Note from the Author:

First thing I'm going to quickly say is that it is in the Glee tag because I love my Gleeks and they are the ones that have supported me so if you were looking for a fanfic about Finn or Rachel or Puck or Blaine, I'm really sorry but you won't find it here.

Secondly, I haven't written anything in a really long time. This story basically explains why. I've been wrapped up and my mind elsewhere.

However, I'm getting back to writing and hopefully, going to be updating a story very soon that has been waiting for its continuation for over a year (I'm the worst).

This story is a little different than anything I've ever written but critique it away.

I haven't really edited it much since I just wanted to get all my feelings and thoughts out and post.

I hope you all like it.


There's a boy. He's everything you want wrapped up in one package. His smile melts you. His touch makes your stomach flip. When he looks into your eyes, you could feel the love radiating out of him into you. His kisses made your toes curl.

You could tell him anything. He was your best friend. You spent every waking moment thinking about him; how to make him happier; how to make him smile; when you would see him next. He knew everything about you, and knowing that, he still loved you.

He had his flaws. They were big flaws but you pushed them aside. They didn't matter.

He got you.

He loved you.

Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn't.

It doesn't matter how or why. He's gone.

You can't sleep. You want to eat yourself into oblivion. Your pillow is soaked from the hours you spent crying over him.

You love him so much and he doesn't love you anymore.

He doesn't even want to see you anymore.

You don't feel like yourself anymore.

With his departure, he ripped out apart of you. He took a piece of yourself with him. The person you once were no longer exists and all that's left is a small broken girl trying to mangle up the pieces.

Your smile is plastered on for all those telling you to move on.

"It's been long enough."

"Let him go."

It feels like the entire world is against you, and what's worse; the one person you ever felt close enough to spill your guts too is gone. No one else understands and even if they pretend to listen, it's not the same.

You are all alone.

One day, a bright light shines into your world.

"We could make great friends."

A reunion.

Every step is a carefully calculated one. A part of you still loves him, but he's not yours anymore. You watch him live a happy life from a far but he's given you a piece. You accept that and enjoy having your best friend return. It feels as though is right in the world.

But it's not.

There's this girl.

Then there's another one.

You can't really keep count but you hear all the stories.

He's not yours.

You remind yourself every day that your life is a better one without him by your side but you gleam at the fact that the end of the night, you can talk to him once more.

He doesn't make it easy for you.

He's just as charming.

His smile hasn't changed.

He still has that little sparkle when he looks at you.

You always turn your head quickly to make it go away.

He's back in your life and you can't spoil it by letting yourself fall in love once more.

But you did.

He gets colder and colder.

Your conversations grow shorter, and you can feel the end drawing near.

Messages get ignored.

Phone calls declined.

You just want to scream at him. His presence in your life means everything and he's yanking it away without a thought.

And then faster than you can "stop"

He's gone.

But there's still hope.

You give him the space he needs, while dying on the inside.

You push yourself to move on.

You go out with this guy; have dinner with that guy.

They're all nice guys but who wants the nice guy when you've met the right guy.

It's as if your life is on autopilot.

Sleep. Eat. School. Eat. Study. Work. School. Sleep.

You do as your told. You follow the rules of exes.

No communication.

That's what you need. You'll move on one day.

But the hope is still there.

It hangs over you and you cling onto it as if you're fighting for air.

However, with time, you slowly start to forget.

The sound of his voice is fainted in your head.

You can't remember his appearance without a photo.

That thing everyone told you what happens starts to work its magic.

You're moving on.

You start to find pleasure in new things.

But you still have that reminder in the back of your head that you lost someone you loved and the hole in your heart continues to bleed.

Rumors begin to spread

"God, she's so crazy."

"I hear she still writes about him in her diary."

"She's a stalker."

"I don't know what he ever saw in her."

"He deserves better."

He is infuriated.

He hears the rumors.

People you once loved, betray you.

They feed the frenzy.

He doesn't even give you the chance to fight.

He wants nothing to do with you.

You lost him.

Again.

And you're left alone.

Again.

You look back sometimes and you want to chuckle to yourself.

You listened to everyone but yourself.

You should have fought when your heart told you to fought.

You should have stopped when your heart told you to stop.

You should have loved when your heart told you to love.

But you let everyone and everything get in the way.

You've lost any chance of re-gaining a tiny piece of your heart that at one point made you the happiest girl in the world.

It wasn't about being with him again.

It was about having that person you cared about around.

It was about knowing you're not alone in this world because someone understands you.

It was about knowing that love truly did exist – whether in the past or the present or the future.

You've learned one miserable lesson through it all.

People suck.