I'm sick and feeling a bit silly today. It caused me to think about what would happen if a fangirl was released on the Harry Potter world, after having finished the books, read different fanfictions, and watched the musicals. Hence, the Guide of What NOT to Do at Hogwarts: For Fangirls. :)

Disclaimer: Hogwarts and all it's lovelies are not my own. They belong to JK Rowling. Who completely encourages fanfictions, as I learned today. That woman is just a complete heap of awesome!


Rule Number 1: I will not place trampolines along the outside walls of Hogwarts just to be on the safe side.

"Place that big one right here!"

Severus Snape had been out collecting potion supplies in the Forbidden Forest and was now on his way back to the castle when he heard a female voice shouting out.

"Place those two smaller ones in those two inner corners there!"

Looking around, he saw a woman… no, a girl… directing about 3 or 4 men as they moved things around. Just what they were moving, he couldn't tell. Walking closer, he saw that they were moving what appeared to be round platforms with a black see-through center. The girl, he noted, had red hair and was a little… plump. She was clearly not someone used to exercise, as already she appeared a little out of breath. Granted, she was shouting a lot, Snape thought. It's a wonder no one from inside had noticed her yet.

Becoming annoyed as he realized that the girl was having the men put the strange items around the outside of the castle and that about two dozen of them appeared to already have been placed, he walked up to her.

"And just what do you think you are doing?" he growled from behind the girl.

Whipping around, her red hair flying, she looked at him with her mouth open. And then… she smiled at him. He had growled at her and was wearing a scowl. He was no one to be smiled at!

"Oh, don't get jealous Professor Snape, I'll take care of you next."

Caught off balance by this stranger knowing his name, it took him a minute to process what she had said. "Take care of me next? Are you threatening me?! Tell me what you are doing this instant, before I contact the Headmaster and floo call the Aurors!"

The men had stopped working and were just staring between him and the girl. He was furious looking, his jaw was clenched tight and he had balled his hands into fists. She, on the other hand, just stood there and smiled. She was acting like his reaction was completely expected and possibly endearing, he thought. It was completely infuriating!

"I'm doing this for the Headmaster. Just in case, you know." And with another smile and a wink, she turned her back to him and continued to direct the men around.

Flabbergasted, Severus continued his journey to the castle, deciding right away that he would go inform the Headmaster of the strange and unwelcomed girl. Perhaps she was telling the truth and acting on the Headmaster's orders, or it was more likely she was lying just to get him to leave. 'Well, it worked then. But not for long' he thought.

The last thing he heard before the castle doors closed behind him was the girl instructing the men to "move the extra-large trampoline directly under this tower". Shaking his head, he wondered what the heck a "trampoline" was.


I realize my characters will be a bit OOC. For example, I cannot see Severus just letting the girl continue her work but, in my story... he's not quite sure what to do.