Rated M

Yes, I know. Taboo, right? When it gets around the holidays, I start getting weirder and weirder, so be prepared. I couldn't' find anything to occupy my time except writing and one of my favorite authors had written an IZ story. If I tell you guys who follow my stories anything, it's that when you surround yourself with specific people or what they do, you start to inherit some of their qualities.

Don't worry. I only threw this story out because I didn't have anything better to do, now that I have finished one story and half way through the others. Uhhh, is there anything else I forgot to mention? The next Our Love chp will be out in about one to two weeks from now. Disclaimer: Jhonen Vasquez is the creepiest dude on Earth, but he still owns this show. NOW, on to the story.


Zim twitched his eye at his insane GIR unit. Gir had managed to blow the stove through their wall and out their neighbors. He rubbed his temples in between his fore-middle claws, trying to relieve the pressure of the headache he was sure to get. Of course the house-ship unit would repair itself, but he was sure that sooner or later, Gir would find a way to finally destroy the unit completely and dance in its ashes.

"Gir! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I like tacos!"

"Uhhh! Can't you for once keep yourself from blowing our cover and allowing the human race to find and capture us?"

"I'm sorry master; I was hungry and wanted to make some quesadillas."

"You could have just come down and asked me to pick you up some. It would not have been such a problem. I still cannot see why you, a robot, so need food in a stomach that does not exist."

Zim softened his face, knowing if he continued to rant and rave about, he would cause a migraine that wouldn't leave his head for days. He turned his tall frame to the elevator to his lab. He had considerably grown during his years on the godforsaken planet known as Earth.

He would become an Almighty Tallest once he made his way back to Irk. Everyone on his planet grew sooner or later, but only those fate chose grew to the size of eight feet. He was five and seven twelfths. The two Almighty Tallest were only seven. To the humans, in fact, he was at an acceptable for a "boy" his age. He was in Mid Skool and rejoiced with the factor he would reign over Irk with a clawed fist.

The current Tallests shivered in terror when they had found out that he had gained height. They had tried to trick him, tried to persuade that he wouldn't ever be able to make it back to Irk unless he conquered Earth. But when he had been struck by that freak lightening, he had never been the same.

See, the Pak he was given to at birth had been malfunctioned, a joke by two extremely careless and stupid Irks that had done the job of cleaning and connecting the Paks to the backs of newchild Irks, which they had done correctly until they had gotten bored one day and deliberately fucked with the connection of the Pak, then attached it to one newchild just to see how bad the damage would be in doing so. Zim had been the unlucky participant and for 70 years, he was a mockery of how Irks shouldn't act like.

But when a lightning strike, at which Zim had credited to Mother Ircania, had popped the back of his Pak, it reconnected the wires so that Zim could think correctly and have better thought process, which, ironically, made him just as smart as the Almighty Tallest, if not smarter.

But not to digress from the subject at hand, he had realized that his so called "mission" was actually just a ploy to get rid of him. Well, he was growing and, while he was still at the command of the Tallests, he could easily overpower them both with his intellect.

He walked into his improved lab. He had actually taken the hint from Tak when she made her way to the planet. So he decided to take bits and pieces from the orbit and expand upon his new and developed mind. He recreated his lab to that of Tak on a good day.

"Computer."

"Yes, master?"

He reprogrammed the sarcastic and cynical encoding and rearranged it so that it still had that same annoying programming, but that it would only show once in a while and still do as he commanded. In turn, he made sure that he was calm whenever he spoke to it, lest it come back.

"Can you please repair the house while I am away? I must make my way to the retched Skool. I still do not understand why the boards of education see a need to teach them this useless material. I cosign with the rest of the students there, there is no point in teaching them this if they aren't going to use it in the rest of their lives."

"Maybe there will be someone who aspires to be everyone's boss."

"Computer?"

"Sorry, master, had a relapse."

Zim shook his head. He made his way to the front door grabbing his clothes he wore for the past years on Earth.

"Gir? Do make sure that the only thing that you do today is sit on that couch and watch T.V. The house is to repair itself and I don't want you messing around that may hinder it. This time of year is to be the season of cold weather and frozen rain."

Zim despised this time of year, the water tricking him the first time it fell as snow. He had walked outside, stuck his hands in the powdery white ice. Because his reptilian-like skin, his blood changing to the climate that it was presented with, so his body temperature didn't melt the snow immediately, especially when he couldn't repress the feelings of fun he felt and began rolling in it, but the moment he walked back inside and it melted, he was in a violent flurry of pain.

"Never the hell again will I be tricked by this sudden change of weather."

He began his walk to Skool, waiting for the moment when Dib would make his appearance and annoy him to death with his constant blathering.

"ZIM!"

Speak of the devil's brother and he shall blather.

"What is it today, Dib? I do not believe I have caused anything to disrupt Earth's pathetic human race."

"Shut it, alien scum. I know for a fact that you are planning something that will cause a riot."

"Where is the little devilish creature of the name Gaz?"

"You will be destroyed-eh? Why would you be looking for my sister?"

"No reason."

In fact, Zim was wary of the lithe creature his arch nemesis called sister. She was what the human's called a cold and unfeeling person, one that you would stay away from, but couldn't because you wanted to change that frozen persona. Zim thought it was actually very attractive. Most of the females of Irk were cold, but Gaz took the cake.

She was the coldest, when crossed, ruthless, when focused, merciless, when aggressive. She was the perfect female and Zim feared not what she could do to him. He was way stronger than any human and he could easily overpower her, but he was afraid of the way she would take to him. He wanted her, but Irk customs of mating was ruthless at the beginning. And he was unsure, even though females on his planet chose the strongest or those they saw fit to protect their young, if she would accept his proposal. Ahh, the thought of Gaz and his young made the Irken smirk.

Newchilds, babies, whatever you wanted to call them, were born the traditional mated way or the industrialized way. The traditional way was for those who would work within Irk and help the community, those raised by parents, but those done the industrialized way were direct descendents from soldiers and were trained from birth. He was the industrialized one, one that would work as a soldier, Elite, or Commander. Had he been done the correct way from birth, he would have made his way to Commander, his intellect and strength working his way to the top until he grew and became an Almighty. Oops, we have digressed again.

"She's coming soon; she said she needed batteries for her game. Leave my sister alone, you got that, Zim? I will not allow her to be swayed by your mind control powers."

"Dib, are you sure we talk of the same person? This is Gaz we're speaking of, right, earth monkey?"

"…You're right. Gaz is just too smart for you. Especially with the fact that you haven't conquered Earth yet and it's been four years since you've been here. By Earth standards, you're thirteen, but I know you are way older."

Zim nodded his head, letting Dib win the argument for the sake of getting him to shut up.

Then she walked right up to his side, the game in her hands mashing away. He really didn't know what she was playing. But he had done his research on what she did play and found what he had been looking for. She would have the choice, even if that meant he would lose his head.

~A~D~

Zim sat bored and just about to nod off. He really didn't even care what was coming of his teacher's mouth. Ms. Bitters had decided to follow her class and taught at the Mid Skool.

"Well, tweens, today, we are going to experiment on how hydrochloric acid being drank by hamsters affect them."

And, of course, she was still giving them lessons on things that not only didn't make sense, but would scar them for life. Good thing Zim tortured back on Irk for a living.

"But before we get to the fun, I have to show the video on being safe on sex, although none of you will live long enough to even begin a family with all this pollution in the air, slowly killing you all and melting your little lungs off. Well, lets begin."

She pressed play on the wall as the screen came down. The moment it came on, a man in about his forties was sitting on a desk.

"Well, hello. I see I will be teaching the young men and women of tomorrow trying to learn about the outside world. Well, since I know a little something, let me tell you about sex."

Some kids looked taken aback, as if they were really being taught this.

"As you see in the diagram, the male and female body is very different. The reason for that is that the male and female body fits like a key to a keyhole, male being the key and the female oh you get my meaning. Let's take it to Jack and Sally for a demonstration."

For the next thirty minutes, the tweens vomited and screamed at the screen, squishing noises and moaning coming from the projector. The only ones that weren't freaking out were Dib, Zim, and, of course, Gaz, who was too busy playing her game to notice. The man came back on, but most of his clothes were disheveled as he sweated.

"O-okie-dokie then, why don't we give a hand to Jack and Sally who gave us their time to demonstrate the reproduction process of man and females. If you noticed, Jack was wearing a condom. Whenever you have sex, my dear friend the condom can help in protection. Remember when you were told by your friends that girls or boys had cooties. There are things that are the same that you can catch by not being protected."

Zim was pretty sure he really didn't want to hear anything else. He was already allergic to water and BBQ sauce. If there was anything else on this planet that would certainly disgust him, he did not want to know about.

He was just about to lay his head for a bit of unscheduled re-energizing when he caught Gaz staring at him to the left. He poked his head up, but she had already turned away, a blush that had began red then morphing to magenta due to her skin being somewhat pale.

He was confused, his camouflage eyes flexing in concentration. He had also picked up on Tak's invention to completely camouflage the Irken body. He checked the data in his Pak and when he came up to the word blush and what it stood for, he smirked at her. When she turned to him, the smile caught her off guard and she blushed even harder, her body shifting continuously.

"Maybe Gaz wouldn't be so against our union. Hmmm…"

The wheels turning in his mind were so fast, you would think his brain would turn into a car and zoom out of his ears. Well, his fake ones.

~A~D~

Gaz walked into her room and slammed her door. Dib was being insufferable again and she had to get away from him. Their father was pulling an all-nighter at the secret lab.

"Why must everything in this world be so stupid?"

She then remembered why she didn't have her game. She had something very important that needed attending, her body.

When she caught Zim staring at her, her body went downhill. What baffled her was why Zim? He was an alien, for god's sake! She thought she would be wet for her brother before she would ever even be attracted to Zim. But when he grew and started showing human qualities that made girls swoon, she had been one of the first to fall into the loop, but the only one to not show it.

Then again, she and Zim shared much in common. Her brothers was on their most hated list, the cared nothing for the human race, and she was assured he began sprouting new brain cells that were beginning to rival her own.

"Well, can't be too surprised. They always said that your soul mate was just you in another body."

Speaking of body, hers was calling out to her like it had a megaphone. She panted as she thought of Zim shirtless. She could very well see abs under the T-shirt they made him wear during gym, just like the other girls could. His legs were veined.

He was like a god in that body and she was his mistress. She would love to be under all that muscle. She was surprised Irkens actually had that. Maybe it was Earth's effects. Damnit, once again, we're getting off subject.

She twisted her hand into her shirt, gripping her breast gently and kneading her buds. She tiptoed to her bed and bounced heavily on the sheets as she pleasured herself. She rubbed her legs together, the itch between growing even more. She reached under her shirt and began working her chest till she was sure they would have bruises.

She kicked off her shoes and strained against the bed sheets, hoping to get a better feel for the pleasure that was running through her. She ripped her shirt off and tore straight through her Vampire Piggy bra(A). Her breast bounced happily in the cool air. Despite being the fact that she really didn't each much and hated milk, she still grew C cups and her body was pretty curvaceous, not one bone sicking out. She said she was just getting fat from all the pizza, but she had been this way since she turned 11, starting with the breasts.

She slithered her hand in between the valley of her breasts, before curving it inward to rub and cup her mounds. She hated this, really. She was touching herself for an alien…and yet she couldn't stop.

"Gaz, I gotta go out. I'll be back before nine; the Swollen Eyeball said they went investigating."

"O-okay, just go, damnit!"

She wasn't going to get distracted from the fantasy of the tall, green Irken dominating her body in ways she never experienced and only knew from what other people blathered on about.

It all happened at the same time. Dib had just closed the front door, her hands making their way to her panties, and her window opening, unexpectedly.

"Hmm. Gaz-mate seems to have started the festivities and had not invited me. We will just have to change that."

Gaz would have screamed had she not been so shocked. The bo-errr-alien she had just been fantaszing about just climbed through her window unannounced.

"Gaz?"

"Zim! What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was going to ask you something very important, but it seems that you are busy."

"NO!"

Zim was surprised, just as Gaz. She didn't expect that to come out of her mouth and she sure as hell didn't want him to stay…did she?

…No. She wanted that green alien to come into her window and have her ride him. I could probably be her addled mind, but she could sort through that after she was done getting what she wanted.

"Come in Zim. Since you wanted to be so annoying, I have something that I want you to do."

Zim seemed taken aback. He was sure he would have been killed once she got out of her stupor. Instead, she was inviting him into her room. He remained wary, making sure to keep the window open for a quick escape. He was not going to get into it with the female of his choosing.

"So, what was it that you wanted again?"

"Well, I have a-a proposition for you Gaz."

"…Go on…"

He had been so confident earlier. Well, apparently, that confidence flew straight out the window when he was presented with the body of the female he wanted. It was apparent that she didn't care and allowed him to look. He thought possessively that if any other had tried to look upon this beauty, their eyes would be ripped out by him, personally.

"Well, I am going to be one of the Tallest. I will be ruler of the Irken world and though it is not tradition, I would like someone by my side, someone with unquestioned strength."

She felt like she knew where this was going and smirked evilly in her mind. So this was his reason for coming. She looked upon her soon-to-be Irken lover and noticed his nervous glancing between her and the floor that made her smirk even wider. Where was the overly confident alien she had known for years?

"I-I propose that you be that someone. I c-could give you status, I could sustain your lifespan. You would be challenged by other females, but I will give you strength so that you could defeat them easily."

She almost growled at the thought of others trying to take him away from her. She didn't even process that thought before it went through her mind and left.

"I wish that you be my mate, Gaz. We could rule the universe for much time."

There it was, the Almighty question. Did she wants this, was it for her? She had never even thought about a job before, was never interested in what the human race would give to her. So this was almost like a wakeup call.

"Wait, what was that old saying again. Don't you want to know what happens when he slide down that rabbit hold?"

Zim continued.

"Here. I made this for you earlier. It is my offering."

She stared at the sword lying on her lap. It was almost akin to the sword the Vampire Piggy Hunter used, the only it was missing was…the…button. She stared at the button before pressing, knowing that plasma light would shoot out before it even did. She glanced to Zim before she tilted her to the side in confusion.

"You are to choose. You will either give me back the weapon or cut my head off. It is Irken customs the females always choose if they want the male to protect or leave."

She was shocked at the brutality of it. Then she looked to the sword again. The question was now a matter of life or death.

She chose.

Zim flinched when he heard the blade sail through the air, but it didn't cut him. He opened his eyes and looked to the left where he felt plasma heat. He turned around and looked for Gaz. She was sitting there, arms open and waiting with a genuine smile on her face.

"Come, Zim-mate."

Just like he had referred to her to, it had only taken a second of thought before he crshed their lips together.


Merry Christmas!

Till later, Doragoon/Animaster out.