Ok, so... I got into PRaZR (Purple, Red, and Zim Romance). This is your chance to turn back now. If you don't like, then don't read.

That being said... Enjoy.

Summary: When Sizz Lorr stops supplying the Tallest with snacks, an unlikely solution comes in the form of Irk's worst (and shortest) defect in history...

Chapter One

There is no denying that Irkens are a race obsessed with food. From the smallest Smeet to the tallest Tallest, the only things on an Irken's mind 24/7 (or whatever time schedule they lived by) were foods like doughnuts, nachos, and cupcakes. In fact, there was even a whole planet devoted to providing the entire race with their daily meals and snacks, a place called Foodcourtia.

Foodcourtia itself was massive, housing millions of eateries and billions of aliens, Irken and otherwise. The planet had become so popular, in fact, that every handful of years, the combined weight of all its inhabitants created a gravitational field so large that anyone on Foodcourtia couldn't leave for 20 whole years.

The most popular place on Foodcourtia was Schloogors, owned by the mighty Irken fry cook Sizz Lorr. This place was not only famous for having the best food in the universe, but also was proud to say it supplied the almighty Irken Tallest with all their prized snacks. After every Great Foodening, the Tallest would contact Schloogors and demand to have their snacks restocked. It had been like this for years.

"What do you mean you're not selling!"

Tallest Red glared at the large, overweight Irken on the communication screen, one on his antennae twitching in irritation. The Irken on the screen returned the glare full force, his own antennae flat against his head in barely concealed rage.

"Selling! SELLING! I SAID I'm not giving you two anything anymore unless you start paying! This business isn't cheap and ever since the moron left me to deal with TRILLIANS of customers with a low work force, I've been LOSING monies!"

"We don't care!" Purple piped up, shoving his face full of doughnuts. It was the last bag on their ship. Hell, it was their last bag of SNACKS on their ship.

"Listen up, Sizz Lorr!" Red growled, shaking a fist at the screen. "We are the great and mighty Almighty Tallest! We don't HAVE to pay you ANYTHING. Your job as a fellow Irken is to obey our every command!"

"And we say more doughnuts!"

Sizz Lorr hissed, baring his characteristic zipper-like teeth. "No monies, not doughnuts."

The transmission was then cut. Silence fell, long and tense, all eyes glued to the blank screen.

"WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Purple screamed, clutching the last bag of snacks on the entire ship to his chest. "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

"Get a grip on yourself, Pur!" Red roared, shaking his fellow Tallest roughly. A few precious doughnuts fell out of the bag and he cried out in horror, catching them before they hit the ground.

"What are we gonna DO, Red! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO!"

"You!" Red pointed at a random worker. "How much do we owe Sizz Lorr?" Red figured, for the sake of their snack addiction, paying Sizz Lorr was the lesser of evils.

"Um, roughly 395,684,930,493,295,674,106 monies, sir."

Red's jaw dropped, his tongue hanging out of his mouth in complete shock. "That's... A LOT of monies..."

"WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Purple yelled again, clutching his bag of doughnuts tighter to his chest. "There's no way we can pay him back! That's more than every Irken on Irk gets paid COMBINED!"

Red swallowed, pointing at the worker again. "Give us other options for snacks!"

"Um… The Grub Demon?"

"I don't like that place," Purple complained, briefly slipping back to his old self. "They don't serve doughnuts."

"Anyplace that doesn't serve doughnuts is out of the question. More options!"

"But sir! I'm a pilot drone! I don't know of any other eateries-"

"Throw him out the air lock!" Purple yelled, glaring at the worker. Two guards flew in and grabbed the poor Irken, who screamed as he was taken away.

Red sighed, casting his partner a stern look. "I like throwing workers out of air locks as much as the next guy, but was that really necessary right now?"

"I don't care! We're gonna die! We're down to our last bag of snacks! We're gonna run out of snacks and starve!"

"Purple, calm down! We're not going to starve! We are the Almighty Tallest! Irk's most elite members! We rule the planet and soon the universe!"

"But we have no snacks!"

"I know that!" Red snapped, his mind racing. They needed a plan, a new way of receiving snacks for free. Sizz Lorr wanted to be paid now, and his price was too steep. Every other place on Foodcourtia either made horrible food or didn't serve doughnuts. And of course, they'd want monies too.

"Incoming transmission from Earth, sirs," a worker sighed, obviously annoyed. Red moaned, sharing the worker's feelings. Only one Irken was located on Earth and Red really didn't want to deal with him right now.

Glancing at Purple though, who was staring into the half empty bag of doughnuts and about ready to sob, Red figured the distraction was better than dwelling on their current problem. "Put him on. He'll probably try hacking into our line anyway."

The main screen fizzled and soon Irk's shortest, and most defective, ex-invader came into view. "Invader Zim reporting in, my Tallest!"

Red opened his mouth to ask Zim what he wanted this time when he froze. There was a device behind Zim. A device that looked suspiciously like a teleporter. And on that teleporter was a plate of…

"Are those… doughnuts?" Purple asked, an antennae perking up eagerly.

Zim glanced behind his shoulder before turning back to the Tallest and nodding. "Why yes. Yes they are. Zim's latest plan is simply INGENIOUS and you must come see it! Zim is even giving you a snack offering as an invitation! I made them myself!"

The small Irken smiled proudly, not noticing how Red and Purple looked at one another. Red held up a finger to silence Purple, who was about to ask what the other knew he was going to ask; Red was indeed coming up with a plan.

"You made these yourself?"

"Yup! I made them just for you! Neato huh?"

"Yeah… Neato, Zim. May we… try them first?"

"But of course, my Tallest!" Zim typed something on his computer. Seconds later, the plate of doughnuts vanished, only to appear at Red's feet. The red leader glanced nervously at his partner, a silent plea that if something bad should happen to him because of these doughnuts made by the worst Irken in history, Purple was to avenge him. Only when Purple nodded in agreement did Red grab a doughnut and take a bite.

Red's eyes grew wide in disbelief. "Zim, this is… Amazing."

"Of COURSE it's amazing! I am ZIM!"

The rest of the doughnut vanished in seconds. Purple had already helped himself, chewing blissfully as his antennae relaxed to lazily lie against his head. "I didn't know you cooked Zim!"

"Yeah, well, when you sent me on that unnecessary vacation after Operation Impending Doom 1, Sizz Lorr taught Zim to cook. Plus, I needed to learn to cook for myself since the advanced SIR you gave me obviously has a corrupt housekeeping chip."

Red picked up another doughnut, inspecting it as he spoke. "Do you cook other things?"

"Oh sure! Zim makes sandwiches, muffins, cupcakes, waffles-"

"What are waffles?" Purple asked, mouth full of doughnuts. The plate Zim had sent was empty now, not even a crumb to show there were once doughnuts on it.

"Oh, they're amazing! Sure, they're an Earthnoid food, but they're positively delicious! As is what the humans call 'Chinese food'." Zim licked his lips, purring from the memory of this dish that the two leaders had never heard of. Purple looked at Red, his cheeks bulging as he chewed. His partner nodded.

"So Zim, about your plan-"

"You'll come to see it!" Zim yelled, antennae rising to maximum height in excitement. Red forced himself to grin.

"Actually, why don't you come to us and explain it first? Perhaps we could help you make it better."

The smaller Irken took the bait immediately. "Yes! Oh yes, my Tallest! I will be there right away!"

"You! Send Zim our coordinates!" Red yelled, pointing at a random worker. The worker paled in terror.

"Send ZIM our COORDINATES!"

"Yes! Right now!"

"Oh thank you, my Tallest! You won't be disappointed!"

"Oh, I'm sure we won't be," Red stated, waving a hand to signal the workers to cut the transmission. As Zim vanished from the screen, Red turned to Purple and smirked.

"See? I told you we wouldn't starve."

He sank his teeth into his doughnut, unable to believe that it was actually better than the ones they had gotten from Sizz Lorr.

~PRZ~

There were no words that could even begin to explain how happy Zim was right now.

For once, the Tallest actually had time to hear about his plans to bring Earth to its knees. Many times, his leaders were too busy with 'Tallest stuff' (to quote Tallest Purple when Zim tried to tell them about his beaver plan) to even hear a brief outline of his latest scheme.

Like all Irkens, Zim was completely devoted to his Tallest. In fact, Zim believed himself to be the most loyal Invader under Tallest Red and Purple's command. Whatever they told him to do, he did without a single question or complaint. His leaders were the wisest Irkens he knew and he strived for their attention.

Then again, he strived for everyone's attention. Being short wasn't easy on Irk, and besides smeets, Zim was the shortest Irken alive.

But he made up for it. He worked hard, harder than all the other Invaders. He'd blown up the most stuff in Operation Impending 1 (never mind it was on his own planet) and had quit being 'banished' (he still considered it a vacation) to help out everyone in Operation Impending Doom 2.

Who cared if he was short? He was an Invader!

The small Invader tapped a panel in his Voot Cruiser, double checking the coordinates he'd been given. He'd told Gir to guard the house while he was gone. However, Gir had proven time and time again that something was wrong with his security systems. Zim's conclusion was that his advanced SIR was a beta and that the Tallest had given it to him so he could test it.

"With my luck, that wretched Dib is eating cupcakes in my living room." Zim growled and grit his teeth. Oh how he loathed the Dib! The evil human always got in Zim's way!

Zim's latest plan would take care of that though. Oh yes, the Dib, and all his fellow humans, wouldn't know what hit them.

"Destination reached."

Zim fought back a smeetish squeal of joy and stared outside his Voot Cruiser at the Massive, his leaders' mode of transport. The entire ship was enormous, living up to its name, and Zim couldn't wait to enter it. He'd never been on the Massive before (except to pilot it once); only the greatest Irkens were allowed inside it.

And the Tallest had invited him on it! This time Zim was unable to conceal an eager squeak, watching as the boarding area opened to allow him access. His Tallest has requested him to talk to them in person! He hadn't felt this happy since he'd graduated training!

A metal arm grabbed his Voot Cruiser and dragged him in, shutting down his vessel for him to conserve its energy for his ride back. Once it was safe, Zim exited the Voot and stared in wonder at the room around him. True, it was only the holding bay, but it was huge! He felt even smaller than he had when he was a smeet.

Two guards walked in and silently led him through the halls and passageways of the Massive. Zim tried to remember the path they were taking, but soon he found himself giving up the impossible task. However, Zim stopped in his tracks as one specific room caught his eye.

"Is that the Tallest's resting chambers!"

"Yes. Now hurry up," one of the guards hissed, grabbing Zim's arm. Zim smacked his hand away in disgust. How dare he touch the great Invader Zim! It was considered rude amongst Invaders to grab another Irken without permission unless they were in a battle against each other.

The guard glared at him and continued leading him, passing by a room that some workers were preparing. It looked like a guest room of some kind. Maybe the Tallest had a visitor and they'd introduce Zim to them as their best soldier!

Zim became lost in dreams of glory and splendor, not even noticing when the guards stopped and left him in front of a large door. Only when said door opened did the small Irken snap back to reality, his vision obscured by red and purple.

"Ah, Zim! Welcome! I take it you made it here smoothly? No troubles at all?"

Zim looked up, grinning back at his superiors. He smartly saluted before answering Tallest Red's questions. "The trip was easy, sir. My only concern is that Gir might have let an intruder into the base by now."

"Oh, no need to worry about that, Zim," Red replied, stepping aside to allow Zim to pass. "Come on in. You must be tired after your trip. And we have much to discuss."

"That we do," Zim confirmed, walking past the much taller Irkens. He forced himself to contain his wonder as he stared at the control room of the Massive. He was in the presence of his leaders now; he had to stay calm and collected.

The door shut and Red locked it before following Zim, Purple at his heels. "Now, about your plan-"

"Yes, yes! Zim's plan!" Zim turned to face his leaders, unable to contain his excitement. "See, Zim's plan is a simple one, involving a creature known as a 'chinchilla'-"

"Forget it. We don't care what your plan is."

Zim stopped in midsentence, his antennae quirking in confusion. "What?"

"We don't care."

Dread was clawing at Zim's throat and squeedilyspooch, though he didn't know why. "B-But you said-"

"We lied," Purple answered, digging through an almost completely empty bag of doughnuts. Zim stared at his Tallest, unable to comprehend what they were saying.

"Look, Zim, your plans are stupid and they always backfire. We've never really cared about what they were. But we're not here to discuss your plans. We're here to discuss this."

Red pulled a doughnut out of his pak. There was a bite taken out of it, but Zim recognized it as one of the ones he'd sent them earlier. The smallest Irken gulped. "I-I don't understand-"

"You can cook," Purple interrupted, eying the doughnut. Zim suddenly noticed that the bag he was holding wasn't almost completely empty; it was COMPLETELY empty.

"Sizz Lorr has canceled all shipments of snacks to us," Red explained, twirling the doughnut on a slender finger. "We've run out of snacks and, as even a defect like you can figure out, Sizz Lorr not giving us snacks anymore is bad."

"Really bad!"

"So we're reassigning you."

Zim's jaw dropped in shock. "Reassigning! But my Tallest! Earth is so close to conquest! You can't send me to another planet-"

"We're not reassigning you to another planet, Zim," Red growled, glaring down at Zim. "We're reassigning you to a different task."

A thick cable shot out from Red's pak, connecting forcefully with Zim's and lifting him into the air. His pak's status and his current assigned career overcame his vision, making Zim scowl. "Why does it still say I'm in food service!"

"We never bothered changing it," Red answered, his antennae lowering as he frowned in thought. "Let's see, this task needs a name…"

"How about 'Snack Maker'?" Purple piped up, joining his partner. Zim twitched an antenna, not understanding the situation fully just yet. The dread from earlier though was only getting worse.

"No, that doesn't sound right. How about… 'Snack Drone'?"

"I don't like it."

Red narrowed his eyes. "Fine. How about…" He tapped his chin, deep in thought. Zim fought back a whimper. The connecting cord wasn't exactly comfortable and was starting to make him feel ill as the sheer power of Red's pak continued to pulse in his. That and the horrible feeling of dread was now turning his spooch inside out with its force.

"I know! 'Personal Servant'?"

Purple scowled. "Hm… I like it!"

"'Personal Servant' it is." Red smirked, looking at the still suspended Zim. "Personal Servant Zim… Zim, the Personal Servant of the Tallest… It's got a nice ring to it."

"Oo, use the last one! It's longer and sounds cool!"

"Alright, Pur. We'll go with 'Zim, the Personal Servant of the Tallest' then." The cable connected to Zim's pak surged with power as the new data from Red's pak was transferred to Zim's. The small Irken yelped, the new data making his small body tense as its coding flashed before his eyes, his antennae buzzing from the electricity coursing through him. This was different from when the Control Brains had reassigned him; it was harsh, terrifying, painful…

"When this is done, I want doughnuts. Let's order him to make us doughnuts!"

"I don't know, Pur, it looks like reassigning him manually is taking a lot out of him."

"But I want doughnuts!"

"You won't get doughnuts if he passes out, Pur. I'm pretty sure you need to be awake to make doughnuts."

After what felt like hours of agony, Red retracted the cable. Zim collapsed to the floor, his mind and body numb and his vision fuzzy. He realized that Red was right; the reassigning had taken a lot out of him. As his sight faded completely, seven words echoed through his head as he felt himself pass out.

Zim, the Personal Servant of the Tallest.