I'm going to detour from my usual style of serious writing for a story or two. Anyways, here it goes.
This Chapter Skipped the Beginning and Starts in the Middle of Somewhere
"Any questions?" Tails opened his eyes sleepily and looked at the clock. There were roughly four minutes of class remaining. "Tails?" Tails suddenly sat straight up. "Can you tell me what we've learned today?" Tails blinked rapidly and thought hard... unbelievably hard... so hard it hurt, but he just couldn't get past the reality that he had slept all period.
"Uh... I gotta piss something fierce." There was silence, followed by laughter.
"I want to see you after class." Tails stood up.
"But didn't you hear me? I gotta piss something fierce! You want me to piss on your floor?" This angered the teacher.
"Go to the office!" Tails shook his head.
"Damnit woman. I gotta take a piss!" Just then the principal walked in. Tails seemed to not care.
"I heard a naughty word! Who in here is speaking naughtily?" Tails laughed.
"Naughtily?" The principal saw no problem with this word.
"Yes, naughtily. Something wrong?" The teacher spoke before Tails could.
"Tails has been very rude. He slept through class, and refused to obey me." The principal shook his head.
"Uh-huh. I see. Tails, come here." Tails lowered his head in slight anger.
"I gotta... take... a piss." The principal gasped and covered his mouth with his hand.
"What did you say?!" Tails raised his eyebrow.
"I'm getting tired of repeating myself." The principal then... you know what? It doesn't matter what the principal then did. You know why? Cause Tails doesn't care. So let's move on to the next scene, shall we?
"What? Another one?! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Tiffany seemed extreemly upset at Tails' seventh detention in two weeks. Tails, however, didn't seem to care.
"Nothings wrong, it's not that big a deal. Besides, I'm dropping out anyway." Just then Knuckles walked in.
"GOD DAMNIT!" Tails and Tiffany jumped.
"What's wrong?" Knuckles glared at Tails for a few seconds.
"I GOT FIRED FROM PAULIE'S PUDDING FOR SMUGGLING PUDDING!" Tails blinked... blinked... blinked... then fell to his hands and knees laughing.
"DAMNIT BOY, I'MA KICK YOUR ASS INWARD!" Knuckles took two steps up to Tails when he was thrown back by a marvelous kick delivered from Tiffany.
"Back off, it is rather funny." Knuckles laid on the floor in a rather pissed off mood. Suddenly Tails stopped laughing and he grabbed his stomach. Tiffany looked at him worridly.
"What's wrong? You ok?" Tails stood up and ran out of the room saying,
"I FORGOT TO PISS!" Knuckles stood up unconcerned and turned on the tv. Tiffany turned it off, angering Knuckles again.
"What in the blazes are you doin woman?!" Tiffany put her hands on her hips.
"You need to find another job." Knuckles stood up and felt like hitting her, but refrained.
"I JUST GOT FIRED FROM MY DREAM JOB!" Tears began to fill his eyes. "THE CHOCOLATY GOODNESS THAT IS PUDDING THAT HAD ONCE FILLED MY EVERYDAY WITH JOY IS NOW GONE! AND YOU DON'T CARE AT ALL, DO YOU!" Tiffany started to laugh, but stopped when she saw Knuckles cry a little more.
"Knuckles, laughs you can get pudding at the grocery store for..." Knuckles looked up.
"?! I CAN?! WELL WTF AM I SITTING AROUND HERE FOR?! I GOTTA GET ME SOME GOODIES!" Knuckles invented the incredable insta-door (a hole in the wall) as he raced to the nearest shopping isle... no, it's not a store, it's an isle. Don't get it? Deal with it.
Artail was walking down some old street in Center Square when an old bum approached him. "Hello, my name is Bungalo Joe. Might I interest you in a magical button?" Artail smiled big after thinking.
"A magic button? What's it do?" Bungalo Joe stood blankly.
"It's... magic... what do you think it does?" Artail put his finger on his chin and thought for a moment.
"Ummm... export cows to China?" Bungalo Joe stood blankly... again.
"You're not too bright are you?" Artail blinked twice before replying un-angerly.
"Are you old?" Bungalo Joe took a mighty step foward and thrusted the button towards Artail.
"IT'S MAGIC, YOU WANT IT OR NOT?!" Artail smiled and nodded vigerously.
"Yes!"
"30,000 rings." Artail whipped out 30,001 rings and gave them to Bungalo Joe.
"YES! I GOTTA MAGIC BUTTON THINGIE!" Artail pushed the button and disappeared.
Tails went upstairs to use the bathroom when Espio poofed in front of him. "Tails... I need your help." Tails raised his eyebrow.
"Help with what?" Espio answered somewhat desperately.
"I need help with... with..." Espio's voice got real tiny like. "..." Tails lowered his head in annoyance.
"I don't have time for your stupid little happy grab ass games."
"..." Tails sighed.
"I can't you hear you, you stupid horned eggplant." Espio attempted to raise his voice... notice I said attempted. "Damnit Espio, I gotta go!" Espio preceeded to intrude his plans.
"I need help with-"
"TAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tiffany came running up the stairs angerly. Espio jumped and poofed. Tails turned and looked happy... looked.
"What's wro-" Tiffany kicked Tails into the doorknob pile behind him (Artail likes to collect things). "What?"
"What the hell is this?" Tiffany whipped out a cd. Tails looked at the shiney spinny thing in confusion.
"It's a cd..." Tiffany threw the cd at him.
"What's on it?" Tails got hit in the head with the cd (VONAGE!) and felt excrutiating pain. He rubbed his head as he looked at the cd and froze. 'I thought I threw this damn thing away... god damnit Artail' Tiffany put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot. "Well?" Tails pondered, then had an idea.
"What do you think is on it?" Tiffany seemed motionless for a few seconds before answering.
"You're only 17 Tails, that's not legal..." Tails blinked and lol'd.
"What?! You think this cd is porn?!" Tails laughed his ass off, leaving Tiffany in a somewhat embarresed state. After Tails calmed down, he stood up and explained. "This cd has theorys of relativity for school." Tiffany slowly smiled.
"Oh... I'm sorry." She walked over to Tails and Kissed him on the forehead. Then walked away. Tails sighed and broke the porn cd. Just as he was heading to the bathroom, Espio appeared with an item behind his back.
"Wtf do you want?!" Espio looked down ahamed.
"I need help with this." Espio pulled out pop can. Tails' face was blank for at least 5 seconds.
"I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!" Tails pushed Espio out of the way and went into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.
Knuckles soon came back with a large sack. Sonic opened the door as Knuckles was stumbling over. "HEY SONIC! GUESS WHAT? I GOT PUDDING!!!!!" Knuckles' voice went extremely high when he said pudding, throwing Sonic back on his back.
"I'm... happy for you Knuckles... but... it's just pudding..." Knuckles' eyes went anime on the world.
"Just... just... just pudding...?" He dropped the sack of pudding and ran away crying. Sonic scratched his head and insta-chillie dogged some food from behind his back. As he was eating it, Tails came up behind him in a rather pissed mood.
"God damnit." Sonic looked over as he chewed the food.
"Mmfwhaf?" Tails' face slowly showed sings of progressing anger.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?!" Just then Artail zipped behind him.
"GUESSWHAT!" Tails' face froze in horrer before jumping in the air, scared shitless. When he came back down, Tails whipped around faster than whipped cream and readied a fist. Just as he swung he heard Artail speak.
'BUHBYE!" Poof! Tails' fist carried his body in an upward spinny motion, landing with a hard thud. Which was followed by,
"SUNOFABITCH!" Sonic looked on in confusion as Tails' anger only worsend when Knuckles pudding found it's way on his face. He cleared it off and saw Shadow standing right in his face.
"Blue berries are squishy." Tails dissapeared from anger.
