old crackfic. being reposted because I LIKE IT.
She's the princess and you're… well, you're not, obviously. Maybe it has something to do with your gender, but who knows, really. And she's already got her prince, but that's okay because you figure sleeping on the couch in her basement isn't so bad, and you might be able to hide down there a good… two more weeks? It's worth it to hear her talking to Cloud on the phone and making up these transparent excuses all the time. You laugh at her from across the room and she waves her hand all frantic-like, telling you to shut the hell up, because he might have bugged the house… or, or maybe he has spies.
..Mhm.
..Actually… you know he'd beat your ass if he ever found out you were fucking his girl. Hell, he might already suspect something (which wouldn't really surprise you) seeing as he popped in around noon last Saturday and you'd had to hide under the bed and Aerith had had to pretend she was just getting out of the shower and you'd giggled into your hand because 'she wasn't even wet!' ..She'd hit you for that after Cloud left.
At first it had been like an adventure. You had to hide all the time and check to see if the coast was clear and all that fun stuff. But after a while you got tired of it and said, "Why don't you just break up?"
"Because I love him. He's like a brother to me."
"..So it's like incest?"
"AGH! No, sicko."
"..Just thought I'd throw that out there."
..And then she'd hit you again.
It's actually kind of cute how she tries to hurt you, when all she's really doing is, like, tapping your shoulder. She's kind of a cute girl. Well, she's about six inches taller and three years older than you, but cute.
Riku, you better make that three weeks.
