The light glow of the campfire brought warmth to the (mostly) sleeping company. However the flame only reminded Fili of the close call they had with trolls just that morning. All Fili could think of was: What if i hadn't come in time? He remembered hearing his brother's voice sound from the troll's clearing. What could have prompted Kili to jump headfirst into danger without a plan to back him up?
Fili could never seem to be able to knock any sort of sense into his pig-headed little brother.
Kili was constantly throwing himself into harms way. He never thought things through before acting. Fili's little brother was convinced he was invincible- a lie that Fili was constantly trying to get his brother to understand was just not true.
Who was he kidding? He and Kili have been together for almost as long as long as Fili could remember. Ever since Kili could first walk he was getting into trouble.
Fili remembered one moment when Kili was only just toddling around: Uncle Thorin had come back from the forges with news that he would get the entire next week off to spend with Dis and the boys. In his excitement he forgot to shut the front door and didn't even notice Kili sitting on the rug by the fireplace. While everybody else was gathered in the kitchen Kili saw his chance and toddled right out the door. By the time anyone realized he was gone Kili had made it far from the house and was likely almost to the village. We were all worried sick that we would never find him, however just before Uncle was about to call a mountain-wide search, Mister Bofur showed up carrying a sleeping Kili in his arms.
Apparently Kili remembered the way to his favorite toy store- which explained the the wooden dwarf warrior toy Kili had pulled tightly against his chest.
Mum was furious and would have never forgiven Uncle had Kili been truly lost.
Fili chuckled lightly at the memory. Only his mum could make Thorin cower the he did that day. She was the only thing on earth his uncle feared. The thought alone was enough to spark a smile on his face which quickly disappeared when he caught sight Kili's sleeping form. How could Kili sleep with what had happened?
Fili wouldn't be able to get over it. When would Kili learn? Fili feared that if he couldn't teach his brother then experience would. Fili shuddered at the thought. No. I will be there to save him. Nothing will touch him as long as I'm here to stop it.
Fili wouldn't let anything happen to his baby brother. Fili prayed to whoever was listening that he would be the one to go first. He could not live with himself if Kili was ever taken from him. He was the older brother, he was supposed to go first.
Unfortunately Fili had a feeling Kili would feel the same. His brother had a way of turning things around, of turning things that shouldn't happen into things that did happen. This will not be one of those things. I won't let it be.
As Kili's older brother Fili wouldn't let him leave first. If he had to plunge a knife into his own heart at Kili's death bed, Mahal help him, he would go first or they would go together.
As his thoughts continued to wander Fili was suddenly startled back into reality by a voice.
"Fee?" mumbled a half-asleep Kili.
"Kili, you should be sleeping." Fili gently scolded.
"I should be sleeping? What about you? You look like an angry troll who missed his afternoon nap." Kili stated, letting out a quiet laugh at the last bit.
Fili's frown only deepened at the mention of trolls. "How can you joke like that after what happened this morning?"
Kili's face only turned to a shade of confused amusement. "I was only trying to lighten the mood a bit. Everything turned out fine in the end. There's nothing to worry about. Is that why you're still awake?" The amusement left Kili's eyes as he noticed Fili's continuing frown.
"I could have lost you. If I hadn't come in time... you might be gone." Fili's eyes went downcast in shame.
"But you didn't lose me, and you did make it in time. I'm still here and I always will be." Kili replied, the smile returning once again.
"I suppose you're right. You do realize you're not invincible, right?" Fili stated with a slight smirk on his face.
"How would we know? I haven't died yet. Now go to sleep you knucklehead." Kili said as he rolled over and closed his eyes.
Fili chuckled as he rolled his eyes. Finally with comforting thought in his head he could finally relax enough to fall asleep, all the while his brother's voice played in his head: "I haven't died yet."
