know that this sounds weird, and you probably don't want to talk to me, but can you say something?"
Both Alex and Meredith hold their breath as Addison struggles to make her mouth form some word. "Alex?" she finally croaks.
He smiles. "Yeah. I'm here. Do you want me to stay?" She nods slightly and grimaces. "I won't leave then." She opens her mouth to speak again, but he cuts her off. "Don't say anything, okay? Just rest."
"So tired," she manages.
"Get some sleep," Meredith instructs her. She closes her eyes and does so. Neither Alex nor Meredith leave the room.
0ooo0
Meredith returns to check on Addison the next day before rounds and finds her awake. "Hi," Meredith greets her. "I'll, um… You probably don't want to talk to me, so I'll just, um, I'll just go."
"Meredith," Addison says quietly. "Thank you. For staying with me, I mean. It means a lot to me."
"Oh, I, um, it was… you're welcome."
"This is a little awkward, but, um, do you… do you have to go just yet?"
"Oh, um… no. I've got a couple minutes."
Addison smiles. "Thanks. I just wanted to say that… just that… look, I don't hate you, okay? I know you think I do, but I don't, and I just wanted to let you know."
"Uh, thanks. I, um, I don't hate you either."
Addison smiles again and visibly relaxes. "Okay, well, I think this has been sufficiently awkward."
"You think? Meredith laughs. "Um, get better soon, okay? People are worried."
"I'll try. Thanks."
"Yeah. No problem. So I should probably go."
"Oh. Yeah. Um, yeah."
"So, bye."
"Yeah. Bye."
0ooo0
It becomes clear that Addison will make a full recovery, but still Alex doesn't visit her. Meredith visits her every day and the two are quickly becoming friends, which scares Derek immensely. Everyone else visits Addison, but Alex stays away. Addison asks Meredith about it. "So just about everybody in the hospital's come to visit me, including people I didn't know existed. Everyone but Alex. Is he okay?"
"Alex, yeah, he's, um, he's fine. He's just Alex. I think you scared him."
"What?" Addison laughs.
"He didn't move from outside the OR when you were in there, and he didn't leave the room when you were still out from surgery. I think he really cares about you, but that scares him. You know how he gets."
Addison looks shocked. "Oh."
"But that's not an excuse to come visit you. I can kick his ass, if you want. Okay, I can't, in case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of a twig and he really doesn't pay attention to anything I say, but I could get Izzie to. He listens to Izzie."
"No. That's, um, that's okay."
Meredith looks at her suspiciously. "Okay, if you're sure…"
"I am. Sure, I mean. Look, can we change the subject?"
"Yeah, sure."
0ooo0
He finally visits her far before rounds, when he assumes her to be asleep. Wrong assumption. "Finally," she comments when she sees him in the door. "I was wondering when I could expect the pleasure of your company."
"Sorry. I've been busy," he apologizes.
"Yeah. Doesn't surprise me."
"How are you feeling?" he asks.
"Fine, other than the fact that my back kills me any time I try to move. Derek says I'll make a full recovery, and I'll be able to walk, so I guess I'm good. How are you?"
"Fine." They fall into silence. "Well, I should be going."
"Alex. Please, just… stay and sit with me for a minute?" she pleads. "I…" she bites her lip. "I just really don't want to be alone. Please?"
He immediately pulls a chair up right next to the bed. "Are you okay?" he asks when he's seated.
"Yeah. I guess. As well as can be expected, I mean. I'm just so bored all of the time, and I always hurt, and it sucks."
"You sure you're okay?"
"Yeah," she replies and after considerable silence asks, "So what have you been doing? Back in Plastics now that I've been removed from the running?"
"No," he replies with a smile. "Still working in neonatal, even though your sub sucks. We all just want him to leave. He's a jerk. Everybody wants you back on your feet."
"Considering the extent of my ability to use my legs so far, I don't think you want me on my feet just yet. I'm barely able to stand up as it is. I don't think that walking is an option just yet."
"You know what I mean."
"I do. So I've got a question."
"What?"
"You going to answer honestly?"
"Yeah…"
"Why haven't you come to see me?"
"I…"
"You promised."
"Because I hate seeing you like this."
"Oh."
"Do you know how scared I was when I saw you on that gurney? I… Just don't get hit by any more cars any time soon, okay?"
She smiles softly. "It wasn't in the plan. Then again, neither was this." She gestures at the herself. "Hey, um, Alex?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you… do you think you… would you come back and eat lunch with me?"
He smirks. "You asking me out?"
She laughs. "No. I'm not."
"It's a date," he says, and starts to walk away.
"No, it's not!" she calls after him.
"It is," he calls back.
"Get back here!" she laughs. His head reappears in the doorway. "It's not a date," she informs him.
"But what if I want it to be one?"
She raises an eyebrow, but replies "Then you'd have to do the asking. I'm not asking you out. But I may be persuaded to say yes…"
He rolls his eyes. "Fine. Do you want to eat lunch with me?" he asks.
"I can't get out of bed," she points out.
"I'll come to you," he replies with a sarcastic smile.
"Hm… Maybe. I'm not totally persuaded," she says.
She watches with wide eyes as he approaches her bed, but her eyes close when he kisses her painfully soft. "Persuaded?" he asks.
Her eyes are still closed when she replies, "Not quite."
He kisses her again. "How 'bout now?"
"If this behavior continues at lunch, then I'm definitely persuaded."
"I'll see you then," he says and kisses her one more time.
"See you then," she repeats, and smiles, much happier than when he walked into the room.
i may be persuaded to write another chapter or two for this. maybe. we'll see. you can tell me whether or not i should in a review. ;-)
-Juli-
