LETTERS FROM LIFE

A series of letters from David Starsky to various friends and family members as he struggles to become a man.

PART ONE

Dear God,

I know I am not suppose to question the things you do. But, why did you have to take my Pop away? He was a good man and he took care of me, my ma and Nicky the best he could. It's not fair that we're never going to see him again. I loved him and I miss him so much. I hate you for doing this to my family and taking my Pop away from us. I will never forgive you.

Twelve year old David Starsky left the letter unsigned. Blinking back the unshed tears, he carefully folded the sheet of paper and slid it between the pages of a book lying on his dresser. He knew it was stupid writing a letter to God. He wasn't even sure anymore that God even existed. If he did, how could he let his Pop die the way he did? It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

Dear Joey,

My ma is sending me to live with my aunt and uncle in California. She says it's for my own good but I know it's because she just doesn't want me around anymore. I'm gonna miss you and the rest of the guys. I promise I'll find a way to come back someday.

Your friend, Davey

David sighed heavily as he put the note in the envelope and licked the seal. In the morning he would be gone, on his way to live with an aunt and uncle that he barely knew. California. That was clear across the country away from everybody and everything that was familiar to the young pre-teen. He was scared and hurt but determined not to let it show. He would show them just how tough he was. He didn't need them. He didn't need anybody anymore. Another brick fell in place in the wall he was slowly building around his emotions.

Dear Ma,

Aunt Rosie says I have to write you and apologize for the things I said to you on the phone last night. So I am. But, I'm not sorry. You sent me out here to get rid of me because you don't want me or love me anymore. Nicky's the only one you care about now. So, why should I say I'm sorry for telling the truth? You and Pop always told me and Nicky that it was a sin to tell a lie. I hate you and I'll never forgive you for sending me away.

David

David sealed the envelope and walked outside to drop it in the mailbox on the corner. He had been in California for two weeks and he was desperately homesick. He didn't fit in here and he knew he never would. The kids at his new school made fun of him because of his clothes and his New York accent. Being Jewish didn't help. It just made him stick out even more. He had his father's temper and growing up on the mean streets of New York had taught him at an early age how to protect himself. More than one of his tormenters had been sent home with a black eye or a busted lip. And he had already been suspended for three days for fighting. Life in California sucked. All he wanted to do was to go home.

Dear Nicky,

Hey, Kid. How you doing? The weather here is great. It's warm all the time. I miss you, kid and I wish I could come home but I guess that ain't gonna happen any time soon. At least you still got Ma. I ain't got nobody. Aunt Rosie and Uncle Al are okay I guess. They don't hit me or nothing. And they're not as strict about going to temple as Ma was so I don't have to go if I don't want to. Well, I guess I'll go. You be good and listen to Ma or she might send you away too.

Davey

David blinked back a tear as he finished the letter to his younger brother. He missed the kid even if Nicky did drive him nuts by wanting to hang around with him all the time. He thought about New York and home all the time. Moving to California had been a culture shock that he was having trouble adjusting to. He still lit a candle and said a prayer for Pop every night before he went to bed. Then he cried himself to sleep in the darkness of his room.

PART 2

Dear Ma,

I can't wait to see you and Nicky. I'm really happy that Uncle Joey is going to give you to money to come out here for my graduation. You'll finally get to meet Johnny Blaine. He's a great guy. If it hadn't been for him I would never have made it this far. Uncle Al has been letting me help out in the garage and he has this sweet little car he's going to let me have if I fix it up myself.

I know I've been a little shit sometimes but I'm glad we worked things out. I'm really glad now that you sent me out here. I didn't understand at the time. I really thought you just didn't want me around anymore and didn't love me. I even thought you sent me away because I looked so much like Pop that you couldn't stand to look at me because I reminded you of him. I love you Ma. I always have and I always will. Can't wait to see you.

Love Davey

David smiled as he put the letter in the envelope. He couldn't wait to see Ma and Nicky again. It had been almost five years since he had been sent to California. He had resolved his differences with his mother and kept in touch through letters and a weekly phone call home on Friday nights but it wasn't the same as seeing her or Nicky in person.

It hadn't been easy for him to adjust to his new life in California. He had spent the first two years walking around with a chip on his shoulder and getting into trouble. Then he met Johnny Blaine, a policeman who had moved in next door to Rosie and Al. Johnny took him under his wing and became a surrogate father to the rebellious teen.

With Blaine's support David had straightened out and started getting better grades in school. He got involved in sports and started making friends. Now, he was graduating from high school and was all set to spend the summer working for his uncle. After that he was considering taking some classes at the local community college until he decided what he wanted to do with his life. In the back of his mind, he was secretly considering following in his father's footsteps and becoming a cop. It was a decision he knew that his mother would not be happy about.

Dear Nicky,

Got your letter yesterday. Glad to hear you got a girlfriend. You better treat her right or I'll come back there and kick your ass. I'm still your big brother and I can take you down a notch or two. You better stay away from Ritchie and his bunch too. They're nothing but trouble. Ma don't need any grief from you. I gave her enough grief to last a lifetime. Ha Ha. Write back soon and be good!

Your big Brother

Starsky couldn't believe how fast Nicky was growing up. He wasn't a little kid anymore. But he was worried that Nicky was running with the wrong crowd. Ma had to work two jobs so Nicky spent a lot of time by himself. That was a sure recipe for trouble and, at thirteen, Nicky was right at that age to get in over his head. Starsky didn't want to see the kid made the same mistakes he had almost made.

Dear Ma,

I'm sorry I upset you last night with my phone call but I didn't want to tell you in a letter about getting my draft notice. I guess it's better to get it over and done with. I leave for basic training in two weeks and then who knows where I'll end up. I'll write again when I have more news.

Love, David

David had tried to keep the letter to his mother upbeat but, to tell the truth, he was scared to death about getting drafted. He had heard the rumors about military troops getting sent to some place called Viet Nam and the 'police action' that was going on there. Military service was simply a fact of life for kids with Starsky's background.

PART 3

Dear Ma,

Thanks for the box of goodies. It sure was a hit with the other guys. They loved your cookies so make sure and send more as soon as you can. Ha Ha. Things are okay over here. It rains a lot and it's hot and muggy the rest of the time. I'll sure be glad to get back home. Ten months down, eight months to go. How's Nicky? Tell him he better straighten up and stay away from Spider and Lex. They're nothing but trouble. I wish I could be there to help keep him in line. Write soon. Love you.

Davey

David slouched back on his cot exhausted from a three day march through the jungle. He didn't tell his mother about the horrors he saw every day. There were some things you just didn't tell your mother when you were in a war half way around the world. There had been an early morning attack on their camp and three of his friends had been killed. He had lost count of the number of gooks he had killed. The army had recognized his natural talent early on and had trained him as a sharp shooter and a sniper. He had learned to block it out of his mind and not see his targets as kids just like himself fighting and killing each other just because their country told them to.

Dear Huggy,

How are things back there? Congradulations on taking over your uncle's bar. I know you'll make a go of it. You're lucky that bum knee kept you out of the service. This place sucks. I hate it here. You can't let down your guard for a minute or you'll end up dead. I'm scared all the time but you can't let it show. All I want to do is come home in one piece. I've had more than my fair share of close calls. That's all for now. Take care of yourself.

See Ya

David dropped off the letters to be mailed home. One to Ma and one to Huggy Bear. Huggy was an old friend from high school that had helped him adjust to California when he first moved there. The fact that Huggy was black had never made any difference to David but it had led to a few scraps with some of the other jocks in his class. David was and always had been fiercely loyal to the friends he chose to let into his inner circle. Huggy was the only one back home that David could be honest with about the horrors of this place and his innermost feelings about the things he saw and had to do every day.

Dear Ma,

I'm in Hawaii at a rehab center. The doctors said I'm doing good and I should be able to come home in a few weeks. They were able to save my leg but the doc said I would probably have trouble with that ankle for the rest of my life. But, I guess that's a small price to pay. At least I'm still alive and in one piece. I can't wait to see you and Nicky. Love you.

David

David had been as honest as he could in his letter without alarming his mother too much. He had spent the last six weeks in a POW camp and been one of the few survivors who had been rescued when the camp was raided by American troupes. He had been in pretty bad shape and in serious danger of losing his left leg to infection and gangrene. Torture had been a way of life in the camp and, one by one, he had watched his comrades die. He didn't know why his life had been spared while so many others had died in vain. He had survived but faced an uncertain future filled with his own personal demons.

Dear Huggy,

I get out of here next week. I'm going back to New York for a couple of weeks then I'm coming back to Bay City. Hope that offer to stay with you for a while is still open. I don't really want to go back to Al and Rosie's house. The doctors all said that I'm lucky to be alive. Ma doesn't have any idea how bad it was and I don't plan on telling her. I just want to forget about that hell hole and pretend that part of my life never happened. See you soon, buddy. Keep the beer on ice and get me the numbers of some pretty ladies to spend some time with when I get back.

Dave

David expertly maneuvered the wheelchair back down the hallway to his room flashing a teasing grin at each of the pretty nurses he passed. It had taken him almost three months of strenuous physical therapy to get his leg back in shape and to regain his former physique. He had lost almost 40 pounds during his captivity and had looked like a refugee from a concentration camp when he was rescued. Most of his fingernails and toenails were gone, torn out by his captors in one of their numerous torture sessions. Not only had his left leg been broken in three places but there was a seven inch gash in his thigh that was severely infected and bordering on gangrene.

PART 4

Dear Ma,

I know you're not happy about me deciding to follow in Pop's footsteps and become a cop but this is something I feel that I have to do. Something I was meant to do. Pop was a good cop and I know that's what got him killed. I know how dangerous the job is and that you're scared that something will happen to me like it did Pop. I can't make any promises so I won't even try. All I can do is be as careful as I can be and hope I get a good partner who will watch my back. What you think and feel matters to me but this is still my decision to make. I'll call you Friday as usual.

Love Davey

David smiled as he thought about the next day. He would be starting the police academy and if he was lucky, in nine months, he would be a cop just like his pop. But, he didn't plan on staying a uniformed officer for his entire career like his pop did. He wanted to be a detective. He wanted to be the one in the thick of things and sorting things out to find the bad guys. This was his way of doing his pop justice and honoring his memory the best way he knew how.

Dear Mom,

I can't believe I'm graduating from the academy this week and with honors at that. I'm happy that you and Nicky are going to come out for the ceremony. You'll finally get to meet Hutch. You're going to love him. He's a great guy. If it hadn't been for him I wouldn't have passed a couple of my classes and I sure wouldn't be graduating with honors. Imagine that. Honors. Me. Your little Davey. Hutch and I just clicked, ya know? At first I thought he was just some stuck up rich boy from Minnesota but that was before I got to know him. Turns out he wasn't stuck up, just shy. I know we're going to be best friends forever. Can't wait to see you!

Love Davey

David couldn't keep the crooked grin from spreading across his face as he glanced across the room at his lanky blond roommate. Kenneth Hutchinson, christened Hutch by David almost immediately. His best friend and, hopefully, someday his partner on the force. Together they could and would make a difference. All they needed was the chance.

THE END