Barbra Jean

"You know you have to talk to them about this. You and I both know this. They have a right to know." I nodded reluctantly, fighting back burning tears. I've been in therapy for about a year now. Dr. Cole was helping me but I really didn't care for the man, especially not at this given moment. Brock and I are getting a divorce. It's official this time with no going back. And it absolutely kills me. The way my life's turned out is the complete opposite of how it was suppose to. For that, I only have myself to blame. "Barbra Jean? What's going through your head right now?" I looked over at him. He had his legs crossed tapping his pencil on his notebook as he studied my face. I knew he was trying to read me for sure. I let out a sigh.

"The way everything's turned out. Nothing like it should've."

"And how should it have?" I rolled my eyes.

"I've told you a thousand times already."

"Tell me again." I let out a sigh and leaned back on the couch.

"After I got pregnant Brock would marry me, we'd have OUR happy family, Reba would forgive me and we'd be friends, and everything would stay that way." He nodded knowingly.

"I see." He was quiet. I just looked out the window down at the cars rushing by. It was all so simple. They all had some place to be, just like I use to be. "You don't want to tell them do you?" I looked up at him blankly. He just waited quietly.

"Why would I? I've been able to keep it a secret for nearly 10 years. What would make me want to tell my best friend and husband I've been lying to them all this time?" he nodded again. I let out a breath and just looked back out the window at nothing.

"You started both of those relationships on lies. Meaning the foundation of everything you have is lies. How long did you think you could keep it strong and your head above water with this?" I didn't move or blink. I felt like a stone. Just sitting there trying to answer the question for myself. "Barbra Jean, can you answer that?" I shook my head no.

"It was just supposed to stay that way." I could see a young mother walking her baby in a stroller. It reminded me of Henry and me years ago. I smiled.

"So what are you going to do now that your plans have fallen through?" I turned my head enough to look at him.

"I seem to be paying you a whole lot of money for you to ask me stupid questions."

"That's what I'm here for. Pointing out the things you choose not to see." I shook me head and sighed.

"I guess I'm gonna tell them."

Reba

"Jake, I told you I'd be ready in a second!" I yelled, scrambling around the kitchen.

"I have to be at Steve's in 10 minutes mom! He lives 15 minutes away!" I rolled my eyes and threw the scorching hot pan from dinner into the sink water to wash later. It sizzled and steamed in the water.

"Jake, get in the car!" I yelled. He came storming into the kitchen and outside.

"Bout time." I let out an angry sigh and rolled my eyes.

"Bout time I tan your hide I think!" he rolled his eyes and slammed the car door.

"We're gonna be late. Thanks a lot mom." I clenched my teeth.

"Well if you had helped me clean up dinner you wouldn't be now would you?"

"You didn't ask me too." My knuckles went white on the steering wheel.

"I shouldn't have to Jake, you're 15 years old; you should have anyways."

"Whatever mom." I angrily slowed down and pulled over on the side of the road. "What are you doing mom?" he said in angry surprise. I turned towards him with more anger than he could've ever guessed.

"All righty, now cut the attitude little man. I'm your mother and you will NOT talk to me like this. And do you know what? I'm starting to wonder if I should let you go to Steve's at all." His eyes popped and his jaw dropped.

"Mom!" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Give me one good reason why I should let you go."

"It's his birthday! His dad wants me to help set up the stereo system!" I shrugged again.

"Doesn't affect me now does it? Not good enough. Come on Jake, you're a smart boy, you can't come up with anything better than that?" he scoffed; then got desperate like I knew he would.

"Please mom? I'll do anything!" I smiled.

"Okay. You can go." He smiled and relief washed over his teenage face. "On some conditions." My smile grew. He sank into his seat with a sigh, tempted to roll his eyes but knowing better. I held up fingers in counting the conditions. "Number one, attitude ends now. Number two, you're gonna show me respect. And number three, you're gonna pick up your end of the household chores. No more putting it off and I'm done playing nice mom. The wardens been on break, but she's back refreshed with a vengeance. Understand me?" he clenched his jaw just like I do. He takes so much after me. I softened some knowing exactly what he felt and thought.

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. Now let's get you to that party."

45 minutes later

I came into the kitchen and hung up my purse with a sigh. My head was spinning from the encounter in the car.

"There you are Reba! It's about time!" Brock said coming into the kitchen just as irritated as Jake had earlier. I looked up like I was trying to face God. I let out a laugh. I'm a humor target for you aren't I? I rolled my eyes at Brock impatiently standing there.

"Well at least I know Jake takes after more than me." I walked over and set my keys on the counter. Brock gave me a weird look.

"What are you talking about?" I rolled my eyes as I got a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"Our son is what I'm talking about Brock. He takes after me so much I was worried I may have been the only who gave him genes in the womb." I leaned against the stove and looked at my dumbfounded ex husband. I could tell there was something serious he wanted to talk to me about. Something was wrong. I set my water on the counter beside me and crossed my arms looking directly at Brock. "Okay, something's wrong. What do you need?" he sighed.

"I have something kind of… difficult to talk to you about." I raised an eyebrow. Something was really off about him. It made me worried. He sighed again and sat on one of the chairs at the counter. "I told you about how Barbra Jean and I have decided to go through with the divorce a while ago right?"

"Yeah, both of you had dropped by at different times to talk to me about it." He nodded. "Are you thinking about reconsidering it now? You know it's not to late." He made a face and ran a hand over it.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about." He leaned back and looked at the ceiling. "I don't. I actually want it to end now. But I feel like I shouldn't want it to end." I nodded.

"Maybe you're just worn out from all the ups and downs all the time. Maybe this is what's needed here Brock. Hard as it is to say." He looked at me with bout sorrow and frustration. I felt horrible for him. He was my best friend and he was hurting. I hated it so much. I wanted to help him but wasn't sure how I could.

"I know, but it's so different this time around Reba, when we got divorced, I reconsidered it everyday until there was no going back. This time I don't even care that it's ending." I flinched inside at the mention of our divorce. I never knew he reconsidered it once, I thought I was the only one who reconsidered it. I reconsidered it every waking moment. I shook the thoughts away. We've been past this to long to take me over again. Even if inside I was still raw from it.

"Brock, I wish I knew how to fix this for you. I really do. But to be perfectly honest Brock, I don't know what to tell you." He held my gaze. He stayed quiet for a while.

"Ya know, I've talked to Barbra Jean. I know how she feels and what she wants. But I just now realized I never once talked to you. I never knew what you wanted or felt. I just up and left. The only time I ever even had a glimpse of anything was the night of the big fight when I left." He stopped, keeping his eyes locked on mine. "I know this is about 9 years too late, but so, what did you feel? What did you want for us?" I raised an eyebrow. My stomach twisted and my heart sank. I bit the inside of my lip and stared him in the eye. I can't tell you. I can never tell Brock. "Please? I don't mean anything by it Reba. Just trying to make a few wrongs right. Just as a friend." I let out a sigh and looked at the floor. Swallowing my pride.

"I hated it." I looked back up at him. "I loved you. I didn't want you to go, I didn't want to let you go. Letting you go was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I wanted us to make it more than anything. I wanted to be with you forever and watch our family grow together." We just held each others eyes for a long moment. Then I spoke again realizing I gave to much insight with the few words I did reveal to him. "But I let you leave. I figured out how to live without you, and I made it through it all."

"I'm sorry Reba. I was so wrong and stupid." I looked down again. It was way too uncomfortable. I stood up straight .

"So did Kyra tell you about her big show tonight?" I asked not looking at him. I drained the cold dirty dish water from the sink and ran new water.

"Yeah she did. She told me she'd be back in a few days." I glanced up at him and saw something out of place in his eyes. I looked down at my hands in the soapy water.

"She called me today. She said they've been offered a job opening for some band I've never heard of. She seemed excited." I felt very uneasy. Brock must've felt the change in the air.

"Are you okay Reba?" I looked up at him. Nervous questioning replaced that look that was in his eyes. I relaxed a little bit. Why was I so uneasy? We've talked about the divorce before. Just not like that.

"I'm fine. Why are you asking me that?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I've known you for just over 30 years. I upset you."

"No you didn't upset me, you just…" he gave me a look that told me he already knew what made me uncomfortable. I let out a sigh and drained the dirty water.

"I'm sorry Reba; I shouldn't have asked you that. It was personal. I won't go there again, I promise. We still okay?" I laughed and dried my hands. He came around the counter and pulled me into a hug. We stayed like that for a long moment. But just as friends. There was nothing between us to make things weird anymore. We pulled apart, breaking all contact.

"Of course we're okay Brock. You're my best friend. Nothing you could say, no matter how bone headed, can change that." I smiled. He locked his eyes on mine. His smile was pure relief.

"I'm glad, cause you're my best friend too."