A/N: This is my first slash story, keep that in mind when you read it. I was COMPLETELY inspired by primavera15's Damon/Jeremy story. So, I decided to finally write a Tyler/Jeremy story. Hope you enjoy it!
-Anneryn


I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE DIARIES OR THE CHARACTERS.

Music Credit: "Evil Angel" – Breaking Benjamin, "Just Like You" – Three Days Grace, "Home" – Three Days Grace, "I Hate Everything About You" – Three Days Grace, "Bitter Taste" – Three Days Grace


Chapter One:


Tyler's POV

I watched him from afar. I love the way his eyes see right through me. He has no idea of the effect he has over me. He has no idea that this is the reason that I hate him so much. I am not some fag. Vicki was just an excuse for my hatred. Now that she's gone, I have no reason to hate him. No reason except for my stubborn refusal to move past my necessary denial.

There is no fucking way that I would ever admit that I, Tyler Lockwood, am pining for Jeremy Gilbert. There is no logical reason for me to be drawn to him. He's just another fucked up teenager. …He's like me.

For awhile he was like a lost puppy. He lost himself in a haze of drugs… and Vicki. That was right after his parents died. He still had that air of innocence about him. It's something I've grown to crave - that pure innocence. It's something I need to see, after having to look at myself in the mirror.

Honestly, I don't like who I am. I can't stand the person I see reflecting back at me. I'm a whore. There really isn't any other word for it. I crave it - sex. I need it. It keeps me going. Sometimes, it's the only thing I can actually feel. I hate feeling numb.

My bruises never seem to fade. Truthfully, part of me feels like I deserve this. I don't have a reason for him not to hit me. Have I given him a reason to believe that I'm a worthy son? I never treat anyone like they aren't shit. Maybe a few exceptions… I didn't use to be this way.

Three years ago, I got suspended from school. I got into a fight because some older kid said that my father liked to fuck around. He said that my mother was an alcohol prude so my father looked for pussy elsewhere. I couldn't control myself. As soon as the words left his mouth, I hit him. The rage I felt was unreal.

That night my dad demanded to know how I could justify getting into a fight. How would it look? He was trying to become elected mayor for the first time. And his son was the poster child for delinquent behavior. I refused to tell him. He backhanded me. I fell to the ground. I clutched my face in surprise. He yanked me up by my hair. I cried out in pain. He kneed me in my gut.

"Lockwoods never show pain!" He spat. I clenched my mouth shut.

"You're nothing but a goddamned disappointment. I've never seen a sorrier excuse for a child." He snarled. I didn't say anything. "If you don't tell me, you're going to wish you were never born." He growled.

I cracked. I told him everything. I've never seen him stand so still or quiet. After I finished talking he punched me in the stomach and threw me to the floor.

"I never want to hear you say those things about me or your mother! Am I clear?" He screamed. I nodded. He kicked me. "I said, 'Am I clear?'" He repeated, dangerously low.

"Yes," I told him. He gave me a sickly, twisted smile. He grabbed my hand and helped me up. He caressed the side of my face with his hand. His grip on my back kept me from flinching under his touch or pulling away.

"That being said, I am so proud of you. You defended me and your mother. What more could a father ask for?" He said. I looked at him, dumbstruck. Was he fucking high?

"Oh, but next time, if you need to hit him, don't get caught. You proved you were a man tonight." He beamed. I didn't say anything. Before, I knew that everything that kid said was true. My father has cheated on my mother more times and with more women than I could count. And my mother was an alcoholic. She can't go a day without drowning herself with bourbon.

"Go clean yourself up. I'm taking you out." He told me, proudly.

"Wh-what?" I asked. He smiled at my confusion.

"After what you did today, don't you think that you deserve a special something? I'm taking you to get your first lap dance." He said. I didn't move or say anything. Eventually, I did what he said. I was afraid that if I didn't, he would do something worse to me.

That night, I got my first lap dance from some brunette with a hot body. It was more than just my first lap dance. She turned out to be better at a lot of things than she let on. I got my first blowjob and hand job from her, too. I met with her four times after that. All we did was have sex. Each time was after my father would snap and hit me. All of those times were within a two month span. Then, he finally got elected mayor.

Things got better… for awhile. Every once and awhile, something would happen. Though, I was rarely the one who caused his anger. I was the one who benefited from it. Lately, it's been happening more and more. I stay at Matt's when I can. But, it's hard without him getting suspicious. Luckily, his new found favorite is purely verbal.

Ever since that night at the strip club, sex has been my only release. I'm really not sure when it happened… or when women stopped looking attractive to me. They all started to blur together. I couldn't tell their faces apart. Vicki… she was different. I knew that she was lonely and she used drugs to deal with her pain. She showed interest in me… I felt drawn to her.

Somewhere along the line, even that changed. She was merely a fuck buddy. I could never see her as more. I needed something different. I craved something different. When I first saw Jeremy, he was Elena's kid brother. Granted, he's only a year younger than me… he's always been a kid. But when I started hanging out with Vicki, I started taking notice in Jeremy…. More than I liked…

He was always on my mind. I tried getting high with Vicki. I went through my day in a haze. One thing kept coming back to me - Jeremy. I thought about him, constantly. I kept seeing flashes of him, as I had sex with Vicki. I knew then, that I could never go back. I could never go back to wanting women. Not just because I was attracted to Jeremy, or I wanted him. But because, I knew that feeling something that powerful couldn't be just a onetime thing.

The thing that kills me is - he has no idea. He doesn't even know. If he did, I doubt anything would change. It would be just another thing that I would taint and fuck up. Even if I was willing… why would he want me? I don't understand how anyone could want me. I can't even stand myself. Women have always been so easy to get.

My phone rang, pulling me from my tortured thoughts. I flinched and grabbed it off of my bedside table.

'Hold it together, birds of a feather, nothing but lies and crooked wings.
I have the answer.
Spreading the cancer...
You are the faith inside me.

No, don't leave me to die here.
Help me survive here.
Alone...'

I answered it. "Yeah," I said, harshly into the phone.

"You're going to be late if you don't get up for school, son." My father barked. I can hear moaning in the background. He must be with one of his whores.

"I'm getting up." I told him. He chuckled and said something that wasn't directed towards me.

"Good, have a good day at school son." He said. He laughed and hung up. He's always keeping up his appearances. Always the doting, concerned father. …No one would believe the truth. I put my phone back on the table and got up. I dropped my pants and got into the shower. I flinched as the water hit my bruises.

I stayed in the shower longer than I should have. By the time I got out, it was ten minutes passed the time I was supposed to be in first period. I dried off and threw some clothes on. I put on some deodorant on as I walked out the door. My school stuff was already in my car. I got into the car and sped to school. I got there without any problems. I ran into no other than Jeremy Gilbert on my way into school.

He started to fall backwards. I reached my arms out and steadied him, instinctively. He looked at me in surprise. His eyes didn't have their normal tint of resentment in them, though… he's never been as horrible as I have been to him. I let him go, reluctantly. I wish I could explain what I feel towards him. I just… can't.

He stood there and looked at me. He didn't say anything. He looks like he wants to say something.

"Thanks," he said, finally. I nodded. I moved around him and started walking away from him. His hand caught my arm, gently.

"Tyler," he said. I turned around and faced him. He let his arm drop to his side. "I'm sorry." He said. I scrunched up my eyebrows.

"What? Why?" I asked him, confused.

"Everything that happened with Vicki," he answered. I nodded slowly.

"Okay," I told him. He looked like he was trying to put his thoughts into words.

"Everything I said to you… I never meant it. I just… it killed me that she was leaving me, for you. She was always going back to you. I already lost so much… I couldn't stand losing her, too." He said, quietly. I looked at him. I actually looked at him. He looks like he's suppressing so much pain. He looks like he would be the one person to understand what I go through.

"I didn't…" I started. He cut me off.

"You wouldn't have known. I doubt I deserved her in the first place…. She ended up leaving anyway. I just… I wanted to say that everything that happened," he told me. He gestured to both of us. "Between us, then… it doesn't matter. I'm not holding anything against you." He finished. Why would he forgive me? I was a complete dick to him. It doesn't make any kind of sense.

"Why would you forgive what I did to you, Gilbert?" I asked him, gruffly. He looked at me for a second.

"Because, we aren't that much different… …and I'm tired of being alone. …We both lost her and I can't think of a sane reason not to." He told me, grudgingly, truthfully.

"You want us to be friends?" I asked him, slowly, to clarify. He nodded.

"I don't think I can do this alone anymore." He told me. Why is he being so honest with me? I have not done a fucking thing to merit his trust.

"When it comes down to it… everyone's alone." I told him. He looked at me.

"Not everyone," he argued.

"Why me?" I asked him. He looked at me carefully.

"I don't know. I can't explain it. I just thought… you would understand." He finally said. I nodded.

"Okay," I said simply. He nodded and turned to leave. "Gilbert," I called after him. He turned, startled.

"Lockwood," he replied, evenly.

"Jeremy," I corrected myself. His lips gave a slight smirk.

"Tyler," he answered.

"Thank you." I told him. He nodded.

"You know, I wasn't sure if you would even listen." He said, quietly. I looked at him. I don't understand how someone I have not even had a civil conversation with, excluding the past five minutes, with, could know me so well. If it had been anyone else… except for maybe Matt… I wouldn't have. I would have blown them off and told them were to shove it.

"If it was anyone else, I wouldn't have." I told him. I walked away and left him standing there. I saw the confused look on his face out of the corner of my eye. I'm not sure why I actually said that to him. It's more than I should have said. …I'll just deny it later. I sighed. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm making things worse. I can't say stuff like that when everything is already fucked up enough as it is.

I shook my head. My despair turned into desperation which turned into a need for sex. I need it, now. I felt my jeans tighten and my crotch twitch. To hell with school. I opened my cell phone and called myself in. I said that I had a doctor's appointment and that I would be at school after lunch. That should be more than enough time.

I called Mia. She gave me her number the other night at the Grill. She's known for being up for a good time, whenever. I left school and drove to the Grill. She got into her car and I followed her to her house. I made small talk as she unlocked her front door. She's a sophomore in college, at least she was. I don't know if she is still going. And I really don't care.

She dropped her keys as she pushed the door open. She bent over to get them. Her skirt is already short, but when she bent over, it might as well had been nonexistent. I grew harder looking at her bent over. I shifted, uncomfortably. She stood up, with her keys in hand. She beckoned me inside. She shut, and locked the door behind me.

"I have a roommate, but she'll be at work until tonight." She told me. I nodded. She must have seen the lust in my eyes, because she took off her shirt and threw it to the floor. I shrugged off my jacket and picked her up. She wrapped her legs around my waist. She murmured directions to her room, against my lips. I kissed her hungrily, and harshly.

She responded, vigorously. She ground herself against me. I groaned. When we got to her room and pushed the door open, not bothering to shut it behind us. We fell onto the bed. I was on top of her. I bit her neck, gently. She moaned. She switched our positions. Her long, brown hair acted as a curtain and fell over her breasts. I reached behind her and gathered her hair in my hand. I pulled, gently. She gasped and moaned.

She unbuckled my belt and unbuttoned my pants. I switched our positions and I pushed my pants down, just enough. I reached inside of her skirt and yanked her thong off. I reached into my back pocket and grabbed a condom. She kissed my neck as I put it on. I pushed her back onto the bed. She moved against me, making me harder.

I kissed her, roughly. I pushed my tongue into her mouth. She moaned and used her tongue to wrestle with mine. I thrust into her. She gasped into my mouth. And, I wasn't gentle with her. …I was never gentle. To my surprise, she wasn't either. I thrust in and out of her, harder each time.

She screamed my name. It was music to my ears. It was something I needed to hear. Soon, it was over. I just needed something quick. She laid her head on my chest. I moved away and got off of the bed. I pulled the condom off and went into her bathroom, and flushed it. Call me paranoid, but if word got out that the 'mayor's son' was basically a 'man whore,' I would hear no end of it. I really don't feel like dealing with the wrath of Daddy Dearest right now.

I buttoned my pants and fixed my belt. I straightened my shirt. I ran my fingers through my hair and checked my face for traces of makeup. I went back to the front door. I grabbed my jacket and put it on. She followed me into her living room. She was putting her shirt back on.

"Thanks, you were amazing." She said. I nodded. "Let's do it again, sometime." She offered. I nodded, again.

"Yeah," I told her. With that, I left. I drove back to school. I had an hour to spare. I went into the art room and started drawing. I started making pictures for a graphic novel. Well, that isn't how it started. They are series of images of an intimidating two-faced man. I wonder where I got my inspiration for this. It's about the victim, a brooding, masked, hooded figure. Eventually, the figure is going to overcome the two-faced man.

I'm stuck on the overcoming part. I pulled my iPod out of my bag, and turned the music on. I put my earphones into my ears.

'I could be mean.
I could be angry.
You know I could be just like you.

I could be fake.
I could be stupid.
You know I could be just like you.'

I was consumed in my drawing. I didn't notice anyone come into the art room. I turned my music up louder. The songs changed, but the anger stayed constant.

'I'll be coming home, just to be alone.
'Cause I know you're not there and I know that you don't care.

I can hardly wait to leave this place.
No matter how hard I try…
You're never satisfied.
This is not a home.
I think I'm better off alone.'

I drew the bruises hidden by the clothes of the masked man. I drew the scars and permanently scarred face underneath the mask.

'I hate everything about you.
Why do I love you?
I hate everything about you.
Why do I love you?'

Someone touched my shoulder. I dropped my pencil. I pulled my earphones out of my ears. The person, who touched me, sat next to me and looked at me. It's Jeremy. We looked at each other in silence. I can still hear my music, vaguely.

'Just let me say one thing - I've had enough.
You're selfish and sorry.
You'll never learn how to love.'

"Tyler," he whispered. I didn't say anything. I just looked at him. "Earlier, what did you mean?" He asked. I didn't say anything. He moved closer to me. I didn't move. What am I supposed to do? He moved hesitantly. He touched the side of my face. He looked surprised at something. His fingers stroked the side of my face.

"What happened to you?" He asked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him.

"You have a bruise." He answered. He pressed down harder, and applied more pressure, as if trying to show me where I was hurt. I winced. I forgot I have a bruise there. There isn't a lot of it visible. Dad went postal when I said something sarcastic about his mistress. In my defense, I was drunk. I just couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"Nothing," I answered him, shrugging. I played it off.

He moved closer to me, still. And, still, I didn't do anything. He looked at me, in the eyes, with fascination. He did something that I never thought he would actually do… something that I picture when I don't force myself to picture something else.

He kissed me. He brought his lips to mine, tentatively. He pulled away, and looked at my reaction. I didn't do anything. He must have decided that this was a good sign. He kissed me again, this time with more force. He caught my bottom lips between his, and sucked gently. I pulled away from him. The shock of what had just happened finally caught up with me. He looked shocked. I don't think he realizes what he just did.

"Tyler," he breathed my name. I lost it. I lost all control that I had, right then and there. I put my hand behind his head and brought it to mine, roughly. I crushed his lips against mine. He opened his mouth before I could demand entrance. I moved my tongue inside of his hot, awaiting mouth. He moved his tongue against mine.

Somehow, both of our chairs moved. Mine moved back, his moved away, and he was leaning over me. I pulled him closer to me. He semi-straddled me legs. I grabbed his ass, and pulled him the rest of the way down. He moved his face from mine, and attacked my neck. I growled with satisfaction. He moved, to get my neck at a better angle.

It didn't help that his erection was now rubbing against mine. He kept moving as he worked on my neck. I hissed. Unable to stop myself, I pushed myself against him. I heard him gasp against my skin. I closed my eyes and moaned. He kept rocking his hips against mine.

The bell rang and I heard lockers open outside of the art room. I pulled away from him. He got up and stared at me. What have we done? What did I just start? I got up and ran my hands through my hair. I packed my drawing things into my bag.

"Tyler, we need…" Jeremy started to say. I cut him off with a look.

"Not now, Jeremy. We… call me… tonight. We'll… We'll talk then." I told him. He nodded. For the second time today, I left him staring after me, confused.


Author's Note: This is my first slash story. Hopefully, it turned out alright. I just ADORE Jeremy and Tyler together. Review, you KNOW you wanna!
-Anneryn