Cat Mission Conversations

Disclaimer: This is a purely fan-made piece that is using the world and characters from Masashi Kishimoto's Naruto and is made entirely for enjoyment. No financial gain has been made in the making of this piece

Summery: Izumo and Kotetsu talk over cats

Author's Note: Written for DKF. Possible out-of-characterness

Constructive Criticism is always welcomed

Published: 20 March 2008

Rating: K

"Izumo?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me again why we're doing this."

"Because we agreed to take the mission."

"That's not a good enough reason."

"The hokage told us to do this because we couldn't keep our hands to ourselves and this is our penance."

"It's not doing it for me."

"They're cute."

"You're going to have to do better than that to convince me."

"You're broke."

"…okay, that's a good reason."

Kotetsu slumped back and half a heartbeat later, surged forwards, yelping. "The damn thing just clawed me!" He snarled, kunai in hand as he glared down at the offender.

"Well, you sat on her tail first." Izumo picked up the kitten and soothed her gently. "Who's a fuzzy little kitty? Who's a cute, fuzzy, little kitty?"

A small mieu was his answer and the kitten—now mollified—hopped out of Izumo's hands and began to vigorously clean her tail.

Kotetsu shook his head and sat down again—this time making sure there was nothing fluffy underneath his butt. "I don't know whether I should be impressed or disgusted by displays like that."

"You'll say you're impressed because if I hear you say anything else, you get to clean up Tsunade-sama next time she goes on a bender." Izumo scratched the head of a nearby cat that purred loudly at the attention. "Anyhow, I'm okay with missions like this. It's nice to have one that's just as easy as it's promised to be, for once. Her punishments are usually at lot worse than this and I like not getting stuck cleaning bedpans."

"You call chasing these over-sized dust bunnies easy!"

Izumo shrugged. "We've got them contained and now, it's just sit back and enjoy the ride. I think this could be a lot worse than it is. Don't you remember what happened last time?"

The spiky-hair chunin snorted and leaned back, eyeing the kitten that decided that it wanted to sit on Izumo's lap. "I think you're just soft when it comes to cats."

He smiled that little lopsided half-smile that made Kotetsu's heart beat just a little bit faster. "Maybe." Another cat shoved the first one over so it could get comfortable on Izumo's legs. "But since you're soft on puppies, I don't think you're in the position to say anything."

"I am not soft on puppies!"

"Strange, because I seem to remember a certain incident involving a Labrador puppy and a chunin who works with me asking it who was the bravest widdle ball of—"

"That's not how it went!"

"Oh, that's right, it went 'aren't you the bravest widdle ball of fluff! Oh, yes you are! Yes you—"

"You're not being funny! And I do not sound like that when I see puppies!"

"You're correct. You get a lot more nasal."

Kotetsu glared. Izumo looked unimpressed with the Hagane Death Glare, having spent a goodly amount of time on the receiving end of the feared and terrifying Umino Death Glare. "I am not soft on puppies."

"Of course not."

"You could have the decency to at least sound sincere when you say that."

"Didn't I?"

"No."

"You sound crabby. Maybe you should pet a cat. It's very pleasant and relaxing."

"I don't like cats."

"Too bad. You're missing out."

There was a silence, broken only by the purring felines. Kotetsu fidgeted a little bit, and then couldn't take it any more. "Izumo?"

The bandannaed chunin glanced up. "Hmm? Oh no. NO. That's what got you here in the first place, you dolt!" He shed unhappy cats everywhere as he tried to put some distance between them. "And have you forgotten the fact that we're surrounded by little fuzz machines that have CLAWS? Haven't you gotten scratched enough to know that it's a bad idea?"

Kotetsu slithered forwards a little more. "But Izumo," he let his voice drop a few octaves. "We're alone and I miss you."

"We're almost there and if you get caught, you won't get paid!"

He scowled again. "Fine. But only because I'm broke."

Izumo rolled his eyes. "I'll pound you into the mattress later." He promised before apologising to the cats for dumping them off of his lap and generally disturbing them.

Kotetsu signed and leaned back, only to howl a second later.

The end of the mission couldn't come fast enough.

x Fin x