I glanced over at Jazz, taking my eyes off the road; a dangerous mistake in maybe Volterra, but not here. No one lived in Forks. Seriously. Carlisle did get my props there. I mean, how do people live in the middle of nowhere? No stores, no coffee, and more important to me, no humans.
I wasn't surprised to find Jazz staring at herself in the reflection of her phone. She's been a tad bit obsessed with herself ever since she's become a vampire. I mean, not like I actually knew her before she was a vampire, but still. Anyways, I mean she has every right to be; seriously, look at her. Long, spiraling blonde hair, with fair, scarred skin, bright ambitious eyes, and red, satin dress to match. Not just boys stare; girls do too. She catches everyone's attention. And God, I'm no exception.
I cleared my throat, looking back to the road, before I could get too caught up in her. But the best part about her these days is the ring on her finger. The ring that means she's agreed to be mine. No matter how many downright stupid things I'll do; she'll forgive me. The ring that means she'll be there for me for eternity.
"Can I /help/ you?" I felt her look up from the phone to stare at me, and I couldn't keep myself from grinning, even though she didn't look too happy. She wasn't so positive about coming here to see the Cullens. I think it has something to do with those verbal and physical jabs she threw at Carlisle and the rest of the gang during the big fight. It turned out to be a huge misunderstanding. But still, Bella almost killing her when Jazz had no intention of killing Ross could create some harsh feelings between each other.
"Stop staring at yourself. I think you're in love with your reflection more than you are me," I grinned, looking over to her. She raised her eyebrows at me, and I chuckled, looking back to the road. A layer of wet rain covered everything. I could see small buildings approaching soon; which meant the heart of Forks. On through that, and we'd be at the Cullens.
"I learned from the best." She adjusted herself onto the armrest, so she was leaning on it, so her head could lie on my shoulder, if she wanted. She was staring at the road. "The last place I ever want to see is this town. Makes me…sick." Her head quickly turned toward me. "Don't make me go."
Her tone was strictly serious, and she actually meant it. She didn't want to be here. She'd been beaten, abused, and used as a slave for years while living in this town, and the only person who noticed didn't do much about it. I could see why she didn't want to be here. But for my own selfish reasons, I /did/ want to be here. I wanted to see Ross, and even Carlisle, and that new kid, because last time I saw them, I feel like things didn't go over well.
I looked over to Jazz, and she was staring back with pleading eyes. Oh God… She knows how to twist heartstrings like it's her own business…
"It's okay, Jazz," I said, looking back to the road. We were now in downtown Forks, which wasn't much. There were buildings all around; an active diner here, an old tool store, a body shop, tattoo parlor, bar, grocery mart. Nothing much besides that. I slowed at a stop sign, not really stopping, and went on through.
"I'm here. You're safe." I looked to her then, and I was sure I'd said the right thing. She nodded, her muscles unclenching and relaxing, her hair falling over her almost bare shoulders. But before I could take in much more than that, the loud sound of sirens sounded off behind me.
Glancing into my rearview mirror, the red and blue flashing lights were obvious. I sighed, cursing under my breath, looking for a place to pull over. Jazz laughed, as I figured she would. What an evil girl.
I pulled over in front of the shifty looking bar, even though I figured that wasn't a very good place, but at least I pulled over. The police pulled over behind me.
"Have you been drinking?" Jazz said, pulling on my arm, with a cocky smile. I looked over to her, and she laughed again. "Where you coming from, son?"
"Authority makes me nervous," I laughed, glancing into the mirror again. The policeman slowly got out of the car, grabbing something as he did. I rolled down my window. Jazz snorted at my comment, sneaking in a kiss, and leaning back to her seat to stare out the passenger window at the bar. I looked to the cop standing outside my window.
"Are you new to town, son?" The man asked, leaning on the window seal. I looked up to him, even though I couldn't see his eyes due to his sunglasses. Meanwhile, I did notice his nametag. Swan. Charlie Swan, I figure. It's only a matter of time till he realizes my eyes are red and he lets me go. See, he knows about vampires. Except the Cullens don't think I know. And they're wrong. Besides, I'd met him at Renesmee's funeral, for what that counted.
"I'm here to visit a friend," I said, then second guessed that. "More like… An ally."
The man raised his eyebrows, and slowly lifted his sunglasses to the top of his head. After seeing what I truly looked like, his mouth parted open, and his face turned a sick shade of white. He glanced at Jazz, who was staring too, looking as uninterested in torturing him as she was.
"Why are you here? Have the Cullens done something… Against the law?" His voice was low; as if he was scared someone else would hear. So the Cullens /have/ been talking about me. When introduced to him, I was just "Alec". No last name, no Volturi in sight. Someone must've told him… Hah.
Jazz laughed from beside me, and he looked to her, looking even more panicked now that she was laughing. "If they're anything like Alec, probably so." I'd have to thank her for that hilarious joke later.
I looked back to Charlie, and even though he'd seemed like he'd seen the worst thing in his life inbetween Jazz and I, he still managed to nod. "You two are free… To go…"
I grinned a little. "I'll give your regards to Bella, no?"
He seemed to be trying to figure out if I was joking or not, but he nodded again, stepping back from the car slowly. Jazz snorted a laugh from besides me, even though it was pretty cruel of her; newborns really only care for themselves and their creators. Not really anyone, or anything, else; except, the big one, blood.
"Ciao." I checked the road for incoming cars, remembered where I was, and pulled out anyways, spinning up gravel behind us. This car could get some speed, even though it wasn't as fast as on foot travel. Jazz hates to run, and I don't like her to around here; if she broke the Cullens law on humans, then the werewolves get their nasty snouts in on it, and bam, war. And as much as I would like to say I hate Carlisle, and I do at times, I do respect him in the way he run a house full of what, like, nine people? And he keeps them all under rules and whipped. It takes three Volturi leaders to do that to like twenty one of us.
Main point, if I can, I'll take a few bullets for Carlisle as long as they can be easily prevented. But I won't be talking Aro into asking him to rejoin or anything.
"Did you know him?" Jazz asked, putting her hand on my arm. I laughed, with a nod, taking that arm's hand off the steering wheel, and laying it on the console. She quickly slipped her hand down my arm to lay her hand in mine. "That was cruel, Alec. Very, very cruel…" Her voice had faded to a slow, dark tone, but quiet. She thought for a second, and finished with, "Do you even have a license?"
"Of course I do. I'm seven hundred years old. Why would I not have a license?" I laughed a little, staring out on the curvy road to the Cullen's house. We were long past town now, in mid forest.
Jazz shrugged. "Because you're dangerous and blood thirsty… Why would you even need one?"
"I get carded at bars a lot," I explained, with a shrug.
Jazz let out a laugh, and I started up the gravel driveway. Poor car. I loved this car. It was sleek, low to the ground, and black. I was the only one who actually used it though, since everyone else preferred walking. Walking did alright; I mean it got you there; a lot faster than cars. And you never got pulled over… But since there is technology, I suggest we use it. I've walked enough miles for everyone in my childhood.
"Didn't even know you went to bars," Jazz said lightly. "I just always assumed the Volturi members did what they're best at… Doing nothing."
"Be careful talking about yourself like that." She looked back at me, scrunching up her nose at me, and sticking out her tongue.
"You know what I mean."
I felt obligated to tell her more; to tell her that it was just kind of a thing of my own. But that thing of my own was usually to go out to a dark bar, find an unlucky woman, down a few drinks with her, bring her home, have my cruel ways, and by the time she realized what I was, she was dead. Of course, it was never love. Love doesn't happen overnight; it happens when you first see them. And I never saw anything in those girls except drunkenness and lust.
But the Cullen house saved me from having to feel guilty any longer. Jazz's grip tightened on me significantly, and I glanced at her; even though it was useless, because she was staring at the dollhouse before us. I pulled the car up to in front of the garage, where I usually park. I slowly looked to Jazz now, and she caught on, and looked back to me. I glanced down at wool jacket, where she had taken a tireless, iron grip.
"It's okay." My words didn't do anything to calm her this time. "You know they forgave you. It's not a big deal-."
I stopped myself as her hand drew off my arm, and unlatched her seat belt. Besides that, she made no other movements as her body eerily relaxed. I reached out to her, and brushed her shoulder with the back of my hand. She looked up alarmingly fast, which was just one result of her anxiety. But the next moment, almost too fast for me to even catch, her lips were pressed against mine, and even if I wanted to, I couldn't find the strength to pull away. I slipped my hand down her back, against the silky satin that lined her body almost perfectly, as her lips worked mine into what she wanted. If it wasn't obvious before, it's the clearest thing now…
I'm in love.
She pulled back quicker than I wanted, and I couldn't help but sit there, mouth still open, just staring at her like the wordless idiot I am. She opened her mouth to say something, but I held up my hand and waved her off. "No… Come back. I want more than that."
Her eyebrows came together, and she looked more surprised than she should've been. I've neglected her a lot lately; like I said, the whole Aro thing and other . But I never meant to. Since the proposal, things have been better, even though it's only been a few days. She's been so good to me. She always is, but better than she ever has been. She loves me too. I know this because she shows it with honesty. In the way she kisses, talks, and shows her scars. She…loves me.
I shoved up the console, and she shuffled herself closer. I picked her up by the waist, awkward in the car's height, and brought her to lie across my lap. She let out a laugh, laying her head on my chest and arm, grinning at me, stretching her long legs out across the seat, so her heels pressed into the other door. She pushed the blonde curly hair from her face, showcasing a smile that no one could beat.
"You're my world…" I whispered to her, wrapping my arms around her back. This was painfully romantic, but it felt good. It felt right. I pulled her closer to me, and her grin got wider, wilder. "I love you." She reached out with one hand, running it down my profile, with a smile to beat hell beneath her lips. She ran her hand down until there was nothing to trace, and she thought for a second, before slipping her hand under my scarf to the nape of my neck. If any place on my body got me a little bit love drunk, it would be there. When she pressed her fingers into my neck, it took all my power to continue holding her. I swallowed hard, closing my eyes.
I felt her adjust, to come closer. Her ice cold breath trailed down the side of my face, and I knew she was dangerously close. I remember being trained about newborns. Aro had said specifically, "Don't let them close to you. Don't trust them. They'll deceive you. They will tear you apart…" I have stayed close to that advice my whole life. Until now. Jazz could do anything with me. She could push me off that cliff, and if I was lucky enough to survive, she could convince me that she still loved me. She's evil, but she's mine.
"I love you," she breathed out in one breath, her lips tracing my jaw at she did so. I almost groaned, pushing myself up against the seat. I felt her smile, and then her smile against my lips. I easily surrendered myself to her. I felt her teeth drag against mine, and I gasped for a breath, before realizing I didn't really need it. She showed no mercy as she kissed me harder, forcing me to breath out my nose. I hoped I made her feel this way too; when she does this, it makes me feel awkward and useless, with nowhere to put my hands. I'd been with hundreds of women, and figured them out in one night. I'd been with Jazz for a good month and a half, and I had no clue about her.
She slowly pulled back, and I opened my eyes, to see if anything was wrong. She was staring back at me, not a smile daring to grace her bold features. She stared hard at me, and I didn't want to move. I had her undivided attention, and even though I didn't deserve it, I craved it. I didn't want to throw it away.
The loud rumble of thunder shook the ground, and Jazz jumped, hitting her head on the car. She cringed, her face turning sourly with pain. But I couldn't help but laugh. She was terrified of storms. I already knew that, but I didn't expect it to actually storm… But, yeah, I was in Forks, I should've prepared her better. Or at least reminded her it stormed a lot here, even in the winter.
I slowly unbuttoned my favorite wool jacket, something I've had for the last hundred years or so, and awkwardly tried to work it off my arms. It was already pouring outside. Meanwhile, Jazz wasn't making it easily, since she'd pressed herself against me, clenching onto my undershirt. That's another thing about newborns. They're all surprisingly daring and suicidal, prepared to do whatever their creator mentioned; but every single one of them had a weakness. Jazz's just happened to be storms…
I finally got it off my arms, with a sigh of relief. "Sit up, Jazz," I said sternly. No matter how cruel it was, even before we started dating, I'd practiced my tones with her. If it was stern and serious, she'd bow down to my will. But if I showed weakness, she didn't obey.
But this time, she did. She glanced up at me timidly, wondering if she'd down something wrong, probably. I forced myself to stay strong, even my facial expressions; otherwise she wouldn't go for it. She hesitantly sat up, still staring at me, waiting for the next command. I pulled the jacket over her left arm, and then her right. It was horribly baggy on her, and clashed with her sexy dress, but it was for her sake. I stripped my scarf then, wrapping it around her neck.
"You'll get wet," Jazz said quietly, as if scared to speak up. "I won't allow it."
I looked down at myself; a long sleeved white shirt, with dark red suspenders, and black pants. I had a resemblance to a member of a boy band, and in that way, I wanted my jacket back; but I wanted her arms and dry more. I looked up to her, smiling as I shook my head.
"Don't worry about me. I'm going to carry you in, okay?" It was always better to ask a newborn, even one like the likes of Jazz, because do something too unexpected and you could lose an arm. She nodded, and I slipped my hands under her. She laid her head against my chest, her breath tingling against my neck. Unfff.
I kicked at the door, and with a protesting groan of metal grinding, it opened. I realize now the damage I probably did to the body of the car on the outside, but it could be fixed. I climbed out of the door, careful not to hit Jazz's head, or my own, getting out. The second I stepped out of the cars safety, I was already drenched.
Jazz let out a laugh and a cry mixed together, and I couldn't help but glance at her. She was holding on for dear life, as if I'd seriously drop her. But I wouldn't. She had every right to never trust a man again after that horrible person who bears to call himself a man who raised her. But she was still smiling, burying her face with the sleeves of my jacket.
I kicked the door shut, leaving another dent, I'm sure, but what the hell. It was already wrecked. I started walking towards the door at a human pace, mostly because Jazz doesn't like being carried at vampire speed. It makes her feel like she's falling, and she doesn't like it. So I obey her simple rules, and I walk at human pace.
"Are you okay?" I glanced down to her; meanwhile mis-stepping into Esme's planted flowers beside the sidewalk. The rain quickly washed away the evidence, and I laughed a little, quickening my pace for the door. I felt Jazz nod, so I guess that counted. I was thankful to see Jasper already holding the door open. I scurried up the stairs, and into the door, dripping wet.
I slowly sat Jazz down on her feet, making sure she was sturdy on her high heels before I let go of her. She grinned wildly at me, obviously enjoying the stroll through the rain more than she probably should. I reached out to her, unwinding the scarf from her neck, and putting it on the coat rack. Jasper stood beside us, watching, grinning actually.
"Something wrong with your legs, Jazz?" he asked, and then laughed, leaning against the wall. I slowly slipped the jacket off of her, and hung it on the rack too. It was too wet for me to possibly wear now. I looked back down to Jazz, who was smiling up at Jasper, pushing the hanging hair from her face.
"Yeah, a whole lot of lazy," Jazz smirked, crossing her arms across her chest. She looked like an angel. The red dress lining her very outline, her heels making her taller than normal, her bare legs self-consciously shown off. She looked like the angel she was.
"Nice to see you're back to your normal self. Even though you don't dress like you used to." He chuckled, looking over her, as Jazz looked down at herself. "What? A t-shirt and sweatpants don't cut it anymore? Does Alec dress you or something?"
Jasper looked to me, with a grin. Still, I didn't really find it funny. He looked back down to Jazz awkwardly.
"I'm pretty now. I get to wear what I want," Jazz grinned in an obvious tone, in a way that almost made me sick. This is all that one man's fault. He made her feel ugly. He deserved to die… And he would, if I could get Jazz to fess up where he lived.
"You were always pretty." Jasper shut the main door over the screen door, and turned to stare at Jazz. "You were just blind.."
Jazz stared at him a second, looking confused. He pet her on the head then, with a laugh. "Besides, with that big ring on your finger, you're really not you. I thought you said you had too many dreams for any boy?" Jasper teased.
Jazz glanced back at me, and it pained me. She probably actually said that. She once had dreams of being the best musician there ever was… And all ruined. Because the Volturi wanted a pawn. Why did I do that… Why…
"I changed my mind," Jazz said confidently, looking away from me, back to Jasper. She glanced back to me, with a small smile. "I have new dreams now. The old ones aren't important."
I wondered what those were. If she dreamed of something like settling down in Vermont with me, and having our own family… Or if she dreamed of overthrowing the Volturi and creating a vampire democracy. Whatever the dream, I hoped it was with me. I hoped I was now a big part of her life.
"Yeah, yeah, puppy love. You guys make me sick," Jasper snorted, waving Jazz off. "Some of the family's in here," he said, stepping off in the direction of the living room, "but the other half is somewhere else."
Jazz stood, waiting for me, arm out, hand in the air for me to take. I smiled, walking up, and taking it her hand in mine. Her left hand, actually. I could feel the ring. We slowly trailed behind Jasper for the living room. Her steps were very gentle and elegant, even in the heels she stunted.
The second we stepped into the living room, we were greeted by a round of applause, and only then it was obvious we'd been lead on because /even the Denali's/ was here. Douchebags. Jazz backed off a step, taking in all the people. Carlisle and Ross of all people should know that Jazz hates people, crowds, and attention. So all of these things were right here.
I glanced at her, but she didn't seem frightened; if anything, a little tipped off. Her lips twitched, in debate rather to snarl or not. Her muscles were tightening, prepared to fight. I quickly squeezed her hand crushingly tight, to get her attention. She gasped, and looked to me, and I shook my head. If this didn't work out, it was my own fault. Jazz didn't want to come in the first place.
"Jazz!" There was one shrill voice that immediately came above the rest; a voice I'd known for years. Ross jumped up from the couch, from beside Hayden, wearing a… dress? It was a sweater dress, but still a dress. Alice must've dumped her wardrobe again somewhere. Ross was already running at Jazz, and Jazz slowly worked her hand out of my grip. I figured Jazz could take the smell; unless something caught her attention.
Ross collided between Jazz and I, hugging us in the same grip. I wrapped one arm around her, and Jazz kind of awkwardly touched her, as if she thought she was too good to be handled. But I knew it was the blood getting to her. Ross pulled away a second later, grinning wildly. Jazz smiled unconvincingly.
"You two… You're getting married!" she called out, as if we didn't know. Jazz nodded, holding out her left hand for Ross to see, and Ross's eyes got wide at the sight of the rubies, diamonds, and just the ring in general. "Alec… That's your mom's ring… Except better." She looked up at me almost questioningly, but I chuckled, with a nod.
"I had it remastered for Jazz. But yes, it is my mother's ring." I felt Jazz's fingertips touch against my hand, and I quickly snatched her hand before she could play bashful with me. I glanced at her, and she smiled down to the ground. That was the worst thing about bringing her here. At the castle, she was prized and looked up to by everyone else, because she /is/ the most powerful one there. But here, she wasn't treated like royalty. Which she liked, but she just isn't the confident girl I know.
Ross opened her mouth to say something else, when Carlisle interrupted from where he sat on the couch. "Why don't you let them sit down, Ross? It's a long travel from Italy." Ross rolled her eyes, flicking hair from her face; teenagers, I tell you what. But she gave a smile to Jazz and I, and turned to stroll back to her seat.
It seemed as though we didn't have much of a choice when it came to where we'd be sitting; the only place they'd hadn't taken up was the loveseat. Jazz lead me there, sitting very close to me, not that I cared, and crossed her legs to face everyone else. She let out a slow, steady breath; a try to redeem her composure. It was still a little shaky.
It was quiet for a few seconds that seemed like hours. An awkward silence. Jazz had an empty stare, tracing down to the coffee table. I looked around, and the same feel wasn't there as there was before. It was the kind of silence you shared at a funeral. Not when you found out two people were getting married.
Jazz's head snapped up at an alarming rate, her lips pulling back over her teeth. I quickly grabbed her arm, but she seemed to be making no quick moves to actually get up. "Fine, now you all know!" Jazz snapped wildly, and I was getting the weird feeling that she wasn't talking about the marriage anymore. "I was abused all my life, left for dead, and none of you did anything. It took a stranger to get me out of that mess! And Bella killed me! Yes, that makes some awkward vibes, but seriously, think something better of it? Please! If not for me, Alec's been alive for seven hundred years and is getting /married/." Jazz let out a sign mixed with a growl, as she leaned back. "What the hell. To be the nice covens, you're not doing a good job. You're no better than us…"
I couldn't say I was expecting that outburst either, but everyone looked thoroughly shocked. They knew she could read minds; why would they be so uncareful with someone who was so on the fence? Jazz was cool and calm now, staring at the ground, acting as if she was innocent of never saying a word. Everyone had to take a breather after that outburst. I slowly put my hand into her's again, and she clenched on tightly.
"That's not what this is about…" I contributed.
"And it's not. It's about Christmas. And the proposal, of course," Carlisle spoke up, having to be the balls and the brains for the family, like always.
"I like your dress, Jazz." Alice smiled a little, even though it was hard to tell if she really meant it or not. But Jazz would know. Jazz looked up, as if surprised anyone would talk to her after that, and gave a weak smile.
"You're not feeling well," Edward spoke up, out of turn. At first, I had no idea what he was talking about, but then I realized the only two who even /possibly/ could not be feeling well were Ross and Jazz. I looked at Ross, and she seemed to be more worried than concerned. I glanced at Jazz, and I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it before. Her face was flushed of all color, and her eyes were slow. A result of more power coming in, probably, but still.
"This meeting should wait. Maybe the flight was too much for you to take."
Carlisle nodded in agreement, even though Ross looked horrified. I felt bad for her. She hadn't seen Jazz since the night she saved her life, and Jazz wasn't feeling good enough to possibly be excited about anything. "You can take the room you always do, Jazz. We'll get your bags…" Carlisle looked to me then. "More powers, I presume?"
I nodded, even though I couldn't be sure. "Probably."
He smiled a little. "Can you care for her?"
I nodded, looking to Jazz then. She stared back at me then, almost looking worried. I gave a smile to her, hoping that'd soothe one piece of her, but she just looked away. I bit my lip, standing up, and her hand in mine. She sat for a second more or so, and then slowly stood up, as if daring to put weight on her feet.
"What's wrong, Jazz? Are you okay?" Ross called from across the room, but Hayden held her back from actually coming close. Ross looked at him offended almost, and fought against his grasp. Jazz didn't look up. I lead her to the stairs, and then picked her up, tailing it up at the stairs at vampire speed. That's what Jazz would want. She didn't like the attention, I don't think.
Her guest room was the one besides Ross's room… I know, because I murdered Jazz in it. I quickly walked in, shutting the door with my foot, as I walked in, and locking it the best I could. The room had been thoroughly cleaned of Jazz's blood, and bloodied things had been replaced. I guess I did owe the Cullens an apology on that one… But I was starving, what could I say?
I laid Jazz down on the bed, and she routinely kicked off her shoes. I sat on the edge of the bed beside her, as she nestled down into the pillows and thick comforters, resting her back on the headboard. I could tell something was dangerously wrong; no one stares at you that calmly unless something is dangerously wrong. She reached out for my hands, and I took her's in mine.
She swallowed hard, looking at me almost like she was begging. "Do you love me?"
The question caught me off guard. I thought I'd answered that thoroughly throughout today. Maybe she just wanted to hear it. To be sure.
"Jazz, you know I do," I said, squeezing her hands tighter. Her head slowly became upturned, her face to glow in the false light. She relaxed against the head board, breathing routinely in and out. Her eyes were squeezed tight.
"Would you ever leave me?" she asked so quietly that I could barely even make out what she'd said. I stared at her, waiting for her to say more. What was this about. Who told her what this time? It was untrue.
"What is this all about-," I began.
"Just answer me!" she snapped, but didn't make any movements.
"Jazz, I'd never leave you. You know that. I'd do anything for you. Even if that meant dying for you, it's what I'd do." I slowly let go of her right hand, to touch her cheek softly. Her skin was cold and hard under my hands. Times like this I wish I would've had the self control to leave her human. What a beautiful human she'd be. "Now, tell me what's wrong, angel."
Her eyes slowly came open, and she moved to look at me again. Her eyes were full of tears now. Jazz was partly human until all her powers come in, which includes the powers to die, be sick, cry, and sleep. She still drinks blood; still looks and acts like a newborn; she's just partially human. Not enough to be a hybrid, but just about one forth.
The icy white tears streamed down her face quickly, and her lip quivered. I was just getting ready to make another attempt to calm her, when she spoke up, but only a tiny whimper came out. She cleared her throat and tried again. "I-I'm… pregnant, Alec. That's what's wrong."
"What?" I hadn't meant to ask, but… what? I mean, it's not like her and I hadn't… You know. That's not the unbelievable part. The unbelievable part was that my soon to be wife, only topping off at age sixteen, was pregnant, and I was useless. Jazz had dreams before me. She knew before now. I mean, duh, she is telling me right now. But… My fiancé… With my baby…
Jazz nodded painfully, more tears falling down her face. I wanted to ask her what we should do; but she doesn't know. I promised her I'd care for her, but how could I care for her when I was clueless myself. I didn't know what to tell her to calm her fears. There was no promise what would happen; Aro could chose to kill the baby, Jazz, and myself… The baby could even kill Jazz.
No. We'd live through this. We had no choice.
"Don't cry, Jazz." I scooted her closer, so she was sitting besides me, her feet off the bed like mine. She immediately fell into my shoulder, tears uncontrollably falling, her whole body shaking. "Shhh… Don't cry." I wrapped my arms around her tightly, but I could do nothing to calm her fears. She wasn't even scared; she was terrified. And honestly, I was too.
"I'm sorry," she whispered to me, inbetween breaths and cries. I felt her damp eyes against my neck.
"Sorry?" I asked. "Jazz, what are you sorry for?"
"You don't want a baby." She said the words so sure, so confident in them, that it made my stomach churn. "I've messed up your life." She clenched onto me harder as she began to cry harder.
I didn't really plan to have a baby; she's right if that's what she meant. I had always thought of myself one day having kids, but always figured it would be a plot never put into action. But now… Now I could have a baby. Raise him or her with Jazz. I want to stay at the castle, but it's no place for a child. We'd have to live on a safer level of the castle, or the garden building or… something, we could figure that out later. Coming home everyday to Jazz caring for /our/ child… This wasn't a bad thing. No! This was good!
"Jazz, this is a great thing." I rubbed my hands up and down her arms, hoping to get her to quiet down. At my words, she quieted to listen. "Imagine it… Don't you want to raise a child with me?" I asked.
She sat up to look at me, wiping tears from her face. Her hair was a bit of a mess now, but that was okay. "You know I do." She rubbed her eyes desperately. "I just figured eh-… I figured a man who's been a bachelor for seven hundred years was taking hesitant steps towards a /wife/, more or less a /baby/."
I laughed a little, and she stared at me like I was crazy. "Jazz, I love you, and I'll love the baby. I just feel bad for you… What about finishing high school, and college? You don't get to do all those things."
"Can you teach me?" she asked weakly. "I don't want to go back to school."
I nodded, with a grin. "Yes, of course." Even so, I believe she was forgetting a big part of this, and that was Aro. If she didn't go back to the castle, he'd know something had gone wrong, and send men out to investigate. But if she did go back, the day she started showing, it'd be obvious to him and everyone else. The rumors would be out of control.
"I already talked to Aro and Carlisle," she said slowly, and I moved to look at her. She was smiling very weakly. "Aro says us, and the baby, are off the hook, as long as the baby is partially human and becomes a member of the Guard. And we have to be married. That's fair, right?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
I nodded. It was, as far as Aro's negotiations went. I mean, I don't know if I liked the thought of our child actually doing the same job as myself, because it /did/ get nasty. But trained right, he or she could too become one of the strongest members ever created. But I can't help but wonder how long Jazz knew; is that why Aro was pushing the engagement?
"Carlisle says he'll deliver the baby, and as far as he knows so far, the baby is completely healthy. But I'll only carry the baby for about three months… Three times as fast as humans." Jazz stared at me, and blinked heavily. This was hard on her, I know. It'd be hard on everyone. "Are you sure this is what you want, Alec? We're not married yet if-."
"Jazz, don't kid yourself. I would never do that. Jesus Christ, I love you! What don't you understand about that!" The second I said that, I realized yelling at her was a mistake. As her creator, she thinks I'm shunning her; and I'm not. I just want her to see that. But she was staring at me almost worried, almost scared. Wide eyed and confused. Yeah, okay, I suck.
"I didn't mean to yell at you, Jazz. I promise I didn't." I leaned in to kiss her, but she threw herself against the headboard, putting space between us. I sighed, leaning down and kissing her hand. "I love you though. Do you know that?" I stared at her, as she slowly nodded.
A smile slowly spread across her face. "I love you too." She grabbed my arm, and pulled on me. I chuckled under my breath, moving up to sit beside her so our backs were against the wall. She then took my hand, laying it on her stomach.
I didn't feel anything. Nothing out of the ordinary. "Jazz, it's probably too ear-," I had began, when a movement under my hand interrupted me. I glanced at Jazz, and she was smiling. That's probably how she first found out; the movement. "Wow," I grinned. "We're going to be… parents, Jazz."
Jazz nodded hesitantly. "I'm scared I won't be a good mother… I've never really /had/ a mother." I had forgotten about that, really.
"You'll be a terrific mother, Jazz. We'll make it through this together, okay?" I asked her, and she nodded. I smiled a little, pulling her close and kissing her temple.
Before anything could be farther said, there was a knock at the door. I glanced at Jazz, and she nodded again. I trusted that Jazz knew who it was, and didn't mind them bugging her. "Come in!"
The door opened slowly, and Carlisle walked in, no surprise, right? But, he was followed by Esme, so I suppose we were mixing it up a little. They had our bags in hand, and silently, to my surprise, carried them to the corner of the room.
But it felt too weird. Even though Carlisle already knew, he'd always been a kinda sorta father figure to me, and it felt weird to not tell him. "I'm going to be a Dad," I spoke up, catching both of their attentions. They both straightened up, and grinned wildly; so they both knew.
"Congratulations," Carlisle smiled.
"Is the baby healthy?" I asked, and he nodded.
"There's not much to go off of. But by next week, we should have some better idea."
I nodded, looking back to Jazz. Her eyes were shut, and she was leaning against the head board. I still don't think she was feeling well; especially after that news. I looked back to Carlilse. "Thanks for all you've done, and all you're going to do… Truly, I mean it. And I'm very sorry for what I've done. For destroying this room, this house… For taking Jazz from Ross and letting Aro create an unneeded war. I am, I'm truly sorry."
They exchanged looks, still both smiling. "It's alright, Alec. It's just nice to see you around here again."
