Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII. If I did, it would be called Final Fantasy XXX and contain mass nudity.
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Cid and Vincent are roommates. Best Friends. But neither could anticipate what would happen.
Warnings: AU, Oneshot, OOC, Crack, Human Vincent, Cid Swearing, Shounen-Ai, and a bunch of other stuff I'll add later.
~~~ = Scene change.
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"Fuck!" Cid swore, sucking his finger.
Sitting on the living room couch, Vincent grinned and replied quietly, but loud enough for Cid to hear, "Fuck Whom?"
"Shit!" Cid swore again as he bit his finger with a blush at the comment. He pulled his finger out to inspect the damage, glad that the dark haired man wasn't in the same room.
Why all this fuss? Because Cid has a crush on the dark haired pretty boy.(Hehe, pretty boy) Has for years now.
What's the problem, you say? Just the small, silly little fact that Vincent is straight.
Oh well. I guess this story will be about Cid and Aeris having little swearing children. And while we're at it, I guess Vincent can get a mysterious STD. Hurrah.
Far away, deep in the Nibelheim mountains, A mischievous blond pixie was watching Vincent and Cid through his magic mirror(Pfft.).
Now, this particular blond pixie was very special and important...
For he knows the entire plot. Indeed, he is hovering over the writers shoulder as we speak.
"Authoress! You have guts, thinking I will allow such pairings. And Vincent! Getting a STD? There is no way in Hell I will allow this!" He balled up his fists and glared at the authoress with a evil glint in his eye. He looked from side-to-side, checking to see if anyone was watching. Satisfied they were alone, he pulled a metal pipe from his back pocket and bashed the authoress over the head with it.
"Mwahaha. Now I control the story!!" He laughed evilly and flexed his fingers, ready to type.
He thought deeply for a moment, before speaking to no-one in particular "Lets see... Hows this..."
The sound of his laughter and the blood dripping from the authoress onto the floor echoed in the stone cave.
Satisfied that there was no real damage to his finger, Cid sighed and returned to cooking his dinner.
Bang.
He looked up for a moment, to see what had caused the sound, but saw nothing.
He shrugged, and returned to the cooking.
Fart.
He looked up again, wrinkling his noise. "Fuck that smells..."
He turned back to his cooking, again.
Back in the Nibelheim mountains, the blond pixie giggled uncontrollably and promptly fell out of his chair.
"Haha! This is so fun! What should I make them do next?"
He snickered and jumped back on his chair, not noticing the man with glinting green eyes walk out of the cave.
3 days later (Saturday)
"I'm going to work now, Vinnie." Cid shouted out as he walked out of their apartment and made his way towards the elevator.
Inside, Vincent simply turned on the television and watched the Advent Children movie(Haha).
Cid pressed the button and waited impatiently for the elevator.
"Fucking thing... So bloody slow..." He kicked it angrily and glared at it.
Eventually, the elevator opened to reveal a man with long silver hair. Noticing that Cid was glaring in his general direction, he promptly glared back, sending shivers down Cid's spine.
After a few moments passed the elevator doors slid shut and it continued on its way down to the bottom floor.
"Aw, fuck. I missed it." So he pressed the button and waited for the elevator to come back.
Nibelheim Mountains
"Heehee. Now that the blond man has went to work, I shall convert the dark haired pretty boy to our team!"
The blond pixie giggled and poofed to the real world, still blissfully unaware of the glinting mako eyes.
Poof.
Vincent blinked as a puff of smoke appeared out of no-where. Because dammit he was missing the part where Cloud smiled.
Waving his hand to clear the smoke and reaching for the remote to rewind the film, he froze when he spotted the floating pixie in front of him.
Meanwhile, the credits rolled.
nemurenu yoru o ikutsu kazoetara ore-tachi tadoritsuku darou
Vincent stared. The pixie stared. The credits continued playing.
doredake no inochi nakushita toki arasoi wa owaru no darou
Finally Vincent broke the silence. "Am I sleeping?"
rekishi no ue wa korogaru dake no sukuenai doukeshi-tachi
The pixie giggled. "Oh yes you are. I am just your inner pixie!"
itsuka dareka ga itteta youni kotae wa kaze no naka
Vincent nodded dumbly. "I figured as much. So what do you want?"
somuketa kao o ikutsu utaretara kizukanu huriyamero no ka
The pixie giggled again.
dorehodo no kurushimi ni taetara egao wa ziyuu ni naru no ka
He grew impatient. "Well?
sabita kusari ni tsunagareta ma made mata shippo o maku no nara
The pixie just giggled some more and continued floating.
itsuka dareka ga itteta youni kotae wa kaze no naka
The silence grew thicker.
hurishiboro koe to nigirishimeru sono te de
Vincent glared and flicked the pixie across the room into a wall.
unmei wa kitto kawaru toki o matte iru
"That's what you get for ignoring me! Now where's that remote...?"
chippoke na ai no sasayaka na chikara de
He started looking for the missing remote before he spotted it in the pixies hand."
kanashimi wa itsumo dakareru no o matte iru
"Don't be so mean to your inner pixie! Cause I control your life~" He giggled again.
uso no pazuru o narabekaeteru aware na petenshi-tachi
Vincent stood up, walked across the room and grabbed both pixie and remote.
bukiyou sa o kiyou ni hurumau oroka na romantisuto-tachi
"Ah! Let me go you idiot! I mean it! Let me go!"
rekishi ga nanimo kataranaku naru sonna hi ga kuru yokan ni
But Vincent ignored him and walked to the window.
itsuka dareka ga itteta youni kotae wa kaze no naka
"You are going out this window." he said and smirked sadistically.
hurishiboro koe to nigirishimeru sono te de
"Nooooooooooooo! I'll do anything!" the pixie shrieked and tried to pull away.
unmei wa kitto kawaru toki o matte iru
"Tell me why you're here" Vincent mutter and held the pixie out the window.
chippoke na ai no sasayaka na chikara de
"To tell you that you are gay! Gay for your best friend Cid!"
kanashimi wa itsumo dakareru no o matte iru
Vincent let go of both pixie and remote in shock. The credits finished.
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A/N: Lyrics are not mine. They are from the song called 'Calling' which I do not own.
Lyrics provided by Animelyrics at the following page(Just replace '(dot)' with '.' and '(forwardslash)' with '/':
www(dot)animelyrics(dot)com(forwardslash)anime(forwardslash)adventchildren(forwardslash)ff7calling(dot)htm
Sorry for the cliff hanger... I hope you enjoyed! Please read and review.
