SOYLENT BEER

"Soylent green! Soylent green! Get your Soylent green today!" said Apu, endorsing his new food product. "Get it while its origin is unknown!" Moe then came in to the Kwik-E-Mart. "Yeah, apu, I want one of those ah, soylent green things," Moe ordered. "That will be $29.95 per box," Apu said. "Oh My gentle Jesus!" Moe said in shock. "It can't be that much money!" Apu then said, "It's new. You want the Crack-based cereal instead?" Moe then sighed and said, "Never mind, i'll take the Soylent green."

Moe walked out of the Kwik-E-Mart with his new beer nut substitute. He smiled and said, "This'll make the guys come back to Moe's." he stopped by the road. He laughed. Still, he laughed. He laughed maniacally... until he was run over by a car."Ow, Sonova.."

Meanwhile Homer checked out. "Free and Easy, I'm going to Moe's,' Homer sang, as he saw a man running up to everyone screaming, "Soylent Green is made out of people!" and "The New Soylent green will turn you in what people ate!" Homer scoffed. "Lenny, Carl, let's go to Moe's,' he told Lenny and Carl. They followed them. They walkedhand in hand through a yellow painted sidewalk singing, "We're off to see the bartender! The drunk bartender of moe's! He takes breath tests and eats pets, the drunk bartender of Moe's! While Homer and the gang were singing, Moe put the Soylent green next to the Beernuts. "This'll keep them here. Hey, there's a label on the box. it says 'do not place in liquor or severe side effects will happen, which includes turning into whatever a person we made it from ate. It has a 10 percent chance of of happening.' Wait, there's another zeron next to 10. It has a 100% chance of happening'." Homer then went through the door. "Ah, Mr. Simpson, I've been expecting you," Moe said. "do you expect me to pay?" Homer asked, in a sly voice. "No, Mr. Simpson," Moe replied. "I expect you to drink." After a few hours of drinking, Moe said, "the beer is strong with you, 39-year old Homer. But you are not drunk yet," as Moe handed Homer a beer. That's when Homer noticed the Soylent Green. He picked a few and put it in the beer dispenser. "Homer, No!" Moe yelled. "Free beer!" Homer said. Homer carried the keg acrossd the town, giving everyone--and everything--a glass. Surprisingly, the smell of the Soylent Beer attracted everyone. They all took a glass. Afterwards, Homer came to the bar. "Homer, No!: Moe yelled again. "No what?" Homer asked. Too late. Lenny and a Carl drank a glass, and Homer forced Moe to drink one. Everyone glowed. They were turning into whatever th guy made from Soylent green ate! Moe turned into a cake. "Okay, enough, this pink stuff makes me feel like a princess in an imaginary world, like my barbie dolls. Oops, I said too much." Lenny became a human. "I think this guy was from Silence of The lambs," Lenny explained. "You think you got it bad," Carl said. "Mine's from a cat," Carl explained, for he was a hairball. "Homer's not one of us!" Carl said, spitting out himself. "Get him!" Moe said, who was a vedgetable. "It's obvious mine's from India," Moe said to himself. Homer then rn for his life, out the bar! He then walked 3 feet, then stopped to eat a hotdog. He was soon haunted by people saying, "Drink, Drink!" "No, i won't!" he protested. At the same time, Moe shoved a glass of Soylent Beer down homer's mouth. His last human words were "D'oh!" as he turned into a pig. "ooh, i'm a pig," said Homer, giggling. He started to eat himself. This was when Moe yelled, "Noooo!!! my Best customer!" "Moe, wake up." a voice said. Moe awakened. "Homer!" Moe said, reminiscing from his dream. "It was all a dream," Dr. Hibbert said. "You got run over by a car." Moe gave a sigh of relief. "Thank god. But I'm starving." Dr. Hibbert then said, "We have food. How about some..." he held up a box. "Soylent green?" He finished. Dr. hibbert gave a maniacal laugh.

THE END