Tatsumi had graduated rather early, but on a considerably good note. He had gotten a decent degree, and all that. But that didn't automatically give him a promising career, or anything like that. It was just one small thing he could brag about on his job application form that he had written time and time again, which he had stressed over to the point of not even wanting to see nor even hear the words "job" or "work.
It wasn't a lack of talent on his part. At first, he had applied for a part-time job in a supermarket as a cashier, since he wanted to have at least some sort of a certain income source before pursuing his career. That job continued for a few weeks without much hassle, but he quit after a series of things happening that were too much for him. The events were as follows:
Tatsumi had been working innocently on a rather rainy Saturday morning. The shop was hustling and bustling with the usual people going on a weekend grocery shopping spree. Senior citizens choosing vegetables in a leisurely manner, children begging for their favourite confectionery, worn out parents telling their children to act sensible, so on and so forth.
The checkout area was filled with people dumping their week's worth of food and supplies there, which had unnerved Tatsumi considering that he wasn't much of a people person. As his hands were busy scanning items and punching numbers into the cash register for dozens of customers who kept coming to him as if they were part of a never ending cycle, he began to feel very pressured.
"Hurry up, will you, kid?" A man in his middle ages snapped at him in an irritated tone, causing him to jump and press the wrong number on the cash register.
He mentally cursed as he apologised, not wanting to cause any drama. He was always sensitive to criticism from a young age, which was a trait that he disliked and saw as a great inconvenience. "I'm sorry, sir, I've made a mistake with the cash register and this may take a little time." Tatsumi promptly attempted to fix his mistake, but the man wasn't pleased with him.
"Young kids these days don't know how to do anything right! In my days, kids were.." Tatsumi didn't listen to the rest of the sentence as he sighed. "Easy to say when you're not the one being shouted at by society to get a job.." He thought. "Get moving, lad!" The man continued to rant about how society had changed since his time, how youths of today were a bunch of whiny snot-nosed brats, how his generation was superior, gathering people's attention from all across the store. Tatsumi felt blood rush to his cheeks, making him hurry up and bidding the customer goodbye and a safe journey home.
Tatsumi didn't leave straight after the incident, though. He felt that if he quit then, he would leave the impression that today's generation of young people were weak and pathetic. A week after the incident, a new employee with a cheery smile had been hired part-time. She was a natural people-pleaser, who could make even the grouchiest of customers smile.
Tatsumi wasn't jealous or anything, but he felt like she was much better at doing her job than he was. After all, the employees would turn to her whenever a stubborn customer had a complaint and would not back down. Soon enough, the new employee became popular with her fellow workmates and customers. Tatsumi felt pathetic for some reason, and decided that it would be for the best if he left his part-time job. Sure enough, he was allowed to quit and he went in search of a different job, but reality was hitting him hard.
McDonalds was relatively easy to get hired at, but Tatsumi couldn't do anything without triple-checking what he was about to do. He couldn't afford to suffer from embarrassment from a stupid mishap again. Sometimes uneasiness and anxiety would take over him while he was working, which would make him stop dead in his tracks and just stand there doing nothing. He would snap back to his senses when a slightly annoyed customer would ask him to hurry up and take their order, or when a workmate would tell him to get the hell out of the way before they "McSocked" him in the nose.
Eventually he was fired when he kept having random flashbacks about his past experiences and dropped fries, Mcflurrys or whatever food that was unfortunate enough to end up in his shaky arms. "That was a huge Mcfailure.." Tatsumi laughed at himself, in attempt to cheer himself up. It didn't work well.
Tatsumi had attempted to get a permanent job at restaurants, department stores and whatnot, but his efforts were thrown out the window each time when he would have trouble conversing with other workmates and customers, or have a panic attack in the middle of his shift. After countless attempts at finding a job, he decided that it would be useless to even try. His fears were controlling him more than he controlled them.
Tatsumi shut himself up into his apartment, neglecting his daily needs and self care. There was no food in the fridge, no shower gel, nothing to satisfy his needs. Tatsumi didn't care what happened to him anymore.
"Might as well let myself die and rot in my house, no one would know that I even existed, that would be great. One day, some mischievous kids might come into the house to test their bravery. Imagine the looks on their faces when they see my corpse..."
Tatsumi started to talk to himself. He looked a mess, in brutal honesty. Hair unwashed, dull, lifeless eyes, callouses on his hands from practicing writing many job applications and speeches. He sat on his bed in his vest and shorts, considering if it was worth getting up to find another job, or even go shopping for supplies for him to maintain a healthy lifestyle. However, he decided that lying around in his room was better for himself. Fatigue filled every cell in his body, even though he hadn't exercised in days. He gave into the sleepiness after a brief struggle, falling asleep entangled in the bedsheets.
The construction workers drilling holes in the asphalt and a sense of mild hunger roused Tatsumi from his slumber. He didn't seem to look that refreshed even after sleeping for some time. Was it a few hours, or more than a day? Who knows, he had stopped looking at a calendar in weeks. He rubbed his eyes, scrambling out of bed. The clock read 10:30am, and he checked his phone for the date.
"Already mid-December? Time flies," Tatsumi's stomach growled hungrily, reminding him that he hadn't eaten anything for a while. He waddled to the fridge, in search of something to eat. "Let's see.. Yoghurt? Shit, it's expired." Tatsumi furrowed his brows, grimacing and throwing the yoghurt into the trash. He dug deeper into the fridge, to no avail. "Shit, shit, and more shit!" Tatsumi growled, as he threw out rotten apples, withered greens, mouldy cheese and more food unsuitable for consumption. "My fridge is full of shit!" He bellowed to no one in particular.
Obviously, there was no response, leaving him a little embarrassed that he had yelled something so weird in his own dirty kitchen. The floor was littered with rubbish and the expired food that was violently thrown out, the blender looked like somebody had vomited in it, a random unpleasant brown stain decorated the wall, and it was safe to say that the bin was overflowing with what looked like a mixture of food packages and horse shit. Plus, the stench was overwhelming. Tatsumi gagged a little, reminding himself that even if he were to continue living a horribly unhealthy lifestyle, he should most definitely clean the kitchen.
Soon, his feeling of responsibility was replaced with dread. He had nothing to eat, which meant that he had to buy something. That supermarket that he had worked for was out of question, however. It would be way too awkward, and he couldn't be bothered to walk to the other supermarket that was further away from his residence. Tatsumi grabbed his jacket and walked out of his house, deciding to choose where to buy his food as he took a stroll down the area.
"Fishmonger? Not in the mood..." Tatsumi walked past the baker's, the butcher's and the fishmonger's, not taking any interest in those products. He asked himself what he wanted to eat, and came up with nothing but junk food. "I guess it's good once in a while. It can't hurt to treat myself.."
Tatsumi desperately tried to remember where he could buy some unhealthy food. "Fries sound good, or I could maybe have a burger. Or..."
Tatsumi's footsteps came to an abrupt halt. He had found what he had gone on his quest for. The majestic sign read, "Verona's Pizza" in red, luminous cursive, along with grassy green neon lights in the shape of stars that would light up at night. The pleasant aroma of freshly made pizza wafted into Tatsumi's nostrils, causing him to take a deep breath. Without hesitation, Tatsumi marched in.
Inside, the pizza place had about a dozen people, either eating or ordering their greasy pizzas packed with flavour. Above the counter, vibrant photos and prices in red lettering could be seen. Tatsumi eyed the menu, which listed off an array of different toppings. Pineapple, ham, pepper, extra cheese, seasonal leafy greens, the list went on and on. His mouth began to salivate, as his stomach threatened to growl in anticipation of a filling meal. It wasn't long before everyone except him was done ordering.
Tatsumi hadn't talked to someone in days, which he had only realised when he was face to face with the cashier, a man of medium build and dreadlocks. "Can I take your order?" The man, whose name turned out to be Bill, according to his name badge, asked in a gruff voice. Tatsumi gulped, taking a few deep breaths to relax himself. "Uh, I'll take the seafood pizza, please." Tatsumi couldn't help but to stutter, face turning red from embarrassment. He hastily paid Bill the price for the pizza, before standing in a corner to wait for his meal.
Thankfully, no one was staring at him, since they were too busy indulging in their food. His eyes darted from side to side, as he felt incredibly self-conscious. It was irrational, he was the one who knew that better than any other person. Still, it felt mentally exhausting to hold a conversation with a cashier for the sake of ordering a pizza.
"Sir?" Bill called out for his customer, which made Tatsumi jump out of his skin. "Your order is ready. Have a good day!" Tatsumi was handed a square pizza box, with heat radiating from it as well as the appetising smell of his pizza. He mumbled a thanks as he took the box into his hands gingerly, as if he was holding a newborn baby, and exited Verona's Pizza. He had no intention of eating in front of people.
Just as Tatsumi exhaled after being relieved from the tense feeling he had all the while he was in the shop, he became much more aware of his surroundings. The sky was a tasteful shade of blue, even in the cold winter afternoon. Some weeds grew in between the cracks on the road, which made him smile for no reason. He immediately looked around to see if there were any people that saw him smile to himself. To his surprise, a young man about the same age as him was sitting beside Verona's Pizza, stuffing his face with seafood pizza like there was no tomorrow. He chewed vigorously, with a slightly angry expression. Tatsumi wondered what his circumstances were, knowing that most people would rather sit in their kitchen than on the sidewalk.
"What are you looking at?" The male snapped his head towards Tatsumi's direction, in an indignant manner as if a student had been caught copying homework by the class nerd. Tatsumi's heart gave a leap. A strange sensation gripped him, making him excited and calm at the same time.
"Sorry, I might have seemed creepy. I'm Tatsumi, what are you called?" Tatsumi stared at the other male dead in the eye.
"I'm Lubbock. People call me Lubba. What do you want from me?" Lubbock twirled a finger around his hair, which had a beautiful green colour. He averted his eyes as he was forced to hold an unexpected conversation.
"What do I want from you?" Tatsumi had gotten himself stuck into yet another awkward situation. "Well, I could say that I'm curious about-" before he could finish, Lubbock was peering into the box that Tatsumi was cradling in his arms.
"You got seafood too?" Lubbock had a hungry glint in his eyes that looked up at Tatsumi's, as if trying to beg him for the pizza.
"Uh, yeah." Tatsumi opened the box, lowering himself into a sitting position beside Lubbock. "We could share this box. Not like I'm that hungry anyway."
This wasn't exactly true, seeing as it was Tatsumi's first meal in days, but he felt obliged to share it, when Lubbock stared at him in an innocent manner with his eyes glinting like jade. "Are you serious? Heck yeah!" Lubbock punched the air with his fist in a childish manner. "But do we have to eat on the sidewalk? You could eat at my house, I mean." Tatsumi suggested, half of the reason being that he felt that Lubbock would be able to relax if he ate indoors, with the other half being that he simply didn't fancy sitting on the sidewalk where a dog could have done its business.
So, I guess this is it. My first (proper) fanfiction. I hope it wasn't too cringey to read. Feel free to point things out, or anything like that.
