Baby Talk

A/N: Just a short, silly story without real plot. Wrote it as a distraction, but I decided why not just post it? Hope you enjoy anyway.

Set sometime in season 6, I guess.


Niles enjoyed the silence of Frasier's apartment. Martin was out with Eddie and would not return soon; at least he'd said so. Well, he hadn't explicitly said the words, but Niles figured he was either meeting a woman or going to Duke's. Either way, he didn't care. Frasier wasn't home either. Originally, Niles had come here to talk to his brother. "Anything important?" Daphne had asked after she'd let him in. But there wasn't anything important Niles needed to talk about. Daphne told him that Frasier would most likely return soon and so he decided to wait for his brother.

That's how Niles found himself on Frasier's couch, in his living room enjoying the quiet. Expect for Daphne of course. She was in the kitchen, most likely oblivious to his presence by then. She was humming some song Niles could have sworn he knew, but she was so out of tune that it could have been anything. Somehow it felt right; just him and Daphne, just the two of them alone. Niles had made peace with the fact that he would always carry a torch for Daphne. As long as he could have moments like these, he didn't need anything to change...

The air of perfection, if it ever materializes at all, never last too long. Niles was busy with a new book Frasier must have bought, while his subconscious was occupied with listening to Daphne's humming and rummaging through the kitchen. Suddenly it all changed. A cracking, a wail and all of a sudden Niles was faced with a hectic Roz and a fussy Alice in her arms.

"Roz, is everything alright?" Daphne emerged from the kitchen holding a kitchen towel so that she looked almost like a caricature of a 1950s housewife. Niles diverted his eyes away from her and back to Roz.

"You have to help me!" She panted furiously and handed Alice over to Niles, who held her away from him like a bag full of hazard.

"What happened?"

"Tickets for Bruce Springsteen! Listen, I really got to hurry. I'll be back in about an hour, well, probably two. Three, tops. Alice is really tired, just put her down. I can't take her with me – what kind of mother would that make me? Don't tell Frasier anything! And thanks!" she dropped Alice's diaper bag and just as quickly as she had entered, she was gone again. Had she not left Alice with them, Niles wouldn't have been sure she'd been there at all.

"Did she really just leave her baby to get concert tickets?" Niles asked, looking at the poor child who had a finger in her mouth staring at him curiously.

"Looks like it," Daphne replied, coming closer. "I think you should put her down, like Roz said – I'll be right with you. Maybe she won't even notice." She whispered the last bit so little Alice wouldn't hear. But Niles noticed. Daphne's breath so close to his ear made him shiver all over. When Daphne wandered off into the kitchen again, Niles carried the bundle into Frasier's bedroom and put her down. Unfortunately, he hadn't been around Freddy often enough when he was a baby. He had little experience when it came to such tiny human beings. Now he wished that his father was home, or Frasier would finally get there. They knew what to do after all. He decided to let Daphne take care of Alice, figuring she had more experience. Just as he was about to leave, Alice got fussy and started crying. Niles stopped dead in his tracks; the little teary eyes were staring at him daringly.

"What do you want?" Niles asked her. "I'm just going to get Daphne, what do you think?" The girl answered with a high wail. Niles startled. Apparently, Alice didn't want Daphne. Quickly, Niles sat down on the bed. Alice settled immediately. Her eyes were heavy with sleep, but she fought it vigorously. Niles couldn't help but smile at her. Despite having Roz as a mother, she was a cute child. Since she had quieted down, he figured he could check on Daphne. She was taking way too long for his liking. But as soon as he got up, Alice started to fuss again.

"Oh, Alice." He sighed. She kicked her legs as if to tell him something she couldn't yet voice verbally. Her face suddenly looked squishy and she started crying.

"Hey, I'm not leaving!" he told the girl, but apparently he'd failed in interpreting what Alice wanted from him. Niles felt helpless. He so desperately wanted to get Daphne to help him, but he didn't want to leave Alice if it distressed her so greatly.

"Do you want me to tell you a joke? I'm a terrible joker..." Alice continued to cry, but softer. When Niles didn't say anything else, her crying increased.

"I could tell you about my work?" More crying.

"Singing!" Niles said, finally remembering that you were supposed to sing to children to make them go to sleep. But what song could he sing to her? Think, Niles, think he told himself. Alice's face was all red and she looked almost as if in pain. Suddenly, a song popped into his head.

"Nothing's gonna harm you," he started softly and Alice immediately looked up at him, her crying subsiding, "not while I'm around." Niles continued with a smile. It was working!

"No one's gonna hurt you, no one's gonna dare." The more he sang, the more he felt the song. Alice eyes grew heavy. Her crying had stopped and she was only occasionally sobbing. Niles sang as if his life depended on it; he certainly felt like it did.

When Daphne had first heard Alice cry, she immediately wanted to go check on her and Niles. But then it'd stopped just as quickly and she decided to finish up and then check on them. Every once in a while, Alice would cry. Each time Daphne paused for a moment, but figured she was in good hands. When she was finally done, she walked towards Frasier's bedroom. She heard the song before she saw the scene. Daphne knew Niles could sing, of course, but it was as if his voice was begging her to come closer. So she did. As quietly as possible, she peaked inside the bedroom. Alice was staring intently at Niles, trying not to fall asleep while he was singing to her. Niles was just sitting there, gently comforting the child and singing.

"Others can desert you, not to worry - whistle I'll be there. Demons'll charm you with a smile for a while, but in time nothing can harm you... not while I'm around." Niles closed softly. Alice's eyes closed and she sighed happily, finally asleep. Just to make sure she wouldn't go back to screaming Niles waited another moment. She truly was cute, he decided. With a smile he got up and startled when he saw Daphne standing in the door. She likewise startled, too lost in the sentiment.

"That was beautiful, Dr. Crane." She told him and he blushed. Together they looked at the little girl sleeping. As if she was their child, but Niles immediately dismissed the thought. Ideas like that only brought him pain. Daphne on the other hand couldn't stop herself from imagining. She had never considered the younger Dr. Crane as a father before. She certainly did now. He would be a great father, she thought smiling. Just as Niles wanted to ask her about her smile, Frasier appeared behind them.

"What is Alice doing here?" He asked, destroying the moment. Niles and Daphne looked at each other, and then, just like that they both smiled at each other as if they had just shared a secret. Moments like these, Niles thought, and he could forever go on loving Daphne from afar.

END