You can't lose her, no. Your best friend you can never afford losing. You need her more than you will probably ever need any other friend; so that option is one you will never be able to bear.

But neither can you tell her the truth, at least not for now, at least not until is completely necessary, because what it's to face if the Solises find out about your pregnancy you are not sure you can face.

You know you are running out of time.

You know you are starting to show now.

You know you will be showing even more sooner than you want to.

You know all the lies you have been telling to the people you care about will in a short amount of time blow up on your face.

You know she will be hurt when she finds out you aren't fat but pregnant, you know it will hurt her knowing you didn't trust her enough or that you chose your job over the friendship you two share.

You know she is probably going to be mad at you for a long, long time. You know her: she is your best friend. You know she hates lies (although she is usually caught telling them, she hates it when people she trusts in lies to her).

You know this friendship you can't lose. It's one of the best things that has ever happened to you. She is like family to you, and these lies you've been telling have the potential to ruin the solid, wonderful sisters-at-heart bond that time has created between you two.

This friendship you can't lose, because it's one of the main things that supports you when everything around you is falling apart. And God knows how much you have been needing Gabrielle's support during these last few months, God knows how much you have been needing her to hold you and promise you everything will be okay, God knows how much you have been needing her to listen to all the thoughts that have lately been wandering around your mind and give you some advice. God knows if it hadn't been for the risk of losing your job she would have been the first one you would have run to after finding out Tom had knocked you up again.

But you couldn't tell her. You can't tell her. You are running out of time, but you are not ready yet, because what will be to face after she finds out, you are not sure you can face.

Now it's not your job you are fearing about, but your friendship with her. Carlos you can handle, but losing her you can't.

You lied too much, you ran away from this way too further... And now you don't know what to do. And now you don't know what to expect out of this, because you are sure once she finds out she is going to be so mad at you and so sad and so hurt she will not want to listen to the lame excuses you will come up with.

You can't lose her, no.

So instead of telling the truth, instead of finally facing what needs to be faced, you let things keep going out of control. Instead of coming clean, instead of going to Gabrielle and open up to her, instead of finally breaking the news to her, instead of trying and fix this mess you got yourself into while trying to protect the promotion you have been given, you keep telling lies and hiding away. Because you cannot lose her, and you know that you will (not forever, hopefully, but for some time you will) when she finds out about your pregnancy and figures out you've been telling nothing but lies to her during the last months.

Lose her right now, you can't. Lose her later when this whole thing blows up is a thought that scares you, but right now you don't want to think about it.

Another day goes by, and you haven't told her yet.

Another day goes by, and lies still pile up.