AN: Random thought floating through my head; tell me what you think!


Derek watched her from the nurses' station while she was flipping through files looking for something. He was supposed to be filling out some paper work for a patient, but his eyes were drawn to her. They always were.

She was the forbidden fruit that Derek knew he couldn't have, but that didn't stop him from yearning for her all the same…

Meredith sighed and shook her head in frustration. Derek set down his pen and took the first step to go over and help her, however, somebody beat him to it. O'Malley. He had a thing for Meredith; everyone in the hospital seemed to know about it, except for her.

Derek envied George, as Meredith's eyes lit up when he tapped her on the shoulder and said something to her. She nodded her head and George began shuffling through papers in search of whatever.

Bowing out gracefully, Derek scurried away and into the shadows. What is wrong with me? He thought. I have a wife! Addison! Why don't I think about her like that? Why is it only Meredith?


It was only an hour later, that he saw her again. Why did she always come into the room when he was supposed to be not thinking about her? He didn't look up as the elevator doors dinged and enclosed them into the steel box.

"Hi," Meredith said. Derek looked up at her to see a timid smile on lips. He had kissed those lips once.

"H-hey," Derek said a little clumsily.

"Are you okay?" Meredith asked him while coming closer. "You look awfully hot." Only a second after did she realize what she had said and blushed while putting a hand to her mouth to cover up the "oh" of surprise that had escaped it.

"I-I didn't mean it l-like that!" She exclaimed embarrassed, which made Derek a little more relaxed, now that she was frazzled instead of him. What she didn't know was that he always grew hot around her. He still had feelings for her and it scared him to think about the choice he would have to face if he wanted her back.

"I know, it's all right," he said with a grin.

Meredith didn't make eye contact for the rest of the ride down.


On his lunch break, Derek usually just grabbed a cup of coffee from the lounge and plowed right along with his work. But today, he decided to go down to the cafeteria and maybe pick up a sandwich, if anything.

Stepping off of the elevator, he accidentally bumped into a nurse, who shot daggers at him with her eyes, but politely said, "Excuse me." Derek just shook his head when she was out of sight and walked right into the cafeteria, his mind not on food.

Then out of the corner of his eye, he saw her, sitting at one of the round metal table in the patio area with Christina, George, and Izzy. She was laughing at something Christina and George were saying, while Izzy was discreetly looking over at Alex at the neighboring table nibbling on some of her sandwich.

Meredith seemed to sense him, since only after a moment she shot a look over her shoulder and locked eyes with him. His breath hitched and he began to grow extremely hot in his lab coat and scrubs. Meredith broke the eye contact first, and he looked back at the table and saw Christina looking over at him. Or was she glaring?

Forgetting about food altogether, Derek high tailed it out of there, while grasping his pager, to make it look like he had just gotten a call.


While getting out of a patient's room, Derek saw his wife at the end of the hallway and turned the other way while taking out his blackberry. He didn't feel like talking to her right now; he would rather be lost in his thoughts of Meredith.

"Derek!" Addison yelled from the end of the hallway, and Derek heard her sneakers bouncing on the floor, while she ran to catch up to him.

He turned around, albeit reluctantly. Plastering a fake, loving smile on his face, Derek said, "Hi."

Addison smiled when she caught up to him and began to talk about what they were going to do for dinner tonight, since they both had the night off.

When she asked for his opinion, Derek stated that he didn't care and then thankfully he got a call on his pager.

"Well, I'll see you later, then," Addison said while he walked away from her, and for once, Derek felt bad about not giving their relationship a hundred percent.


"What's going on?" Derek said while standing next to the Chief and Dr. Burke in front of the surgery scheduling board.

"It's slammed full, and not one of them is yours," the Chief said, but didn't look at Derek.

"So?" He inquired. "All my patients are just fine today."

"Then why are they in the hospital?" Dr. Burke asked Derek.

Derek was about to come back with something, when the Chief shot them both a look over his shoulder. "Not now," he said while his gaze returned to the board.

They just stared at it for a while, and then Burke got a call on his pager and left.

"Chief," Derek asked while stepping closer to him. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," he said snappishly and then stomped off, leaving Derek alone.


Having nothing to do, Derek entered on the sleeping quarters looking for an empty bed. He hadn't gotten a lot of sleep last night, or rather, this week. Something was bothering him, and he wasn't sure what it was.

Throwing himself onto the bottom bunk, Derek put his hands behind his head and let his thoughts flow.

It must have been about ten minutes later that he heard the creak of the door opening and the soft footsteps of what could only be a woman. Derek sat up and looked at the intruder; she took his breath away.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Meredith said while taking a step away from him. "I-I didn't realize that you were in here. I'm sorry."

"If you say that you're sorry one more time, I won't believe you," Derek said while kicking off his shoes. "Come on in, I was only trying to get away for a moment."

Cautiously Meredith stepped into the room. Derek patted the bed beside him, fully aware of what he was doing. Meredith stopped for a second, and then looking nonchalant sat down beside him, kicking off her own shoes. Everything was silent for a moment or two.

Trying to make chit chat, Meredith asked him how his day had been. He responded with a "fine" and asked her how hers had been. She replies with the same thing and there was a relapse of silence around them.

Derek twisted himself and faced Meredith. Looking into her eyes, he saw the pure emotion that he loved. She wanted him, and he knew it, but the question was, did he want her.

Hell yes, he thought and then put one of his hands on her cheek. Meredith looked at him funnily and then when Derek smiled, she melted.

It felt like it had been a millennia since their last kiss, and each other them drank each other in. Derek's hands gently grasped Meredith's face, while hers weaved themselves into his wavy hair. God it feels great to taste her again, smell her, feel her.

Derek gradually began to lay Meredith down onto the bed, while his hands traveled down her sides and landed on her hips. Meredith sighed as his tongue slipped into her mouth and Derek couldn't help but smile. So she still has a thing for me, huh? His hands hiked up her shit a little, and Meredith gasped as his cold hands hit the sensitive skin of her side. However, he silenced her with a kiss and then began moving his hand up her side while she wrapped her arms around his neck.

They were so close; he could feel the heat radiating off of her.

"Oh Derek," she moaned while his hand came up closer and closer. Liking the sound of his name on her lips, he slipped down and kissed her neck and then her collarbone, which made another moan slip past her lips. Nuzzling her neck, Derek let his hand slip back down to her waist. He wanted to build up the anticipation some more.

Suddenly, Meredith wrapped her leg around his and kissed him deeply, which shocked and pleased him. It felt good to have her wrapped around him so. She was scorching hot, and her kisses felt so full of love and passion, while all Derek felt was lustful.

Then as if being dumped into icy water, Derek sat up and bumped his head on the bottom of the top bunk's frame. Cursing aloud, Derek realized he was all alone and had a violent headache. Meredith was no where in sight and he slammed his head back down on the pillow and thought, It's only lust.