Okay, I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who informed me that I had accidently put up the document for my other story secrets. I'm so sorry about that. I have been away from FanFiction for a long while however I am planning on writing some more stories and adding some chapters to my other story Secrets. I'm not too sure where I want to go next with that story, if you have any ideas for me just leave a review on this story or on Secrets!
I had come home. I'm safe. Hive has left my mind, I'm safe from everything. Except my own mind.
Before.
I'm not the same. When I got my powers I thought I was a monster, I thought I had become an abomination a creature of pain and death. The force inside me...it was so uncontrollable...so raw I couldn't comprehend what was happening. it felt like noise inside my brain all the time, only I could feel it vibrating against my skull as well. I scared myself and I knew I would scare everyone else, I'm a monster. When Fitz found out he was terrified of me, when the team found out... they needed to be protected. from me. I couldn't control it, it controlled me by fear and pain, and trust me I had plenty of that.
Then.
I accepted what I had become. I was stronger now, stronger than I had ever been! I could take down any enemy and move any mountain. I'm unstoppable. I could protect the people I loved, I was no longer a weak child who hacked her way through life. my powers were strong and so beautiful. the noise, the vibrating became bearable and after a while I could no longer hear it and all I felt was a soft hum inside me. That hum reminded me of what I could do, it reminded me of what I was. I was an Inhuman. I wore the title with pride, that title gave me a purpose in life. It gave me safety and love. I was part of something, something bigger than SHIELD, bigger than me. I was Inhuman.
Now.
I don't think I'm a monster, I know I'm a monster. I'm not strong, I'm swayable. My powers aren't beautiful, there're disgusting. I'm disgusting. I hurt everyone I love, I became what I fear and I liked it. That's what makes me sick, I liked it. When I think about it my stomach does backflips and I want to vomit. I make myself sick. I can't imagine what everyone else thinks of me. I want to leave. I can't be in the presence of the people that I hurt. They must think I'm a monster, and their right. I am. I turned my team of Inhuman's against each other. I lied to them. I ruined the base. I hurt Phil. I manipulated Lincoln. I chocked Fitz. I worked with grant ward. I Almost killed Mack, the worst part is if May hadn't shot me I think I may have killed him. I twisted everything I knew and threw it in their face, I threw the trust they had in me in their face.
The memories and thoughts plague me; I don't want to close my eyes. I'm nervous and fidgety and I can't think straight, Simmons says it's just the withdrawal symptoms. My team- no. I'm not part of the team anymore, I threw that away when I joined HIVE...The team is afraid of me still, I may be in the med bay and the doors may be unlocked but I know that they are watching me on the cameras ready to put me down if needed. I don't blame them.
My hands start to shake uncontrollably and bile rises in my throat making me want to puke.
"not again" I whisper to myself,
I start feeling an immense pressure in my arms and the noise in my head starts and its louder than ever, my head pounds as it vibrates against me. This isn't even the worst of it, this time I see pictures, flashes in my head. I don't only see everything, I hear every word, I feel every emotion and I feel all the pain.
I'm hiding in the bathroom of the playground, Ward is outside and I know he's hydra, and I know he's going to kill me.
I bring my knees up to my chest, trying so hard to block it all out, block out the fear, stop my stomach from twisting and turning. this feeling, its true soul crushing fear.
Fitz, he's telling me that I'm Inhuman, that there's something wrong with me, the buzzing in my head gets louder and louder. The vibrating in my skull gets so intense it hurts, I grab my head trying to make it stop, Fitz keeps talking but I can't hear him, the buzzing is so intense I can't control it. The lamp behind me explodes "no!" I scream and when I look up I see Fitz run for his life, run away from me.
I throw my legs over the side of the bed and grab my head, I can feel the vibrating and I don't know if I can control it. I'm so weak.
The blood loss is still affecting me, the tube that is in my arm pumping more blood into my system pulls when I move my hands to my head, it hurts but not quite as much as the buzzing against my skull.
My mother is holding me, she's sucking the life out of me, I'm so weak. My skin has turned gray and I fall to my knees, my legs can't even hold me. I try to raise my arm and blast her but I can't. I'm dying and my mother is the one killing me.
I fall forward, all strength from inside me is gone. The tube gets ripped out of my arm and I can't move. I'm helpless as I lay on the med bay floor. I'm dying. I'm so weak I can barely move my arm, and when I try all I feel is intense pain. The room starts to shake and I have no power to stop it. Every fiber in my body hurts and all I can do is cry.
My arm is outstretched and I feel the familiar release of the buzzing noise when I use my powers, I can hear Fitz struggle for air as I strangle him with my powers.
"stay away! We don't want to hurt you...any of you but we will, this is your last warning! Next time I snap your next" I twist my hand making the grip on his neck even tighter before I let go and watch as he falls to the ground gasping for air.
I feel worthless, I can move now but what's the point. I'm such a monster that I would try to kill my friend. I look up to see an icer on the bench in the lab, all I have to do is get there. The shaking of the room becomes more and more intense and my arms start to hurt a lot when I try to stop it. Slowly I crawl towards the door, the shaking continues and my arms hurt even more, my ribs even begin to hurt. Getting to the door I reach up and unlock it, automatically the door opens.
I hear myself screaming, Mack is screaming as well. I'm standing over him, his face is bloody and bruised and I'm blasting his chest, I hear the sound of one of his ribs crack but I continue to blast him. His screaming becomes even louder and so dose mine. I intend to kill him, but not instantly, I want to send a message to SHIELD that reads stay away. I increase the strength of my blast and I hear two more ribs crack. As I'm about to finish him off I get thrown off of him and a pain so intense runs down my arm and spreads through my chest, I've been shot.
I scream so loudly, the pain is so strong, the room shakes even more now. My entire right side is in agony, a grab my arm to try and make the pain go away. I'm determined to get that icer! I Crawl towards the bench the pain doesn't subside. Screaming again the room shakes even more and things start to fall.
The sound pieces my ears, it's so loud I want to cover them but I can't. It feels as if time has stopped and I can no longer move or feel anything except the excruciating pain in my stomach, I stumble back a bit. Looking down at my hand I feel a warm liquid flow through my fingers, red and sticky. its blood. I look up at Quinn, I'm confused and scared. The breath catches in my throat I can't breathe I'm in so much pain now. He takes two long strides towards me, he holds me close hushing me. I choke on the blood that rises to my mouth. I hear another loud noise as he shoots me again, the pain is so great my mind has stopped working, time feels like its slowed. He places me on the ground. Choking on my own blood I black out because my body can no longer handle the pain.
I scream so loud it hurts my ears, I can feel it all! except this time I don't black out, I continue to feel it all. I clutch my side so hard it hurts; my nails dig into the skin but it doesn't stop. I can feel the lumps where the scars are, I rip my shirt scratching at my skin. I need the pain to stop, it has to stop.
The room shakes so much tables start to fall over and the icer falls down next to me, I pick it up. this is the only thing that will make my pain go away.
"Daisy!" I hear Lincoln yells my name,
the tears run down my face, I still feel it, it hurts so much! I see everyone behind him Coulson, May, Fitz, Simmons and even Mack. I pick up the icer and for a second the expression on Simmons face changes to fear, fear that I will hurt her. I don't blame her, if I was her I would shoot me on the spot.
May understands though, she knows what I'm going to do.
"Daisy no! Please" she rushes towards me but it's too late I raise my arm and aim the gun at my head. I pull the trigger and everything goes black.
