MELFICE MESSIAH by Kount Xero
Intro:"Granas Lust"
(stage set as a ruined Granas temple or a whorehouse, not much difference anyway. Dim lights, and Ryudo the Geohound enters)
Ryudo: Hey!(looks around) Heey! Where the hell are you? Look, I'm warning you, I will not tolerate such thing! Ye shall be purified!!!
Selene(backstage):Hey! That was my line, fool!!!
Ryudo:Shut up! I am the actor here!(coughs) Anyways, is there anyone in this ruined temple? (Dramatic voice) Or is it only the haunted spirits of the dead that hear my words?
(Enter Elena, in her usual outfit. Hey wait. Since WHEN does it include minimal clothing!?)
Elena(melodramatic voice):Ryudo, the love of my life, the only piece of pure light that is left to me from Granas! (hugs Ryudo and whispers)There's a dark spot here, they forgot to shade light on it. Let us French it out.
Ryudo(anime sweat drop):Elena, we're on stage!(To the audience) Ahem, what is it that has brought you here O holy Songstress Of Granas?
Elena(OVERRATEDLY dramatic):Oh!(holds hear forehead) Oh, it is those news of the uprising messiah that shadows my lonely, lusty- oops! I mean. crusty heart!
Ryudo(confused):And thy heart is where thee shall be, with Romeo!
Elena:Swear not by the- wait wait!(sighs)Aight, something has been bugging me to death, that's why I'm here, okay!?
Ryudo(still confused, acting like he is not):I see, Songstress.
Elena(looking daggers at Ryudo):Mistress!!!
Ryudo:Mis- hey wait! You are the innocent Sister Of Granas, Elena! Behave yourself!
Elena(fluttering eyelashes):Oh? (lusty, dramatic voice) So will the cruel, heartless Geohound satisfy. I mean, violently sever the needs of this poor little Sister Of Granas?
Ryudo:Fine, fine. But only till Millenia comes.(they disappear into the dark corner, then, suddenly, a bra flies out.)
(Enter Millenia in a Xena outfit, bloody sword in hand)
Millenia(angry voice):Thou foul villains that left me in bed, alone at night! Where the hell are you Ryudo!? I'm gonna cut off your dumbstick for abandoning me!!!
Elena(from the dark corner):Hey, watch it!
Ryudo:Look, Elena, I can't get in it if you move like that!
Millenia(pointing at the spot light manager):And Valmar said, let there be light! No wait, Valmar couldn'tve said that!
Zera(backstage):Oh, he can, for he is the true GOD!!!
Millenia:Shut up!(to the spot light manager) LIGHTS, YOU IGNORANT PEASANT, LIGHTS!!!
(lights come on Ryudo and Elena, kissing, half-naked)
Elena&Ryudo:WHAT THE HELL!?
Millenia(Devilish smile):Let us bring this first sign of the Upcoming Messiah!(waits, nothing happens)I SAID LET US BRING THE FIRST SIGN OF-( a sandbag falls to her side) HOLY!!! No wait, UNHOLY!!!
Elena:It is but a sign of the messiah, that is about to bless us with it's light!!!
Ryudo:Elena, can you let me pull out, it's getting disturbing over here!
Elena&Ryudo&Millenia:And Granas lust shed on our bodies, Messiah is coming, he will soon be. Umm. Bloodied?(they look at each other)
Millenia:You suck at rhyming!(smiles lustily) Though Ryudo, you do suck at other things too.
Ryudo(anime sweat drop):Cut it! Let's proceed, and for Granas' sake, FOLLOW THE SCRIPT!!!
(enter Zera, in clothes that symbolize agony of regret. Torn pieces of cloth, to be precise.)
Zera:Insolent fools! God is omnipotent!!!
Ryudo:It's..
Millenia:ZERA!!!
Elena:Oh he's ugly! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!
(they run out, leaving Zera alone)
Zera:Heh heh. And the director would not give me the role of the messiah. No matter. I will straighten things to my own taste!!!(beat, no applause comes)
Zera:Fine.(leaves. Lights go out. End of Intro)
Intro:"Granas Lust"
(stage set as a ruined Granas temple or a whorehouse, not much difference anyway. Dim lights, and Ryudo the Geohound enters)
Ryudo: Hey!(looks around) Heey! Where the hell are you? Look, I'm warning you, I will not tolerate such thing! Ye shall be purified!!!
Selene(backstage):Hey! That was my line, fool!!!
Ryudo:Shut up! I am the actor here!(coughs) Anyways, is there anyone in this ruined temple? (Dramatic voice) Or is it only the haunted spirits of the dead that hear my words?
(Enter Elena, in her usual outfit. Hey wait. Since WHEN does it include minimal clothing!?)
Elena(melodramatic voice):Ryudo, the love of my life, the only piece of pure light that is left to me from Granas! (hugs Ryudo and whispers)There's a dark spot here, they forgot to shade light on it. Let us French it out.
Ryudo(anime sweat drop):Elena, we're on stage!(To the audience) Ahem, what is it that has brought you here O holy Songstress Of Granas?
Elena(OVERRATEDLY dramatic):Oh!(holds hear forehead) Oh, it is those news of the uprising messiah that shadows my lonely, lusty- oops! I mean. crusty heart!
Ryudo(confused):And thy heart is where thee shall be, with Romeo!
Elena:Swear not by the- wait wait!(sighs)Aight, something has been bugging me to death, that's why I'm here, okay!?
Ryudo(still confused, acting like he is not):I see, Songstress.
Elena(looking daggers at Ryudo):Mistress!!!
Ryudo:Mis- hey wait! You are the innocent Sister Of Granas, Elena! Behave yourself!
Elena(fluttering eyelashes):Oh? (lusty, dramatic voice) So will the cruel, heartless Geohound satisfy. I mean, violently sever the needs of this poor little Sister Of Granas?
Ryudo:Fine, fine. But only till Millenia comes.(they disappear into the dark corner, then, suddenly, a bra flies out.)
(Enter Millenia in a Xena outfit, bloody sword in hand)
Millenia(angry voice):Thou foul villains that left me in bed, alone at night! Where the hell are you Ryudo!? I'm gonna cut off your dumbstick for abandoning me!!!
Elena(from the dark corner):Hey, watch it!
Ryudo:Look, Elena, I can't get in it if you move like that!
Millenia(pointing at the spot light manager):And Valmar said, let there be light! No wait, Valmar couldn'tve said that!
Zera(backstage):Oh, he can, for he is the true GOD!!!
Millenia:Shut up!(to the spot light manager) LIGHTS, YOU IGNORANT PEASANT, LIGHTS!!!
(lights come on Ryudo and Elena, kissing, half-naked)
Elena&Ryudo:WHAT THE HELL!?
Millenia(Devilish smile):Let us bring this first sign of the Upcoming Messiah!(waits, nothing happens)I SAID LET US BRING THE FIRST SIGN OF-( a sandbag falls to her side) HOLY!!! No wait, UNHOLY!!!
Elena:It is but a sign of the messiah, that is about to bless us with it's light!!!
Ryudo:Elena, can you let me pull out, it's getting disturbing over here!
Elena&Ryudo&Millenia:And Granas lust shed on our bodies, Messiah is coming, he will soon be. Umm. Bloodied?(they look at each other)
Millenia:You suck at rhyming!(smiles lustily) Though Ryudo, you do suck at other things too.
Ryudo(anime sweat drop):Cut it! Let's proceed, and for Granas' sake, FOLLOW THE SCRIPT!!!
(enter Zera, in clothes that symbolize agony of regret. Torn pieces of cloth, to be precise.)
Zera:Insolent fools! God is omnipotent!!!
Ryudo:It's..
Millenia:ZERA!!!
Elena:Oh he's ugly! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!
(they run out, leaving Zera alone)
Zera:Heh heh. And the director would not give me the role of the messiah. No matter. I will straighten things to my own taste!!!(beat, no applause comes)
Zera:Fine.(leaves. Lights go out. End of Intro)
