A/N: Just another Thaluke fanfiction of mine. This is my first time to try to be humorous, hope that it succeeds.

Now, I have no experience in love whatsoever, so you may find some part...stupid. But please, bear with me.

Stupid question time: Thalia is pronounced Ta-lee-ah or Tha-lee-ah?

Disclaimer: I do not own PJO.


I slide my hands into my pants' pockets, and then put one right up my mouth to cover the yawn. Thalia and I have somehow managed to gather enough money for a trip to the grocery store. And now I have to wait while Thalia goes inside and buys the supplies.

Trying to suppress another yawn, I drift my eyes to the side. There's a racket full of magazines near my side. One of the magazines catches my eyes almost immediately.

The magazine's name is Boys. There is a handsome guy holding hand with a girl just as pretty on its cover. But what really interests me is the title – how to make your crush notice you.

Looking around to make sure that I'm alone, I open the magazine and glue my eyes in it.

First, before you make the target notice you, you have to know who your target is, it says.

These are four simple questions to know if she's really the one:

1. Does your heart race whenever she smiles at you?

Well, not really. We have traveled with each other for a while now, and I have got used to her smiling at me long time ago. I have to admit that she has a nice smile, though. I like how her lips curve up, showing glimpse of her cute little white teeth, or how her eyes shine like a bright star that sends warmth from my head to toes…

No, Luke. Get a grip.

2. Do you unconsciously watch her when she doesn't notice?

We always have to watch out for each other, so it's absolutely normal for me to watch her every movement, even in her sleep. Watching her sleeping face always eases me up, as if just by seeing it, I know everything's gonna be alright. I'll never admit it. Never.

So, yeah, watch out for each other is normal to me. Perfectly normal.

3. Do you feel irritated when a boy gets close to her?

There's one time when I had to steal food from the store, I came out just to see a guy flirting with Thalia. Normally, she would chase the guy away with her deadly glare. But this particular guy was wearing a black leather jacket and emitted an obvious bad boy vibe. Just her type.

However, I didn't get angry. Okay, I might have stood between her and the guy, yelled at him to back off and started a huge fight that resulted in a whole week of black eye and leg limping. But that doesn't mean I was jealous, right?

4. Do you ever look at her lips and wonder what they taste like?

What? Of course no. That's ridiculous. Okay, maybe once. Or twice. Or all the time.

But who could blame me? Her lips look soft and pink and when she pouts, I just can't help thinking…I bet they taste like strawberry…

I quickly cover my head into the magazine to hide the heat that is creeping into my face.

Oh my gods. I do have a crush on Thalia Grace.

I try to calm down after the realization. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. I can feel the heat leaving my face. My trembling hand slowly turns the page.

Now, you have to know what position you are in her heart. If she doesn't even know about your existence, then you have a chance to make the first impression. (Turn to page 6)

If you're her friend, then give up. You're friendzoned. The chance of you getting out of the friendzone is 0.1%. Out of 100%. So give it up already. (But if you don't want to give up just yet, turn to page 8)

If your crush has already had a boyfriend, wait in eternity or find a new crush.

I turn to page 8 grumpily. Friendzone? What in Hades is that? I'll make the impossible possible.

"Luke? What are you doing over there?"

Her voice startles me. I quickly rip off the page, put it in my pocket and throw the magazine away.

"Nothing."

I have just made a list of what to do for you to be my girlfriend. That's all.


Lying on the ground, I take the paper out. It's a little crumpled, but still readable.

1. Wear what she would like. You may be wondering why, as she has already known your style. But it is exactly because she knows that you should change into her style.

Easy. Black and leather. Rock and roll.

But where can I get those?

The small stores probably don't have what I need, so I'll have to go for the big ones. I don't have enough money, obviously. But steal from those big stores is not an easy task, even for a child of Hermes. The security is much tighter, there's camera everywhere, and some even have guards.

There's a big clothes store right across the street, and it has everything I need and hate. Black and leather. Cameras and guards.

If I try, I can shut the cameras down. However, the guards cannot be left aside. What seems to be easy (for me) is twice harder with them.

Normally, I can ask Thalia for a distraction. But you're doing this for her, how can you pull her into this mess? A voice in my head says.

I need a plan. A plan worthy of even Athena.


The store seems to have only one guard. After watching him for 2 days (without making Thalia suspicious), I find out that he always drinks a cup of coffee before patrol. So the plan is that I will put some cathartic into his coffee, then disable the alarm and steal the clothes while he's suffering in the toilet.


I'm hiding right below the window of the guard booth, the cathartic in my pocket. When he turns around, his back facing my direction, I grasp the chance and pour the medicine into his coffee. Then I run silently and hide in the darkness, watching him closely. He takes the cup up, but right before it reaches his mouth, he stops. He sniffs the coffee, makes a face and pours all the coffee away.

Shit! I curse in my head.

There must have been something wrong with the coffee, or maybe the medicine gave off weird smell. While I'm considering what to do, a sudden sound breaks off the silence, providing the distraction I need. I grab the chance and professionally disable the alarm. Without checking, I just take anything look black and leather to me. A jacket, a shirt and a pair of jeans.

Black and leather. Check.


I have no idea what to do next. Wear the clothes and just stand in front of her sounds awkward. So I decide to look through step 2.

2. After wearing her favorite, she may find it weird. So act natural. Especially when talking. Girls like smooth guys. Use some jokes, make her laugh. Even use pick up line if necessary.

Wearing the clothes, I have to roll up the jeans as they're two sized bigger. I splash some water on my hair and try to do my hair up, as I look cooler that way.

I stand in front of Thalia shyly, feeling a little proud at her shocked expression.

Swallow hard, I say.

"Hey, have you ever been struck by lightning? 'Cause I certainly did when our eyes met."

My index fingers make a kind of gun for some effect.

Thalia raises an eyebrow.

"Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?"

Her expression remains the same.

This is not working. This is not working.

"I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way."

She purses her lips tightly, though I think they tremble a little.

"Um…you're as beautiful as Aphrodite and as smart as Athena…?"

Her mouth twitches. And before I manage to register, she's laughing like there's no tomorrow, hand holding her stomach.

"Oh. My. Gods. Luke. What-What are you trying to do? That's so lame!"

Well, she did laugh. So it succeeded, right?

Make her laugh. Check.


3. Give her a present. Since you're her friend already, you know what she likes. Still, get something unforgettable. Remember, you're still in the friendzone.

Unforgettable? It must be impressive then. So I cannot just give her a cheeseburger (even if it's double cheese) or some black earrings. No, something big and romantic.

I'm so lost in thoughts that I don't notice where I am going and consequently bump into somebody.

"Ah, sorry." I say hastily.

But the man doesn't walk away like I expect. He takes my wrist and puts something in my hand. It's two tickets for Green Day tonight concert. When I finally recover from my shock and look up to thank the man, he's already gone.

I am too happy to question the man's motive. All I can think of is how to give these to Thalia. After contemplating, I decide to make it a surprise.

"Thals! Hey, Thals!"

"Wha – Where are we going?"

I pull Thalia towards the bus station with a wide smile.

"Just wait and see, Thals."


When we get off the bus, it has already been dark, but I still make Thalia wear a blindfold, just in case.

"This had better be good, Luke." Say Thalia in an annoying voice.

"It will be awesome, I guarantee."

I take her hand and slowly lead her to the dome where the concert is held.

The moment I take the blindfold off, the concert starts. It feels as if the whole dome has just exploded with all the rock music and fan screaming. Her face soon covers in awe, the lights on the stage reflected in her eyes.

"Isn't it awesome?" I shout through the noise. She turns and looks at me with the widest glint in her eyes. My heart stops beating for a moment when her lips meet mine.

They do taste like strawberry.


Bonus part:

A man looks down at the scene and smiles.

"No need to thank me, son."

Then sighs.

"I should probable shut down that magazine, what kind of advices are those…."

And murmurs.

"I'll have a lot to explain to Father, though…."


A/N: So, how is it? Good enough?

I have a lot of ideas for Thaluke right now. But I'll have to wait after the exam to write them. Ugh, I hate finals.