Forever and Almost Always.

By

I Climb I Slip I Fall

Summary

What do you do when your reason for being, breathing, existing rejects you? And you suddenly find yourself alone without the family, the life and the destiny you chose?

These are questions no one ever wants to have to answer but unfortunately for Bella Swan she finds herself searching for those answers. When Edward decides to leave her Bella left is broken hearted and dead inside with no clear way back to the land of the living. So it's up to Jacob Black to try to piece together the tattered remains of his best friend.

But when she comes face to face with old enemies, new threats and the one thing she never thought she would experience – Motherhood, what can she do to ensure the survival of the people she loves?

Will the Cullens ever return to Forks? If so how will they react to the one Cullen they left behind and the Cullen they never even knew existed?

This story spans over fifty years beginning immediately after the Cullens leave Bella in New Moon. All couples from the Twilight Saga are the same.

All characters from the Twilight Saga belong to Stephenie Meyer and only her.The other characters and the plot belong to me.

Chapter One

... I catch my foot on a root of a nearby tree and stumble my way forward, walking faster than I ever thought possible but still I know that there is no way in hell I can ever catch up with him. I can see that the light is quickly disappearing as I slip and stumble my way through the dense forest, the branches of the trees nipping at my skin and tearing my clothes. I slip on the many layers of moist, dead leaves that litter the floor around me. Fighting back the tears that are spilling down my face I attempt to get back on my feet but my body won't listen to reason as I sink back down to the forest floor allowing the grief to envelop my body.

"Edward please, I love you, Edward ..." I sob into the darkening silence...

My eyes snap open and I'm met by the familiar gloominess of my bedroom, rain pelting the window.

"Bella, Bella what's wrong? Are you okay?" Charlie calls as my door bursts open, still half asleep, his service revolver in his hand.

"Nothing dad, I'm fine, it was just a bad dream. Relax." Charlie's eyes squinted at me through the darkness but even from my position on my bed I could tell he didn't believe a word I was saying. Crap, think Bella, you need to distract him or he'll just ask you about it or worse... him!

"Er, dad is that thing loaded?" I asked, eyeing the gun nervously.

"What? Oh, no. I just wanted ... stop trying to change the subject Bells. This is the eighth time you've woke up screaming in the past ten days! Has this got anything to do with the Cullens leaving town?"

I could see the concern, bright in his tired eyes as he crossed the room and sat down on the end of my bed turning on the light as he went. "No dad, it has absolutely nothing to do with..." I swallowed the tears that were threatening to spill over my bloodshot eyes. "... them." I can't even say their name, how pathetic am I?

"Well then what is it? You know that if you want you can talk to me Bells, I don't like seeing you so upset." Sincerity dripping from every word he used.

Oh fuck what am I going to say? Think Bella, come on think. "It's nothing dad. Must just be hormones, I've been getting cramps it must just be my period." Ha, bingo that done it! Charlie's cheeks flushed pink as his next sentence caught in his throat. What is it about a man that makes it impossible for them to hear about periods without losing the ability to speak!

"Oh, umm... ok. Well if that's all..." he let the end of his sentence trail off as he got up from my bed and half ran to the door. "Night, Bells."

I slumped back against my pillows, willing myself to go back to sleep but no matter how much I begged for a dreamless sleep I couldn't. My traitorous subconscious kept replaying my nightmare over and over again in my mind. I shook my head trying to chase away the terrifying images. The minutes inched by and before I knew it I had drifted off into an uneasy sleep. I woke up to a soft knock at my bedroom door.

"Bella, you awake?" Jake, what is he doing here? What time is it? I glanced over at the clock on my bedside table. Uhhh, 9:45 what the fuck was he doing here? Jake usually isn't up to after noon the morning after his to patrol. That is one of the plus sides of having a werewolf as a best friend.

"Yeah Jacob, I'm up, come on in."

The words had barely left my mouth but Jacob was already striding through my door in a beeline for my bed. He jumped and landed beside me, pulling me into a tight hug. His skin was so hot I kicked of my covers and lay in his arms in my grey short shorts and black tank top.

I looked up at him, a smirk spread across his handsome. I could tell that he was already thinking something he shouldn't be about his best friend. As he stared in my eyes he opened his mouth to voice his thoughts but I cut him off.

"So what brings you to my house so early on a Saturday?" I asked genuinely interested.

"No reason. Do I need a reason to visit my best friend now?" his tone contradicting his hurt expression.

"Jake."

"Ok, ok. Charlie came to see me earlier." I couldn't meet his eyes but he must have felt my body stiffen as he put a strong, hot finger underneath my chin and pulled my face up so I would look at him. "He's worried about you Bells. We all are. We're your family, we love you and we don't like seeing you in pain."

I dropped my eyes again, frustrated that I was causing my family such worry Charlie and Jake especially.

"So tell me about the nightmare?" Jake asked, his voice edged with concern and anger.

"It's the same nightmare every night, Jake. You know that. I'm walking through the woods searching for him and I trip." I couldn't finish, Jacob didn't need to know how my dream ended or why I wake up screaming after it.

"I could fucking kill that leech for leaving you out there. It's a good thing that we found you when we did who the fuck knows what could have happened." I could feel the tremors running through his body as he thought of Edward and how I was when the pack found me. I couldn't bring myself to look at him I just let him calm his breathing.

"It's not worth it Jake, I'll be fine. I have you guys." I tried my best to give him a small smile which he returned with a wide grin that didn't quite reach his eyes.

We sat in silence for a long time when I finally decided that I had to get up. I desperately needed a shower, my muscles ached and my head was groggy from my lack of sleep. I left Jake on my bed as I gathered up my clothes and headed to the bathroom. Thirty minutes later I walked out of the bathroom relaxed and dressed for the day.

I found Jacob asleep on my bed he looked so peaceful that I didn't have the heart to waken him. Instead I walked downstairs and looked at the clock in the kitchen. I was a little shocked when it showed that it was 12:30. I decided to make a start on lunch, making scrambled eggs and bacon for Jake and I. Before I knew it Jake was standing beside me with a smile on his face.

"Mmmm. I knew that the bacon smell wasn't just in my dream. Smells good Bella, I'm starved."

"Aww poor baby." I laughed as Jacob carried our plates over to the table and poured us both a tall glass of OJ.

We ate in a comfortable silence, being with Jake was easy even when we are fighting or when I was crying on his shoulder about the Cullens, it was effortless. It was times like that when I knew that no matter what happened we would always be best friends. We had been through too much together; we relied on each other too much to ever allow our friendship to break down.

"So what we doing today?" I asked as I brought our dishes to the sink and washing them in the hot, soapy water and handing them to Jake to dry. "Well I was thinking we could just hang around La Push today, maybe go to the beach later for a few drinks with the pack. If you want?"

I beamed up at him, "That sounds good Jay. Let's go."

We chatted about unimportant things as I drove us to La Push. As we pulled up outside Jake's house I could see that the rest of pack was already there waiting on us. I felt a genuine smile spread across my face. I really don't know what I would do if I didn't have these guys, they were my rock, my family, my best friends. They keep me sane.

I could feel Jacob stare at me as I shut off the engine. I knew that he knew the reason behind my sudden happiness. He grinned back at me "welcome home, sweetheart." I sighed; I loved it when he said that. I. Was. Home.

As the day went on I hung around with Jake and the others guys. Emily and Leah joined us a little while later. I'm really glad Leah and I could work out our differences. After Edward left, she really warmed up to me I don't know whether it was because I didn't hang out with vampires anymore or because she knew how bad it hurt to lose the love of your life. But whatever the reason I was grateful, she is a wonderful friend.

"Hey Em, hey Lee. How are you guys?" I asked as I got up to hug each of the girls.

"We're good Bells, just had to go grocery shopping" Emily said as she sat next to Sam. Kissing him sweetly when she was settled. They were perfect for each other.

"Yeah you know what these guys are like hun; they'd eat everything and anything." Leah joked, playfully smacking Seth's arm as she sat down next to me.

The night passed quickly and after watching Jacob beat Paul, Sam and Embry at a drinking contest, I felt a little sick so I wasn't drinking not that it would have made any difference, Jacob could easily drink me under the table blindfolded with both hands tied behind his back, I decided to call it a night. I was home and in my room before long and as I crawled underneath the covers I sighed, tonight was a good night. Being with the pack I was beginning to feel happy again and for the first time since the Cullens had left I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.