"I guess nobody really has it all together." Deb handed a paper towel to Corey and watched as the taller girl blotted at her wet face.
"No."
"I feel like I should welcome you to the club or something." Time to step away before the supposed perfect-ness started to rub off. Besides, Deb had to pee. "Anyway, did you really want to do Rex Manning in the count-out room? Is that how you always imagined how your first time would be? Your back up against the daily totals and your feet pounding against the safe—'Oh, Rexy, stop that. You're so sexy.'" That got a laugh out of her. "Besides, I heard AJ finally professed his undying love to you today."
Amazing, how quickly a statement like that could kill a mood. "Where'd you hear that?"
"Little bird told me. Let me guess—you shot him down with some line about how what you have right now is better than any romantic relationship, even though you know that's complete and utter bullshit."
"It's just…he's…I don't know. It's all confusing. And I thought you two were together."
Deb snorted. "We have great sex. That's not a relationship; it's an arrangement. If I wanted a relationship—which I don't—I'd go to Berko."
"You're in love with Berko?"
"Back it up—who said anything about love? You know, Corey, that's what your problem is. You're the only person left on the planet who wants hearts and flowers romantic bullshit. Everyone else? Just wants to screw. Then, when your fucking white knight finally finds the balls to tell you that he's been pining over you for the better part of five years, you pretty much spit in his face because you've just been turned down by some washed up pop star and because he and I are fuck buddies! For someone who's supposed to be so frickin' smart, you're a dribbling idiot!"
"But what about Mark? And Lucas?"
Deb sighed and dropped the toilet lid down so she'd have a place to sit. "Mark got kicked out of his apartment and needed a place to crash. AJ's a push-over. End of story. As for Lucas…well, every relationship's got its baggage. Just consider him AJ's."
"Don't you think it's kind of weird, though? What happened between them?"
"Heterosexual AJ and asexual Lucas go chasing a shoplifter and end up having sex in the gravel parking lot behind the pawnshop? Yeah, that's pretty weird, but since Lucas stole nine thousand dollars last night and all Joe's done is confine him to the couch, I think weird is pretty much par for course around here."
