This is the follow up to the great Band Practice by ave summa that it only makes slightly more sense have you read it first, you can find it in my favourites. I don't own any Tomb Raider Characters, Dracula, The Birdie Song, Madonna or That Dress. If I did life would be very different half of the above wouldn't exist for a start.
Lara looked upon her assembled troops and despaired. The idea had been good and somewhere along the line she had provided logic for hiring a group of ex crime lords. She felt the reason pretty much broke down to two things, One they were expendable, Two they pretty much all the people she knew.
'Alright, you all know why you're here now lets just suck it up go out their and give them the best show of their lives. Oh, yeah, and steal that star thing. What is it Larson?'
'I don't know why I'm here.'
'Didn't Pierre explain that to you? Where is he and the old fart anyway.' The two came walking around the corner, Pierre was tucking his shirt into his trousers as he came. Lara groaned. She had suggested that they should have some kind of uniform dress code, she had advised that they search music channels and magazines to see what people in "The Bizz" wore, she hadn't however insisted on a dress rehearsal. She regretted that now. Natla was wearing a safe enough figure-hugging red number which showed every sign of splitting should she so much as move. Sophia was wearing what she insisted was ripped off by Madonna and not the other way round, Lara took a mental note not to bend down lest she lose an eye. Von Croy who Lara had half expecting to wear a Third Reich uniform was in fact wearing a pin stripe suit and bowler combination that almost suited him. Pierre currently removing his out side clothing was wearing, well, the only word that fitted was Leather beyond that words failed. As for Larson…
'Larson you haven't even bothered.'
'Yes I did, you said casual was Ok.'
'But you always wear that.'
'Pierre allows me to dress casual at work.'
'I really really do.' Lara shuddered.
'Right you all know vhy you are here now let us just suck it up go out zer and give zem the best show of their lives.'
'I just said that!'
'I'm sorry, I had assumed as manager the pep talk was my responsibility.' Despite being pretty much the best singer of the lot Von Croy didn't fit the scene much to his disgust he had however accepted the responsibility of Band Manager with great reverence. Lara had quite fancied her self as a singer but she couldn't sing so she had landed lead guitarist. Larson hadn't been smart enough to take drums so naturally he was the Bass player, unbelievably his natural talent with a banjo helped here. Natla had been quite happy on drums meaning she got to repeatedly hit things. Sophia gracefully accepted keyboards as she liked the way she looked playing them. Surprisingly Pierre was a good singer so had claimed lead vocals for his own.
'Right then. Lets rock!'
'Can't yet Hillary hasn't finished getting the stuff out the van.'
'The small elderly butler walked in zigzagging across the floor he finally managed a half collapse with left most of the instruments on the floor and not on him, he pottered off again to fetch the rest.
'Are sure it was a good idea making him Roadi?'
'Vhy not?'
'Well he is a bit old.'
'Nonsense, he is a figure of health and but a tenth of my age.'
'And Sophia's sneered Natla nastily.
'Hah, like you can talk Grandma.'
It was five minutes later, Lara walked on stage followed by the rest, she herself was wearing a ripped jean and padlocked British flag T-Shirt which she hopped was punk, as she figured it if they pretended to be a punk band at least people wouldn't ask why they where so bad. They took up station. Pierre brushed a girlish lock from his face.
'Err hello London may I say it's a pleasure to be here in your beautiful city.' For some reason the audience weren't buying it so they broke out into their first song. Badly.
'Psst.' Sophia whispered to Lara as she danced past. 'What's the plan?'
'Well we give them "Paradise Found" "Don't queen this Cow!" Burst out in the "Birdie Song" then wrap it up with "Bite My Neck Out" and "Who Stole My Dwarf?"'
'Nah nah what's the plan about the star?'
'Oh, well we play so we get their full attention then Voon Croy and Hillary sneak out and grab the star while they're distracted, we then scraper in the interlude.' Their eyes were drawn to the star hanging above the frenzied dancers. Lara returned to her erratic attempts at dancing whilst playing, she brushed past Larson several times before she realised something was amiss.
'Larson you git your playing Yankee-Doodle.'
'Oh shit, sorry it was the first page in the book.' "Paradise Found" having been founded ground to a halt, Pierre introduced there next song and even Larson seemed to have the same one in mind. The audience's interest perked up a bit. One of them tried to climb up on stage, Larson applied Bass Guitar to head which actually improved what he played.
When they got to the "Birdie Song" the entire audience rushed the stage but probably in protest, by the time "Bite My Neck Out" was playing Lara could see Von Croy and Hillary unbolting the star.
It was later. They where drunker.
'Yetish I thought whatsh could be better, everyone knows they shell for millionsh.'
'What where we talking about.'
'Why shucks.'
'Bluh!'
'Alright who invited Dracula?'
'I thought it was a pity you know that we didn't get that star thing.'
'Doesn't matter.'
'Yeah I was only gonna steal it off you chumps anyway.'
' Thanksh.'
'Yah me too I fear.'
'That was pretty much the plan.'
'I knew you would, suppose It doesn't matter now, at least she doesn't seem to be doing anything really bad.'
'Bluh!.'
'Oh that reminds me when I went to get a juice there was a note on her fridge about her plans for world domination.'
'Nah, really?'
'Yep.'
'I shouldn't worry about that everybody writes them and never follows through on them.'
'Yep.'
'Yah
'Bluh!'
'Oh shut up Dracula.'
