Moving On

Written By: FantasyFanatic08

Summary: Nyota is trying to get over her break up with Spock. Kirk helps her out a little. One-Shot. Friendship/Pre-K/U

A/N: Yes, so now that I am almost done with "Daddies' Dearests", (I have some of the second chapter written out, but it's getting longer than I originally planned) I now devote some time to K/U. Besides, we really need some more of them on this site, cuz we're dangerously low on them, but the ones we do have are outstanding. Boo-yah! ^_^

Disclaimer: Star. Trek. Not. Mine.


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It breaks your heart to see the one you love is happy
with someone else, but it's more painful to know that
the one you love is unhappy with you.

~ Unknown ~

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Four months, two weeks, and six days. That's how long it took for Nyota to see that things weren't going to work out. And she knew that if there had been fault to be laid on anyone, it was her. Not to be so dramatic or critical of herself, but she knew the real reason when she saw it.

And it had been a long time coming, she knew that. Denied it the best way she could, too. She figured it out like this; she was smart, strong, independent, and wasn't the most flagrant or showy with her emotions. Yeah, maybe she could get snappy or downright cruel when she wanted to, but she was human, was she not? And for all the intent in the world, she'd tried to be what he wanted.

Too bad no matter how much she tried, she couldn't be what he needed.

Truthfully, that was what it came down to in the end, though, wasn't it? What was needed? And Nyota needed Spock to be happy. How could he do that with the weight and duty of trying to help his people bring about their species, if he was tied down to her? Of course, Spock never complained or made her think that was the case, but along with understanding spoken languages, she was pretty damn good at reading unspoken ones.

Duty and honor was very important to Spock; and Nyota cared for him enough to know not to come between that. So she did the most honorable, unselfish, loveable…horrible and painful thing she could think of.

She broke up with him. And hurt it did, because while their relationship never progressed to anything consisting of sexual intimacy (Spock was kind of old-fashioned, and traditional), there had been something there.

Well, that was gone, now. Nyota rubbed absent-mindedly at her chest, trying to ignore the dull ache that had settled there. She turned her attention to the noise around her, willing to lose her focus on her own problems, and to be distracted by something else.

Anything.

Almost as if he had read her mind, the familiar form of one James Kirk sagged into the bar seat next to her. She was secretly happy for the distraction, but partly wished it had been someone else. Was he here to gloat? Tease?

Nyota knew that if there was anyone on board the Enterprise that was frequently in the know of her relationship with Spock, it was Jim. The man was a nosy bastard.

At the random thought, Nyota almost choked on her drink with suppressed laughter, before taking a deep breath. She spared Jim only a brief glance, before looking back down on her glass, watching as her fingers slowly ran over the glass. She waited for Jim's condescending remarks.

She was surprised, after about a minute, when none came. Confused, she looked over at him. He was leaning both his arms on the bar before him, and he was just…looking at her. Not staring in that creepy, leering look she'd seen him give random girls (and a few guys too, but who cared about that anymore?), but with genuine concern. Nyota noticed that his eyes were a much lighter blue than she originally thought…or maybe it was the lights of the bar?

Nyota tried to give Jim a smile, or something, to let him know she was fine. But her lip barely twitched, and she found herself devoid of any energy to do so. She and Spock had separated nearly two months ago, and she was still hurting from it. Pathetic.

"You know, I find it pretty strange for such a beautiful lady to be spending her time in a bar filled with losers and wanna-be's when she could be doing something else." Jim said conversationally, and then waved at the bartender to give him a drink. Jim pointed at the vodka on the wall, and then the bartender nodded, getting out a glass. Nyota frowned. Dammit, he'd better not be trying to get her to sleep with him. She didn't care if he was her Commanding Officer; she'd sooner slap the taste out his mouth than lay with him.

"Yes, well, this is the 'something else' I'd rather be doing." She said stiffly, not looking at him. "And I'd rather be doing it alone."

It seemed Jim wasn't taking a hint, whether purposely or he was just too dense. But Nyota had to reluctantly admit that it must've been the former, because regardless of the persona James Kirk put out, he was a very intelligent man. That was one of the few things Nyota found she admired about him.

Not that she'd tell him that in a million years.

"Well," Jim said, sounding as if he were weighing her answer. He didn't sound the least bit daunted at her rebuff. "I guess you can do that too. Hope you don't mind my company; I find I like spending my time with beautiful ladies."

He shot her a smile, and Nyota was hard-pressed not to smile back. Maybe if she was cold enough, he'd finally get the message and leave. But if he left, he took his distraction with him, so…

"Well, it sure isn't hard to please you then." Nyota mused, deciding that talking to him shouldn't be too bad. It could be worse, and she could be alone. Might as well take advantage of his company while she had it.

"Yes, well, I am quite simple. Give me a pretty girl, a space ship, and I'm good." Jim said, and Nyota rolled her eyes at him.

"Nevermind; I spoke too soon," she joked, taking another sip of her drink. The bartender came over and slid Jim his drink, and the blonde man nodded his appreciation, before returning his attention to the woman next to him. He studied her in a moment of silence.

"I'm sorry you have to suffer." He suddenly said. Her eyebrows shooting up, Nyota turned to look at her captain.

"W-what?" she choked. She couldn't have heard him correctly.

"I'm sorry." Jim repeated; only he left out the rest, and Nyota was left with enough curiosity to want know more.

"About what?" she said, her voice low. She tried to prepare herself to giving him a tongue lashing.

Jim had the good graces to look her straight in the eyes, and she could see he was entirely sincere. That startled her.

"I'm sorry that you have to suffer because of doing the right thing."

Nyota frowned.

"What do you mean, 'the right thing'? Are you saying that I wasn't good enough for him to begin with?" Anger flared within her, and she itched to hit something. The 'something' being his face.

Jim grunted, and sat up straighter in his chair. His faced turned very serious, and Nyota had to resist the urge to suck in her breath. This was his Captain's face, though he wasn't acting as her captain at the moment, and she found herself automatically straightening herself up in response, as if to respond to an order.

"Why does your mind go straight to the negative?" Jim said. "I am not implying anything of the sort. I can see that you loved him, but you wouldn't allow your feelings to blind you to his loyalty to his people."

She felt her mouth go dry at his words. How had he known? How? She'd just assumed that Jim would think they broke up because of irreconcilable differences, and leave it at that. How the hell did he know all of this?

"How…?" she tried to ask, but found the construction in her throat was making it difficult to get any words out.

Jim seemed to understand her well enough, even without the words.

"Because I may be a prick at times," (Nyota couldn't help the snort that escaped her at those words, and Jim blatantly ignored it.) "But I know when someone loves someone, and I'd like to believe I know you well enough after all this time. And to think; you loved him enough to let him go,"

Jim turned his eyes back to Nyota, gauging her reaction. Nyota felt strangely lightheaded, and wondered if this was really happening. If she was really here, with James of all people, (she mentally thought of him as "James", because only people really close to him referred to him as "Jim"), and he was trying to cheer her up.

Nyota shrugged, finally done with her drink, and pushed the glass away from her. She turned halfway in her chair to face Jim.

"So what? I loved him, didn't work out. Big deal. I'm a big girl, I can handle it. It won't affect my work, if that's what you're worried about." Nyota told him. She watched as his face suddenly went blank. Even the light in his eyes flashed out, and she fought the urge to shiver at the cold blankness left behind.

"I am not merely worried about your work performance, Nyota." The way her name slipped from his tongue made her pause. He was being very serious at the moment, and she didn't bother to tell him not to call her by her first name. "I am also worried about your well being. I am worried about you."

Nyota snorted again. "Right." She said contemptuously. "I'll believe it when I see it," she muttered, more to herself than him. Unfortunately, he seemed to have heard her.

Jim swallowed the last of his vodka, before slamming the glass down onto the bar.

"C'mon," he urged. Nyota frowned at him.

"C'mon where?" she asked suspiciously. Jim rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Outside for some fresh air; this place is obviously messing with your head." He told her, and without waiting to see if she would follow, got up and left. Nyota watched him leave.

The nerve of him, thinking I'll just follow, Nyota thought, getting to her feet and doing just that. She passed the people in the bar, having to side step a few who were so drunk that they obviously couldn't walk three feet without falling over, and made her way outside, to the large parking lot that was only partially full with vehicles. Out near the long winding road at the edge to the far right of the parking lot, was Jim. He stood with his back to the bar, and his head tilted upwards to the night sky, which was black like ink, only interrupted by the thousands of twinkling stars dotting across the expanse.

Nyota felt something twist in her gut as she looked at him. It was like he was in his own faraway place, even while here, in this place. He seemed unreachable. Untouchable.

She made her way over to him, and once she was standing next to him, she gave him a glance. His face was relaxed, and open.

"Sometimes," he said suddenly, after a few minutes of them standing there quietly. "We think that the only thing that makes life easier is if we have someone to share it with. And we'd do anything to keep them with us, 'cuz we get a sense of purpose from them. It's really hard to leave them, even if you know it's the right thing."

"Oh, what are you? A life guru now?" Nyota quipped. Jim just shot her a patient look, and a bit of guilt filled her at her words. She couldn't help it; something about him made her speak without thinking sometimes. And then again, his presence usually made her unable to concentrate, which was why it irked her so; why couldn't she keep her sense of self-control around him?

"No," Jim answered her, his voice amused. He returned to staring up at the sky. "I am simply someone who's had plenty of chances to get things right, and I screw 'em up. I have met plenty of people that I would have enjoyed developing further relationships with; but for one reason or another, I had to give them up."

He turned to look at Nyota.

"That makes us somewhat similar. But you…you invested time into the relationship you had with Spock. And it's only natural you would be like this so soon after the break up."

Nyota fidgeted uncomfortably from his words. He was hitting too close to home.

"But that's the beauty of being human," Jim continued. At Nyota's blank look, he elaborated. "We bounce back." He said. "You take one thing from us, we'll eventually find another, more meaningful to take it's place. And you're worth it. You'll find someone else who will be able to cherish you in the way you deserve, and then you'll be able to think back on what you had with no more pain or regrets. That's life."

Nyota felt the urge to throw her arms around Jim's neck, but she refrained. Instead, she gave him a grateful smile.

"Oh?" she said playfully. "And what if I already have my eyes set on someone else?"

Jim raised an eyebrow. "He'd better treat you like the queen you are or I'll kill him." He said simply, and even though he was possibly joking, his statement left Nyota breathless. It was funny when she put it all into perspective, though. Three years and five months ago, he'd been hitting on her in a bar. And all those years at the academy, he'd never let up pursuing her. And now, after their academy days, the events with Nero, and working under his command recently, she'd come to unconsciously realize he had matured greatly over that time, and while he'd left her alone after realizing she was with Spock, but always making sure she was well taken care of...

It was she who was stuck in the past. They'd all changed over time; including her and Jim. Apparently, his affection towards her hadn't. It was kind of reassuring, in a humbling and appreciative way.

"Well," Nyota retorted, her voice a bit shaky. "I'll just have to search hard for that someone else who meets your standards, huh?"

"Yup," Jim said softly. His eyes were shining brilliantly now.

"Any suggestions on where to start?" she asked, not knowing why she was starting to feel hopeful. Jim smiled and leaned close to her, his eyes smoldering.

Nyota held her breath, and her body tensed in anticipation.

"Let's just say he may be closer than you think." He whispered, and then pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. A soft sigh escaped her at the feel of his warm lips on her skin. After a long moment, he stepped back, giving her another heart melting smile.

"Give it time, Nyota." He said with a shrug. "Just give it time, and move on."

And if she was vaguely disappointed that he didn't make another move to kiss her, that he only held out his hand for her to take and directed her back into the bar for another drink, than she told herself it was completely okay.

She was giving it time, and moving on.


A/N: What do you think? After I'm done with "Daddies' Dearests", I'll probably post a companion to this, from Jim's POV. :)