Twilight parody

Once upon a time there was a girl called Bella, she lived in a not so ordinary world. One day when Bella went to school she saw a guy who she thought was very attractive, she noticed that he was staring…. And staring…. And staring. Bella decided it would be a good idea to talk to him so she walked over to the mysterious staring guy. "Hi I'm Bella" said Bella; the mysterious staring guy didn't respond he only continued staring at Bella. "Is everything okay" said Bella

"My name is Edward; I'm a 100 year old vampire and I'm in love with you even though I only just met you…. Want to make out?" responded the mysterious staring guy

"A vampire? That's hot" said Bella as she leaned in to kiss Edward

Before Bella and Edwards lips reached, Edward bit into Bella's neck

"Hey, what was that for!" exclaimed Bella

"I did that to so people wouldn't have to sit through 5 movies of emotionless acting delivery where you and I date on and off for 3 movies. In that time you meet a guy called Jacob who tries to date you even while we are dating, making him look like a total asshole. Then after more emotionless delivery we will get married and I will nearly kill you during sex. You will then become pregnant with a human vampire mutation that almost kills you… and after that you and all our vampire friends will battle the vampire leader people in an awesome but completely fake and meaningless not battle…. And then…. The most despicable thing off all time will happen…. Jacob will want to date our daughter…. I mean come on… even though she ages really fast, you have to admit…. It's completely sick. At least now that you are a vampire the audience can watch a movie of awesome fight sequences that are more emotionally impactful than your acting delivery"

"wow Edward, I can't thank you enough, you really know how to tell the truth' said Bella finally starting to smile

"Hey, don't mention it" said Edward as he walked away

Class was about to start so Bella left the room and continued onto where her first class was, only to be stopped on the walkway by another guy staring at her.

"Hey, your name is Bella right?" said the guy on the walkway

Bella nodded in response

"Well my name is Jacob, you may have heard of me before but I was wondering if you would like to go on a date sometime"

Bella's expression changed to confusion and she waited a few seconds before responding

"I don't know, I will have to think about it, it's just that I can't really decide between you or Edward so I think I will just date both of you" said Bella

"Oh ok, that sounds cool, I mean even though you would already be dating Edward that's not a big deal" said Jacob like an inconsiderate asshole

Bella and Jacob lean in and begin kissing when suddenly Edward rushes in yelling

"What the hell Bella, I thought we were in love and now you're making out with Jacob even after I just warned you!" Screamed Edward as he ran off crying like a little girl

Bella didn't seem to mind what she was doing though and returned to making out with Jacob who took off his shirt and never put it on again.

The End