A/N: For those of you wondering, I have not given up on fanfic. I know, you're probably sick and tired of waiting for me to update all of my other ones (*cough cough* Darkness of the Soul), and I wish that I could update faster… but unfortunately, my motivation has left me here alone with nothing but my dark thoughts.

I have been having a rough time and I wont go into further detail on that, but I recently remembered how much writing used to help me. So I decided to try my hand at writing again. So that is what this is… I will try and update my other ones soon, but for now I wrote this to try and get back into the swing of things.

I got super into anime over the last year, and so my little brother gave me the idea for this little vignette. It's inspired by FMAB, specifically by the episode 'Backs in the Distance'. I really hope that you enjoy it! Please leave a review and tell me what you think :D

Warning: possible triggers, dark themes, angst.


To Create and Destroy

Equivalent exchange. The Law of Conservation of Mass. All is one, one is all. Each rule points in one direction, shows him one undeniable truth. If something is created, something else must also be destroyed.

He learned this when he tried human transmutation, when he lost two of his limbs and his little brother's body. He learned this by watching Nina, by seeing her be created into something new before his eyes only to be so brutally ripped from them in the end. And now he sees it with Scar.

One arm creates, the other arm destroys. There is not one without the other.

He told Winry that her hands were not made to take life, but made to give it back. She had given him back his arm, his leg, and his life. She had given him hope, with her bright smile and her shining blue eyes. He holds her smooth, pale hand in his own calloused one, remembering that day.

How much has happened since then? How much more was going to happen until it would all be over, until he and Al could be at peace?

His hands have done so much destroying. He pushed his own father out of his life. He convinced Al to do the impossible, taking Al's body away from him in the process. He let Nina die, wasn't strong enough to protect her. He killed Hughes off, got the man involved in something that he never should have and left his daughter alone without a father, his wife without a husband.

Maybe he hadn't been the one to pull the trigger, but the blood is still on his hands all the same.

He is so much different from Winry's beauty, from her purity. Where she smiles, he frowns. Where she forgives, he holds anger and hurt deep in his heart. He is not sure he would have been strong enough to put down the gun.

His hands are meant to destroy. He can only dream that Winry is the person that is meant to right his wrongs, to put back together what he has destroyed and to fix the broken pieces of himself that he has left behind.