Melancholy

Tears drip down your face- cool and wet and annoyingly salty when they reach your lips. You try and fail to not think about how the caress of the water reminds you of her. You want to say something, anything, but every time you open your mouth you taste salt and tea, a cruel, lingering reminder of her kiss.

Thinking about that only hurts you more, so you close your eyes. but no matter how tightly you press them, her voice still worms its way into your ears.

That voice. How you ever found it attractive or even soothing, you can't understand. But, as her words drift to you, you know it's a lie. And it doesn't make the pain in your chest hurt any less.

"...Aang. Aang? Are you listening?" Slowly, you draw in a shuddering breath and open your eyes again. Immediately, you see the blue of her eyes, which stand out so vibrantly against her pale Earth Kingdom dress. You blink to clear the tears, only to notice that her eyes are swimming too. And that hurts. What right does she have to be sad, when the only person she's injuring is you?

But that isn't true either, and you know it. You know that this is hurting her just as much- she doesn't like wounding you, someone she's cared for and protected for nearly a year. It feels as if a stake is being driven through your heart when you realize it. She cares for you. She protects you. It's as if you were only ever her brother, or her child.

You realize that's why she's crying. She thinks she's devastating her son.

And that hurts you the most.

So you force a tight smile onto your face, and lift your voice into its normal chipper tone. "That's alright Katara, I understand." And though your voice isn't quite as happy as you hoped, and you didn't hear all of what she said, and tears still cling to your lashes, you do understand. At least, you will one day.

She smiles, relieved, says something about going back inside to join the others, and leaves you standing alone on the balcony. Suddenly, your shoulders sag under the heavy weight of your ceremonial gear. The amulet seems to mock you as tears fall onto its face. If the war is finally over, why do you feel so sad?

After forever- the sun has set by the time you move again- you go inside. Everyone is now seated at the table: Zuko is at the head, with Katara on one side and Iroh on the other. You pause at how odd that is- why isn't Mai next to him? Instead, she's seated by Iroh's right hand. Sokka sits across from her, holding hands with Suki.

A seat is reserved for you, between Mai and Toph. When you sit, Toph's hand finds your knee (after all this time, her ability to do that still amazes you) and squeezes. "It'll be okay, Twinkle Toes."

You grin faintly. Throughout dinner, Mai is quieter than normal, and you don't think that's weird, even with the seating arrangement. It isn't until you catch Zuko looking at Katara, and Katara looking back, that something clicks.

And as you watch her hand hover lightly over his shoulder, you wonder what you missed when she was talking, and sigh. It doesn't matter, you decide; or at least, it won't, one day.

You sigh again, and hope that day comes sooner rather than later.


Um, well, this is my first try at an ATLA fic. and Zutara week (though this is only slightly melancholy, imo, and isn't very Zutara-y). and my first try at second-person. Hope it was enjoyed. :)