Author: Catgurl83
Title: Changes for the Future
Disclaimer: Characters that you recognize from the show aren't mine.
Feedback: Is always appreciated.
Pairings: Josh \ Zoey, mentions of Sam \ Donna, CJ \ Toby
Spoilers: To be safe, through season five.
Rating: G
Author's notes: This is the fourth in my Changes Series. It follows Unexpected Changes, Continued Changes, and Changes Abound.
Thanks to Classic She for all of her help with this story!
**************
Amy ran through a mental checklist as she perused the contents of the suitcase. She had done this many, many times in the past few years and had gotten very good at it. There were jeans and shorts, T-shirts and blouses, and a few sweaters for the evening or early morning.
Walking into the attached bathroom, she picked up an already packed small travel bag. She dropped it into the suitcase.
"Are you done, Sweetie?"
"Yep," Serena said cheerfully. She slid the drawer shut and walked over to Amy. "Here."
Amy took the proffered set of pajamas from the little girl. The four-year- old had quite a collection of pajamas. There were long, flowing ones, in Serena's words 'Princessy nightgowns'. There were heavy, footed sleepers for very cold nights, although they had to force Serena to wear them. Then there were her 'silly PJs', sets of pajamas with various characters and objects all over the material. Serena would choose what to wear based on her mood. For the trip, Serena had chosen to take a pair of cotton pajamas with bunny rabbits in assorted outfits all over them. After folding the pajamas into the suitcase, Amy crossed to the drawer and chose Serena's second pair, as she always did.
Amy closed the suitcase and set it on the floor near the door. She turned toward Serena's second suitcase. She had already placed Serena's underclothing, slippers, and a couple of extra pairs of shoes into the case. There was still plenty of room. "Okay, Serena," she told the little girl, who gleefully started to choose what else to take with her.
Serena stood, her hands on her non-existent hips, studying room. She had always loved this part of packing. Amy would pack clothing and toiletry items for her, then let her fill the rest of the space.
Crossing the room, she picked Heidie up from the bookcase. They had begun reading Heidie just a few days before; she already loved the story, almost as much as her favorite book, Black Beauty. Zoey said that as a little girl, Heidie had been her favorite book and that she had liked the movie too. Zoey promised that as soon as Serena was done with the book, they'd watch the movie together.
Next, Serena crossed to her bed, which held her favorite stuffed toys. She picked up a praying angel that her Uncle Josh had gotten her. She always slept with the cloth doll and couldn't sleep without it.
As Serena was packing a small travel case with a Barbie, a Ken, and clothes and shoes for them, the door opened.
"How's it going?"
"We're almost through," Amy assured Josh. "Serena's just finishing up."
Serena snapped the small pink plastic box with a picture of Barbie on the front closed and carried it over to Amy who laid it in the suitcase. She smiled at Josh. "I'm finished."
"Good. Have you chosen your pajamas for tonight?"
Serena shook her head.
"It's almost time for bed, go choose them."
Serena nodded before crossing the room.
Amy glanced down at her watch.
"You can go if you'd like. I can get Serena down and we'll be leaving very early in the morning." Josh offered with a smile for the nanny. He was so grateful for her help in the last two years, well, almost two years. He didn't know if he could have done it without her.
"Thanks," Amy said. She was driving to her parent's place in Maryland that night. They'd be flying to California the next day to spend two weeks in San Diego where her older sister was getting married. "You'll be gone for a week right?"
"Yep. We get back the week before you do." He smiled again. "Have fun."
Amy returned the smile. "I plan to." She crossed the room. "Serena?"
Serena looked up, a pajama shirt in one hand and a nightgown in the other. "Yes?"
Amy knelt down next to the preschooler. "I'm about to go."
"Oh," Serena said softly. She'd never been apart from Amy for more than a few days at a time since Amy started taking care of her. She couldn't remember a time when Amy hadn't been with her.
Amy took in the little girl's trembling lip. She had expected this but had hoped it wouldn't happen. They had been preparing Serena for this for several weeks. "It's only for a couple of weeks," she assured the little girl.
Serena nodded solemnly. "You'll be back?"
"Yep. And you know what? If you really need to talk to me, Uncle Josh has a phone number to reach me. He'll help you call. Okay?"
After a few moments consideration, Serena nodded again. She gave Amy a small smile. "I'll miss you."
Amy hugged the child to her. "I'll miss you too." She kissed Serena's forehead and stood. "Bye Sweetie."
"Bye."
Amy gave Josh a small wave before exiting the room.
************
"I don't like this."
"I'm not exactly ecstatic about it myself but there isn't anything that we can do."
Jed glowered at his wife. "We can forbid her from going."
Abbey rolled her eyes as he spoke. "Oh yeah. That is exactly what you should do. Go in there and order her to stay. See what she does then."
Jed sighed knowing that she was right. Ordering Zoey not to go on the trip wouldn't stop her; it would make her more determined to go.
"You're the one who encouraged them to date," Abbey reminded him softly.
"I didn't encourage them, I just didn't try to stop them," he corrected her, now wishing that he had put up some sort of fight. That he had put a stop to the relationship before it began. The problem was, the relationship had begun before he had realized what was happening, before even Josh and Zoey realized what was happening. By the time that Josh had approached him, asking if he could date Zoey, it had been too late to really stop it.
He had hoped that the relationship would fizzle out on its own. That Josh and Zoey would discover that their differences were just too much to sustain a relationship. Their whole lives had been so different. They had totally different upbringings, although they had both been raised in New England in families with roughly the same socio-economic status, however, there the similarities ended. Josh was raised Jewish; Zoey Catholic. Zoey's childhood was innocent, untouched by tragedy. Josh had had to deal with the devastating loss of his older sister at too young of an age, with the accompanying survivors guilt, with his mother's depression. On top of all of that, they were from two different generations, children of the baby boomer and generation X. They were raised in entirely different eras.
Even now, there were so many differences. Josh already had an established career; Zoey had just graduated from college. Josh had a crushing schedule; Zoey wasn't even working. Josh had the responsibility for a young child; Zoey was little more than a child herself and should be carefree at this stage of her life.
All of these things were supposed to work together to eventually break them up, to keep them from getting serious. That hadn't happened. Instead, Jed had had to watch his youngest child fall farther and farther in love with Josh. Had to watch them become a family.
It wasn't that he didn't like Josh; he did. Josh was an excellent politician with an amazing political mind. He was loyal and trustworthy, passionate about everything important to him. He was a good man, a great father. Jed had a great amount of respect for Josh, that respect had grown when Josh took custody of Serena. But, try as he might, he didn't like Josh with Zoey.
There was still a chance that the two would break up, that it wouldn't get any more serious than it already had. He tried to believe this, yet deep in his heart, he doubted that that would happen. He'd watched Josh and Zoey together. Listened to them talk about each other. Seen Zoey's eyes light up when Josh was mentioned or stepped into a room. It was the real thing what Josh and Zoey had going on between them.
"At least Serena will be with them," Abbey stated. "And they'll be staying with Kate and Jonathon Moss."
Jed said nothing. He didn't feel that Serena was an adequate chaperone and he knew that Abbey really didn't think that either. Nor was he naïve enough to believe that the couple really needed a chaperone, he knew that Zoey had spent several nights at Josh's.
"Hey."
Jed's head snapped up. "Zoey." His daughter stood in the doorway wearing a pair of loose fitting jogging pants and an oversized sweatshirt. Her hair was pulled back in a braid. He thought she looked so young, much too young to have fallen in love.
"I'm all done packing." She gave them each a smile. "I'm about to turn in but I wanted to say goodnight since I'll be leaving so early in the morning. You probably won't see me in the morning."
Zoey stepped forward and pressed a kiss to her father's cheek. "Love you." She hugged her mother and then wordlessly left the room.
*************
As the plane took off, Zoey studied Serena. The little girl wore one of her favorite jumpsuits. Her angel necklace rested against the material on the top. Serena's hair hung loose with a small barrette keeping it from falling into her blue eyes.
The little girl was quietly coloring in a Barbie coloring book that Amy had packed in her carry-on. She had pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and was diligently coloring in Barbie's tiny shoe.
The preschooler had been quiet the whole morning. Too quiet. Zoey had arrived at the house as Serena was finishing her breakfast and the little girl had hugged her and said hi but that was it. Usually, Serena was bubbly and talkative. Serena had been silent on the trip to the airport and had barely spoken as they waited to board the plane.
Zoey had flown with Serena before on numerous occasions. The little girl would sit as close to the window as she could and stare out it, transfixed as they took off. As they got higher and higher, she'd point out that everything was getting smaller, that the ground below them looked like a giant board game, broken up into huge green, brown, and black shapes. She should be chattering a mile a minute but she wasn't.
Josh had opened his laptop the minute that they had taken off. His fingers were flying across the keyboard.
"What are you working on?"
He looked up. "Hmm?"
"What are you typing?"
"Oh." He turned the laptop so that she could see the screen. "I'm finishing an e-mail to my mother. She e-mailed me a couple of days ago and I never responded."
She lowered her voice. "How was Serena doing last night?"
Josh's eyes widened in surprise, then moved quickly toward his little girl. Serena was sitting quietly, her eyes glued to the picture that she was coloring but her hand had stilled, a red crayon clutched between her fingers.
"She seemed okay yesterday," he answered, still watching Serena. "She spent all day telling me how fun the trip was going to be, telling me everything that she wanted to do while we were gone. She was so excited."
"What about this morning?"
Josh turned back toward his girlfriend. "She really didn't want to get up this morning but I attributed that to the fact that it was four in the morning and Amy doesn't usually get her up until about seven-thirty. But after she was up, she seemed okay. She didn't fuss or complain."
"She's so quiet," Zoey observed as she too watched the little girl.
The seat belt light had gone off so Josh unbuckled his seat belt and stood. As he knelt down next to Serena, he noticed that the little girl had barely colored the picture at all. Barbie's shoes were red and her hair blond but that was it.
"Angel?"
At his voice, Serena's head snapped up. He was kneeling down next to her, watching her.
"Are you okay?"
Serena nodded slowly and Josh wasn't convinced.
"Are you tired?" he pressed.
"A little," she admitted.
Josh brushed his hand across her forehead and frowned. His eyes filling with concern, he turned to Zoey. "She's warm."
Zoey leaned over and dropped a kiss to Serena's forehead. "She has a slight fever," she agreed.
"Does anything hurt?" he asked, his attention back on Serena.
Serena shook her head. "Just tired," she said around a yawn.
Josh unbuckled Serena's belt and lifted her, carrying her back to his seat. He sat back down and settled her on his lap with her head on his shoulder. If the flight attendants didn't like it, too bad.
Zoey smiled as Serena settled her head on Josh's shoulder and immediately went limp, her breathing already deep and slow. She reached out and ran her hand down Serena's long, very light brown locks. She remembered a time when Serena had had no hair at all. Now the child's hair reached the middle of her back.
Josh felt the little girl in his arms succumb to sleep, a frown creasing his face. How could she be so exhausted? She had been in bed by eight the night before. She had fallen asleep almost immediately, as always. Yet, at eight o'clock this morning she was so tired.
On top of the exhaustion, the fever worried him. She was barely warm so he knew that it wasn't a high fever and he was probably being overly concerned but it really worried him. Fortunately, during the time that he had had custody of the little girl, she had been sick very infrequently. She had had a few colds and the flu once but that was it, besides the injuries from the car accident, of course.
When Sam had first gotten her, she had been very sick and Josh had spent quite a bit of time with her. He hated it when she was sick, when she was in pain.
God, how he hoped that this was just a minor cold coming on strong.
Zoey watched Josh's face furrow in concern and knew what he was thinking about. She reached out for his free hand and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. Kid's got the sniffles, they got colds. That was all that this was, she told him with her touch.
As Josh felt Zoey's hand on his own, he turned briefly and met her eyes. A small smile played at his lips as he silently thanked her for being so supportive.
************
Kate Moss gingerly took a seat in an uncomfortable chair in the airport waiting room. Her husband moved a folded newspaper out of the seat next to hers and sat down. Glancing down at the paper, he realized that it was from the day before and tossed it onto a seat nearby.
She and Jonathon hadn't really had much of a chance to get to know Serena. When their daughter married Sam and adopted his daughter, Serena already was two years old. Living in Wisconsin, they hadn't met Serena until the wedding. In fact, they had only met Sam once before, when President Bartlett made a whirlwind stop in Wisconsin during the first campaign.
They had arrived just two days before the wedding and hadn't had much of a chance to get to know Serena, as the toddler had just been released from the hospital and was clingy toward her father. Zoey Bartlett had held her during the ceremony, as she used to Zoey. At the reception, Serena had been fussy, only interacting with the First Family and the Senior Staff while ignoring everyone else. Kate and Jonathon had left the next day. They had spoken to Serena over the phone several times in the months after the wedding but hadn't been able to make it to DC again.
About a year and a half after the wedding, Kate's sleep had been disturbed in the middle of the night by the ringing of the phone. Groggily she had answered the phone to a slightly familiar voice that she couldn't quite place. The woman had sounded like she might have been crying, Kate had been instantly on alert. She had flipped a light on as the woman identified herself as CJ Cregg, the White House Press Secretary. Her blood had chilled at the introduction, she had known that the Press Secretary would not be calling her in the middle of the night for any reason that she would actually want to hear. CJ had swallowed hard before telling her that there had been an accident. Just from the weariness in the woman's voice, Kate had known that it was bad.
She and Jonathon had been on a flight to DC within hours. They had arrived shortly before dawn, were taken to the hospital in a car that had been sent for them, only to find reporters congregated outside the hospital entrance. Somehow the reporters had known who they were and had called out questions to them, questions they hadn't had answers for.
Inside the hospital, they had found the White House Senior Staff, as well as a couple of people from their son-in-law's congressional office, congregated in a small waiting room. Everyone had looked so grave, avoiding their questioning eyes as they entered the room. Josh Lyman, Donna's boss, had taken them aside and explained it was serious and that Donna was still in surgery.
Somehow, she and several of the others had managed to fall into a fitful sleep. As she had requested, Josh woke her when the Doctor's came to relate the news that Sam was going to be taken off from life support. From the waiting room door, she had seen President Bartlett and his wife wheel Serena into her father's room. When they emerged from the room less than five minutes later, Serena's body was shaking with sobs that echoed through the nearly empty halls.
It had been the next day when she had the opportunity to see the devastated little girl. She had offered to sit with the Serena while the others were discussing Sam's funeral. When she had stepped into the room, Serena had looked up at her through hollow, red-rimmed eyes. Even in the dark room, Kate had been able to see how pale the little girl was, her arm in a sling.
She had taken the seat next to the little girl and given her a weak smile. Serena had blinked back a tear but hadn't been able to return the smile. Kate had sat with the child for over a half-hour before CJ Cregg relieved her and during that time, Serena didn't say a word.
At the funeral, Serena clung to Josh, her head buried in his neck for the majority of the service. She had stayed away, knowing that Josh could comfort Serena better than she or anyone else could have.
She and Jonathon had stayed in DC for a while after the accident, hoping for a miracle with their daughter. They basically lived at the hospital, hadn't spent much time with Serena. Finally, they had decided that they had to take Donna off of life support. At the hospital, before they all took turns staying goodbye to Donna, Kate held back her tears and tried her hardest to be strong, to hope for a miracle that she knew would not happen. A confused Serena didn't understand what was happening when Josh took her to see Donna before they removed the support system.
The last time that she had been in DC, she took the little girl's mother away, back home to Wisconsin. The child had been hurt and angry. The last time that she had seen Serena, the morose little girl had stared at her dejectedly from Josh's arms. Josh had barely been able to coax a tiny 'bye' out of the child.
Since then, she had spoken to Serena on the phone several times. The little girl had warmed up to her a bit more each time they had talked, but she still worried that there might be problems between them. Every time they saw each other, something bad seemed to happen to the child. That was the type of thing that small children noticed subconsciously.
She just hoped that she'd be able to change things with this visit. That she'd be able to find common ground with Serena, bond with the child.
She had always dreamed of having grandchildren. One of her son's had given her a grandson, but Serena was her only granddaughter. Her only chance of a grandchild from her only daughter. She desperately wanted to know Serena, to be close to Serena.
Yes, Serena was adopted, but Donna hadn't looked at her that way. The day before her wedding to Sam, Donna had confided that she already loved Serena so much, that she didn't think that it would be possible to love her more even if she was her biological child.
"Kate."
At the sound of her husband's voice, Kate broke her reverie, blinked rapidly and looked up.
Jonathon stood and Kate followed his gaze before standing herself.
Josh was walking toward them, wearing a pair of slacks and a shirt that Kate couldn't see as his arms were wrapped around a limp Serena, her head nestled in his shoulder. Zoey Bartlett walked alongside Josh, her agents forming a phalanx around them.
Kate forced back her initial reaction to seeing Zoey. Yes, she had known that they were a couple. She had known that for quite a while. She had seen much of the media coverage right after Josh and Zoey's relationship had been announced. She had to admit that she had been shocked when she'd first heard. She had to admit that she hadn't initially approved of the relationship. Actually, her first reaction had been to wonder if the rumors about Josh's womanizing ways were true. She had thought so for most of the time when Donna was working for him, based on the stories Donna had related in her phone calls home. During the weeks and months after Sam's death, she was around Josh quite a bit. She saw a different side of him, a caring side. Her opinion slowly changed, as she saw him care for Serena, as he ensured that she and Jonathan remained a part of Serena's life through emails, phone calls, videotapes and pictures. And the photos and videotapes showed that Zoey was an intrinsic part of Serena's life.
And Josh had told her that he was bringing Zoey along.
As they approached the older couple, Zoey smiled. She had met Kate and Jonathon before, but hadn't gotten a chance to really get to know them. They had seemed nice though.
As the younger woman smiled at her, Kate gave an answering smile of her own. Zoey did seem like a genuinely nice person.
Once they were close enough, Kate's eyes drifted to Serena. Her head lay on Josh's shoulder with her face facing his. Her eyes were closed, her long, dark lashes contrasting with her pale face. Her very pale face.
Kate raised concerned eyes up to meet Josh's. "Is she alright?"
"She'll be fine. She's just tired."
Kate glanced at Serena's face once more before nodding. Josh knew the child far better than she did.
Jonathon gave them both smiles in greeting. "Let's get your bags." As he led them toward luggage claim, he glanced at each of them. "We had planned on stopping for lunch on the way home." He glanced uncertainly at Zoey's agents. "That is, if your agents would have allowed it. But since Serena's asleep..."
Zoey gave him a smile. "Yes, it's probably better that we just go straight to the house."
************
"Should we change her into pajamas?" Josh asked as he gently laid a still sleeping Serena on the bed in one of Kate and Jonathon's guestrooms.
Zoey studied the little girl. The four-year-old wore a loose, floral printed, yellow jumpsuit. "I think that this is loose enough, it won't restrict her breathing. If we try to change her, we might disturb her sleep."
Josh glanced at Serena doubtfully. He really didn't think that much would disturb the little girl. She had slept throughout their flight, hadn't showed any reaction to the noise or movement as they walked through the busy airport, and had slept through the ride to the house and being carried upstairs. "How about her shoes?"
Zoey nodded as she gingerly sat on the edge of the bed. She unlaced each of Serena's tennis shoes and carefully slipped them from the child's feet. The little girl was wearing yellow socks with lace at the ankles. Zoey left the socks on and stood.
She wouldn't tell Josh but this was really starting to worry her. This didn't seem like Serena. She knew that Serena took a nap every day but she also knew that it wasn't until late afternoon and then only for an hour or so.
As they stood there, both studying the sleeping child on the bed, Josh reached out and wrapped his arm around Zoey's waist, gently pulling her closer to him. He glanced down at her face. She was watching Serena intently, a mixture of emotions crossing her face. She looked worried, scared, and sad at the same time. What was she thinking about? He wondered.
Almost three years before, Zoey had been at Serena's second birthday party. After Serena blew out the candles on her cake and opened all of her gifts, everyone went back to talking but she decided to play with the little girl. Of course, she had known that Serena was a very sick child but, that evening, Serena didn't look sick, didn't act sick. Serena was playful and cheerful, just like Annie had been at that age. The little girl had instantly loved her dollhouse and hadn't wanted to play with anything else. One moment they were carefully placing the tiny furniture in just the right spots and the next Serena was lying on the ground as a scream tore its way up Zoey's throat.
That had been one of the scariest moments of her life. Actually, she could only think of two times when she had been more frightened; the day that she found out her daddy had MS and Rosslyn.
All that she could think of while watching Sam cradle his daughter in his arms, her mother checking Serena's vital signs, hearing her father call for an ambulance, was that somehow she should have stopped it. Somehow, she should have known that it was going to happen, that there had to have been a sign. She was closest in proximity to Serena, she should have noticed that something was wrong.
At the hospital, when she went to Serena's room for the little girl's christening, her eyes were riveted to the child. Serena lay in her hospital bed, so pale that she blended in with the starched white sheets and deathly still. Serena's lack of hair had made the gauntness of her face stand out. Zoey had seen her so many times before but, for some reason, Serena's sickly appearance never sank in until she was lying in the bed like that.
She had seen Serena like that so many times in the weeks that followed that night. After the bone marrow transplant, Serena started to slowly get better. Her hair grew back, thin, wispy, and baby soft like an infant's. Her face lost its gauntness as she gained weight. Color returned to her face.
During the weeks that Serena was in the hospital, she and Donna had become closer. She had always considered the older woman to be a friend but they had never really had much of a chance to spend much time together away from the group. While Serena was recuperating, they really had a chance to talk, to confide in each other.
Zoey had prayed that Serena would never get sick, seriously sick, again. Especially after Josh was granted custody. After Sam died and Donna went into a coma, Josh threw himself into caring for their daughter. He couldn't bear the thought that he might do something wrong. The child became his life, she was all that kept him going for weeks, months. Zoey had known then that if Serena had gotten sick again, Josh wouldn't be able to take it, wouldn't be able to handle losing her too.
However, she didn't think that Josh was as emotionally delicate now. He had moved on - past the accident, Sam's death, Donna's coma. She was pretty sure that if Serena became seriously ill now, Josh would be able to handle it, with her help, her love, her support. But she hoped that this was just a cold.
In all probability, it was a cold or the flu. She was being paranoid, even thinking like this, but when a small child who had had cancer got sick, you had to wonder. You had to be more cautious than other parents.
From the partially open door, Kate observed the three people in the room. Serena lay on the bed, still fast asleep. Josh and Zoey stood next to the bed staring down at the little girl with their arms wrapped around each other. She doubted that the two could possibly be standing any closer together.
Earlier, Josh had told her that Serena was just tired, nothing was wrong, but watching Josh and Zoey, she had to wonder if either of them really thought that. As they watched Serena, concerned expressions flitted over their faces. Both of them seemed quite worried about the little girl.
She stepped farther into the room, "Knock, knock."
Zoey turned from Serena toward the door. Kate had pushed the door open farther and had stepped into the room.
"I thought that you might like a light blanket to put over Serena," Kate said with a smile.
"Thank you." Josh accepted the soft rainbow colored afghan. He approached the bed and gently spread the cover over Serena.
"That's very pretty. Did you crochet it?" Zoey asked as she studied the afghan.
Kate laughed, "Oh no. My crocheting doesn't look half that good. Everything that I make ends up disproportionate in size. My grandmother made that when my children were little."
Kate smiled. "If you're hungry, I made some sandwiches and a platter of fruit and veggies."
"Thank you, Kate." Josh told her.
**********
As she was stacking the lunch dishes to carry them to the sink, Kate glanced at her guests. "Now that we've eaten, would you like for me to show you our house?"
"Sure," Josh said, more than a little of his curiosity betrayed by his voice. When they had come to Wisconsin years before, during the campaign, Kate and Jonathon Moss had come to a rally where Josh had met them for the first time. He had never been here before. He was interested in seeing the home that Donna had grown up in.
Zoey glanced around the large, comfortable, farm-style kitchen. She immediately loved this room and knew that her father would to. She hated small, immaculate, new age looking kitchens that didn't look like you should actually use them to cook. She loved the space and freedom to have fun with cooking and baking.
Off from the kitchen was a glassed-in breakfast room, they had just eaten their lunch there. The room had three walls made of glass. It overlooked a beautiful garden that Kate confessed was her baby.
Kate led them into the living room. They passed by it on their way into the house but didn't actually stop in. As they entered the room, their eyes were drawn to the huge, marble fireplace, which was by far the most dominating feature of the room.
The mantel above the fireplace held a row of pictures. The first was an old family portrait with Jonathon and Kate holding their three small children on their laps. The second picture showed the three kids standing together, Donna was perhaps ten or eleven, her older brothers probably in their early teens. In the third picture, Donna's brother Michael, who was probably five, held an infant Donna on his lap, their father's hands could be seen steadying the baby head. A picture of Tony, his grin disclosing his braces followed. The last picture was of all three of the Moss kids standing together at Tony's wedding, when Donna was seventeen.
The top of the piano held even more pictures. There were a few pictures of the Moss's grandson. A picture of Donna and Sam at the wedding, Serena in her father's arms. There was a picture of Serena that Josh knew Donna had taken on the child's third birthday; he had a copy of this picture on his desk at work.
As Josh glanced at a wall that was almost completely covered in pictures, he knew where Donna had acquired her love of pictures.
The den had a full wall of built in shelves, filled with books. Some of the books looked old, others looked relatively new. Some were paperbacks, Zoey even noticed a few romance novels, but most were hardcover. They were organized by type. Cookbooks had their own shelf. There was a shelf for books about gardening. A few shelves were filled with the classics. There was a full shelf of biographies; Josh noticed several presidential biographies that he had read. The entire bottom row of shelves was dedicated to children's books for all ages of children.
The room had several comfortable chairs that you could relax in to read. There was even a miniature rocking chair that must be for Tony's six-year- old son.
The hardwood floor was softened with scattered throw rugs.
"This was Donna's favorite room when she was little," Kate said as she led them down the basement steps. "She absolutely adored skating." She laughed, "She practically wanted to move into the skating rink so Jonathon turned the laundry into a separate room down here."
As he reached the bottom of the stairs, Josh glanced around, a surprised expression on his face.
"We made the rest of the basement into a skating rink," Kate finished unnecessarily.
Almost the entire area was a skating rink. Directly under the stairs was a seating area that had several folding chairs set up in it. There was a rail separating the area from the rink. Behind the chairs was a long shelf. Several pairs of skates and roller blades lay on the shelf.
"As the kids got older and skates went 'out' they began to blade down here instead. I don't know how many parties we hosted down here over the years," she laughed again as she reminisced.
"This is so cool," Zoey said enthusiastically as she examined the skates, trying to judge their sizes.
"You could both get in some roller blading while you're here," Kate offered. "Maybe teach Serena how to roller blade?"
"Roller blade?" Josh repeated, paling.
Zoey laughed as she picked up a pair, eyeing his feet. "Come on Josh. It is fun."
"More like dangerous," Josh muttered.
"I've been blading since I was a little girl." Zoey met his eyes. "Please?" she said softly.
Josh sighed, he couldn't refuse her puppy eyes. "I'll try it. Once, Zo."
She gave him a bright smile and a quick hug. She knew that once he tried roller blading, he'd like it. And Serena would love it. Kate watched their interplay with interest, perhaps she had misjudged their relationship.
Back upstairs, they stopped in to check on Serena first. After ensuring the child was okay, Josh glanced around, really noticing the room for the first time. The motif of this room seemed to be roses.
The room was painted a very pale pink. Across one of the walls, someone had painted a trellis with climbing roses. From a far, the roses actually looked realistic.
The bedspread was just a shade darker than the walls as were the curtains at the windows. Sunlight filtered in, brightening the room.
Fluffy throw rugs were scattered across the floor.
The pristine white dresser actually had a replica of one of the basins that they used to use for washing up. It was white with pink roses painted onto it.
Kate led them into the bedroom next to that one. "This was the boys' room. They actually chose to share for most of their childhood'."
This room was decorated in red and black. The furniture was very modern looking.
Josh suspected that at one point the room held bunkbeds or twin beds but those had been removed in favor of one bed. The bed frame was made of black metal. The bedding was red.
A tall corner desk stood in the corner of the room. It too was made of black metal. It was empty except for a red electric pencil sharpener and a penholder filled with pens and pencils. Next to the desk was a red wastepaper basket made of plastic.
The walls were jet black. He glanced up and noticed the ceiling. The solar system had been painted onto the ceiling in glow-in-the-dark paint.
Red rugs were strewn across the floor and red curtains hung at the window.
Josh couldn't figure out how anyone had actually been able to live in this room for years. There was just too much red and black. It wasn't understated at all. But it was something that he could see teenagers liking, especially if their parents didn't. He just hoped that he didn't get a headache, staying in this room.
Kate led them across the hall to a room with a closed door. "This was Donna's room."
Zoey followed Kate and Josh across the hall wondering what Donna's room would be like. This whole house had surprised her thus far. She hadn't expected it to have so much character.
"We did this when she was fourteen. Previously, her room was done in bright colors. It rivaled her brothers at shock value. But as a teen she decided that she wanted something quieter to hang in with her friends."
This was certainly quiet, Zoey thought as she looked around. Compared to the rest of the house, this room was boring. But it was pretty.
The walls were plain, stark white. The sliding closet doors were mirrored. Soft blue curtains hung at the windows.
The bed was white wicker, the bedding matched the curtains.
A tall CD tower stood next to an entertainment center. Every slot on the tower was full. Josh was surprised that she had left all of these CDs here. He would have expected her to take most or all of them with her.
The guest bathroom was almost completely blue. It was like stepping into the ocean. The walls were painted a very, deep, dark blue.
Thick, soft rugs nearly covered the tile floor. Even through her shoes, her feet were sinking into the rugs.
The shower had a glass door but a shower curtain covered it anyway. The curtain was done in a lighter blue than the walls and rugs.
The wastebasket was deep blue and had fish printed on it.
A glass hand soap dispenser sat next to the sink. It was shaped like a dolphin. A swan shaped crystal soap dish was next to it. The soap dish held several small decorative soaps in various ocean life shapes. There was a light, metallically green seahorse, a mermaid, a bright red crab, and a jellyfish.
The various shades of blue lent an authentic feel to the bathroom, made it seem multidimensional like the ocean.
"I love it," Zoey said once they had finished.
"Thank you."
"All of the painting is beautiful and very real looking. Did you paint it?"
Kate shook her head. "Jonathon did all of the painting with Donna and Tony's help. I'm not very artistic, well not with paintings. Most of my creativity goes into my garden."
"Uncle Josh?"
All three of the adults turned at the sound of a quiet, scared voice coming from down the hall.
"I'm right here, Angel," Josh assured her when he crouched down next to her.
Serena looked around the hallway. Pictures covered the wall and plants were interspersed on small stands. "Is this Grandma Kate and Grandpa Jonathon's house?"
"It is," Kate confirmed as she and Zoey joined Josh and Serena.
Serena gave her grandmother a shy smile but stayed in Josh's arms.
"Are you feeling better?" Zoey asked.
"Yes."
"I bet you're hungry," Kate said with a smile.
Serena nodded.
"Hmmm. How about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"
"Strawberry jelly?" Serena asked hopefully as she took a step away from Josh, towards her Grandmother.
Kate faked shock at the question. "Is there any other kind?"
Serena giggled as she took Kate's hand.
************
"Wow," Serena said in awe as she turned in every direction, drinking the garden in.
They all stood on the back patio that evening. The patio itself was beautiful but the garden beyond was breathtaking.
The large patio was made for entertaining. Directly across from the door into the kitchen was a huge stone barbecue. Actually, it was more than a barbecue; it was more like an outdoor kitchen. The area was shielded on three sides by the walls of the house and had a canopy covering. The side not protected by a wall had a virtual forest of plant life surrounding it.
Lannon stone steps led down to the second layer of the yard, which was nearly blanketed in scattered flowers. It looked random, but Zoey knew that it wasn't. This look was actually very difficult to achieve and time consuming to maintain.
More steps led to the third layer. This layer was wide enough for someone to stand on, to garden on, but that was about it. The next layer was just a little larger.
The fifth and last layer was quite far from the patio and thus the whole level could not be seen from where they stood. The fence had been constructed on this level. The fence had climbing roses covering it.
Seeing the direction that Zoey's eyes had taken, Kate smiled and asked, "Shall we take a walk down there?"
"Yep," Serena answered enthusiastically and she skipped ahead of the four adults.
As they followed Serena, Josh and Zoey exchanged a relieved look. She had regained her exuberance and seemed to be back to her old self.
Once they had reached the bottom, Kate pulled the gate open and allowed them to precede her inside.
"Whoa," Serena muttered.
"It's glorious," Zoey complimented.
Jonathon grinned. "We had this done when the kids were little. We never had much problem with the boys, but Donnatella. She was mischievous. We needed a contained area for her out here."
This playground was probably a little kid's dream, Josh thought as he looked around. It had everything.
There was a carousel with animals of every type. Each of the creatures had been carved from wood and was very detailed. The paint had begun to chip but it still looked safe.
To the side was a trampoline. Even though it had a safety net there was still several inches of wood chips underneath it.
The swing set had everything that a kid could want on it. It too had wood chips surrounding it for safety reasons.
The sandbox had a protective covering over it to keep small creatures out of it. Next to it was a bucket of sand toys.
The slide was made of heavy duty plastic so that children wouldn't be burnt in the summertime.
There was even a small cement area set aside with various children's bikes and cars. A bucket held jump ropes and balls.
A small shed stood to the side so that the toys could be easily stored if rain was expected.
The whole yard was shaded by tall over-hanging trees. The back fence was lined with shrubs to keep the yard private from the neighbors.
"This is cool!"
"I kind of thought that you'd think that," Kate told Serena. "Would you like to play while we go up to the patio? We'll call you when dinner is ready."
"Sure!"
"I don't know."
"She'll be fine, Josh," Jonathon assured him. "We'll be right up there, she can call us if she needs us."
Josh studied the yard one more time before reluctantly nodding. He couldn't watch her twenty four-seven. He needed to start allowing her more freedom. Everyone said so, including Leo and the President. Well, he could start now, slowly though.
"I'll start the hamburgers," Jonathon said once they were back on the patio.
"I'll help," Josh offered.
Zoey laughed. "You just want to make sure that yours is burnt."
Jonathon wrinkled his nose but said nothing. People had different tastes, he guessed, though he'd never thought that he'd meet someone who liked burnt food.
As the guys barbecued, Zoey helped Kate by chopping the vegetables up for a salad.
As they worked silently, side by side, Kate glanced over at Zoey's agents who stood unobtrusively to the side. The agents just stood there, silently watching their charge. Kate had to wonder how Zoey could handle it, having people watching her all of the time, having to basically get permission before she went anywhere. She didn't think that she would be able to handle it as well as Zoey seemed to.
"How's Donna doing?" Zoey asked as she sliced a tomato.
Kate glanced down at the diced fruit. She really hadn't expected Zoey Bartlett to be able to do such a thing. She wouldn't have expected Zoey to even try but Zoey had insisted. She had thought the younger woman polite but distant on the previous occasions when they had met but she had never seen her in this kind of setting. She had expected Zoey to be pampered, spoiled. She was pleasantly surprised so far.
"We stopped by to see her this morning on our way to the airport. They were in the middle of physical therapy."
Zoey's eyes widened. "Physical therapy. Did she...? I mean..."
"The therapist does all of the work. It is basically to move her muscles so that they don't atrophy or clot from lack of use. They do it every day."
"So there still isn't any change?"
"No," Kate answered sadly. "The longer that goes by..."
"Yeah," Zoey agreed softly.
"Has Serena mentioned her mother?" Kate asked curiously.
"Last week she drew a picture that she said she was going to bring Donna. I haven't heard her mention Donna since then. I think that she'll want to see her while we're here though." She put the diced tomato into a bowl. She briefly considered whether to discuss Josh's feelings on the matter, then decided it best that she tell Kate, in case the older woman had an adverse reaction. "Basically, Josh's philosophy is to not mention Donna to Serena. If Serena asks a question, he answers as truthfully as possible, including health questions, but he doesn't force the info on her."
"So, when she asks to see her mother, he'll take her but not before then?"
"Pretty much."
"Will he see Donna?" Kate wanted to know.
"Of course, that's why he came. And one of the reasons why I came. I can play with Serena, take her for ice cream or to the park, while he visits with Donna." She turned to face Kate. "I can tell that you don't agree with Josh on this, but Serena has been through so much. Too much. This makes it easier for her."
"It isn't my place to agree or disagree. She is his child now, in every way, now that the adoption went through." She hadn't meant to sound harsh, but her voice reflected her inner feelings.
Zoey sighed. "He isn't trying to replace them. He is doing the best that he can with a situation that was presented to him."
Kate glanced over to make sure that the men were still busy and weren't paying attention to the conversation. She knew Josh well enough to know that she didn't want to know what his reaction would be. "I understand that. I respect him for that. Not every single man would take his best friend's child like this. His love for that little girl is obvious. What I have to wonder is why he had to make it legal."
She paused as she wiped her hands with a kitchen towel, then looked as Zoey. "He had legal custody, why did he have to adopt her?"
Kate took a breath. "It was already in their hearts. All that putting it on paper did was completely sever Donna's parental rights."
A light bulb went on in Zoey's head. Now she knew what this was all about. "Well, that's one of the reasons why he waited so long to do this, to make it official."
She turned to look at the older woman, she wanted to make sure that Kate understood what she was saying. "But Kate, it's been over two years now. Did you want for him to wait forever, before getting on with his own life? Before letting Serena move on? How healthy do you think that that would be for Serena? For both of them to live in limbo?"
"I know that it has been a long time, but it is still possible. There could still be a miracle."
Zoey could see so much mixed hope and pain in the older woman's eyes that she couldn't really be angry with her for feeling this way. In the same situation, she would probably feel the same. Yet, that didn't mean that Kate was right.
Kate continued, "When Donna survived being taken from life support, even your mother said that she didn't think that God would give us a miracle like that without letting Donna wake up."
"But that was so long ago. I don't think that she still thinks that. And she was talking as a friend, not as a doctor. Don't get me wrong, I still hope for Donna to wake up, still pray for it, but after a certain amount of time you have to move on from something like this."
After several moments of silence, Zoey spoke again. "Serena doesn't remember her," she whispered. "I mean, she remembers seeing her in the hospital the last time, seeing her laying there, lifeless. We tell her stories and show her pictures; but she has no real memories of Donna or Sam anymore. She was just so young when it happened. Josh is the only parental figure that she remembers. "
Kate looked startled at those words.
Zoey continued quickly, as it was best to lay all the cards on the table and have it out now with Kate, before Josh came into the conversation. "Even if he hadn't legally adopted her, she still wouldn't have known Donna as her mother, she wouldn't think of Donna that way. Donna is not Serena's mother. That was the consequence of the accident, not the adoption."
With those words, Zoey turned and headed toward the steps, calling over her shoulder, "I'll get Serena."
Kate stood there wordlessly, then picked up the salad and carried it over to the picnic table as Zoey's words sunk in. Zoey was right. None of them, save Serena, had been in that car that night, yet they were all victims of the accident. It wasn't fair for her to blame Josh for this, it wasn't his fault. He was doing what he felt was best for that little girl and that was what Sam and Donna had wanted him to do. She couldn't blame him for loving the child, for providing her with a family.
As she placed salad dressing on the table, she glanced over to the steps. She could see Zoey and Serena walking up them, Serena's hand wrapped around Zoey's as the child chattered about something. Zoey seemed to be listening intently, her attention solely on the child. It was becoming clear to Kate that Zoey really loved Serena and that Serena reciprocated. Zoey was becoming part of Josh and Serena's little family. How long would it be before Serena started calling them Mommy and Daddy, she wondered. Before any possibility of Donna returning to her previous role as Serena's mother was wiped out?
*************
Title: Changes for the Future
Disclaimer: Characters that you recognize from the show aren't mine.
Feedback: Is always appreciated.
Pairings: Josh \ Zoey, mentions of Sam \ Donna, CJ \ Toby
Spoilers: To be safe, through season five.
Rating: G
Author's notes: This is the fourth in my Changes Series. It follows Unexpected Changes, Continued Changes, and Changes Abound.
Thanks to Classic She for all of her help with this story!
**************
Amy ran through a mental checklist as she perused the contents of the suitcase. She had done this many, many times in the past few years and had gotten very good at it. There were jeans and shorts, T-shirts and blouses, and a few sweaters for the evening or early morning.
Walking into the attached bathroom, she picked up an already packed small travel bag. She dropped it into the suitcase.
"Are you done, Sweetie?"
"Yep," Serena said cheerfully. She slid the drawer shut and walked over to Amy. "Here."
Amy took the proffered set of pajamas from the little girl. The four-year- old had quite a collection of pajamas. There were long, flowing ones, in Serena's words 'Princessy nightgowns'. There were heavy, footed sleepers for very cold nights, although they had to force Serena to wear them. Then there were her 'silly PJs', sets of pajamas with various characters and objects all over the material. Serena would choose what to wear based on her mood. For the trip, Serena had chosen to take a pair of cotton pajamas with bunny rabbits in assorted outfits all over them. After folding the pajamas into the suitcase, Amy crossed to the drawer and chose Serena's second pair, as she always did.
Amy closed the suitcase and set it on the floor near the door. She turned toward Serena's second suitcase. She had already placed Serena's underclothing, slippers, and a couple of extra pairs of shoes into the case. There was still plenty of room. "Okay, Serena," she told the little girl, who gleefully started to choose what else to take with her.
Serena stood, her hands on her non-existent hips, studying room. She had always loved this part of packing. Amy would pack clothing and toiletry items for her, then let her fill the rest of the space.
Crossing the room, she picked Heidie up from the bookcase. They had begun reading Heidie just a few days before; she already loved the story, almost as much as her favorite book, Black Beauty. Zoey said that as a little girl, Heidie had been her favorite book and that she had liked the movie too. Zoey promised that as soon as Serena was done with the book, they'd watch the movie together.
Next, Serena crossed to her bed, which held her favorite stuffed toys. She picked up a praying angel that her Uncle Josh had gotten her. She always slept with the cloth doll and couldn't sleep without it.
As Serena was packing a small travel case with a Barbie, a Ken, and clothes and shoes for them, the door opened.
"How's it going?"
"We're almost through," Amy assured Josh. "Serena's just finishing up."
Serena snapped the small pink plastic box with a picture of Barbie on the front closed and carried it over to Amy who laid it in the suitcase. She smiled at Josh. "I'm finished."
"Good. Have you chosen your pajamas for tonight?"
Serena shook her head.
"It's almost time for bed, go choose them."
Serena nodded before crossing the room.
Amy glanced down at her watch.
"You can go if you'd like. I can get Serena down and we'll be leaving very early in the morning." Josh offered with a smile for the nanny. He was so grateful for her help in the last two years, well, almost two years. He didn't know if he could have done it without her.
"Thanks," Amy said. She was driving to her parent's place in Maryland that night. They'd be flying to California the next day to spend two weeks in San Diego where her older sister was getting married. "You'll be gone for a week right?"
"Yep. We get back the week before you do." He smiled again. "Have fun."
Amy returned the smile. "I plan to." She crossed the room. "Serena?"
Serena looked up, a pajama shirt in one hand and a nightgown in the other. "Yes?"
Amy knelt down next to the preschooler. "I'm about to go."
"Oh," Serena said softly. She'd never been apart from Amy for more than a few days at a time since Amy started taking care of her. She couldn't remember a time when Amy hadn't been with her.
Amy took in the little girl's trembling lip. She had expected this but had hoped it wouldn't happen. They had been preparing Serena for this for several weeks. "It's only for a couple of weeks," she assured the little girl.
Serena nodded solemnly. "You'll be back?"
"Yep. And you know what? If you really need to talk to me, Uncle Josh has a phone number to reach me. He'll help you call. Okay?"
After a few moments consideration, Serena nodded again. She gave Amy a small smile. "I'll miss you."
Amy hugged the child to her. "I'll miss you too." She kissed Serena's forehead and stood. "Bye Sweetie."
"Bye."
Amy gave Josh a small wave before exiting the room.
************
"I don't like this."
"I'm not exactly ecstatic about it myself but there isn't anything that we can do."
Jed glowered at his wife. "We can forbid her from going."
Abbey rolled her eyes as he spoke. "Oh yeah. That is exactly what you should do. Go in there and order her to stay. See what she does then."
Jed sighed knowing that she was right. Ordering Zoey not to go on the trip wouldn't stop her; it would make her more determined to go.
"You're the one who encouraged them to date," Abbey reminded him softly.
"I didn't encourage them, I just didn't try to stop them," he corrected her, now wishing that he had put up some sort of fight. That he had put a stop to the relationship before it began. The problem was, the relationship had begun before he had realized what was happening, before even Josh and Zoey realized what was happening. By the time that Josh had approached him, asking if he could date Zoey, it had been too late to really stop it.
He had hoped that the relationship would fizzle out on its own. That Josh and Zoey would discover that their differences were just too much to sustain a relationship. Their whole lives had been so different. They had totally different upbringings, although they had both been raised in New England in families with roughly the same socio-economic status, however, there the similarities ended. Josh was raised Jewish; Zoey Catholic. Zoey's childhood was innocent, untouched by tragedy. Josh had had to deal with the devastating loss of his older sister at too young of an age, with the accompanying survivors guilt, with his mother's depression. On top of all of that, they were from two different generations, children of the baby boomer and generation X. They were raised in entirely different eras.
Even now, there were so many differences. Josh already had an established career; Zoey had just graduated from college. Josh had a crushing schedule; Zoey wasn't even working. Josh had the responsibility for a young child; Zoey was little more than a child herself and should be carefree at this stage of her life.
All of these things were supposed to work together to eventually break them up, to keep them from getting serious. That hadn't happened. Instead, Jed had had to watch his youngest child fall farther and farther in love with Josh. Had to watch them become a family.
It wasn't that he didn't like Josh; he did. Josh was an excellent politician with an amazing political mind. He was loyal and trustworthy, passionate about everything important to him. He was a good man, a great father. Jed had a great amount of respect for Josh, that respect had grown when Josh took custody of Serena. But, try as he might, he didn't like Josh with Zoey.
There was still a chance that the two would break up, that it wouldn't get any more serious than it already had. He tried to believe this, yet deep in his heart, he doubted that that would happen. He'd watched Josh and Zoey together. Listened to them talk about each other. Seen Zoey's eyes light up when Josh was mentioned or stepped into a room. It was the real thing what Josh and Zoey had going on between them.
"At least Serena will be with them," Abbey stated. "And they'll be staying with Kate and Jonathon Moss."
Jed said nothing. He didn't feel that Serena was an adequate chaperone and he knew that Abbey really didn't think that either. Nor was he naïve enough to believe that the couple really needed a chaperone, he knew that Zoey had spent several nights at Josh's.
"Hey."
Jed's head snapped up. "Zoey." His daughter stood in the doorway wearing a pair of loose fitting jogging pants and an oversized sweatshirt. Her hair was pulled back in a braid. He thought she looked so young, much too young to have fallen in love.
"I'm all done packing." She gave them each a smile. "I'm about to turn in but I wanted to say goodnight since I'll be leaving so early in the morning. You probably won't see me in the morning."
Zoey stepped forward and pressed a kiss to her father's cheek. "Love you." She hugged her mother and then wordlessly left the room.
*************
As the plane took off, Zoey studied Serena. The little girl wore one of her favorite jumpsuits. Her angel necklace rested against the material on the top. Serena's hair hung loose with a small barrette keeping it from falling into her blue eyes.
The little girl was quietly coloring in a Barbie coloring book that Amy had packed in her carry-on. She had pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and was diligently coloring in Barbie's tiny shoe.
The preschooler had been quiet the whole morning. Too quiet. Zoey had arrived at the house as Serena was finishing her breakfast and the little girl had hugged her and said hi but that was it. Usually, Serena was bubbly and talkative. Serena had been silent on the trip to the airport and had barely spoken as they waited to board the plane.
Zoey had flown with Serena before on numerous occasions. The little girl would sit as close to the window as she could and stare out it, transfixed as they took off. As they got higher and higher, she'd point out that everything was getting smaller, that the ground below them looked like a giant board game, broken up into huge green, brown, and black shapes. She should be chattering a mile a minute but she wasn't.
Josh had opened his laptop the minute that they had taken off. His fingers were flying across the keyboard.
"What are you working on?"
He looked up. "Hmm?"
"What are you typing?"
"Oh." He turned the laptop so that she could see the screen. "I'm finishing an e-mail to my mother. She e-mailed me a couple of days ago and I never responded."
She lowered her voice. "How was Serena doing last night?"
Josh's eyes widened in surprise, then moved quickly toward his little girl. Serena was sitting quietly, her eyes glued to the picture that she was coloring but her hand had stilled, a red crayon clutched between her fingers.
"She seemed okay yesterday," he answered, still watching Serena. "She spent all day telling me how fun the trip was going to be, telling me everything that she wanted to do while we were gone. She was so excited."
"What about this morning?"
Josh turned back toward his girlfriend. "She really didn't want to get up this morning but I attributed that to the fact that it was four in the morning and Amy doesn't usually get her up until about seven-thirty. But after she was up, she seemed okay. She didn't fuss or complain."
"She's so quiet," Zoey observed as she too watched the little girl.
The seat belt light had gone off so Josh unbuckled his seat belt and stood. As he knelt down next to Serena, he noticed that the little girl had barely colored the picture at all. Barbie's shoes were red and her hair blond but that was it.
"Angel?"
At his voice, Serena's head snapped up. He was kneeling down next to her, watching her.
"Are you okay?"
Serena nodded slowly and Josh wasn't convinced.
"Are you tired?" he pressed.
"A little," she admitted.
Josh brushed his hand across her forehead and frowned. His eyes filling with concern, he turned to Zoey. "She's warm."
Zoey leaned over and dropped a kiss to Serena's forehead. "She has a slight fever," she agreed.
"Does anything hurt?" he asked, his attention back on Serena.
Serena shook her head. "Just tired," she said around a yawn.
Josh unbuckled Serena's belt and lifted her, carrying her back to his seat. He sat back down and settled her on his lap with her head on his shoulder. If the flight attendants didn't like it, too bad.
Zoey smiled as Serena settled her head on Josh's shoulder and immediately went limp, her breathing already deep and slow. She reached out and ran her hand down Serena's long, very light brown locks. She remembered a time when Serena had had no hair at all. Now the child's hair reached the middle of her back.
Josh felt the little girl in his arms succumb to sleep, a frown creasing his face. How could she be so exhausted? She had been in bed by eight the night before. She had fallen asleep almost immediately, as always. Yet, at eight o'clock this morning she was so tired.
On top of the exhaustion, the fever worried him. She was barely warm so he knew that it wasn't a high fever and he was probably being overly concerned but it really worried him. Fortunately, during the time that he had had custody of the little girl, she had been sick very infrequently. She had had a few colds and the flu once but that was it, besides the injuries from the car accident, of course.
When Sam had first gotten her, she had been very sick and Josh had spent quite a bit of time with her. He hated it when she was sick, when she was in pain.
God, how he hoped that this was just a minor cold coming on strong.
Zoey watched Josh's face furrow in concern and knew what he was thinking about. She reached out for his free hand and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. Kid's got the sniffles, they got colds. That was all that this was, she told him with her touch.
As Josh felt Zoey's hand on his own, he turned briefly and met her eyes. A small smile played at his lips as he silently thanked her for being so supportive.
************
Kate Moss gingerly took a seat in an uncomfortable chair in the airport waiting room. Her husband moved a folded newspaper out of the seat next to hers and sat down. Glancing down at the paper, he realized that it was from the day before and tossed it onto a seat nearby.
She and Jonathon hadn't really had much of a chance to get to know Serena. When their daughter married Sam and adopted his daughter, Serena already was two years old. Living in Wisconsin, they hadn't met Serena until the wedding. In fact, they had only met Sam once before, when President Bartlett made a whirlwind stop in Wisconsin during the first campaign.
They had arrived just two days before the wedding and hadn't had much of a chance to get to know Serena, as the toddler had just been released from the hospital and was clingy toward her father. Zoey Bartlett had held her during the ceremony, as she used to Zoey. At the reception, Serena had been fussy, only interacting with the First Family and the Senior Staff while ignoring everyone else. Kate and Jonathon had left the next day. They had spoken to Serena over the phone several times in the months after the wedding but hadn't been able to make it to DC again.
About a year and a half after the wedding, Kate's sleep had been disturbed in the middle of the night by the ringing of the phone. Groggily she had answered the phone to a slightly familiar voice that she couldn't quite place. The woman had sounded like she might have been crying, Kate had been instantly on alert. She had flipped a light on as the woman identified herself as CJ Cregg, the White House Press Secretary. Her blood had chilled at the introduction, she had known that the Press Secretary would not be calling her in the middle of the night for any reason that she would actually want to hear. CJ had swallowed hard before telling her that there had been an accident. Just from the weariness in the woman's voice, Kate had known that it was bad.
She and Jonathon had been on a flight to DC within hours. They had arrived shortly before dawn, were taken to the hospital in a car that had been sent for them, only to find reporters congregated outside the hospital entrance. Somehow the reporters had known who they were and had called out questions to them, questions they hadn't had answers for.
Inside the hospital, they had found the White House Senior Staff, as well as a couple of people from their son-in-law's congressional office, congregated in a small waiting room. Everyone had looked so grave, avoiding their questioning eyes as they entered the room. Josh Lyman, Donna's boss, had taken them aside and explained it was serious and that Donna was still in surgery.
Somehow, she and several of the others had managed to fall into a fitful sleep. As she had requested, Josh woke her when the Doctor's came to relate the news that Sam was going to be taken off from life support. From the waiting room door, she had seen President Bartlett and his wife wheel Serena into her father's room. When they emerged from the room less than five minutes later, Serena's body was shaking with sobs that echoed through the nearly empty halls.
It had been the next day when she had the opportunity to see the devastated little girl. She had offered to sit with the Serena while the others were discussing Sam's funeral. When she had stepped into the room, Serena had looked up at her through hollow, red-rimmed eyes. Even in the dark room, Kate had been able to see how pale the little girl was, her arm in a sling.
She had taken the seat next to the little girl and given her a weak smile. Serena had blinked back a tear but hadn't been able to return the smile. Kate had sat with the child for over a half-hour before CJ Cregg relieved her and during that time, Serena didn't say a word.
At the funeral, Serena clung to Josh, her head buried in his neck for the majority of the service. She had stayed away, knowing that Josh could comfort Serena better than she or anyone else could have.
She and Jonathon had stayed in DC for a while after the accident, hoping for a miracle with their daughter. They basically lived at the hospital, hadn't spent much time with Serena. Finally, they had decided that they had to take Donna off of life support. At the hospital, before they all took turns staying goodbye to Donna, Kate held back her tears and tried her hardest to be strong, to hope for a miracle that she knew would not happen. A confused Serena didn't understand what was happening when Josh took her to see Donna before they removed the support system.
The last time that she had been in DC, she took the little girl's mother away, back home to Wisconsin. The child had been hurt and angry. The last time that she had seen Serena, the morose little girl had stared at her dejectedly from Josh's arms. Josh had barely been able to coax a tiny 'bye' out of the child.
Since then, she had spoken to Serena on the phone several times. The little girl had warmed up to her a bit more each time they had talked, but she still worried that there might be problems between them. Every time they saw each other, something bad seemed to happen to the child. That was the type of thing that small children noticed subconsciously.
She just hoped that she'd be able to change things with this visit. That she'd be able to find common ground with Serena, bond with the child.
She had always dreamed of having grandchildren. One of her son's had given her a grandson, but Serena was her only granddaughter. Her only chance of a grandchild from her only daughter. She desperately wanted to know Serena, to be close to Serena.
Yes, Serena was adopted, but Donna hadn't looked at her that way. The day before her wedding to Sam, Donna had confided that she already loved Serena so much, that she didn't think that it would be possible to love her more even if she was her biological child.
"Kate."
At the sound of her husband's voice, Kate broke her reverie, blinked rapidly and looked up.
Jonathon stood and Kate followed his gaze before standing herself.
Josh was walking toward them, wearing a pair of slacks and a shirt that Kate couldn't see as his arms were wrapped around a limp Serena, her head nestled in his shoulder. Zoey Bartlett walked alongside Josh, her agents forming a phalanx around them.
Kate forced back her initial reaction to seeing Zoey. Yes, she had known that they were a couple. She had known that for quite a while. She had seen much of the media coverage right after Josh and Zoey's relationship had been announced. She had to admit that she had been shocked when she'd first heard. She had to admit that she hadn't initially approved of the relationship. Actually, her first reaction had been to wonder if the rumors about Josh's womanizing ways were true. She had thought so for most of the time when Donna was working for him, based on the stories Donna had related in her phone calls home. During the weeks and months after Sam's death, she was around Josh quite a bit. She saw a different side of him, a caring side. Her opinion slowly changed, as she saw him care for Serena, as he ensured that she and Jonathan remained a part of Serena's life through emails, phone calls, videotapes and pictures. And the photos and videotapes showed that Zoey was an intrinsic part of Serena's life.
And Josh had told her that he was bringing Zoey along.
As they approached the older couple, Zoey smiled. She had met Kate and Jonathon before, but hadn't gotten a chance to really get to know them. They had seemed nice though.
As the younger woman smiled at her, Kate gave an answering smile of her own. Zoey did seem like a genuinely nice person.
Once they were close enough, Kate's eyes drifted to Serena. Her head lay on Josh's shoulder with her face facing his. Her eyes were closed, her long, dark lashes contrasting with her pale face. Her very pale face.
Kate raised concerned eyes up to meet Josh's. "Is she alright?"
"She'll be fine. She's just tired."
Kate glanced at Serena's face once more before nodding. Josh knew the child far better than she did.
Jonathon gave them both smiles in greeting. "Let's get your bags." As he led them toward luggage claim, he glanced at each of them. "We had planned on stopping for lunch on the way home." He glanced uncertainly at Zoey's agents. "That is, if your agents would have allowed it. But since Serena's asleep..."
Zoey gave him a smile. "Yes, it's probably better that we just go straight to the house."
************
"Should we change her into pajamas?" Josh asked as he gently laid a still sleeping Serena on the bed in one of Kate and Jonathon's guestrooms.
Zoey studied the little girl. The four-year-old wore a loose, floral printed, yellow jumpsuit. "I think that this is loose enough, it won't restrict her breathing. If we try to change her, we might disturb her sleep."
Josh glanced at Serena doubtfully. He really didn't think that much would disturb the little girl. She had slept throughout their flight, hadn't showed any reaction to the noise or movement as they walked through the busy airport, and had slept through the ride to the house and being carried upstairs. "How about her shoes?"
Zoey nodded as she gingerly sat on the edge of the bed. She unlaced each of Serena's tennis shoes and carefully slipped them from the child's feet. The little girl was wearing yellow socks with lace at the ankles. Zoey left the socks on and stood.
She wouldn't tell Josh but this was really starting to worry her. This didn't seem like Serena. She knew that Serena took a nap every day but she also knew that it wasn't until late afternoon and then only for an hour or so.
As they stood there, both studying the sleeping child on the bed, Josh reached out and wrapped his arm around Zoey's waist, gently pulling her closer to him. He glanced down at her face. She was watching Serena intently, a mixture of emotions crossing her face. She looked worried, scared, and sad at the same time. What was she thinking about? He wondered.
Almost three years before, Zoey had been at Serena's second birthday party. After Serena blew out the candles on her cake and opened all of her gifts, everyone went back to talking but she decided to play with the little girl. Of course, she had known that Serena was a very sick child but, that evening, Serena didn't look sick, didn't act sick. Serena was playful and cheerful, just like Annie had been at that age. The little girl had instantly loved her dollhouse and hadn't wanted to play with anything else. One moment they were carefully placing the tiny furniture in just the right spots and the next Serena was lying on the ground as a scream tore its way up Zoey's throat.
That had been one of the scariest moments of her life. Actually, she could only think of two times when she had been more frightened; the day that she found out her daddy had MS and Rosslyn.
All that she could think of while watching Sam cradle his daughter in his arms, her mother checking Serena's vital signs, hearing her father call for an ambulance, was that somehow she should have stopped it. Somehow, she should have known that it was going to happen, that there had to have been a sign. She was closest in proximity to Serena, she should have noticed that something was wrong.
At the hospital, when she went to Serena's room for the little girl's christening, her eyes were riveted to the child. Serena lay in her hospital bed, so pale that she blended in with the starched white sheets and deathly still. Serena's lack of hair had made the gauntness of her face stand out. Zoey had seen her so many times before but, for some reason, Serena's sickly appearance never sank in until she was lying in the bed like that.
She had seen Serena like that so many times in the weeks that followed that night. After the bone marrow transplant, Serena started to slowly get better. Her hair grew back, thin, wispy, and baby soft like an infant's. Her face lost its gauntness as she gained weight. Color returned to her face.
During the weeks that Serena was in the hospital, she and Donna had become closer. She had always considered the older woman to be a friend but they had never really had much of a chance to spend much time together away from the group. While Serena was recuperating, they really had a chance to talk, to confide in each other.
Zoey had prayed that Serena would never get sick, seriously sick, again. Especially after Josh was granted custody. After Sam died and Donna went into a coma, Josh threw himself into caring for their daughter. He couldn't bear the thought that he might do something wrong. The child became his life, she was all that kept him going for weeks, months. Zoey had known then that if Serena had gotten sick again, Josh wouldn't be able to take it, wouldn't be able to handle losing her too.
However, she didn't think that Josh was as emotionally delicate now. He had moved on - past the accident, Sam's death, Donna's coma. She was pretty sure that if Serena became seriously ill now, Josh would be able to handle it, with her help, her love, her support. But she hoped that this was just a cold.
In all probability, it was a cold or the flu. She was being paranoid, even thinking like this, but when a small child who had had cancer got sick, you had to wonder. You had to be more cautious than other parents.
From the partially open door, Kate observed the three people in the room. Serena lay on the bed, still fast asleep. Josh and Zoey stood next to the bed staring down at the little girl with their arms wrapped around each other. She doubted that the two could possibly be standing any closer together.
Earlier, Josh had told her that Serena was just tired, nothing was wrong, but watching Josh and Zoey, she had to wonder if either of them really thought that. As they watched Serena, concerned expressions flitted over their faces. Both of them seemed quite worried about the little girl.
She stepped farther into the room, "Knock, knock."
Zoey turned from Serena toward the door. Kate had pushed the door open farther and had stepped into the room.
"I thought that you might like a light blanket to put over Serena," Kate said with a smile.
"Thank you." Josh accepted the soft rainbow colored afghan. He approached the bed and gently spread the cover over Serena.
"That's very pretty. Did you crochet it?" Zoey asked as she studied the afghan.
Kate laughed, "Oh no. My crocheting doesn't look half that good. Everything that I make ends up disproportionate in size. My grandmother made that when my children were little."
Kate smiled. "If you're hungry, I made some sandwiches and a platter of fruit and veggies."
"Thank you, Kate." Josh told her.
**********
As she was stacking the lunch dishes to carry them to the sink, Kate glanced at her guests. "Now that we've eaten, would you like for me to show you our house?"
"Sure," Josh said, more than a little of his curiosity betrayed by his voice. When they had come to Wisconsin years before, during the campaign, Kate and Jonathon Moss had come to a rally where Josh had met them for the first time. He had never been here before. He was interested in seeing the home that Donna had grown up in.
Zoey glanced around the large, comfortable, farm-style kitchen. She immediately loved this room and knew that her father would to. She hated small, immaculate, new age looking kitchens that didn't look like you should actually use them to cook. She loved the space and freedom to have fun with cooking and baking.
Off from the kitchen was a glassed-in breakfast room, they had just eaten their lunch there. The room had three walls made of glass. It overlooked a beautiful garden that Kate confessed was her baby.
Kate led them into the living room. They passed by it on their way into the house but didn't actually stop in. As they entered the room, their eyes were drawn to the huge, marble fireplace, which was by far the most dominating feature of the room.
The mantel above the fireplace held a row of pictures. The first was an old family portrait with Jonathon and Kate holding their three small children on their laps. The second picture showed the three kids standing together, Donna was perhaps ten or eleven, her older brothers probably in their early teens. In the third picture, Donna's brother Michael, who was probably five, held an infant Donna on his lap, their father's hands could be seen steadying the baby head. A picture of Tony, his grin disclosing his braces followed. The last picture was of all three of the Moss kids standing together at Tony's wedding, when Donna was seventeen.
The top of the piano held even more pictures. There were a few pictures of the Moss's grandson. A picture of Donna and Sam at the wedding, Serena in her father's arms. There was a picture of Serena that Josh knew Donna had taken on the child's third birthday; he had a copy of this picture on his desk at work.
As Josh glanced at a wall that was almost completely covered in pictures, he knew where Donna had acquired her love of pictures.
The den had a full wall of built in shelves, filled with books. Some of the books looked old, others looked relatively new. Some were paperbacks, Zoey even noticed a few romance novels, but most were hardcover. They were organized by type. Cookbooks had their own shelf. There was a shelf for books about gardening. A few shelves were filled with the classics. There was a full shelf of biographies; Josh noticed several presidential biographies that he had read. The entire bottom row of shelves was dedicated to children's books for all ages of children.
The room had several comfortable chairs that you could relax in to read. There was even a miniature rocking chair that must be for Tony's six-year- old son.
The hardwood floor was softened with scattered throw rugs.
"This was Donna's favorite room when she was little," Kate said as she led them down the basement steps. "She absolutely adored skating." She laughed, "She practically wanted to move into the skating rink so Jonathon turned the laundry into a separate room down here."
As he reached the bottom of the stairs, Josh glanced around, a surprised expression on his face.
"We made the rest of the basement into a skating rink," Kate finished unnecessarily.
Almost the entire area was a skating rink. Directly under the stairs was a seating area that had several folding chairs set up in it. There was a rail separating the area from the rink. Behind the chairs was a long shelf. Several pairs of skates and roller blades lay on the shelf.
"As the kids got older and skates went 'out' they began to blade down here instead. I don't know how many parties we hosted down here over the years," she laughed again as she reminisced.
"This is so cool," Zoey said enthusiastically as she examined the skates, trying to judge their sizes.
"You could both get in some roller blading while you're here," Kate offered. "Maybe teach Serena how to roller blade?"
"Roller blade?" Josh repeated, paling.
Zoey laughed as she picked up a pair, eyeing his feet. "Come on Josh. It is fun."
"More like dangerous," Josh muttered.
"I've been blading since I was a little girl." Zoey met his eyes. "Please?" she said softly.
Josh sighed, he couldn't refuse her puppy eyes. "I'll try it. Once, Zo."
She gave him a bright smile and a quick hug. She knew that once he tried roller blading, he'd like it. And Serena would love it. Kate watched their interplay with interest, perhaps she had misjudged their relationship.
Back upstairs, they stopped in to check on Serena first. After ensuring the child was okay, Josh glanced around, really noticing the room for the first time. The motif of this room seemed to be roses.
The room was painted a very pale pink. Across one of the walls, someone had painted a trellis with climbing roses. From a far, the roses actually looked realistic.
The bedspread was just a shade darker than the walls as were the curtains at the windows. Sunlight filtered in, brightening the room.
Fluffy throw rugs were scattered across the floor.
The pristine white dresser actually had a replica of one of the basins that they used to use for washing up. It was white with pink roses painted onto it.
Kate led them into the bedroom next to that one. "This was the boys' room. They actually chose to share for most of their childhood'."
This room was decorated in red and black. The furniture was very modern looking.
Josh suspected that at one point the room held bunkbeds or twin beds but those had been removed in favor of one bed. The bed frame was made of black metal. The bedding was red.
A tall corner desk stood in the corner of the room. It too was made of black metal. It was empty except for a red electric pencil sharpener and a penholder filled with pens and pencils. Next to the desk was a red wastepaper basket made of plastic.
The walls were jet black. He glanced up and noticed the ceiling. The solar system had been painted onto the ceiling in glow-in-the-dark paint.
Red rugs were strewn across the floor and red curtains hung at the window.
Josh couldn't figure out how anyone had actually been able to live in this room for years. There was just too much red and black. It wasn't understated at all. But it was something that he could see teenagers liking, especially if their parents didn't. He just hoped that he didn't get a headache, staying in this room.
Kate led them across the hall to a room with a closed door. "This was Donna's room."
Zoey followed Kate and Josh across the hall wondering what Donna's room would be like. This whole house had surprised her thus far. She hadn't expected it to have so much character.
"We did this when she was fourteen. Previously, her room was done in bright colors. It rivaled her brothers at shock value. But as a teen she decided that she wanted something quieter to hang in with her friends."
This was certainly quiet, Zoey thought as she looked around. Compared to the rest of the house, this room was boring. But it was pretty.
The walls were plain, stark white. The sliding closet doors were mirrored. Soft blue curtains hung at the windows.
The bed was white wicker, the bedding matched the curtains.
A tall CD tower stood next to an entertainment center. Every slot on the tower was full. Josh was surprised that she had left all of these CDs here. He would have expected her to take most or all of them with her.
The guest bathroom was almost completely blue. It was like stepping into the ocean. The walls were painted a very, deep, dark blue.
Thick, soft rugs nearly covered the tile floor. Even through her shoes, her feet were sinking into the rugs.
The shower had a glass door but a shower curtain covered it anyway. The curtain was done in a lighter blue than the walls and rugs.
The wastebasket was deep blue and had fish printed on it.
A glass hand soap dispenser sat next to the sink. It was shaped like a dolphin. A swan shaped crystal soap dish was next to it. The soap dish held several small decorative soaps in various ocean life shapes. There was a light, metallically green seahorse, a mermaid, a bright red crab, and a jellyfish.
The various shades of blue lent an authentic feel to the bathroom, made it seem multidimensional like the ocean.
"I love it," Zoey said once they had finished.
"Thank you."
"All of the painting is beautiful and very real looking. Did you paint it?"
Kate shook her head. "Jonathon did all of the painting with Donna and Tony's help. I'm not very artistic, well not with paintings. Most of my creativity goes into my garden."
"Uncle Josh?"
All three of the adults turned at the sound of a quiet, scared voice coming from down the hall.
"I'm right here, Angel," Josh assured her when he crouched down next to her.
Serena looked around the hallway. Pictures covered the wall and plants were interspersed on small stands. "Is this Grandma Kate and Grandpa Jonathon's house?"
"It is," Kate confirmed as she and Zoey joined Josh and Serena.
Serena gave her grandmother a shy smile but stayed in Josh's arms.
"Are you feeling better?" Zoey asked.
"Yes."
"I bet you're hungry," Kate said with a smile.
Serena nodded.
"Hmmm. How about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"
"Strawberry jelly?" Serena asked hopefully as she took a step away from Josh, towards her Grandmother.
Kate faked shock at the question. "Is there any other kind?"
Serena giggled as she took Kate's hand.
************
"Wow," Serena said in awe as she turned in every direction, drinking the garden in.
They all stood on the back patio that evening. The patio itself was beautiful but the garden beyond was breathtaking.
The large patio was made for entertaining. Directly across from the door into the kitchen was a huge stone barbecue. Actually, it was more than a barbecue; it was more like an outdoor kitchen. The area was shielded on three sides by the walls of the house and had a canopy covering. The side not protected by a wall had a virtual forest of plant life surrounding it.
Lannon stone steps led down to the second layer of the yard, which was nearly blanketed in scattered flowers. It looked random, but Zoey knew that it wasn't. This look was actually very difficult to achieve and time consuming to maintain.
More steps led to the third layer. This layer was wide enough for someone to stand on, to garden on, but that was about it. The next layer was just a little larger.
The fifth and last layer was quite far from the patio and thus the whole level could not be seen from where they stood. The fence had been constructed on this level. The fence had climbing roses covering it.
Seeing the direction that Zoey's eyes had taken, Kate smiled and asked, "Shall we take a walk down there?"
"Yep," Serena answered enthusiastically and she skipped ahead of the four adults.
As they followed Serena, Josh and Zoey exchanged a relieved look. She had regained her exuberance and seemed to be back to her old self.
Once they had reached the bottom, Kate pulled the gate open and allowed them to precede her inside.
"Whoa," Serena muttered.
"It's glorious," Zoey complimented.
Jonathon grinned. "We had this done when the kids were little. We never had much problem with the boys, but Donnatella. She was mischievous. We needed a contained area for her out here."
This playground was probably a little kid's dream, Josh thought as he looked around. It had everything.
There was a carousel with animals of every type. Each of the creatures had been carved from wood and was very detailed. The paint had begun to chip but it still looked safe.
To the side was a trampoline. Even though it had a safety net there was still several inches of wood chips underneath it.
The swing set had everything that a kid could want on it. It too had wood chips surrounding it for safety reasons.
The sandbox had a protective covering over it to keep small creatures out of it. Next to it was a bucket of sand toys.
The slide was made of heavy duty plastic so that children wouldn't be burnt in the summertime.
There was even a small cement area set aside with various children's bikes and cars. A bucket held jump ropes and balls.
A small shed stood to the side so that the toys could be easily stored if rain was expected.
The whole yard was shaded by tall over-hanging trees. The back fence was lined with shrubs to keep the yard private from the neighbors.
"This is cool!"
"I kind of thought that you'd think that," Kate told Serena. "Would you like to play while we go up to the patio? We'll call you when dinner is ready."
"Sure!"
"I don't know."
"She'll be fine, Josh," Jonathon assured him. "We'll be right up there, she can call us if she needs us."
Josh studied the yard one more time before reluctantly nodding. He couldn't watch her twenty four-seven. He needed to start allowing her more freedom. Everyone said so, including Leo and the President. Well, he could start now, slowly though.
"I'll start the hamburgers," Jonathon said once they were back on the patio.
"I'll help," Josh offered.
Zoey laughed. "You just want to make sure that yours is burnt."
Jonathon wrinkled his nose but said nothing. People had different tastes, he guessed, though he'd never thought that he'd meet someone who liked burnt food.
As the guys barbecued, Zoey helped Kate by chopping the vegetables up for a salad.
As they worked silently, side by side, Kate glanced over at Zoey's agents who stood unobtrusively to the side. The agents just stood there, silently watching their charge. Kate had to wonder how Zoey could handle it, having people watching her all of the time, having to basically get permission before she went anywhere. She didn't think that she would be able to handle it as well as Zoey seemed to.
"How's Donna doing?" Zoey asked as she sliced a tomato.
Kate glanced down at the diced fruit. She really hadn't expected Zoey Bartlett to be able to do such a thing. She wouldn't have expected Zoey to even try but Zoey had insisted. She had thought the younger woman polite but distant on the previous occasions when they had met but she had never seen her in this kind of setting. She had expected Zoey to be pampered, spoiled. She was pleasantly surprised so far.
"We stopped by to see her this morning on our way to the airport. They were in the middle of physical therapy."
Zoey's eyes widened. "Physical therapy. Did she...? I mean..."
"The therapist does all of the work. It is basically to move her muscles so that they don't atrophy or clot from lack of use. They do it every day."
"So there still isn't any change?"
"No," Kate answered sadly. "The longer that goes by..."
"Yeah," Zoey agreed softly.
"Has Serena mentioned her mother?" Kate asked curiously.
"Last week she drew a picture that she said she was going to bring Donna. I haven't heard her mention Donna since then. I think that she'll want to see her while we're here though." She put the diced tomato into a bowl. She briefly considered whether to discuss Josh's feelings on the matter, then decided it best that she tell Kate, in case the older woman had an adverse reaction. "Basically, Josh's philosophy is to not mention Donna to Serena. If Serena asks a question, he answers as truthfully as possible, including health questions, but he doesn't force the info on her."
"So, when she asks to see her mother, he'll take her but not before then?"
"Pretty much."
"Will he see Donna?" Kate wanted to know.
"Of course, that's why he came. And one of the reasons why I came. I can play with Serena, take her for ice cream or to the park, while he visits with Donna." She turned to face Kate. "I can tell that you don't agree with Josh on this, but Serena has been through so much. Too much. This makes it easier for her."
"It isn't my place to agree or disagree. She is his child now, in every way, now that the adoption went through." She hadn't meant to sound harsh, but her voice reflected her inner feelings.
Zoey sighed. "He isn't trying to replace them. He is doing the best that he can with a situation that was presented to him."
Kate glanced over to make sure that the men were still busy and weren't paying attention to the conversation. She knew Josh well enough to know that she didn't want to know what his reaction would be. "I understand that. I respect him for that. Not every single man would take his best friend's child like this. His love for that little girl is obvious. What I have to wonder is why he had to make it legal."
She paused as she wiped her hands with a kitchen towel, then looked as Zoey. "He had legal custody, why did he have to adopt her?"
Kate took a breath. "It was already in their hearts. All that putting it on paper did was completely sever Donna's parental rights."
A light bulb went on in Zoey's head. Now she knew what this was all about. "Well, that's one of the reasons why he waited so long to do this, to make it official."
She turned to look at the older woman, she wanted to make sure that Kate understood what she was saying. "But Kate, it's been over two years now. Did you want for him to wait forever, before getting on with his own life? Before letting Serena move on? How healthy do you think that that would be for Serena? For both of them to live in limbo?"
"I know that it has been a long time, but it is still possible. There could still be a miracle."
Zoey could see so much mixed hope and pain in the older woman's eyes that she couldn't really be angry with her for feeling this way. In the same situation, she would probably feel the same. Yet, that didn't mean that Kate was right.
Kate continued, "When Donna survived being taken from life support, even your mother said that she didn't think that God would give us a miracle like that without letting Donna wake up."
"But that was so long ago. I don't think that she still thinks that. And she was talking as a friend, not as a doctor. Don't get me wrong, I still hope for Donna to wake up, still pray for it, but after a certain amount of time you have to move on from something like this."
After several moments of silence, Zoey spoke again. "Serena doesn't remember her," she whispered. "I mean, she remembers seeing her in the hospital the last time, seeing her laying there, lifeless. We tell her stories and show her pictures; but she has no real memories of Donna or Sam anymore. She was just so young when it happened. Josh is the only parental figure that she remembers. "
Kate looked startled at those words.
Zoey continued quickly, as it was best to lay all the cards on the table and have it out now with Kate, before Josh came into the conversation. "Even if he hadn't legally adopted her, she still wouldn't have known Donna as her mother, she wouldn't think of Donna that way. Donna is not Serena's mother. That was the consequence of the accident, not the adoption."
With those words, Zoey turned and headed toward the steps, calling over her shoulder, "I'll get Serena."
Kate stood there wordlessly, then picked up the salad and carried it over to the picnic table as Zoey's words sunk in. Zoey was right. None of them, save Serena, had been in that car that night, yet they were all victims of the accident. It wasn't fair for her to blame Josh for this, it wasn't his fault. He was doing what he felt was best for that little girl and that was what Sam and Donna had wanted him to do. She couldn't blame him for loving the child, for providing her with a family.
As she placed salad dressing on the table, she glanced over to the steps. She could see Zoey and Serena walking up them, Serena's hand wrapped around Zoey's as the child chattered about something. Zoey seemed to be listening intently, her attention solely on the child. It was becoming clear to Kate that Zoey really loved Serena and that Serena reciprocated. Zoey was becoming part of Josh and Serena's little family. How long would it be before Serena started calling them Mommy and Daddy, she wondered. Before any possibility of Donna returning to her previous role as Serena's mother was wiped out?
*************
