Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me.

Notes: This is different than what I've written so far in this fandom, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. *frowns* So your feedback would be greatly appreciated.

-

--

It starts, as most falls do, with noble intentions.

Merlin is Arthur's self-appointed protector, keeper of his destiny. He watches, with magic ready at his fingertips, as Arthur disregards all instincts of self-preservation and attracts danger to himself like moths to a golden flame. Merlin is strong enough to defeat that danger and not strong enough to stand by and do nothing. He finds, slowly, that it is easier to rest when he knows that threats to Arthur are gone. Forever.

-O-

It is chilling, how quickly it slides forward. It begins as deaths in battle, by hand and sword and the hidden whisper of magic, as Arthur cuts through foes like a tornado, sometimes missing the enemy at his back. Merlin takes care of it for him.

From there it is no large step to taking care of those who try to harm Arthur in the very quiet of the castle; a little more difficult to explain away, but if Merlin's lying is abysmal, he learns how to direct questions and attention away from him when he wants. And then he justifies, to himself, that if he has knowledge of plots against Arthur, surely he should act on that knowledge before it happens. He is unheard, unseen, but a shadow in the night, leaving quiet death in his wake.

Their empty faces, blank-eyed and still, revolve in his dreams, until the day they don't. They stop haunting his dreams, and he finds that it gets both easier and harder from then on.

-O-

He and Morgana become partners, of a sort. She comes to him with the terrors that shake her nights, and he—acts. "He's the one," Morgana whispers with a trembling voice, nodding toward the man who came new to their court. "He's going to kill Arthur." Kanen looks charming, vibrant. Friendly. Morgana is never wrong.

The next morning, Kanen is found lying still in his bed, face almost peaceful. It is determined that his heart stopped in the middle of the night, and that he must have had a pre-existing heart condition. Everything returns to normal.

When Morgana meets Merlin's eyes, there is recognition there, but curiously no fear. I know what you did, those eyes say, and Merlin does not look away. Morgana tilts her chin up, then nods. For Arthur, then.

-O-

Arthur, as king, is both feared and loved—feared by those who do wrong, loved by those who love justice. Merlin becomes court magician and finds he is feared and respected, and the respect is closer to fear than anything else. Whispers travel the land, of the sorcerer who watches over the king and protects him with eyes like death. Merlin hears them and could put a stop to them if he so wished (there isn't much he can't do anymore). But he thinks his reputation might help protect Arthur, as he stays up nights thinking up ways to do so.

Arthur hears them too, and sometimes he looks at Merlin like he knows what happens to each and every would-be assassin that comes Arthur's way. But he never says anything, because that is how they are—they keep from saying anything of true importance to each other.

The things I would do for you, Merlin thinks while watching Arthur sleep in the moonlit night. It scares him that he is no longer scared by the lengths to which he will go. He falls asleep to the sound of Arthur's breathing and dreams of blood and golden fire.

-O-

For the love of his king, for the love of Arthur, only ever Arthur, Merlin lets himself descend into a darkness he can't see himself climbing out of.

--

-