Caldera city prison - present
"It brightens up your complexion, Mai, you should really wear more colours," Ty Lee notes trying to sound cheerful as they change into the ugly, shapeless prison clothes. Horrible shades of brick-pink. As she pulls on the rough, scratchy fabric, Mai longs for her black and gray silk outfits, made with light flowing materials. She's never had much control over her own life, but she fought her mother hard at the age of thirteen for control over her wardrobe - and won. An insignificant victory in the grand scheme of things, but still, a piece of herself that belongs to nobody. She has not worn bright colours ever since.
Instead of replying to Ty Lee, she shoots a murderous glance at the prison guard who is busy packing up and tagging their personal belongings. "Keep my blades safe," she says drily.
"I know your uncle is the warden of the Boiling Rock, but here, you are just another prisoner." The guard's voice is full of contempt. It is part of the power-game, Mai knows that. After all, it is the game she's been taught to play all her life. The guard is right of course, they are vulnerable and exposed here. The prison system is known for abuses of power; everyone closes an eye, everyone turns the other way. Show no fear or they'll own you, she thinks. She wills her face to remain an emotionless mask as she meets the guard's challenging gaze.
"I'll be sure to shake," she says sarcastically in her well-practiced flat tone. Never show fear. Never show that you care about anything.
"I hope all the guards are nice here like you," Ty Lee adds with a wink and a syrupy smile. She has a vastly different way of coping with fear. The guard looks at her as if she were slightly deranged. As far as Mai is concerned that is still up for debate.
Another guard arrives and cuffs their hands before parading them through the winding corridors to their cell among the glares and hisses of the other prisoners. It is all part of the show, meant to intimidate. They are pushed into the cell smelling of must and lingering human waste. Mai slumps down on the narrow, hard futon and leans against the wall. It is cold and rough against her back. Ty Lee bends into a graceful bridge effortlessly. "It feels good to stretch," she enthuses.
"You know, you can drop the upbeat act. There is no audience to appreciate it." Ty Lee's overly cheerful behaviour is starting to become unbearable. The sooner she realizes the hopelessness of their situation, the better for everyone. When it comes down to it, Mai lost her head and it cost them everything.
"How about you drop the downbeat act for once? Maybe I should have left Azula..." Ty Lee snaps.
Mai glares back at her. "You probably should have. I didn't ask you to save me. It was foolish of you." She should feel grateful, Ty Lee probably saved her life, but instead she just feels annoyed. She never wanted to drag anyone into her rebellion. She hates feeling beholden to the acrobat.
"I guess because I'm just a dumb circus freak who doesn't know what's best for her."
"Maybe you are," she mutters. She is still unsure why Ty Lee chose to save her, and she is not ready to have that conversation. Being dumped by the jerk has been draining enough emotionally, she's not ready to dig into other aspects of her life.
"You really do love him, don't you?" Ty Lee scoots closer to her, putting her hand on Mai's. The contact makes her uneasy, but she doesn't have the heart to pull her hand away.
Mai leans back against the wall and closes her eyes. "What does it matter now?"
Ba Sing Se - 3 months earlier
The Earth Kingdom Palace, just like the entire city was an insufferably boring place, Mai concluded as she was lounging around on the steps of the throne room. She didn't quite understand Azula's obsession with conquering this dump - but she knew from experience, whenever Azula got obsessed about something, it was better to play along, or melt into the background and become invisible.
"She's been gone for a while," Ty Lee noted with a bit of nervousness in her voice. "Do you think she's OK?"
"Azula is always fine," Mai said and truthfully couldn't tell if she was happy or disappointed about it. It didn't matter either way; the princess was unlikely to lose sleep over what Mai thought about her. They were supposed to be "friends", but Mai never had any illusion about the true nature of their relationship. They both depended on Azula's whim.
"Word is, she captured Zuko," Ty Lee remarked, carefully studying Mai's reaction. Mai pulled out one of her shuriken blades and flipped it around her fingers not to betray any emotion. Azula used to tease her relentlessly for the childish crush she once had on Zuko. But that was a long time ago - Mai had learnt to control her feelings since. And as for Zuko - well, that crush was in the past.
"Zuko is a fool if he let himself be captured," Mai replied neutrally with a carefully rehearsed shrug.
"You must be curious," Ty Lee prodded with a bright smile.
"Not in the least." Mai closed her eyes and turned away hoping that Ty Lee would interpret the cue correctly. She was done with the conversation.
"Well, some of us work hard, while others relax." Azula's sharp voice announced her arrival. Mai sat up as the princess entered the throne room with a triumphant smile. "We have the city, got rid of the Avatar and caught my treacherous uncle. Not bad for a day of work," she continued heading straight towards the throne. But Mai's attention wasn't on Azula, as she noticed the boy standing behind her from under the fringe hiding her eyes. She kept herself perfectly still, as all those inconvenient childish feelings came rushing back, making her throat dry and her heart beat with a thunderous rhythm. He was so pale, thin, dirty and tattered. And yet... Agni, how was it possible for someone to become more attractive with such a hideous scar?
Zuko was oblivious to her scrutiny as he gazed into the distance, visibly lost in unpleasant thoughts. Apparently, the idiot was still wearing all his emotions on his sleeve. He would be eaten alive by his sister, Mai thought.
Azula, however, immediately noticed the well-hidden gaze, as her lips curved into a calculating smile like a spoilt child at the sight of a new toy. Mai cursed herself for showing any opening on her carefully crafted armour.
"Zuzu, let's see if we can get you cleaned up; you look like some common rabble. It's so vulgar." Azula turned to Mai with a sweet smile. "Why don't you make sure my brother gets the royal treatment he deserves?"
A bad feeling settled in the pit of Mai's stomach; she felt like the meadow vole waiting for the serpent to strike. It was a rather unpleasant feeling. She hid her shaking hands in her long sleeves and got to her feet with the most sullen expression she could muster.
"Come with me," she nodded to Zuko drily and started down the empty corridors of the palace without looking back.
"Prepare a bath for Prince Zuko and find him some suitable clothes," she ordered the servants as they arrived to the bath quarters. "Also get a room ready for him."
As she turned around, for the first time she found herself looking into his impossibly golden eyes that used to mesmerize her as a girl. The fire burnt in them stronger than she remembered. Those flames screamed danger and Mai averted her eyes not wanting to be consumed by it.
"Thank you, Mai," his quiet voice startled her. It was low and raspy, like a blade scratching down rough wood.
"Does this mean you are back?" she asked.
"Yes, I'm back," he nodded though his voice was distant as if he talked about someone else.
"Well, see you later then," she turned around leaving Zuko with the servants.
He called after her hesitantly. "Mai….my uncle...do you know where he was taken?"
"Why do you care?" Mai asked sharply, all her senses screaming danger.
"I just want to make sure he gets his tea. Ginseng is his favourite," he muttered turning away his head.
"Get changed, Zuko. Azula likes to eat punctually." Mai was careful to keep her voice neutral. Then as she walked away, she turned back and added in a low voice, "I'll make sure your uncle gets his tea."
As the words came out of her mouth unbidden, she cursed herself for falling for his sad seal-puppy act. What was wrong with her? She was going to get into trouble. Zuko was no match for Azula, and she would be a fool to get into the middle of their deadly game. Mai had survived this long with Azula because she never gave her an opening. Sentimental emotions were not something that she could afford now. Still, a cup of tea for an old man, even if a traitor should not be a big deal, she told herself, as she ordered the servants.
-0-
Caldera City prison - present
Mai is woken up by the harsh sound of a bell. It takes her a moment to get her bearings and realize where she is. Her muscles ache from the hard mattress and she feels chilled to the bone from the damp coldness of the cell. She longs for the glorious firebender warmth that Zuko used to wrap her in, but she shuts down the thought. The way he left is still raw inside her, and if she lets herself think about it, she risks a tearful breakdown which she can't afford.
"How did you sleep?" Ty Lee asks her with her usual smile. "I'm starving - hope there's breakfast soon."
Mai thinks shuddering of the stories her uncle used to tell about the methods to cut corners on the prison food. But Ty Lee is right, they haven't eaten for almost a day.
A guard appears at their cell; a big guy with broad shoulders and an lecherous smile. "I've heard that we have some special prisoners."
Ty Lee flutters her eyelashes at him. Flirting is her standard operating mode. "I'm looking forward to meeting the others here."
The enthusiastic smile throws the guard off balance. He opens the cell door and leads them down to the dining hall. It's dark and damp like the rest of the prison and Mai feels the eyes of the other inmates on them as they seize up the newcomers. She stares back impassively, while Ty Lee gives a little wave. "Hello, everyone," she singsongs. Mai can hear the nervousness in her voice. Silence. Ty Lee's smile falters a little. Mai feels like she should comfort her somehow, but she's never been good at that.
The prisoners wait in a long line that moves like sea slugs on a sandy dune, clutching their bowls with bony hands. Mai silently observes the crowd - men and women mixed together. Resigned, hostile eyes of Water Tribe blue and Earth Kingdom green stare back at her. There are also some unmistakably Fire Nation eyes, with shades of brown and grey. None of them gold though.
By the time they get to the front of the line, there are only burnt scraps of the disgusting grey rice porridge left. They each get a spoonful of the vile-smelling gruel and Mai tries not to gag. The only seats open are at the back of the dining hall. As they make their way around the crowded tables, Mai looks resolutely ahead, avoiding any eye-contact. This is probably the reason she never notices the leg that comes out fast as lightning to trip her. She falls over, bowl shattered as the disgusting porridge stains the floor. There is some snickering. Mai looks up to locate the perpetrator but all she sees are ice-cold stares radiating hatred. The most likely candidate is a freckled frog-face girl with hideous purple ribbons in her hair, sitting on the nearest bench. Mai gives her a look that's meant to be intimidating. But Purple Ribbons just smiles back, almost imperceptibly. It's a cruel smile, promising more incidents. Before Mai has a chance to contemplate why Purple Ribbons hates her so much, the guard makes her way over to scene.
"Wasting food is a serious offense. We are at war, there are no resources to be wasted on scums like you. Looks like you are eating from the floor." Another challenge.
Mai looks at the gooey mess and hates that she's tempted for a moment before she turns her face away. "I'm not hungry." Her voice is flat.
"Well, then I guess you won't mind if your dinner is also given to someone else." The guard raises the stakes.
"Fine, take me back to my cell."
"First clean up the mess you made, inmate." The guard shoves a mop and a bucket at her.
"Whatever." Mai has never in her life used such tools and her fumbling attracts grimaces and chuckles from the crowd. She keeps her eyes resolutely on her task, ignoring everyone else.
-0-
Ba Sing Se - 3 months ago
"The food is despicable in this wretched place." Azula poked at a piece of succulent roast duck with her chopsticks as if it was a gutter-rat meat.
"I quite like the little dumplings," Ty Lee jumped in with a smile, trying to lighten the mood, as usual. "Try those, Azula." Mai made sure that her face was as disinterested as possible. Azula liked mindgames, and she was good at them. It was always the same: find the weak spot, establish dominance and control and watch the hapless victim squirm. Her eyes sparkled with the excitement of having a new, shiny toy to play with. She turned to her brother with an overly sweet smile.
"I guess, dear brother, you had enough time to get used to the food of Earth Kingdom peasants, considering you lived like one…"
Mai glanced at Zuko as his shoulders tightened at the comment. Before he could make an idiotic comeback she interjected, "It's just dull… everything tastes so bland here."
"I find hunger makes for a good seasoning." Zuko glowered at his sister.
"Oh, wise Zuzu, you sound almost like Uncle Fatso," Azula waved nonchalantly. But she kept her cold, amused gaze on Zuko as her lips curled. There was a challenge in that smirk.
Zuko clenched his fists and looked ready to jump, but then he reigned in his anger. "I'm not playing your games, Azula."
"I'm just trying to make civilized conversation, Zuko. Or have you forgotten what it's like to live in a palace?" She shrugged. "Tell us at least what was your favourite food. Maybe I can order the cook to make it."
"The roast duck I had after almost starving in the woods. You know, that time you tried to kill me." Zuko's voice was dripping with sarcasm.
Azula rolled her eyes. "Oh, still so dramatic, dear brother. It was just friendly sparring."
"Whatever, Azula." Zuko turned his attention back to his noodles. Only the stiffness of his pose betrayed his anger.
"Well, and here I was thinking you'd show some gratitude. I didn't need to bring you in, you know. But you seem to have picked up the lack of manners from all the dirty peasants," Azula kept needling him.
"They are people, who suffered much and many of them are still kind. Which is more than what I can say about you." Zuko dropped his chopsticks in a huff and stood up.
"Not waiting for the desert?" Ty Lee sing-songed. "I've heard it's tea-cake..."
"Not hungry." He stomped out of the dining room, slamming the door on the way out.
-0-
Caldera City prison - present
It is hard not to pay attention to the growling of one's stomach when there is nothing to distract from the hunger. Mai wonders if this was how Zuko felt when he was a fugitive, hiding in the Earth Kingdom woods without food and shelter. He has never talked much about those days. Well, he never talked much, really, about anything. Talking was just a source of misunderstanding.
Mai pulls out the small shard of the bowl she broke that she managed to hide in her sleeve during clean-up. It's just a piece of broken pottery, but it has a pointed end and as she runs her fingers along the edge, it feels sharp, if jagged. She desperately misses her knives, but this is better than nothing. Sooner or later she'll have to go back out with the other inmates, and the little shiv makes her feel less naked. She hides her makeshift weapon as she hears footsteps.
The cell-door opens and Ty Lee is back. Her company is a welcome distraction from the drudgery of the cell and the pangs of hunger Mai feels. After the guard's footsteps recede, Ty Lee pulls out a small ball of rice from her prison garb.
"Sorry, I couldn't hide more than this," she whispers with a conspiratory smile. Ty Lee somehow still pretends that their imprisonment is an exciting game, rather than the harsh reality for the indeterminable future.
Mai frowns, knowing she should let her keep her happy bubble, but it's hard. "You shouldn't have." It bothers her that Ty Lee just did something risky again for her. She has enough problems, she doesn't need other things to feel guilty for, like how she dragged her only friend down with her.
Ty Lee seems annoyed by her lack of enthusiasm. "Well, I did. So, just eat it, Mai." Her tone is almost hostile, and that somehow makes Mai feel better. There shouldn't be pretense. Not between the two of them, but they are stuck in roles they have been playing too long.
Mai sighs and takes a tiny bite. It's revolting, tastes of salt and burn, but she keeps chewing. The aftertaste in her mouth feels like ash. Still, she knows she should thank Ty Lee. After all, they don't have anyone, but each other. Ty Lee doesn't really expect thanks. She kneels down next to Mai and continues to chatter in low voice.
"I was sitting really close to these two guards - one of them had a cute little mustache - anyways. I couldn't help overhearing them talking. Apparently, Azula went after the Avatar and Zuko."
Mai holds her breath, waiting for the horrible news that Zuko is dead or captured; that their sacrifice was in vain.
Ty Lee sees her tension and smiles. It's a sad smile. "Relax - apparently she didn't catch them. She had a fight with Zuko on top of an airship and they both fell. Except, Zuko was caught by the Avatar's friends and Azula kept falling." Her voice trails off as she stares at her hands.
"So?"
"She saved herself." Of course, she did , thinks Mai. Azula is always fine. Mai is not sure how she feels about this news. She's relieved that Zuko is alive, even if he's the jerk who broke her heart. But is she happy that Azula survived? She should be. Even after everything, she doesn't want Azula dead… At least, she's fairly certain she doesn't. None of her feelings make sense, so she pushes them aside.
"Are you sad that she survived?" Her voice is barely audible. These are treacherous thoughts, things they never allowed themselves to think, let alone say.
Ty Lee's eyes widen with shock but then she slowly shakes her head. "It makes me sad that there was nobody to catch her. We weren't there to catch to her." Mai looks away. Ty Lee has always been a better friend to the princess than Mai.
"We can't save her, Ty Lee. Not from herself."
"Maybe we haven't tried hard enough." Ty Lee looks at her and it's disconcerting to see a tear glisten in her eyes.
-0-
Ba Sing Se - 3 months ago.
"I want you to keep an eye on my brother, Mai." Azula noted casually, glancing up from the scroll she was reading. She had been busy organizing the handover of Ba Sing Se to the Fire Nation military before their return to the palace.
"Why? He proved his loyalty, no?" Mai kept filing her nails with a bored expression, not to betray the unease she felt at the princess' request. Even if deep down she had known it was going to come. Azula never let something go for free.
"Certainly. Which is why he's not being locked up." Azula replied coldly.
Mai rolled her eyes in response. "Why don't you ask Ty Lee? It's more her specialty; following boys around, not mine."
"I would, and it would be less like pulling teeth. But Ty Lee is not Zuko's type, you are." Azula smirked. Mai did not reply. It was hard to know who was Zuko's type, considering he had been avoiding all three of them since that disastrous dinner, opting to mope alone in his room or pace restlessly in the garden. "Look, you should be subtle about it. You two have always had a rapport."
"Whatever. I'm not your spy," Mai said defiantly, even if she knew it was unlikely to change Azula's mind.
"Mai, believe me, you're not doing me a favour - you're doing him a favour if you keep foolish Zuzu out of trouble. That's what friends are for, no? To look out for each other?" Mai sighed. It was not an argument she was going to win. So what was the point? And Azula was right in one thing, as stupid as it was, she wanted to look out for Zuko. He seemed so lost.
She bumped into Zuko on the corridor as he was heading towards the gate of the palace.
"Where are you going?" she asked with her arms crossed on her chest, leaning against a marble pillar.
"Out. I'm not a prisoner, am I?" He shot back with hostility. Mai just glared at him. She had learnt to use silence as a weapon. Zuko glowered back at her, but then added more quietly. "I have some things in the tea shop I'd like to pick up."
"Can I come?" Mai pushed herself away from the pillar.
"Why? Azula thinks I need an escort?" Zuko asked sarcastically. Apparently, he knew her sister all too well.
Not wanting to lie, Mai ignored his question and drawled with an exaggerated sigh. "This place bores me to death." At least that was the truth.
Zuko shrugged. "Fine. Suit yourself."
They spent the 15 minutes of walk towards the tea shop in sullen silence. Mai didn't mind. She always hated small talk. It was refreshing not having to make an effort. Apparently, Zuko was not a fan of empty chatter either. He stopped in front of a cozy building with a green and white facade. It was simple, but elegant.
"The Jasmine Dragon," she read out loud the sign.
"It was Uncle's idea," he said while he fished out a key hidden in a flowerpot and unlocked the door. It looked upscale and tasteful. The type of place where people would want to hang out and talk.
"It's nice," Mai pulled her fingers along the edge of a wooden table.
"Yeah, Uncle was really proud of this place." Zuko seemed subdued like always whenever his uncle came up in a conversation. He strangely seemed to be nostalgic about the place.
She tried to imagine the brooding prince in an apron serving tea and the thought just seemed absurd. "You really worked here?"
"Yeah. It wasn't so bad," he looked a bit sheepish. Mai understood. Rich people like them did not have jobs like commoners. It was supposed to be beneath them. Zuko knew this of course, but also did seem to take a bit of pride in it.
"I once worked in my aunt's flower shop for a summer." Mai had no idea what prompted her to say that. At the time she fought bitterly with her mother about being shipped off to her aunt to some Agni-forsaken dusty corner of the Fire Nation. But in the end, it wasn't so bad. There was freedom in being outside the suffocating net of politics and palace intrigue. The people were poor, but they seemed somehow more real.
Zuko raised his good eyebrow. The asymmetry of his face made his expressions somehow even more vivid. "I didn't know your aunt had a flower shop."
"There are lots of things you don't know about me." As she said it, her voice sounded almost breathless. Zuko's eyes flickered with a new intensity, and they stared at each other for a long moment, the space between them vibrating with a tension. The asymmetry of his face from this close was striking, but not in a bad way. Mai abhorred perfection. In her experience, it almost always hid ugliness inside. There was a brutal honesty to Zuko's scar that somehow made him seem more real. Mai's throat felt dry and she licked her lips. "So will you invite me for a tea?" she asked hoarsely, breaking the moment.
Zuko looked uncertain, as if he couldn't decide whether she was mocking him. "Are you serious?"
"Well, I'm thirsty. And I want to know what made this place the best tea shop in Ba Sing Se."
Zuko nodded and moved to the counter, pulling out a teapot and filling it with water. "According to my uncle, the secret ingredient is…" He stopped himself mid-sentence and looked away.
"What?" she prompted.
He shook his head. "Nothing. Do you like green or lychee?" He sounded neutral, all business-like.
"Surprise me," she said playfully. Zuko pulled out a bag from the drawer, filled with pale leaves. Mai watched as he prepared the tea with precise motions. He heated the water with firebending and seeped the leaves in the hot water. He wordlessly pulled out a chair for her, and brought two white porcelain cups to the table, printed with the symbol of teashop. He stood so close to her as he poured the steaming drinks that she could feel the heat of his body. Their breaths echoed in the empty room.
"This is my favourite, silver leaf." He chewed his lips, waiting for her reaction. Mai was never much of a tea person, but it was surprisingly fragrant with bittersweet overtones. It tasted dark and bright at the same time.
"It's...good," she nodded. He seemed relieved at her approval. He poured a cup for himself and sat down across from her at the table.
"Why are you here?" he asked quietly. The question startled her. It was direct, to the point.
Mai gave him a practiced shrug. "I told you, I was bored…"
"No, I meant with Azula." His eyes measured her in a way that made her uncomfortable.
"She asked. She's our friend. Isn't that how it's supposed to work?" She replied feeling a bit defensive. As if she ever really had a choice. Her friendship with Azula was an asset to the family, her mother always said, it was Mai's duty to keep it.
"And your family?" he asked.
"They are in Omashu. My father was made governor there." Mai shrugged.
"He's done well for himself."
"The only thing he cares about is doing well for himself. That place is a dump." Mai hated their move away from the capital, and Azula's arrival was a welcome distraction. At least for a while she felt more free. But of course she was wrong. The leash was longer, but she was in shackles nonetheless.
Zuko frowned. "Doesn't that bother you? I thought the purpose of the war was to make things better for everyone… But so much of Earth Kingdom is just poor."
Mai snorted in disbelief. Zuko was the oldest of them, but somehow also the most naive. "You haven't been much around the Fire Nation, have you?"
Zuko's frown deepened. "I've been to Ember…"
Mai cut him off impatiently. "Ember Island is a resort for the rich. Much of the Fire Nation outside of the capital isn't that much different from the Earth Kingdom. Poverty is the same everywhere."
"But doesn't it bother you?" he asked again.
Mai gave him an annoyed shrug. This kind of thinking led nowhere. "I didn't make this world, Zuko. Neither did you. It doesn't make any difference what I think. It is what it is, there is no point in overthinking it. Politics bores me." There was a flicker in Zuko's eyes, almost like disappointment. But Mai was fairly certain she was right. It was better to be a realist than...she looked at his scar, the angry purple skin... the price of idealism was steep. She looked away.
Zuko sighed. "I'll get my things."
Mai followed him onto the second floor of the house. His room was small, but clean and bright, with a nice futon, a carved wooden chest and a small table in the corner. The wall was decorated with watercolour paintings of cherry blossoms and turtle ducks swimming in a pond. His apron hang neatly on a hook as evidence of that other life he lived. Zuko opened the chest and took out his dao swords and small dagger. Mai recognized the ornate handle and smiled.
"You still have it? I remember when you showed it to me that the first time..." It was one of her most cherished memories. Just the two of them, away from Azula's needling and Ty Lee's giggles. Zuko showed her new dagger proudly and taught her how to throw the blade. His hands were on her wrists as he explained the motion again and again. She fell in love with the feeling. The cold, sharp danger that gave her a rush, made her feel something. It made her alive. In the moment.
"You've always been fascinated with blades, I remember." There was a shadow of a smile on his lips. Perhaps he remembered the same thing. The smile faded quickly, "So many things have changed since then."
Mai took the dagger out of his hand and ran her finger along the sharp edge, letting herself feel that rush again. She stepped closer, looking straight into his eyes. Her voice was husky. "My love of blades hasn't."
He swallowed and closed his eyes for a moment as if he was trying to make a decision. Mai reached out and their fingers touched lightly. His hands changed, they weren't smooth and soft anymore, the skin was rough and calloused. It was a man's hand, not a child's. His eyes popped open from the contact and as they stood only inches apart, his golden irises seemed to engulf her in hot flame flickering with desire. He leaned closer, and as their lips met, the kiss tasted bittersweet like the silverleaf tea. The dagger fell to the floor with a loud clunk.
