All characters belong to Crystal Dynamics and Eidos (C) 1995- 2006.

Chapter One: The Ever Popular Jimmy

The truth can be discovered within an instant, unfortunately Moebius was all to aware of this sordid fact. Before him lay a months worth of tax receipts, absentee forms and for some strange reason Mortanius's sock collection. Though creepy by nature these disgusting wooly little things reminded the Gaurdian of Death that life was fickle and milk boys should always be prompt. He hoped to encourage the other members of the milk delivery organization by nailing these unholy creations to the Sarafan Strongholds entrance. As one black little right footer started to casually crawl over the Streamers left hand, he let out a wimper and sighed. Possessed milk boy socks were one thing, however he despised the other gaurdians desire to turn him into a glorified secretary. However this was in many ways preferable to the truth, if they ever discovered he was in fact Jimmy the janitor his time-streaming days would be over.

Thankfully in Nosgoth an amazing ability to disregard the laws of common sense resided, every single inhabitant kept a diary detailing their movements. Except for Raziel which explained his free will, that and the original was destroyed in an unfortunate Abyss incident. Not to mention a certain little Wraith was too lazy to create another copy, angst and deifying the wheel of fate were slightly more entertaining hobbies. Every time his omniscience slipped one of Moebius's many agents had failed to photocopy an important players latest entry. For some reason following a recently heartless Kain into a Hylden infested demon dimension was not Franks idea of a good time. Well at least Moebius managed to keep his head during his latest demise. As for Frank thanks to Mortanius, he was now eternally bound to a pike sporting his head outside Moebius's chamber. Despite the warm fuzzy Moebius gained from this experience, the Death Gaurdians favour came at a rather annoying price. His remaining days were to be focused on explaining Nosgoths various inconsistencies, sorting through Mortanius's damned collection of crap and cleaning his domain. Now if Moebius realized various demon infested realms were part of Morty's empire the whole pike thing may have seemed less appealing. Sadly his duties included inventorying Morty's milk boy socks and a rather abundant gathering of chairs that continued to cry out things like please help me kind sir or awww oooo.

Moebius had managed to set up a small workspace in Morty's room, multitasking was a highly valued skill in the Sarafan Stronghold. Despite witnessing this ability in some of his subordinates, there was a disturbed feeling associated with watching Raziel braid Turels hair whilst on guard duty. Thankfully these two ingrates were long dead and running around the future Nosgothian landscape enforcing their twisted fashion trends upon the huddled masses. Back in the present, Moebius was currently engaged in hand to hand combat with a possessed rubber duckie and some fuzzy pink bunny slippers. At this point Mortanius casually walked by to check on the Time Streamers/ Secretarys progress.

Mortanius: Enjoying yourself Moebius. If you do so find those slippers quite the excessary I can always point you to a guy in Willendorf who owns a nice little boutique.

Mortanius laughed as one bunny slipper somehow managed to attach itself lovingly to Moebius's larynx. After a brief struggle Moebius wrenched the fiend off, forced it to the ground and pinned it with his staff. The creature twitched for a few seconds then relented.

Moebius: Why do you torment me? A humble old man trying to better the world by helping deaths own hand with a little housekeeping.

Mortanius: Oh please Moebius, stop the foolish old man facade. I've known for an eternity, your personality echoes that of a back stabbing viper. Save your platitudes for the foolish like Raziel or even Kain.

Moebius: How can you slander me so? One of your own brethren- urk...?

At this point Mortanius revealed his limited patience and casually allowed his faithful rubber duckie to explore a new world. Which led to a certain old man enjoying the sights and smells of the rooms elaborate carpeting. As he lay in the classic foetal position, Mortanius casually walked over him and grabbed a collection of texts and a two sided coin. He then headed for the nearest exit, a large red wormhole with a do not disturb sign.

Mortanius: (as he left) Moebius I sincerely believe you should check this place out, your robes remain quite the fashion statement, when you vist a time some odd twenty thousand years ago.

He dropped a card, which according to Nosgoths gravitational rules landed in the most convenient place possible. Moebius glanced at the thin piece of paper now in his hand. It had a rather dashing picture of a man with long flowing black hair tied up in a pony tail. The text in the corner read: The Willendorf Fashion of Faustus.

Raziel soon became painfully aware that certain individuals were casting a very unfortunate light towards his new found Janos Audron obsession. If the ring-leader failed to stop these outrageous claims he would become one with a certain sushi place near Coorhagen. Raziel couldn't help but feel a tad guilty for Janos Audron's drastic change from a warm mentor and animal lover to a heartless corpse. Not to mention the fact he kind of left the body under a pile of rubble whilst dashing off to find his crushed benefactors missing organ. Hopefully Vorador had read the short message he just dropped off on the Vampires favourite self portrait, which also happened to be a large welcome mat. Despite the fact his note lacked Shakespearian overtures and actually said:

The big blue sleeps with the fishes.

Oh and it's kind of Kains fault, yep

good old Kain- Raz.

Raziel hoped to the dear sweet Elder God alternative that Vorador had a vague idea what in the Abyss was happening. Besides cryptic messages were a vital staple amongst the average major characters in this realm. Anyway the slight detour also helped to explain the Sarafan Six's amazing ability to best Raziels running speed.

After a brief confrontation with a Hylden pair who addressed themselves as Jack and Ha till nab', Raziel managed to jump over several demonic couples as he ran towards the Stronghold. Upon entering the main hallway there was a slight cursing noise and a distinct scream as what sounded like a pile of possessed milk boy socks had fallen onto a shocked time gaurdian. The wraith stopped suddenly as someone in an archaic twenty thousand year old robe, crawled out of a large red wormhole ladden room, whilst attempting to strangle several black socks. Moebius trying to regain a shred of dignity gradually stood up to his full height and glared menacingly into Raziels glowing eye sockets.

Moebius: Redeemer, Destroyer and my favourite pawn we meet again.

Raziel: Old man, what is this? A trick or some grand scheme designed to twist what's left of my confused psyche? I refuse to be your puppet trapped in an infinite web of lies and deceit.

Moebius: Despite my overwhelming desire to validate your self absorbed theories Raziel, this has absolutely nothing to do with you! Mortanius desired my expert skills.

Raziel: ...

Moebius: Besides at least my multi-tasking does not reside within the realm of hair foreplay. Ah Malek, nice of you to finally join us. Honestly I'm surprised my skin is still attached.

Malek looking slightly confused, despite his armour ensemble covering up the majority of his facial features, lets just say they could tell by the way he held onto that gigantic staff and wiggled his butt.

Malek: I'm sorry Lord Moebius, there was this nice green gentleman at the main gate who wanted to personally thank the circle for supporting the Sarafan...

Moebius: Despite my obvious overwhelming interest in your fascinating tale, we have company. This grotesque abomination who surprisingly didn't come in any other colour than blue, is the real threat to the circle!

Raziel: Hey!

Malek: Um ok, seeing as I don't believe there is anyone else around to threaten the circle, I guess I could guard this fiend.

Moebius: You guess? My word is final!

Raziel: Excuse me, the blue abomination is still here!

Suddenly a blood curdling scream flowed down the corridor.

Gaurdian 1: MALEK!

Moebius: Honestly I really don't have time for this, there are socks to destroy.

Gaurdians 1-6: MALEK GET YOUR SHINEY ASS DOWN HERE!

Malek: Lord Moebius, the gaurdians, I think they need a hand with something.

Moebius: Just a few more minutes.

Moebius grabs his pocket watch from a strange place- as his robes seem to have no distinct pockets and began to count down the seconds.

Moebius: That should just about do it, Malek you may go.

Malek: Hopefully I get there in time or Mortanius may extract a reasonable chunk out of my lower back region.

Moebius distinctly bored with the current situation, knowing its outcome, casually throws the Soul Reaver into an unaware Raziels direction. After a fun thud, the wraith runs off to continue his quest for the heart of darkness, Moebius strolls back to Mortanius's possessed quarters. He rolls his eyes upon seeing the black socks have started a crusade against the red ones. The mock parody continued as a green sock was about to have its, lack for a better word, head chopped off. As this drama unfolded a distinctly human Raziel popped his head around the corner.

Sarafan Raziel: My, my, Lord Moebius your looking a bit drab, have you tried this store in Willendorf ran by a naive called Faus...urk?

Moebius experiencing the after effects of a rather tiring day found the staffed rabbit slippers other pair and showed his Sarafan subordinate the cons of annoying a strained Time-Streamer.

NCA: If there is a character you would love to see in an upcoming chapter, don't hesitate to scream out his or her name.