She mentioned it as an afterthought, as if she were saying, 'Oh, today is Tuesday.' Maybe it really was just an afterthought to her, but it wasn't to him. "Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday, Fae?"
"It's not a big deal," she said, leaning back in the vain hope that she could entice him back to bed, to sleep or to be intimate again. From the look on his face, she knew he was not just going to let it pass. "It's really not important, Fiyero. I mean it."
"And how is a birthday not a big deal?"
She shrugged. "My birthday never was a big deal. Besides, I just turned twenty-three. I thought birthdays stopped counting when you were a child. After that they're just a reminder that you're another year older, another year closer to death."
He dropped back onto the pillow in exasperation. "Do you not get excited about anything?"
"You have three children all under the age of six. I'm sorry I can't quite match their level of excitement about a random day in the middle of fall." She smiled at him. "Does it make you feel better to know that this was definitely one of my better birthdays?"
She nudged him backward so she could lean against his chest. As he wrapped one arm around her waist he nodded. "I guess. But why?"
She didn't speak for a moment and for a second he thought she must have been more tired than he had perceived and had fallen asleep. Then he could hear her say, softly, "You really don't know all that you are to me, do you?"
"You mean your lover?" he asked, liking the way the corners of her mouth began to turn up at the word.
She shifted so she was more on top of him than beside him. "Yes, but it's more than that." She turned her head away, not able to look him in the eye as she said, "You aren't with me because you have to be. You don't love me because you are obligated to. You're here because you want to be here with me. This is the first birthday I've had where I've really felt like I was loved. That's the best gift you could have gotten me."
"Never felt love? he echoed, not letting her drop it although he knew she was already wishing she had not let herself have such a sensitive moment.
"My mother and father were kind enough to me, kept a good eye on me. Nessie and Shell respected me and resented me as their older sister, which I think is normal. After Mama died Nanny made sure I had atleast a little bit of female guidance. Glinda..."
"Yes?" he prompted, but from the look on her face he felt like he was on the verge of butting in on something private.
She smiled wistfully. "And Glinda was a good friend when she stopped trying to be anyone but herself. She loved me as best she could, but she never knew it was my birthday, and she was never completely. It wasn't any fault in our friendship and it wasn't her fault. It's hard to be truly genuine about anything when you have been taught your entire life to be something else."
He didn't know what to say to that, so he was quiet, letting his hand play in her hair. When he knew he was about to fall asleep he said, "Happy birthday, Elphaba."
She didn't say anything in response, but curled up against him tighter, happily.
