I do not own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does. I just enjoy playing in his world.

Reviews appreciated.

Written for the LJ community, naruto_contest, for week #42 - scapegoat. WINNER.


THE LATEST PLAN

"Oi. Weren't you listening? I said it would be difficult to convince me, not that it couldn't be done."

Shikamaru had heard the first time, he was just thinking. Would negotiating his help be more or less troublesome than simply taking the blame? It was difficult to calculate. So many of the variables depended on chance, it was impossible to know for sure.

He closed his eyes and placed his hands in their optimal formation in his lap under the table. After a moment, he decided. Plan for the worst case scenario. He sighed and opened his eyes.

"Fine. Ino's unlisted phone number." Shikamaru offered.

"That's not much for an opening bid. You want to waltz into Sand and steal Temari away from her overprotective brother, who happens to be the Kazekage as well as a jinchuriki. I think I'm going to need a bit more than her phone number."

In fear of losing his only sister, Gaara had ordered Temari back to Sand and revoked her ambassador status. Temari had acquiesced and returned home. The first time he snuck into Sand and found her, she didn't even look surprised. She had angrily asked what had taken him so long. He was hooked.

"A blind date." He counter-offered.

"A blind date, her number, and an extra key to her apartment."

"A blind date and her number. I don't even have a key." This was becoming more and more bothersome.

"A blind date, her number, and the combo to her locker at the hospital."

"Pervert." He considered the proposition. Ino might kill him for doing this. However, Ino and Chouji now adamantly refused to help him after the three of them got caught the last time. It was their fault that he needed to recruit someone who would make a good distraction. He gave in. "You're taking the blame for this."

Kiba smirked. "Fine."

This was either going to the most brilliant thing he'd ever pulled off or it would be the dumbest thing he'd ever tried to do. Either way, he couldn't be bothered to care as long as he got to see Temari again.

Another sigh. Their relationship was growing increasingly problematic to maintain. On the other hand, he wouldn't have it any other way. Half the fun was devising new ways to meet up and sneak away without Gaara knowing.

The other half of the fun occurred after they got away.