Plenty of Time
By: nanacole20
*This is a follow-up to Hunters. Some of the dialog is from the episode the rest is from my imagination. I own nothing.*
Chapter 1
She felt like a puppet in the show of life. She was the one on stage smiling, waving, jumping, and talking. Laughing, crying, and taking all the risks with all of the other puppets, but it felt as though there was someone else who was backstage and out of sight pulling all strings.
She tried to look busy, and untroubled, but in the end handed the bridge over to Chakotay, and went into her ready room. As she sat at her computer terminal, Captain Kathryn Janeway reflected on all that had happened this last week.
When she had first heard the garbled transmission her interest had been piqued, was it a distress call? Was it a warning? The more she listened the more interested she became. When Harry had said it was coming through the relay net they had used to send the doctor to the Alpha Quadrant, her thoughts went into overdrive. Was it Starfleet contacting them? Did they know a way to get Voyager home? Or were they going to have to find their own way, taking the longest route and possibly the rest of their lives? She was sure that similar thoughts were going through the rest of the bridge staff's minds.
When the transmission had cut out she ordered the ship to the relay station. When they found out that most of the transmission was letters from home, the crew was overjoyed. Most of the letters from home were good news; babies had been born, the joy that had come from finding out Voyager was alive. Some letters, like hers, had been bad news. Even though she had outwardly said several times that she hoped Mark would move on with his life, she hadn't really meant it. And it hurt. But also it set something free in her that she could not explain.
Later, when Tuvok and Seven's shuttle had been found adrift, and no Tuvok or Seven inside, she knew what would probably have to happen. And sure enough, as soon as they had gotten them back from the unknown species, Captain Janeway had ordered the destruction of the relay network. Right then, as she watched one explosion, she saw in her mind a very different one, one that had happened almost four and a half years ago. She wondered if she had, yet again, sentenced Voyager to the Delta Quadrant.
With this last thought, Kathryn was brought back to the present. She taped an icon on her computer and started on her logs for the day.
"Captain's log supplemental: Seven of Nine and Commander Tuvok suffered no serious physical damage after their encounter on the alien ship. I've been eager to hear Tuvoks' impressions of the species who took them hostage, and what it might mean for Voyagers' future."
As she ended her log she decided that now was as good a time as any to talk to Tuvok. "Tuvok to the ready room."
"On my way, Captain." Tuvok answered quickly.
When he entered the ready room less than a minute later, she saw that he carried a PADD with him. Kathryn smiled, she should have known that he had already written his report on what had happened to him and Seven.
As he handed the report to her he said, "You wanted to see me, Captain?"
She glanced down at the PADD, sure enough, it was his report. But instead of reading through it, she looked up at Tuvok. "So, tell me what happened with these new aliens," she said brusquely.
"I learned very little about them. But I believe we should consider them extremely dangerous. They seem to lack any moral center."
Great, she thought, another species that is now our enemy. "Do you know why the relay network was so important to them?" She asked Tuvok, not really paying attention. Her mind kept wandering to the many reasons why it had been so important to Voyager.
"No. I assume they used it for communications, as we did."
"Well they won't be using it anymore." She said deflated.
"They won't be pleased about that Captain. I doubt we've seen the last of them."
As he said it, she realized just how much they had lost in the past few hours. She rubbed her forehead in frustration. To Kathryn Janeway, home seemed father away now than it ever had before. These thoughts kept her occupied for several seconds, before her ready room door chime startled her out of her reverie.
"Come in." She said with a deep sigh. When she looked up she saw the face of her first officer and best friend.
Chakotay paused a moment when he saw Tuvok. Kathryn noticed his slight hesitation and looked to Tuvok to check if there was anything else. When they made eye contact Tuvok discreetly looked toward Chakotay and then back to her. With that small gesture she knew Tuvok understood her want to talk to Chakotay alone. Tuvok then very politely excused himself from the room. When the doors swished shut behind him Kathryn got goose bumps up and down her arms.
"Repair teams have inspected the ship from stem to stern. Except for some maintenance that's needed on the warp coils, everything's fine," he reported with efficiency that even Seven of Nine would be proud of. He took another breath as if to he wanted to say more but the stopped himself. If he had been talking to anybody else, he would have been able to pass it off as just a deep breath, but Kathryn had come to know him and his habits very well over the past few years.
"I suppose so," she said amused at his obvious want to say more, but not able to come up with a way to start except, "Want some coffee?"
"Thanks," he said, his shoulder relaxing in gratitude for the delay.
"Cream and sugar?"
"Two sugars."
"Oh, two sugars?" She said grimacing slightly trying to hide her dislike of anything but her plain black coffee, so as not to offend Chakotay and his sweet tooth.
"You know, you drink too much of that stuff." He said in a teasing but concerned tone.
"Really?" She asked skeptically.
"If I'm not mistaken that's your third cup this morning."
"Fourth. And on a day like today, it won't be my last. Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised." She saw Chakotay roll his eyes. She knew her addiction to coffee amused him. " It's gotten me through the worst of the last three years." When he didn't comment on that remark, she tried a different tactic to make him laugh. "I beat the Borg with it." It worked. She loved making him smile, it was a balm to her hurting heart.
As they sat down on her couch, her mind wandered back to what he had first said when he had walked into her ready room, she picked up the conversation, as if they hadn't been sidetracked. "Oh, I'm sure Voyager will be fine." Putting her feet up on her table, she paused, thinking. "But I'm worried that her crew might be a different story. I think they were hoping that mail call would become a regular part of their day."
"Neelix is putting together an impromptu party. He thought it might cheer them up."
"Good idea. When will it be?" She asked with a small smile.
"As soon as he can get people together."
She felt her smile grow bigger until it covered her whole face as she said, "Leave it to Neelix to come up with the right idea at the right time."
With a little hesitation he asked, "How are you doing?"
"Me? I'm fine." She lied as she thought about everything that had happened recently.
"You'd say that if you'd just had your legs torn off by a Traken Beast," he said with an understanding smile. "Look at what you've been through the last few days. We finally make a connection with home and then it's ripped away from us." She laid her head back on the couch hoping he would get the hint and stop. Of course he didn't. "We managed to make another enemy who's going to try to hunt us down and, destroy us. And, on top of that…." He hesitated for a second too long.
Picking her head back up she said it for him, "It's all right you can say it. On top of all that I got a 'Dear John' letter." Saying it out loud hurt more than she realized it would. Looking into her coffee cup she said softly, "Wasn't really a surprise." Fighting back tears she continued, "I guess I didn't really expect him to wait for me, considering the circumstances." Putting on a brave face she said, "But, it made me realize that I was using him as a safety net, you know? As a way to avoid becoming involved with someone else."
"You don't have that safety net anymore." He said boldly.
"That's right." She decided it was time to change the subject. "Then again, my life is far from uneventful here in the Delta Quadrant." Kathryn tried not to notice the small smile that crossed his lips as she said this. "It's not like I would have had a chance to pursue a relationship," she paused, thinking about the hurt and hope that was warring inside of her. "Even if I had realized I was alone."
Without hesitation he argued her last statement. "You're hardly alone. And to my way of thinking, there is still plenty of time."
"Plenty of time." She was struck again by how completely unreachable, and far away home felt.
By the questioning look in his eyes, she could tell that Chakotay had wanted to ask her what she had meant, but before he was able to Neelix's voice interrupted.
"Neelix to the ready room, the party is about to begin, and there are only two people missing!"
"We're on our way!" The Captain said with authority, giving Chakotay a "figures" smile, wishing that they had some more time together. She set down her coffee and stood up. Looking back at the spot where Chakotay had been sitting she was surprised to not see him there. When she looked around she saw that he was standing in front of her offering her is arm. She took it with a laugh and they headed to the holodeck, for what, she was sure, was going to be a bitter-sweet party.
Chapter 2
They walked arm in arm all the way to the holodeck. The party was being held at Sandrine's, somewhere the crew had always loved to gather together. The party turned out to be more fun than she thought it would be. They played some pool; Tom played a good game and almost beat her this time. She talked to B'Elanna and Seven for a long time about the warp coils, and ways they could increase their efficiency. When the doctor sat down at the piano and started to play and old ragtime number, Neelix grabbed her by the hand, claiming that he had been studying Earths' culture, and they started to "dance" around the room.
She laughed the whole night. And while she laughed she was constantly aware of where Chakotay was and that he was watching her. Even while he had been talking to Mr. Ayalya she had noticed that his gaze rarely left her.
After a couple hours the crew started to clump together in corners to sit down and talk over their drinks. When Kathryn had made sure that she said hello to every one of her crew, and after she had wished Naomi Wildman good night, she went over and joined the corner where her senior staff was congregated.
"….and then, after all that, he decides to try a piece, after all 'What can it hurt?'" Harry paused for a moment to chuckle. "Needless to say, she hasn't tried to host a Klingon Day of Honor since!"
The group all burst out laughing. Kathryn wondered what the whole story had been about, and was again hit with a deep sorrow about what her letter had contained. As the group continued to share what their letters had said, she realized that she hadn't heard from anyone in her family.
Had Starfleet been unable to contact them? Why hadn't they written? Or had they, and their letters been lost when the relay station was destroyed? These and a hundred other questions popped unwillingly into her mind.
With these thoughts and questions going through her head, she felt her smile slowly sliding off her face. Rubbing the back of her neck, trying to regain her composure, she looked up and made eye contact with Chakotay, at the same time remembering that he was still watching her from across the circle of friends. A frown was pulling slightly at the corners of his mouth they continued to stare at each other. With that small frown she knew he had seen her moment of depression and was concerned about her.
Kathryn decided that now was a good time to excuse herself for the night, reminding everyone that they all still had work in the morning as an excuse to get out of there quickly. As she made her way toward the exit, she hoped that no one would want to talk to her about anything. Luckily no one did and she was able to make a clean getaway.
She heard the door swish closed behind her and thought about what the rest of her evening would include, realizing that it was only 2100 hours. Wishing that it was later and she could just crawl into bed, she decided instead to take a hot bath and read some poetry before turning in.
While she was waiting for the turbo lift, she heard a door swish open and the noise from the party spill out into the hallway. When she looked around she was pleasantly surprised to see that Chakotay was walking toward her.
When he reached her he gave her the smile he reserved just for her, dimples and all. She saw it falter a little and guessed that her smile looked more forced than she had meant it to. Kathryn knew from the way he was leaning toward her, as if he was about to wrap her in his arms, that he could tell there was a battle was going on in her mind, and also knew that he was about to ask about her if she was okay. She didn't give him the opportunity. She reassembled her features quickly, and giving him a sideways look with her eyebrow raised, said very sarcastically, "You don't seem very tired."
He composed his features as fast as she had and playing along he said, "I'm not. I was getting a little bored but didn't want to be rude by being the first one to leave." He paused for a breath. With a small smile he continued, "With the captain's reminder that we all have work in the morning, I made the excuse and left." She gave him a questioning look, not believing his story for a second.
With a sigh he said, "Fine you caught me, you looked a little upset. I thought you might like some company on the way to your quarters."
Thinking about it for a minute, she came the conclusion that-, if it was his company then she definitely wanted it. She realized he was waiting for an answer and said honestly, "I would. Thank you."
As they fell into step with each other an easy conversation started, and they found themselves outside her quarters in what felt like no time at all. Their conversation stopped as soon as they reached her door. They were both quiet for a minute, each one absorbed in their own thoughts.
Kathryn didn't know what he was thinking, but she knew that now that she was in his company she didn't want to be alone. She thought about it for a minute and then asked, "Would you like to come in for a while?"
Without missing a beat he said, "That would be nice, thank you."
When they got inside she automatically walked over to the replicator and ordered some coffee, asked if he wanted anything, and took off her jacket. Kathryn noticed again that he was watching her. She decided that she wasn't going to worry about it.
Deciding not to worry about it, she grabbed her coffee and, his tea and they walked over and sat down on her couch. She tucked her legs up beneath her and their conversation picked up right where it had left off in the hallway. They had always been at ease talking to each other. If she said something witty, then he would jump right in with a funny retort. They kept this up for hours, until they were both rolling around laughing so hard they could barely breathe.
They were also able to talk about serious kinds of things, their worry about getting everyone home safely and if they might see the Borg again. Not to mention the people of Voyager themselves; how Seven was fitting in, what they could do to help Neelix boost morale, and so on.
When they finally looked at the clock and saw that it was after 0200, Chakotay decided it was time for him to go. Uncurling her legs out from under her, Kathryn found she could not feel anything except a slight tingling in her toes. As she shifted her weight onto them and stood up, a white-hot poker of pain shot up from the balls of her feet all the way up to her hips making her cry out in pain. As the floor drew nearer she flung out her arms to catch herself on anything within reach. Chakotays well muscled arms were what she found.
Kathryn turned her head intending on thanking him, but right then another wave of pain hit and she felt tears sting her eyes. She saw the concern for her in his eyes right before he bent down and scooped her into his arms, somewhat relieving the pain in her legs. Unfortunately the pain only diminished for a few seconds, then it was back with a fierce vengeance that turned her tears into sobs.
He laid her gently on the couch, with her head at one end, while he sat just below her hips with her legs draped over his lap. For several minutes Kathryn was unaware of anything except the pain of the blood rushing back into her toes.
When the pain subsided enough that she was able to focus in on her surroundings she found out that Chakotay was massaging the blood flow back into her legs. She propped herself up on her elbows and watched him for a minute. She watched as his hands started high up on her right thigh and worked their way down all the way to her pinky toe, then they would gently slide back up the inside of that leg and once he reached a certain point move to the left leg and do the same thing over again.
He had always taken such good care of her. Why had she never really seen that before? As she looked at his outlined profile, the gratitude she felt towards him was replaced by a passionate fire. The fire started deep down in her stomach and continued to spread until it filled her almost to bursting.
After the third time he had gone up her left leg, he moved to her upper right thigh to start the circuit again, but this time she put her hand on top of his and stopped its progress. She slid his hand up to her hip and let it rest there. She then looked slowly into his deep, dark eyes and saw a hunger there that she had never seen before.
When he slowly leaned in and caught her lips with his, she accepted them without any hesitation. His soft lips gently pressed against hers in an almost experimentive way.
After being there for only a few seconds, he started to pull away, but tonight she knew that she was not going to let anything come between her and this man that she loved so much. She quickly entwined her fingers into his dark hair and brought their lips back together, and this time they had a more firm hold on each other. She was grateful when he didn't try to pull away again. The kiss grew deeper and deeper as they continued to hold onto each other.
When she could fully feel her legs again, she decided it was time for a more comfortable position. She sat up all the way and with his hand still on her hip swung one leg over his lap and straddled him. This gave her easier access to his mouth, and jaw line, while he had much more room to play with her neck and collar bone.
This didn't last long before Chakotay's hands slid down her back and placed them both firmly on each cheek giving them a firm squeeze, he picked her up to take her to her bed, deciding it was time to properly tuck her in for the night.
Chapter 3
When the alarm went off the next morning Kathryn turned it off and rolled over to see Chakotay propped up on his elbow watching her sleep. She snuggled into him and sighed in content.
Suddenly what they had done hit Kathryn with a force so hard that it brought quiet tears to her eyes. She silently lay in his arms with a battle going on inside her. On the one hand she could refuse to let him go and say "to hell with Starfleet and their protocols." On the other hand, what would she do if he were to go on an away mission and never come back? How would she live with herself knowing she had put him in that danger?
She laid there for another minute mentally preparing herself for what she knew she had to do. Slowly she pulled away from him, and got up and put her robe on. When she turned to face him she had put her "captains" face back on, to tell him how it had to be.
She had been steeling herself for a fight but when she saw his face she knew he understood. He walked over to her, put his arms around her and pulled her close. It only took that small gesture for her to come apart. He felt her tears stinging his skin and began to console her.
"It will be alright. We both knew this would probably happen. I just want you to know how much I have always, and will always love you."
"It's not fair!" She cried, "I love you so much I don't ever want to leave this room, or your arms, for that matter, ever again! Why am I the Captain? Why can't I be allowed to love you with all that I am?"
Silent tears were now falling down his face as well. "You are the Captain, because you are the best woman for the job. You know how to be a leader to everyone. In a crew of 146 when you make a decision, they all listen and there are no arguments, well accept maybe B'Elanna," He said trying to ease the tension a little. "You inspire confidence. You are an amazing woman. And when we make it back to the Alpha quadrant, you can be sure we will be together."
"IF we make-" Kathryn said, voicing her fears out loud.
"No. WHEN we make it back, I will be yours for the rest of my life."
With that he kissed the top of her head, and quickly got dressed. As he was walking out her door, he turned around and said, "See you on the bridge, Captain," as a last reminder that they were Captain and her first officer once again.
The End.
