Just to let you know this is set sometime around series 1, because Arthur's still a prat.

"There's no pleasing you." Merlin said, exasperated.
"Just water the horses!" Arthur yelled back from the fire.
Once Merlin had fed and watered the horses, he flopped down by the fire with the cooking pot and ingredients, and started the boil some water over the fire.
"Where have you been?" Arthur demanded
"Watering the horses."
"Well you took too long"
"I had to get everything right or you'd send me back to do it again, like last night" Merlin shot back, his temper frayed from a long days riding.
"Speed up next time. I'm hungry."
"BU-"
"I'm hungry! Cook the stew or I'll throw you in the stocks!"
"FINE!" Merlin was highly tempted to turn Arthur into a toad or something else slimy and disgusting. For the next twenty minutes he added herbs, vegetables and dried meat to the stew, while Arthur moaned next to him about patrols. Merlin ladled the finished stew into two bowls and handed one to Arthur, then got comfy by the fire. Arthur took one tiny sip from his spoon and grimaced.
"It needs salt. Merlin add some salt" Arthur demanded. Merlin grumbled to himself about pratful princes while getting the salt from his pack. He added the smallest shake to Arthur's meal. Arthur took the bowl back and had another sip.
"Blech. More salt." Merlin added a little bit more.
"More" Merlin added a little bit more
"More" Merlin added a bit more. This time when Arthur tried it he pulled a disgusted face and threw the stew onto the fire. Which nearly put it out.
"I can't eat that!"
"Why!" demanded Merlin.
"It's too salty."
"WHAT! There's just no pleasing you!" Merlin yelled. Arthur's surly retort was cut off by a yelling from behind him. The pair whipped round to see bandits running, as always, with weapons held high screaming battle cries for no apparent reason, toward them.
"Stay out of the way Merlin!" Arthur yelled as the attackers closed in. Merlin backed out of the way and tripped over his pack, falling backwards and landing with his side in his stew bowl. The sticky contents splashed all down his side.
"Yuuuuck, this is my favourite jacket" Merlin moaned. Arthur meanwhile was having trouble with their four little bandit friends, but he managed to catch a glimpse of Merlin lying in the puddle of stew.
"Merlin don't just lay there! Help me!" Merlin quickly stood up and rushed to try and help but nearly got beheaded by a bandit's sword in the process.
"Stay out of the way Merlin! You're a liability!" Arthur yelled. Growling, Merlin tried to back away but crashed into a bandit. The man grabbed Merlin's arm to stop him escaping. Meanwhile Arthur had been disarmed and was being held at sword-point, he looked wildly at Merlin.
"DO SOMETHING!"
Merlin started to panic; his captor was shaking him as his friends laughed and Arthur yelled at him for being useless. The noises, laughter and voices swirled around his head as he got more and more confused. The noises swelled to a crescendo until...
"Ahhhh? Swef NU!" Merlin cried desperately. The man holding him and the three others surrounding Arthur dropped to the floor unconscious, and started snoring loudly. Arthur looked at Merlin angrily.
"MERLIN!"
"Uh, I-"
"What did you do that for! I had everything under control!"
"Wah?-"

"What am I meant to do with four sleeping bandits!"
Merlin looked at Arthur incredulously, stew running down his side and into his boot.
"There's just no pleasing you!"

OK done! I just sprouted that in an hour, and I have no idea where it came from! Xxx Happy me! Xx Review if you liked it, or if you didn't and you want to yell at me!

Tedrenia