A/N: I wrote this up a few weeks ago and thought I'd finally post it. Hope you enjoy!

Bring Your Nick To Work Day

It's career week at school and Jess had it all set up for Sadie to come to her class and talk about her work as an OBGYN. They'd talked extensively about what the presentation would be about and Jess had even thrown out a few suggestions for visuals. At the last minute, though, Sadie calls and cancels.

"I can't come in, Jess."

"What? But Sadie, we had the whole thing planned! We had the diagrams and that little jingle to the tune of She'll Be Comin' Down the Mountain. The baby'll be comin' down the birth canal real soon…real soon!"

"Jess, I'm really sorry but one of my patients just went into labor. I have no choice."

"I guess delivering a baby does trump career week," Jess says glumly. "Alright, I'll just have to figure something else out."

"I really am sorry, Jess."

Jess takes a deep breath and says, "No, it's fine. Really. It's perfectly fine. You go deliver that baby."

Jess hangs up and tries to think of anyone else that she can rope into helping with career week. Her first instinct would be to call Cece, but she's in Europe for a few days on a modeling gig. Winston and Schmidt are both at work, and she doesn't really know if she would trust them in front of a group of kids, either. She remembers Nick sprawled out on the couch when she left that morning and pulls her phone out of her pocket and scrolls down to his number.

"Hello?"

"Nick, I need you to do me a favor. We have career week here at school and Sadie was supposed to come and talk, but she has to deliver a baby. And I really need someone here to talk to my kids."

"No."

"Nick, come on!" she begs.

"You want the bartender to come and talk to your kids? Really Jess? Take a minute to think about that and then tell me if you still want me to come."

Jess pauses for about half a second and says, "Yep. Still want you to come."

"I'm not equipped to talk to children, Jess. They scare me with their little hands and soulful eyes. Have you noticed that? Their eyes? They see everything, Jess. They see everything."

"If you come, I promise to not sing in the apartment for a month," Jess offers.

"Don't try to bait me with promises you can't keep."

"Fine," she says, groaning. "If you come…I promise to not watch any chick flicks or inspirational movies like Free Willy for one month."

Nick is silent and she knows he's considering it. She crosses her fingers, hoping she'll get a bite.

"Fine, I'll do it," Nick says.

"Yes! You will not regret this!"

"Under one condition," Nick says loudly over her exuberant celebration of his accepting her offer. "You are also not allowed to listen to any musical soundtracks for one month."

She pauses before saying, "Okay. No musicals for a month, either."

"Now, where's this school of yours?"

She gives him the directions quickly and then adds, "Do you think you could maybe wear a button up? You know, something a little more…"

"Don't push your luck, Jess."

"Alright," she says quickly. "Sweatshirt and jeans it is."


"You look very nice," Jess tells Nick, standing with him at the front of the classroom they wait for the kids to begin to shuffle in. "Is that a new tshirt?"

"Don't mock me."

"Sorry, I'm not mocking," she assures him. "It looks nice and soft. It's also different from what you were wearing earlier."

"What, you thought I'd come in what I slept in? Come on, Jess. I have some standards."

She grins and he asks her, "So, what do I have to say again?"

"I told you, just talk about your job."

"As a bartender," he says. "You want me to talk to a bunch of fourth graders about being a bartender? This is going to be a disaster."

She reaches up and puts her hands on his shoulders. "No, this is going to be great. They're gonna love you. Just, don't mention alcohol. I could get in trouble with the people in the big office for that."

Nick gapes at her and says, "You don't want me to mention alcohol when talking about my bartending job?"

"Yeah."

"You gotta be kidding me."

"It's not that bad! You can talk about all the interesting people you've met. And, um, the sharpening of your hand-eye-coordination."

"This is going to be a disaster," he repeats.

When the class is assembled, Jess walks out to the front of the classroom and says, "Hey guys, I have someone really special to start off class with today. I'd like to introduce you all to my good friend Nick Miller. He's going to tell you all about his super fun job as a bartender. You guys are excited about that, right?"

There is a chorus of excited agreement from the students and Jess gestures for Nick to join her. He swallows hard and walks to the front of the classroom, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"Why don't you start off by telling them a bit about what you do," Jess suggests, smiling at him reassuringly. He nods, turning toward the students.

"Sure. Well, um, I'm a bartender. I, uh, serve drinks – all sorts of drinks – to people." He glances back at Jess and she mimes talking with her hands. "Oh, and I meet a lot of cool people. Really cool people. And…oh wow, a question already?"

A little girl in the front row has her hand up, and Nick nods toward her and says, "Go ahead."

"Are you Ms. Day's boyfriend?"

"What? No. I am not Ms. Day's boyfriend. Definitely not."

"Why not?" the little girl asks.

"Jess – Ms. Day, I mean – we're just friends. Well, we're roommates too, actually, but-"

From the back of the room a little boy pipes in, "If you're not Ms. Day's boyfriend, then why are you roommates?"

"Uh…" he glances back at Jess for some help and she steps forward and says, "How about we keep the questions to ones about Nick's job?"

Another student raises their hand and says, "My dad says only sad and lonely people are bartenders. Are you sad and lonely?"

Jess winces and murmurs, "Oh boy."


When the chorus of questions concludes, Jess lets the students have a bathroom break and walks over to Nick, who looks like he just weathered one terrible storm.

"I feel drained," he says, eyes focused on something just to the right of her face. "I feel both physically and emotionally drained."

"I'm sorry," she says. "I had no idea the questions would be like that."

"I didn't think it was possible to be verbally pummeled by nine year olds."

"If it makes you feel any better, my class is very advanced for its age."

Nick considers it for a moment and says, "Yeah, not really helping me."

"Are you alright?"

He nods. "Yeah. I think I'm just going to head home and drink some of that word-I'm-not-supposed-to-say-here."

She pats his arm and says, "Alright. You do that. Thank you for helping me, though. I really appreciate it."

"No problem," he says. "I'll really appreciate a month without Blossom and musicals, too."


"You asked Nick to talk about his job for career week?" Schmidt asks incredulously, sitting at the dinner table that night as they all eat their bowls of ramen noodle. "What in the world would possess you to ask a bartender to counsel impressionable young minds about the world of employment? Honestly, Jess, sometimes you legitimately worry me."

"I was sort of short on options," Jess says. "And besides, Nick did fine."

"Fine?" Schmidt says, making a disgruntled noise. "The future leaders of our country deserve better than fine."

"What was I supposed to do Schmidt?"

"You could have called me. I would have been a wonderful speaker for career week."

"Oh, you mean for the job where they objectify you on a daily basis and have you dress up as Sexy Santa?" Nick says, taking a swig of his beer. "Sounds like what every young person should be aspire to be."

"You're no one to talk, Nick. You're not even wearing real pants."

"Sweatpants are pants," Nick says, voice rising. "It literally has the word pants in its name."

"Can we just stop talking about this," Winston says. "And realize that I would have been the perfect choice?"

"Winston, don't be ridiculous," Schmidt says dismissively. "Those kids probably don't even know where Latvia is in the first place."

"I mean about my radio job," Winston says. "I'm living the dreams, my friends. Living the dream."

"Living the dream? You just woke up an hour ago," Nick says.

"Well, yeah, because I leave for work in twenty minutes," Winston says. "But that doesn't mean I'm not living the dream. The dream doesn't know morning from night."

"Alright guys, it's over," Jess says. "Today was the only day I needed someone to fill in for career week, and Nick filled in. End of story. And he did just fine – except for him confusing the kids into thinking that I was first dating him and then that I was dating all three of you simultaneously – but other than that, he did fine. So, can we just eat our ramen in peace?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Winston grumbles as Schmidt says, "I suppose I can manage that."

Jess grins, taking a cleansing breath. "Good. Thank you, boys."

A/N: Please provide feedback if you enjoyed this. I'm considering making this a collection of pieces revolving around Nick and Jess.