Just a short drabble on Mystery Spot. I couldnt help but notice how sad Dean's eyes looked when he was shot. Please R+R, thanks.
Sam can still see the look in Dean's eyes, as Dean slowly died in his arms. Sam sees them in his nightmares, so similar to the ones he had after Jess died. He knows that it was real, and that it all really happened, all those times Dean died, but tries to tell himself it's nothing but a bad dream. It's been months since then, they've moved on, hunted new things, left that god forsaken town behind. It's been even longer since that first time Dean died, over 100 days on top of the three months Sam lived without him. But still, Dean's eyes haunt him. The look of shock and sadness in them, the way they pleaded with him.
It's easy to block them out when Dean's right there with him, because all he has to do is look over and there he is, alive and well, and then he can tell himself it's just a dream. It's hard to block them out at when he's alone, usually at night when Dean is out hustling pool or trying to hook up with some chick. It's then that Sam goes into almost a panic, there's no Dean there to reassure him that it's not real, that it didn't happen.
Sam doesn't let Dean see his anguish, he knows that it'll only tack on more guilt to the fact that the deal is coming up due in a few months. Sam suffers the pain by himself and wonders what he'll do when Dean is gone for good. He wonders if the eyes will go away, only to be replaced by a different image from his brother's actual death or if he'll be plagued by both. Truth be told, he doesn't want to know the answer.
So for now, he sits and waits and pleads with the mental image to just go away. For now he enjoys the time he has left with his brother because he knows it won't last and soon he'll be alone again.
