Slipping into his private bathing chambers, Thor adds some sandalwood and rose oils to the already heated water in the tub. Immersing himself he leans against the wall and closes his eyes. Breathing in the oils helps him relax. He has to put up face for breakfast or people might suspect something.
He scrubs his skin clean and rises from the water. Drying off he catches his reflection in the mirror. His eyes are red and swollen, tears still sit behind his blue eyes. He turns the faucet and cold water falls into the sink. Splashing his face doesn't make his eyes perfect but it helps. Hopefully once he's dressed they would be back to normal.
The banquet hall is quiet, a few people mill about or sit and chat.
He scans the table and sees Loki's spot still set, another missed meal.
"Thor," Odin's voice booms from the other end of the room.
"Good morning, father," he takes a seat next to Odin.
"Don't tell me Sif will be expecting an heir before the wedding, my son." He nudges Thor and winks.
"I-uh-I doubt it," his face flushes pink and Odin smiles.
"There will be plenty of time with that after the wedding."
"Yes, there will be, won't there..." Thor frowns at the plate of eggs and fruit placed in front of him, his appetite now gone. "Father?"
"Mm?" Odin looks at him over the rim of his cup.
"Have you time this afternoon for me to come speak with you in private?"
Odin nods, "come see me after your training."
"Thank you," he waves a servant over. "Have the kitchen prepare a small plate of food and bring it to me. Silver and all." The woman nods and trots to the kitchen.
"Taking some back to your room for later?" Odin raises his eyebrow.
"No, to Loki. I'm worried about him. I can count on one hand the number of meals he's eaten in the last week."
"I'm sure if he's hungry, he'll come eat, but it's a nice gesture."
"Yes," the servant reappears with a tray containing a covered plate and silverware. She hands it to Thor and bows back to the corner of the room.
He heads straight to Loki's room and knocks on the door.
"Who is it?" Loki's voice is shaking.
"I come with food for you, dear brother. I'm coming in," he opens the door and finds Loki in the window again.
"I'm not hungry," he says and pulls the curtain, shrouding the room in darkness.
"Loki, you must eat. Your health is suffering, I can't marry you if you are dead."
"You aren't going to marry me. You can't."
Thor sighs and sets the tray on the end table next to the chairs and approaches the window.
"Loki," he inches back the curtain.
"Go away, Thor. You coming around only makes it more painful."
Thor is dumbfounded, "makes what more painful?"
"I'm leaving, Thor. I can't bear the thought of being without you and if I stay I'll have to see you be with Sif forever." His voice is cold and calculated.
"I told you last night," he pulls the curtain and scoops Loki up, he fights but Thor overpowers him. "I'm not marrying Sif. I'll fall into Odinsleep before I'm with someone other than you."
He plants a kiss on Loki's forehead and sets him in a chair.
"You need to eat, Loki. Please," Thor takes the top off the tray to reveal eggs, bread, and grapes.
"I told you, I'm not hungry," Loki says but his stomach lets out a loud grumble.
"And your stomach betrays you. Now eat."
Begrudgingly, Loki picks up the fork and starts to eat.
"Why did you bring this to me?" he asks between bites.
"Because I can't marry you if you are unwell."
"You keep saying that you're going to marry me like you believe it. We both know it won't happen."
Thor frowns, "I'm speaking with Odin about it this afternoon."
"What?" Something flickers in Loki's eyes, fear, excitement?
"Yes, I'm going to tell him that I don't want to marry Sif and that I want to marry you."
"Good thing my bags are already packed then," he puts his fork down and, with a wave of his hand, suitcases slide out from under the bed packed and closed.
"Loki, no. Where will you even go?"
"I have a contact that is going to take me somewhere else," he folds his arms over his chest.
"Where, Loki? Why?" Thor's chest tightens and his eyes sting.
"Somewhere that I can live quietly and alone like I ought to."
Anger rushes through Thor, "did you take nothing from last night, Loki? You don't deserve to live alone. You are not unwanted." He flies out of chair and places his hands on either arm of his brother's seat.
"I know you want me, Thor. I can be happy with that but I have resigned myself to being nothing more than a moment for you," the pain in his voice sends daggers into Thor's chest.
"Loki-" he presses a finger to Thor's lips like Thor did him last night.
"You will speak to Odin this afternoon and he will not give in and you'll marry Sif in 13 days and that will be that. Best that I'm not here, I might not survive the ceremony." His gaze falls to his lap for a moment.
A single tear falls into Loki's lap and he looks up at his brother.
"Loki, please, have some faith in this. This can happen," he takes Loki's hands in his.
"I want to, I do. But we've waited too long, the hope that could have been is gone. Now you have places to be, brother. The training field awaits."
"Please stay, Loki. I'll call as soon as I've spoken with Odin." He dips and kisses him on the lips gently. "I love you and I do want to spend my life with you."
Thor takes a deep breath and knocks on the heavy door in front of him.
"Enter," Odin's voice carries through the door.
He pushes into the room.
"Thor, my son, sit." He gestures to a chair in front of the large fireplace across from where Odin lounges. "What do you wish to speak with me about?"
Suddenly nervous, Thor clenches his fist as he sits down.
"It's about the wedding, father," his voice shakes.
"Ah, yes, getting eager I assume. Sorry, my son, but I'm not moving it up. You've only got 13 more days to wait." Odin chuckles.
"It's not. It's not that," Thor coughs. "I-I-"
Odin sits up and cocks his eyebrow, "out with it?"
"I don't want to marry Sif," he rushes it all on one breath, his heart racing. "I'm sorry."
"Don't want to marry? Thor. What's gotten into you?" Disappointment comes to rest on Odin's face.
"When I think of my children, I don't see her as being their mother. She is too good of a warrior to give it up for motherhood."
"Who would you rather marry then?"
Again Thor takes a breath, panic rising, "Loki."
Odin sits in stunned silence for a moment. "You want to marry..."
"Loki," Thor repeats, more surely this time. "Yes."
"I cannot allow it, Thor. You are going to marry Sif and that's that," Odin's voice is fierce. Anyone else would back down and accept it but not Thor.
"Father please. Everyone knows Sif and I won't last. Even Heimdall asked why I was planning to marry her and the best response I could come up with was, 'because Odin decided I should.' I do not love her, Father. I'm in love with Loki. I've been in love with Loki for as long as I can remember." Thor didn't realize that the force of his words and brought him to his feet. "I'm sorry," he sits back down, his body shaking.
Odin drums his fingers on the arm of the large, throne-like chair choosing his words carefully.
"Last night," Odin speaks quietly. "The storm, who were you with if not Sif?"
"Must you really ask, Father? You know the answer, it's why I'm here," Thor frowns.
"Loki must have cursed you at dinner then," Odin responds.
"What? Father, no. I-"
"Silence! I saw you two looking at each other when I officially announced your engagement. The sly smile Loki had on his face. He must be punished."
"No, please. He has committed no crime! I am here by my own accord. I went to his bedchambers by my will. I laid with Loki by my choice," Thor's voice goes hoarse from yelling.
In a flash Thor is thrown sideways and crashes to the floor. His cheek is hot and he can feel welts forming. One of Odin's rings cut him and blood trickles down his face.
"Dare you raise your voice at me, Thor Odinson?"
Shaken but undeterred, Thor stands to face Odin again.
"Yes, I dare. I will not marry Sif. I will marry Loki. Please, Father," he lowers his face, hiding the tears threatening to slip from his eyes from the pain in is face plus the possibility that he may still have to marry Sif.
"Thor, my son. I want you to be happy but this is something I must think on," Odin places his hand on Thor's shoulder. "For now, the wedding is still going to proceed. I will speak with Frigga and visit you in your chambers in a few days."
Stunned, Thor responds, "th-Thank you, Father," tears of joy bursting from his eyes, burning as they stream over the ring cut.
"Now go clean yourself up."
Thor nods and leaves. His first stop is not to clean up. Instead it's to Loki's chambers.
He enters without knocking and finds Loki back in his window.
"At least I know where you'll always be," Thor strolls over.
"What do you want now, Thor?" He doesn't look up from his book.
"I told you I'd call as soon as I spoke with Odin," he leans against the ledge and Loki looks up. Thankfully the side Odin struck was facing away and Loki couldn't see it.
"He struck it down I'm assuming," Loki frowns.
"Initially, yes. But I convinced him to at least think about it. He's going to take counsel from Mother on the matter." He turns to face Loki better, "so there is still hope, brother!"
Loki doesn't smile, his eyes suddenly fixed on Thor's left cheek.
"What happened?" He reaches out and Thor winces at the contact.
"It's the price I paid for arguing with the All-Father," he smiles. "And I'd do it again, even if it kills me." He kisses Loki.
"Thor, why would you argue with Odin?" Loki shakes his head.
"Because you're worth the fight. This love is worth than more than my life."
XXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxx
"Loki, wake up," Frigga is knocking at the door. Stirring, Loki sits up. The gap in the curtains lets in a small amount of pale light.
"What time is it, mother?" he grumbles.
"It's early, Odin wants to see you."
Loki's stomach flips, "what?"
"Do not ask questions, now get dressed and go to him," she disappears and closes the door.
Loki sits in bed for a moment, confused. It's been two days since Thor came with the news that Odin was considering letting Thor marry Loki instead of Sif.
He sighs and gets up. Sliding his green tunic over his head he tries to clear his mind.
The corridor leading to Odin's private throne room is quiet and cold. The birds are only just starting to chirp.
He knocks on the heavy bronze that divides him from the All-Father.
"Enter," Odin booms from the other side. "Sit." He points at the chair across from him.
Loki does as he is told, his heart racing.
"Good morning, All-Father," he manages. His voice is shaking and he doesn't dare make eye contact.
"Thor has asked me to call off his wedding with Sif and allow you to marry him. Have you any knowledge of this?"
Loki nods, "yes. It has come up in conversation."
"He also claims he laid with you the other night. Is this true?"
Again he nods.
"Be honest with me, Loki. Did you manipulate him into any of these things?"
Loki shakes his head, "I would never do that to Thor. I love him too much."
"Do you think you two should marry?" Loki dares to look at Odin finds his gaze boring into him.
"It would be nice. But I don't wish to cause him any trouble or g-go against your wishes," he stammers.
"Fair enough. If you had to give a reason why Thor shouldn't marry Sif, what would you offer?"
Loki thinks for a moment. "Thor doesn't seem like himself around her. She speaks of nothing but war and other issues facing Asgard. Which is important but that's ALL she speaks of. Never of things that make Thor happy. His spirit is broken when he spends so much time with her."
Odin says nothing. He just looks over Loki.
"Thank you, you may go back to your chambers." A guard approaches and takes Loki by the arm.
"All-Father," he pauses for a moment. "If it makes any difference, I already arranged with someone to take me away before the wedding. I really don't think I can stand to see it."
XXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXXxx
Thor is surprised to see Loki come strolling into the banquet hall that evening. He takes his seat across from Thor and nods in greeting to Sif.
He helps himself to some of the roast in the center of the table and starts to eat.
After a few minutes, Sif bids Thor goodnight and he pecks her on the cheek.
"Good night, my dear," he says and she turns to leave. She smirks at Thor as she goes. He almost doesn't catch it but she pauses just long enough for him to.
Thor exhales, relieved that she's gone.
"Has he said anything yet?" Loki inquires.
Thor shakes his head, "nothing. I'm getting nervous. He rarely takes this long to decide on such things."
"He spoke with me this morning," Loki set his fork down and took a small sip of water from his cup.
"What?" Thor's eyes seemed to bulge out.
"Yes. Mother came to me at dawn and I went to him. He asked me about you and I. And Sif. I couldn't tell what he was thinking though."
They fall silent.
As Loki reaches for a second helping of roast, Thor smiles.
"What?" Loki raises his eyebrow.
"I'm just glad to see you eating for once," he responds.
"I found some new magic to practice yesterday so I'm a little hungrier than usual," he cuts into the new piece of meat in front of him.
They chat a little more before Thor lets out a mighty yawn.
"Getting tired are we?" Loki smiles.
"Depends," Thor lowers his voice. "Do I get to sleep in your bed tonight?"
Loki blushes, "you know you can't."
"Then you'll come to mine?" His eyes gleam.
Loki's face is burning red, "I can't."
"It was worth a try," Thor smiles again, revealing his pearl white teeth.
"Good night, Thor."
"Good night, Loki."
