A/N: So. I had this idea a bit ago and it just wouldn't go away so, here it is. My very first Avengers fan fiction. Don't hate on this cause it's just fun, like doing Acid and running around in the desert. Although, that doesn't seem so 'fun'.
Warnings:
Sex. Probs gonna happen.
Slash. It will be mentioned.
Language. just know that people cuss and so do super heroes.
AU. So Alternate it should be it's own 'Verse.
Wit. Of the Joss Whedon kind.
References. To everything under the sun. Be prepared. Look. There's one now.
Also I kinda made everyone hate on the Captain cause he's so good-y-two shoes and he tends to annoy everyone. (i.e. me.)
Sometimes We Take Chances. Sometimes We Take Pills.
Chapter 1:
We Are Young.
"I hate. My. Life." the younger boy complained his head lolling back onto the leather head rest.
"Quiet, brothar." The diver replied as they pulled up to the drive through window at the coffee house. "Life is not so bad."
His brother glared through his big crazy dark sunglasses "It is alright right for you to say that, Thor. You are popular and stuff! And I am just… not." But his brother was not listening he was busily flirting with the woman at the window. "THOR! I'M CONFIDING IN YOU!"
"Here," Thor said handing his brother a hot coffee drink "Drink. You shall feel better." Loki took the cardboard cup and scowled down at it. "You are just being moody because summer is over and you have to go back to school."
Loki stuck out his tongue at his older brother. "I am always moody. My life is, ONE. BIG. DARK. ROOM."
"That is nice. Now drink the mocha."
"Fuck you."
"All the boys want too."
"Incest."
"You are adopted. So not technically."
"You are gross."
"You are the one who brought up the fucking."
The red Corvette pulled into the student parking lot, swerving around a group of cheerleads that squealed and waved at the car and it's driver, who laughed in return as he pulled into the parking spot right next to the gate. Tony Stark slid out of the car a smart smile on his lips, as he was swarmed by the gaggle of cheerleaders.
"I thought I was supposed to get all the cheerleaders." Steve Rogers stated as he, Natasha and Clint watched the scene from the air conditioned classroom. "I'm Captain of like… every spots team." The classroom had a torturously good view of the whole campus from the student parking lot to the football field to the wielding shops on South.
"Except archery." Natasha pointed out squeezing Clint's bicep. Her boyfriend smirked but was busy watching something on the other side of the field.
"Well yeah, archery is a bunch of twaddle for puss- I mean that I'd never try to out do Clint, that's his thing." Steve nodded at Clint's sudden glare as Tony had begun to make his across the classroom toward them.
"The year hasn't even started and I'm already breaking hearts." Tony sighed as he collapsed on into one of the plastic chairs behind Natasha and one over. "I wonder what life has in store for me this year."
"Probably plenty of parties and blackouts." Steve replied leaning back against his chair. Tony raised an eyebrow and gave him a look over the top of his sunglasses before shrugging.
"Yeah. Probably." Tony agreed and seemed content with that fact. "God, life as a millionaire genius is hard."
"Yeah, I bet you lie awake at night and reminisce about how difficult your day was." Steve snorted.
"At least I lie awake at night a think. Not wank off like someone people, right Captain Virginity?" Tony said, Steve kicked him in the back before picking up his things and moving to a seat in the front of the classroom a row and one over from Natasha. Tony chuckled under his breath as he watched a convertible pink VW Bug, with a bumper sticker that displayed a lighting symbol on it, pull in the parking lot. It swerved through the gaggle of cheerleaders Tony had left, and in to a parking place next to a big black van with the words 'BIG DAMN HEROES' painted across the side with a mural of five Viking looking band members. Tony always thought that the 'HEROES' actually looked like 'HERPES' though. He thought that the band should have whoever did the mural shoot. His father could probably arrange it.
A pair of boys climbed out of the pink car, both equally and ridiculously tall, but where the driver was blond and wide shouldered, his brother was the opposite, dark in color and small in stature. The blond one said something to his brother he didn't seemingly respond and then they parted ways, the blond making his way up to the classroom.
The room itself was dourly drab; the teacher had not even attempted to put up any of those awful colorful motivation teacher posters. It was just a cell made of four half tan half off white walls, weird school panel ceiling, too many windows, and new squeaky linoleum. Which Tony was pretty sure they outlawed since it contained massive amounts of lead. So not only was he required to spend 2 hours in here a day learning about 'World Policies', he was also going to be slowly poisoned with lead. He suspected that it was some master plan of Steve Rogers' too slowly and painfully kill him.
"Ah, look! The sky as parted and the sun smiled upon us, for a God has graced us with his presence." Tony exclaimed looking up as Thor made his way into the room. Thor nodded at the rich boy.
"Thor," Steve started "You know that we had a preliminary practice last night right?" Thor sighed and dropped down in the seat behind Steve and in front of Tony.
"Yeah, Rogers I did, what of it?" Thor asked taking a large gulp of coffee "I was occupied. I could not attend."
Tony elbowed him and leaned forward "Was it that sweet little science nerd?" Thor scowled at him but winked anyway with a smirk.
"I'll tell you what of it." Steve said sounding angry. "You can't play on the team if you're never there! It's a team sport Thor, there's no 'I' in team!"
"There is a 'me' though." Tony pointed out "If you rearrange the letters." Thor laughed and high-fived Tony.
Steve gave Tony a dirty look "That's why they kicked you off the soccer team." he retorted "No team sprit. You can't play well with others."
"No actually," Tony said turning around and looking at the other boy over his sunglasses "They kicked me off because they caught me smoking weed in the locker room. I had a ton of team sprit. The bong was school colors even."
"Oh hey, speaking of weed, do you know if the Ratrays got anymore?" Thor asked Tony "We have a gig coming up and Sif is scared to death to play." Steve couldn't help but look at Thor with an appalling look.
"Thor! Weed is illegal!" He hissed "They could have you suspended for smoking it!" Thor informed him that he never said that he was going to smoke it before going back to his conversation with Tony about weed. As the boys talked about weed and who sold the best and how Thor was saving up to get something pierced for his 18th birthday, Steve sent pointed glares into the backs of both of their heads.
The door slid open again and a small scruffy looking boy slunk in, acting as though he didn't want to be noticed. He was. By none other then Tony Stark.
"Bruce!" Tony exclaimed waving his hands before jumping from his seat and dragging the small boy over to them. "Come. Sit with us."
"You say 'us' as though we're friends." Clint said as Steve pulled out his phone and started playing some game on it.
"Fine." Tony shrugged pulling Bruce down into a chair. "Sit with me." Bruce Banner was small Thor observed. Too small. He was short and mousy and the shirt he was wearing was wrinkled like he'd slept in it too. Maybe the kid had. Thor figured that it would have been rude to ask. So instead he decided to kick Steve's chair. Thor smiled at the Captain innocently when he turned around the glare at the taller boy. When Steve turned back Thor kicked his chair again.
Finally, just a few moments before the bell rang, the last member of the class role slunk in. Loki slithered in to the class looking like Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice with his greasy hair and dark clothing. He tried to find a spot in the back but Thor had already grabbed him and forced him to sit next to him. Loki glared unhappily out from under his locks of raven hair, but Thor just smiled widely at him before he flicked his brother on the leather clad arm. Loki silently seethed that Thor would pay for it. One day. He would pay for the bullying he'd done. (ALSO, LOKI IS SUPER SEXY WITH HIS MYSTERIOUS GREEN EYES)
"Where's the teacher?" Natasha finally asked after the late bell had rung. Everyone else looked up from whatever they'd been doing and glanced around the empty classroom.
"So is this it then?" Thor asked "This is our World Studies class?"
"It is not 'World Studies' you fool." Loki snapped "It is World Policies."
Thor gave him a look and said "Same fucking thing."
"No. Actually," Steve spoke up "World Studies means that we would be studying everything about the world, but because it's World Policies we just learn about political policies that other countries have established."
"Rogers." Thor said kicking his chair again "I did not ask you. I will let you know if I want to know the difference between the words 'studies' and 'policies'." Thor snapped before adding "Which I do, by the way. Before you said so."
Before Steve could retort or Loki for that matter the door opened once more and a big hulking black man stepped into the room. The man was big, dressed in a black duster and sweater, with a frightening patch over his left eye. The look he gave the students was one that would have sent even the newest of vampires to their fiery graves. It made even Thor, who was so large that not even the toughest of gangster at their school dared fight him, slink back in his chair, as if the man had found every deep dark secret of his and planned to inform the whole class of them.
He continued to glare for a moment as he stood behind his desk before he turned from them in a sweep of his coat to write Director Fury in red Expo marker on the board. Then he turned back to the class with a hateful glare.
"You will call me Director Fury." He announced folding his arms behind his back. "This is World Policies, and if any of you were thinking that this was another class, such as World Studies, or something of the sort, I highly suggest that you get out. This is a highly demanding course, and I do not suggest it to those of uncommitted mind." He seemed to point a glare at Thor who raised a challenging eyebrow back. "Now. Open your books to page one please." And as he turned away the group of teenagers leaned in toward each other to give one another one of those 'F.M.L.' looks.
