Pies


By:Albedosreqium / Soyna
Setting: Crisis Coreish
Rating, Genre and Warnings: T. Cute Romance and destruction of food. OMG, a canon couple.
Characters: Zack and Aerith

Disclaimer: All related Final Fantasy names and characters are copyrighted by the almighty Square Enix©. I do not profit from this endeavour.

Summary and Additional Information:
A contest prize for the :iconwe-luv-finalfantasy: club for :iconmoonie-dreamer:
She wanted something cute with Zack and Aerith and she gave me the keyword 'pie'. The first thing I thought of were the hedgehogs …

Zack tries hard to impress Aerith with his cooking, but pies get in and eat his pies.


Zack felt like crying.

He had worked so hard and now all his effort was spread across the dirty ground and in the hands of a large, red monster.

He had put the bag aside when he encountered the pests. Hedgehog pies were not very strong so he didn't think it was going to take him long to get rid of them. He had even thought that they were a little cute at one point. They were always jumping around on one foot to the next, and their round bodies would jiggle. They were not that threatening compared to the other monsters that he fought.

He had never thought their smile was malicious before, but now … now they weren't so cute anymore.

He had finished off one effortlessly and when he turned around there was another one, bouncing from foot to foot and ruining all his hard work.

He had spent three days baking, and all that effort was now ruined.

The first day it had turned out well, but he had made the mistake of leaving his door open while they cooled on his counter. He was startled to find that Kunsel and Luxiere had entered his apartment and helped themselves to his baking.

He had yelled at them for barging into his apartment and steeling his food. He made them both buy all the ingredients so that he could make more. They came back with enough stuff for him to bake enough for the whole barracks.

Which turned out to be a blessing because he decided to make two pies the next day — one was to keep Kunsel and Luxiere out of his hair and from being tempted to steal his food, and one for the gift that he had planned.

They smelled even better than before. As he predicted, Kunsel showed up at his door and Zack made him beg for his pie. What he had not expected was Genesis who had cornered him as he was trying to leave.

"You are the one that bought all the dumbapples from the stores," Genesis had said.

After a very confusing conversation that ended up with Zack standing in the hallway without a pie, he was forced to go back to his apartment and start all over again.

He was more prepared to make sure that he would make it to the slums with at least one pie. He made three. When Kunsel showed up at his door again, he slammed it in his face. He then made sure that Genesis was not around so he could make it to the train station without anyone stealing all his hard work.

He really wanted to surprise Aerith with a treat, and this time he was going to make sure she got it.

He was nearly at the church when the Hedgehog Pie emerged and he put the bag aside, out of the battle. After all, he couldn't let the monster roam around the slums and attack innocent people.

He did not see the second one that was destroying all his hard work. The Hedgehog Pie's simple bouncing motion drew his eye and he saw it holding one of his pies. He was horrified when he saw that its long, green tongue snaked out of its mouth and … licked it.

Zack leapt at the monster with a loud battle cry. He had to try and salvage the one pie that was left in the bag. It was startled with Zack lunging at it and it bounced to the side — the wrong side. It was not the direction that Zack wanted it to go as it stomped on the pie that was remaining in the bag, then dropped the one in its hand as it tried to retaliate.

Just like that, all his hard work was ruined by a bouncing red monster. He finished off the threat easily enough, but it was too late.

Zack looked at the horrible mess that were once delicious pies that he had slaved over for hours to get just right. He picked up the pans and the crumbly blue leavings that were once apple pies. The bag was torn and ruined.

He thought of going home and trying again. He would have to get Kunsel to buy him more ingredients, but he didn't think there were any more dumbapples around. He could make plain apple pie, but that wasn't special. He really didn't want to ask Genesis and Angeal for the recipes.

He wanted the pie to be special and he wanted to do it on his own.

"Stupid monsters," he cursed as he straightened himself up, holding the dirty plate.

He could see the church and he knew that she would be there. She was always there nursing those flowers. He had grand plans of laying a blanket down by the flowers and serving her a piece of the pie. The blanket that was in the bag was now covered in blue goo that looked far from appetizing. He was going to slice a piece, put it on the china plate — which was now shattered around the bag — and feed her a small piece, watching her enjoy the taste before he would lean in and steal a kiss.

There was no way that he was going to get to do that now. He didn't want to go into the church with an armload of dirty dishes, but he didn't want to litter either. He knew the slums weren't clean but it still didn't feel right discarding the pie plates, broken dishes and bag over into a pile of trash.

He didn't have time to contemplate that thought as something crashed into his side and sent him flying. He was startled that he was caught unaware as he saw three more Hedgehog Pies surrounding the mess and grabbing at what remained of his pie.

"You have got to be kidding," he whispered as he drew his sword again, even though the monsters didn't seem to care about him at all and were more interested in his baking.

It was the most disgusting thing he had ever seen. His pie plates were licked clean and they fought over the last scraps of pie. He watched them in horror as their large, green tongues devoured all the dirty crumbs before they turned and looked at him.

He quickly dived and ensured that the pie was the last thing that the monsters ate. He twirled his sword over his head before he replaced it on its magnetic holster as he went to pick up the only thing that was left remaining.

A simple metal pie plate.

He shuffled his feet as he walked to the church. He had a little money, so he could at least take her out for a piece of pie, but it wasn't going to be the same. He wouldn't be able to steal a kiss among the flowers like he wanted.

He had worked so hard to make them and he didn't think that he made monster bait, but obviously it attracted Hedgehog Pies.

He opened the door to the church and peaked inside, still contemplating of running back to his apartment to start all over again. Aerith was indeed tending the flowers. She turned as she must have heard the door and she gave him a large smile. He couldn't leave now that she had spotted him.

"Zack!" Her whole face lit up when she said his name. He opened the door further but he couldn't help but feel a little down. She was wearing that sundress with the flowers embroidered around the hem. She had her hair down and it cascaded around her shoulders. Her green eyes were bright as she walked towards him. "Zack? You look down. Is everything okay?"

He tried to smile but he looked at the dirty pie plate in his hand and then looked up at Aerith. He held it out to her as she stood in front of him. "I tried to make you something special."

"A plate?" she questioned and tilted her head in confusion as she took the plate from him and examined it.

He sighed heavily and looked at his toes. "Well, there was a pie in it, but it seemed to attract monsters," he said and took it back from her. "It was a dumbapple pie. The apples make it really sweet, even though it is a funny colour."

She giggled and covered her mouth with her hand. "You baked me a pie?"

"I baked three so that you would have dessert for a long time to remember me while I was away on a mission," he said.

He had made three to use as a decoy in case he ran into Kunsel, Luxiere and Genesis, but she didn't need to know that. He had managed to make it to the slums with all three of them, and he did plan on giving them all to her before they were eaten by the monsters.

He looked down at the pan. "But it seemed to have attracted the monsters down here and they ate them all before I could give them to you." He sighed once more and rubbed the back of his head. He stared at his toes again, which he refrained from twisting against the floor like he were a scolded child.

She giggled and stood in front of him. He looked up and met her eyes with his. She didn't look disappointed.

"That was sweet of you, Zack."

She stood on her toes and she kissed him.

It wasn't the kiss that he was thinking of, but he would take it. Her lips touched the tip of his nose before she took a step back with a blush on her face.

"Why don't we go bake a pie at my place?" she said as she tilted her head to the side again. "I don't have dumbapples but I do have some green ones we can use, and you can show me how well you can bake."

He smiled brightly at her suggestion. "Really?"

She pulled away and went back to her flowers and picked up a bag, stuffing the pie plate inside it.

"As long as you promise they won't attract any more monsters," she said as she put the bag over her shoulder.

"I can't guarantee that," he said, remembering all the trouble he had getting it down to the slums with them in the first place. "I'm too good of a baker."

She giggled and walked back up to him again. "I don't know. I have seen monsters lick slime off walls."

He frowned at her but he could see her smile was good-natured. "I could refuse to bake you anything," he said and tried to hold the frown but knew he was failing. "After that insult of my cooking, I don't know if I should." He folded his arms and tried to look defiant.

She rolled her eyes and put her hands on his folded arms and gave him a shove. "What will I have to do to get you to bake for me?" She spoke so sweetly, yet there was a hint of teasing to it.

"How about another kiss?"

He turned to face her again.

She tutted sharply. "If you insist."

He bent down and pursed his lips for the kiss in anticipation when she missed his lips completely and kissed the tip of his nose again.

"I was hoping for a kiss on the lips."

She shook her head and waved a finger at him. "I want you to bake me a pie first, and if it's good enough to attract monsters, I will give you a kiss on the lips."

He laughed, looped his arm around her waist and they started to walk to her house. "I will guarantee that I won't disappoint you."

He was finally going to get a proper kiss from her when she tasted his baking … and then he could take her on a proper date after his next mission, and get more kisses out of her.


Short… sweet, I hope. I haven't written Aerith before, not really. I hope I did her justice. I haven't written het in a long time either but this flowed off the fingers.

Silly Pies eating pies.

And yes, I am aware I manipulated the time line... it suited my needs.