The sky is dark but the parking lot is vaguely lit by a lamp post here and there. It's a beautiful night in L.A., albeit a little chilly. We are all standing outside the movie theater late on a Fall Friday night. Jade, Beck, Andre, Cat, Robbie and I have been standing out here for a good thirty minutes; despite the fact that we were kicked out of the theater and it was closed and we are all freezing. Everyone is a little hesitant to split up to go to our separate cars in the dark.
The horror film we saw got to us.
The only one of us who doesn't seem fazed is Jade. She won the bet, she picked the movie. Judging by the way she was able to mouth every line of the movie before it was said on the screen, I would say she has seen the classic horror film It. I don't like clowns anymore.
Of course she isn't scared. She just stands there in her black skinny jeans, black Doc Martins, black Polo v-neck, and black leather jacket with the hood pulled on to her head. Her eyebrow piercing in her arched, right eye reflects the moonlight cast on it. Though her face is hard to see in the dim light and a little harder to make out with her hood on, I can still tell that she has her trademark smirk plastered on her face, emphasized by her piercing blue eyes that stand out in comparison to all of the black she is wearing.
The only thing I don't like about her wardrobe is the accessory that is always there, physically present or not, her boyfriend Beck. He stands there with his arm protectively draped over her shoulders. Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against him, just the fact he has Jade, and I don't. Beck is a great guy, sometimes I feel a little guilty about my feelings for his girlfriend. Then I remember that I didn't choose this, so it isn't really my fault. Right? Right.
I watch her as she just observes the others as they complain, she is always doing that. Observing us, like a predator waiting to strike its prey. Though on the surface she often seems bored, irritated, condescending, or some combination of the three, I have realized that she is just studying people; analyzing their words and body language.
Beck finally takes his arm off her should as he steps away to take a phone call. I feel like smiling, she barely notices he is gone.
When he returns he says something to the group. Her face turns into a scowl as she looks towards me. I blush while simultaneously thanking the theater's maintenance team for not changing the lamp light bulbs making it impossible to see my blush.
I wasn't listening before but now I want to know what it was that has her scowling at me. Its looks like these that cut right through my heart.
Tuning back into the conversation, I realize they are discussing who's driving who home. Beck and Jade came in separate cars, seeing as she had an errand to run on the other side of town while Beck was coming from his yoga class that is closer to the theater and his home. Cat and Robbie came together from Robbie's grandmother's house. Andre drove himself and Trina came with me but ditched me before we made it into our seats to follow some guy we passed.
I did not understand why she was scowling at me until people started explaining why they couldn't give a ride and possibly save my life.
Beck says, "I just got a call back for a role in a movie that is tomorrow morning. It's already late and Tori lives on the other side of L.A. I need to get some rest before tomorrow."
Andre apologetically informs me that, "I am already driving Robbie home and my coupe only fits two people."
Cat is last, "Sorry, Tori, my brother just told me his mother ship finally came back for him and he wants to say goodbye." At this I just smile and nod, mostly because this only leaves Jade and because if I don't Cat may be offended. I love her, but something driving in a car with her would not reflect kindly on my judgment skills.
"No" before anyone even verbally asks her, Jade rejects the idea of driving me home. She and Beck then argue whispering about it. I am able to pick up on things he is saying like "you live closer" and "good opportunity" and "bond". Eventually he says something that strikes a nerve because she suddenly huffs out a, "Fine, but you owe me."
I'm not that bad. I roll my eyes but I don't say what I am thinking for fear that she might change her mind.
After goodbyes that seemed to take too long, we finally headed into different directions to our cars. As we walked farther from the theater the number of lamp posts began to dwindle making it harder to see. I could still make out her sharp figure as she strutted leisurely in front of me.
I made sure to keep an eye on her because I had never been in her car and had no clue what it looked like.
So focused on her body I walked right into the back of her car which blended in with the night. It was too dark for me to make out the make of the car.
"Ow"
"Watch it Vega, you scratch it and I will make sure you repaint all of it with a brush the size of a ballpoint pen" she barked.
I walked around grumbling about how I wouldn't do that even if I did scratch it. Before I got in I realized she was having trouble getting to her keys with all the other stuff in her hands. I walked back around, "Let me hold something for you."
"Ugh, fine. Here" I grabbed her Pearphone but quickly slid that into by back pocket as she continued to hand me the Twizzlers, iced coffee, wallet, and sunglasses she held in order to fish through her jacket pocket for her keys. I caught myself staring as she then slipped out of her leather jacket and smoothly slid into the car. She started the car and rolled the window down, "Vega, in five seconds I am going to leave you here."
At first I shot her a challenging glare but then realized she was serious as she started counting down and began to switch gears. I quickly made my way to the passenger side and hopped in, slightly startled by the feel of the cool leather on my legs. I set her candy and coffee in the center console and placed her wallet in the small compartment just under her radio and navigation system.
"Thank you, Jade" I mumbled as I fastened my seatbelt. I barely had time to sit back and get comfortable before she whipped us out of the parking lot and onto the street, with other drivers. Having driven with Trina, Jade's driving wasn't the worst I had seen before.
I was immediately worried about how we were going to fill the thirty minute drive we had to survive together back to the side of town we lived on. I was right in my worries, five minutes into the drive but the air was still thick with tension. I really like Jade, but she makes me feel so many emotions at once I have to work so hard to keep them in check. Sometimes, when she is being mean, I just want to shut her up, most of the time smack her because I know I could never kiss her and live to love it. When she is being vulnerable, like when I got her and Beck back together, I just want to kiss and hold her. Those are the moments I want to freeze her like that, in hopes that she would remain that way. Late at night I think about her, I always think about her, but at night, I relive all of the things she said to me that day and I analyze them, hoping for a deeper meaning. I've got it bad.
These feelings I have for Jade aren't new to me. They started not long after I came to the art school and have not left me alone since. Only Trina knows and I still don't know how she figured it out. I have a feeling it was the subtle hints I posted on TheSlap about liking someone in a relationship and the fact that she is my sister. See, as much as she tries to hide it, Trina is extremely intelligent when it comes to people, especially me. We don't show it often but we are really close and always have been.
I'm glad she knows, it gives me someone to talk to about it. She thinks I should tell her. Trina is convinced that Jade doesn't actually hate me; it is just the sexual tension between us that gets to her. I doubt there is any sexual tension between us but sometimes thinking that helps the pain in my heart from wanting her.
I am dragged out of my thoughts when Jade turns music on. She has her PearPod connected to her car's stereo system and a Jay-Z song comes on. I can't help but smile as she relaxes into her seat, one hand on the steering wheel, the other on the gear stick next to my leg as she mouths all the words to D.O.A. Every now and then she brings both hands to the wheel, but only to tap out the beat. She looks so peaceful and content; I can tell that driving is one of the small things in her life that she genuinely enjoys doing.
I must have been staring for a couple minutes because the song ended and a song by Wale is playing as she glances at me and says, "It isn't polite to stare, Vega".
"I didn't know you like rap and r&b" I avoid her comment and try to get to know her. Even before I started acknowledging the nature of my feelings for her I knew I wanted to solve the mystery known as Jade West.
"You sound surprised. What did you think I listen to?"
"Something dark and scary, like funeral dirges or extreme death metal" I respond honestly, jumping at this small opportunity to get to know her better.
She chuckles at my answer, the butterflies that have created a home and reproduced in my stomach flutter. "Classic, Vega." These words sound mean a little like she is offended or hurt. I immediately want to know what happened so she doesn't shut herself off to me.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing, are you cold?" It was then that I realized that I was shivering and that she could see thanks to the streetlight that was nearby. Waiting for the light to turn green she turns her head to me.
"A little" she turns the heat on and I notice that she did not put her jacket back on. "Thanks, aren't you cold? What happened to your jacket?"
As the light changed she sped off, "No, I don't like driving while wearing it, it limits my movements." We are now in our neighborhood and the corner from my house. When I notice this the butterflies in my stomach turn to knots and I get quiet. I guessed she noticed my change in demeanor because she keeps glancing at me.
I wasn't expecting concern in her voice or for her to even notice anything wrong. She is very observant. The truth is I'm not okay; I don't like going home anymore. My parents fight, a lot. It used to be occasional but now has become a daily ritual, like drinking coffee in the morning or breathing. Trina is typically able to help but she has been busy with college stuff seeing as she is a senior. My heart drops when we pull into my driveway and Trina's car is gone but their cars aren't. Jade parks the car and turns to me, "Vega, you don't have to go home, but you have to get out of my car."
I snort and roll my eyes "Yeah, thanks for the ride." I don't even try to come up with some witty response as my mind is trying to prepare itself for the night to come.
My distance and hesitation to get out of the car must have been obvious because Jade is getting uncomfortable and impatient. She looks like she is going to tell me something but doesn't so I unbuckle myself and climb out of the car. I mumble what was supposed to be a "good night" but was probably hard to understand.
As I walk around the front of her car and up my driveway I hear a window roll down and, "Vega, wait!"
I turn around and look at her expectantly, silently thanking her for the delay she is providing. "What?" she waves me over so I walk back to her window and bend down to talk. The distraction is causing the butterflies in my stomach to slowly challenge the knots.
"Are you okay?" she looks me in the eye as she asks me. I feel like her blue eyes are trying to look past just my eyes. I've never been a good liar but I try anyways.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She just looks at me and shakes her head a glint of amusement in her eyes.
"How are you an actress and the world's worst liar at the same time?" I blush slightly choosing to only hear the compliment. Though calling me an actress isn't much of a compliment it is for Jade because she rarely acknowledges the fact that I am an actress.
"Aw, thank you, Jade. I didn't realize you cared so much." My voice comes out shaky as the knots in my stomach are fighting back.
She glares at me then rolls her eyes. Turning her attention to her rear view mirror and putting her car into reverse she says, "Whatever. If you repeat any of what I'm about to say I will hunt you down and turn you into a human wall ornament placed above my bed." I try to deter my thoughts from going naughty when she mentions her bed, what I would do to be there.
"Got it"
"If you, uh, you know, need to…talk… about anything…I'm here I guess" she says slowly and hesitantly looking for the right words. My heart swells and the butterflies have won the battle.
I always try to see the positive in Jade but it is no secret that we don't get along and that she hates me. Naturally, I am hesitant with this offer of hers. That doesn't last long as my mind soon processes that Jade just said that she would be there for me, if necessary.
Trying to fight a huge grin from consuming my face I reply, "Thank you, that means a lot especially since it is coming from you and we really haven't had the best friendship in the past if you can even call it a friendship I think it is more like a frenemyship but sometimes-"
"Vega, breathe! I get it, now go." I don't want to, but I say goodbye again and turn around and go inside.
