Which side of the fence is the dream?

AN:This story begins after episode 3x06: Don't Hate the Player. Just my thoughts as to what happened later that night. Written as a one-shot that could possibly be added to if I get around to it. Let me know if you want more. I obviously own nothing related to Warehouse 13 except for a couple DVDs. Are disclaimers really necessary on this site? Isn't the point that everyone is taking something that isn't theirs and using it to make a story?

The title of their story come from Erin Morgenstern's amazing Novel The Night Circus. "You think as you walk away from Le Cirque des Reves and into the creeping dawn, that you felt more awake within the confines of the circus. You are no longer quite certain which side of the fence is the dream."


Despite the catharsis that Claudia said she felt after defeating her doctor in the video game world, Myka could tell she wasn't really okay afterwards. But she didn't push it at the time. They had more pressing things to worry about. They all needed to make it out of Fargo's game alive.

But that night, Myka couldn't sleep. She kept thinking about the pure terror she saw in Claudia's face when she was strapped to the bed, and the way she kept her face turned away immediately afterwards.

She looked at the clock. 3:17 AM.

Maybe a glass of water would help her sleep. Or possibly some Twizzlers. Myka got up, pulled on some socks, and headed towards the kitchen. As she walked down the hall, she saw light under Claudia's door. Claudia was always up to all hours of the night doing god only knows what on her computer, but this was late even for her. Maybe she had fallen asleep with her light on.

Myka tiptoed over to her door. Sure enough, she heard a ferocious clicking of keys with a speed that could only have belonged to Claudia. There was a pause in the typing that was filled with a long sigh before the typing resumed again. Myka quietly rapped on her door and whispered, "Claudia?" There was another break in the typing sound. "It's Myka. Can I come in?"

"Come in? Um… Yeah… Yeah! Come in! It's unlocked."

Myka opened the door and saw Claudia sitting cross-legged on top of her bed in a tank top and pajama pants, laptop in front of her, open but with the screen tilted down so Myka couldn't see what she had been doing on it.

"And what brings you into my vast kingdom on this late evening, m'lady?" Claudia asked of Myka, echoing the dialogue in the game they had been trapped in only hours earlier.

Myka sat down at the foot of Claudia's bed. "Couldn't sleep." She spoke normally, too tired to play along with what Claudia had started. "Sometimes my brain just won't shut up, you know? Went to get a drink of water and saw your light on under your door. Thought I'd come in and ask you what you were still doing awake at 3 o'clock in the morning. Wanted to make sure you were okay after everything that happened in the game today."

Claudia looked at the clock in her room and a, obviously fake, shocked look crossed her face, as if she had no idea what time it was. "Woah! Didn't realize how late it had gotten. Been up doing the computer-y things," she waved her hands over the gadget, "and guess I lost track of time. I just have a few things I want to finish up and I should be asleep in 30-45 minutes max!" She picked up her computer and placed it on her lap, seemingly in determination to finish whatever it was she had been working on.

"Yeah," Myka said, "I'm sure." She glanced over at Claudia's bedside table where one open and one unopen energy drink sat.

Claudia followed her gaze and a guilty expression slid over her face. But it melted away as she thought up her excuse for having those handy.

"Well, you know how it is," she began with a small, and again obviously fake, smile. "You get an idea for a project and you know you won't be able to sleep until it's done anyways, so why fight it?" She shrugged, still grinning.

"Claud, I don't have to be Steve to know you're lying right now." Claudia looked away from her and down at the computer on her lap. "And you still haven't answered the other part of my question. The part about how you were doing after what happened in the video game world?"

The fake smile flew back. "Great! Like I said. Big catharsis for me!"

"Claudia..." Myka said accusingly, knowing she was still trying to just brush off her questioning without giving any real answers.

Claudia looked away again. "I'll be fine. It's just that seeing the doctor again brought back a lot of things I've been trying to forget about," she finally admitted.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Myka offered.

"Not really."

"It might make you feel better. Enough so that you might not need to open that second energy drink."

Claudia closed her laptop the rest of the way and set it aside, but still didn't say anything. Myka decided to risk prying a bit.

"When you kidnapped Artie, and Pete and I were looking for the two of you, we found out that you checked yourself into the psychiatric hospital. But it didn't specify why."

"I began seeing my dead brother! I thought he was haunting me! My foster mother at the time heard me screaming one of the first times he came to me, so I told her I had been seeing him. She kept telling me he wasn't there, that he wasn't real. But I kept seeing him and I kept arguing that he was and started lashing out at her. She was the one who decided I should be institutionalized. Thought I would hurt her, one of the other kids, or maybe myself because I still couldn't accept the fact that my parents and siblings were all dead."

"Siblings? Plural?"

Claudia nodded. "Claire. She died in the car crash that killed my parents as well."

Myka wondered why Claudia had never mentioned Claire before, but decided to stay closer to the issue at hand. "How long were you there for?"

"Only about six months. Then I turned 18 and they couldn't keep me there anymore. None of the meds nor any of the therapy they had given me made me stop seeing Josh so I was convinced he had to be real. At this point I also gained control over the bank accounts that contained the little money that my family had left. I bought a laptop, started renting an apartment, and started doing research on Josh's experiment, which led me to Artie and the Warehouse."

None of this really explained why Claudia's worst fear was going back there. "Okay. But what happened while in there? Why is that the fear that showed up in the game that one and not losing Joshua again, or Artie, or something like that?"

Caudia took a deep breath. Despite the energy drink in her system, she seemed too tired to fight Myka's interrogation any more than she already had. This probably wasn't her first sleepless night recently.

"I try not to think about what really went on in there, which is why when I do mention it, I talk about it so nonchalantly. Nowadays, 'psychiatriac hospitals' are supposed to be about recovery using medication and talking about your feelings. The one I was at was a bad one. No where near as bad as they used to be. But the nurses were cruel and crazy religious. Really didn't like it when I told them I was atheist. I think they gave me extra bible homework because of that. The doctors just didn't want to be there so weren't really invested in helping their patients. When I refused to believe them and started fighting them, they would yell at me, sedate me, restrain me, sometimes they would even hit me. The only reason they let me leave when they did was because I was stubborn and they were tired of fighting me."

"You? Stubborn? Now there's a surprise." Immediately after meeting Claudia she realized how stubborn the girl could be. And despite how annoying the quality was, Myka always admired it in Claudia.

Claudia gave a short laugh, then pulled her knees to her chest and ran her fingers through her short, red hair, pushing back her bangs. Afterwards she shook them back into place with a sigh.

Myka slid up the bed so she was sitting next to Claudia and wrapped her arm around the girl, rubbing her back. This was a side of Claudia she had never seen before. This girl was so strong and seemed to be overall carefree. She had insecurities like any girl her age does, but never before had Myka thought she would ever use the words 'broken' or 'vulnerable' to describe her. Looking at her now, those were the first two words that came to mind.

Claudia's eyes were wet, but she didn't allow any of the tears to spill over.

"Dr. Michener kept telling me that I was hallucinating. That the visions of Joshua weren't real. He told me that if I kept seeing him, we would have to take more serious treatment options, including electroshock therapy. He described the process and potential side effects to me, and it was terrifying. That's when I started lying and saying that I made it up because I wanted attention from my foster parents."

Claudia took a deep breath and Myka knew she was about to hear what the real issue was. She could feel the girl trembling slightly under her arm.

"Immediately after I got out, I began having the nightmares. I'd wake up back in the asylum and a nurse or doctor would be standing over me. They'd be telling me that I was back in reality now. They I keep falling into a deep psychosis where I have created a world where my brother is still alive and people accept me as normal. I just go through these periods where I have the dreams every night." She looked up at Myka. Now the tears were streaming down her cheeks. "It just always seems so real! Sometimes I can't tell which world is real. I think it's this one, but then I don't know if that's what I actually think, or if that's just what I want to think. I'm afraid that one of these nights I'll close my eyes, wake up in the asylum, and I'll never be to get back to this world."

Now the sobbing was uncontrollable. Claudia wouldn't have been able to get any more words out if she tried. Myka pulled Claudia closer to her, wrapping both arms tightly around the shaking girl, unsure of what she could say that would convince her of reality.

"Claudia. I'm right here. I promise you from the bottom of my heart that I am real. I'm real. Artie's real. Steve's real. Pete's real. And Joshua is real. You saved him. And you've saved all of us numerous times with you computer skills, intelligence, and cleverness. This world is real. The nightmares are just that. Nightmares."

Myka had no idea what it would be like not to trust your own mind, but the terror that she felt radiating from Claudia told her that it was something she never wanted to find out. After a few minutes, Claudia began to calm down and relax a bit. She pulled away from Myka and picked up her computer again.

"That's what I was working on."

She lifted the lid of her laptop and handed it over to Myka. A document was on the screen. It was a list. Two lists really of why one world might seem more realistic. To Myka's horror, the lists were fairly even in length. No wonder the girl was so confused. Looking over the list, Myka knew this was more than she could handle on her own. She just needed to do her best to convince Claudia this world was real for long enough, until she could talk to Pete and Artie.

"You left out two of the most important and obvious ones," Myka started. "Pete, just in general, and Artie's eyebrows. I mean, how could you make up either of those things?!"

Claudia laughed and wiped the remaining wetness off her cheeks. "You've definitely got a point there! Pete's not exactly someone you could easily make up. And if this world was supposed to be my 'safe place', why would I put something as terrifying as Arties eyebrows in it? In my other reoccurring nightmares they're always eating me." She swats at something invisible in front of her, keeping Artie's eyebrows at bay.

At this Myka couldn't help but laugh as well. The Claudia she knew was back. Hopefully a little less confused and secretly scared than before.

Myka gave Claudia another hug. "Do you think you'll be okay to sleep now?" Claudia nodded and smiled. It looked sincere this time.

Myka got up and started walking towards the door. Before she left, she turned back to Claudia and said, "if you need any more convincing that this is the real world, or anything else for that matter, you know where to find me. Feel free to wake me up for any reason. And if you dream about the doctor, just electrocute him again. Two cathartic experiences in one night are better than one." Claudia laughed and nodded again. Myka smiled and went back to her room. She felt like she could get a few hours of sleep, and in the morning she would talk to Pete and Artie to figure out the next steps.


As Myka closed the door behind her, the smile faded from Claudia's face.

She reached over and popped open her second energy drink.

She may not always be the greatest liar, but she was extremely convincing when she needed to be.