Summary: Harry Potter has a secret and a problem that has been controlling his life for the past four years and he knows that the only person who can help him is one Hogwarts Potions Master. SS/HP Slash. (Male/Male relationship)
Disclaimer:I wish I did own them, but I probably wouldn't share. So this way, with me not owning them, we can all have a piece of Harry Potter and co.
Guarding yourself from the love of another
Left you with nothing tonight
Why does it sound like the devil is laughing
Leaving me haunted tonight
You did decide
- Guarded by Disturbed
-0-0-0-
Harry Potter looked into the mirror and was surprised but not completely shocked. He had just spent four years on the run from Death Eaters and Auror' and hadn't had much time to worry about his appearance. However, now, as he watched the once boyish face of the young savior-to-be of the wizarding world, he realized that he looked nothing like how he once did.
His hair had grown out, it was cut halfway down his back and he kept it in place by a tight black piece of cloth used as a hair elastic at the base of his neck. He had stubble all along his face, his two-o'clock shadow, even if he had found time to shave every once and awhile he still looked rough and unkempt. His body was taller, tanner, stronger, more agile, more lithe, more toned and more battered. His back was laded with scars, his chest better off yet still a horrific piece of work. His arms were covered in scared slashes, old bruises or charred skin.
The worst, however, was his eyes. They held no innocence anymore. After leaving directly after his seventh year, and ditching his round glasses for a vision correction spell, he has seen many horrors, many battles and many deaths. His nightmares, though, still plagued his dreams; visions were still as painful as before. He had accumulated another scar on his face though; this one ran down his left eye, from his forehead to his cheekbone, the murderous scar lingered there, unable to be healed, that one addition gave his face a new meaning, his eyes a new hardness.
He had, if you would like to say, freed his inner Slytherin, as he controlled his emotions with practiced ease. He was cold, stoic, rather cynical and a very persistent pessimist. But he was, with just one glance, not someone you would feel the need to mess with. His anger, when furious, was uncontrollable. Yet that was one of the only emotions he would show if only by chance and fair misfortune for the one who had angered him so. He rarely smiled, and if you don't count one or two sleep-withdrawal insanity driven cynical laughs, then you could say that he hasn't laughed in simple amusement since Hogwarts.
Although, though all that exploring and pain and suffering, he was lead by purely instincts and a few rabid visions, back to a place of his past.
-0-
The house was empty, dusty and broken. Windows were cracked, the furniture was ripped, and everything inside of the house creaked. It was almost worse than the shrieking shack, but without a very thorough cleaning the house was virtually useless.
Harry guessed that the order had stopped meeting here once he left since there was no evident sign of habitation for the longest time. The kitchen was bare, the living room was dead, and the hallway were the portrait of Sirius' mother hung was a hallway filled with dread.
Harry had found his way up into Sirius' old room, the room which Buckbeak use to reside, and made a home there. He didn't have very much, but one change of clothing, some toiletries and his weapons were all he had to store in the room. With a few well cast cleaning charms the room looked nearly presentable. After using his magic to unpack, clean up and fix any broken fixtures of the room, it was late and after traveling none-stop without much sleep, Harry contently fell into bed for a well-deserved rest but only after casting a few strong warding spells around the house and his room.
-0-
Harry awoke when the sun first dawned and was quick to get up and head for the shower. Only after laying still for so long did his old injuries pain him as he moved. Sighing, Harry turned the water in the shower to a scalding hot temperature and hurriedly shed his clothing before stepping into the shower, letting the water cascade off his sore and tired muscles.
Twenty minutes later, Harry had gotten dressed, eaten a small portion of what little rations he had left and then decided to start on cleaning up the first floor consisting of the kitchen, living room, another bathroom, hallways, a dinning room, a sitting room and a few other rooms that were mainly unused.
He was wearing the bare minimum for his odd jobs in the chilly house as he reckoned that this cleaning job might, even with magic, be a very dirty job indeed. He had on a black t-shirt that was frayed on the edges where a careless mistake had gotten his torso on fire, black cargo pants that had most definitely seen better days, his hair was tied back once again and the wore his only pair of black combat boots that had served him well in the duration of his little trek.
By noon Harry had the main level completely spotless, excluding a few drawers of Boggarts, Doxys and the like of which he would deal with at a much later time. He had himself a quaint lunch but resolved to find the time to go shopping as his food supply was running dangerously low.
It was about three o'clock in the afternoon as Harry was cleaning out a particularly dusty guest room when his senses and the wards tingled, his shields springing up around him effortlessly, as he felt the presence of another wizard in the house. Cautiously and silently, as practice had gifted him, he slunk out of the room and stared down the stairs; all was quiet.
Backing up so as to have a wall at his back, he closed his eyes and honed in onto the magical aura. To him the aura felt like a dark shadow lingering in the back of his mind, so he pushed it to the forefront and felt the emotions that came from deep within the wizard. Frustration, annoyance and a slight touch of worry over clouded a faint line of impatience. Harry frowned, he had felt this magical signature of this aura before, but he just couldn't place a name to the feeling.
Opening his mind he stalked around the house till the buzzing in his ear became so strong it almost blocked out the silence of the house. Pushing the aura farther back in his mind he felt the buzzing recede but it still lingered there, pulsing with the feeling of magic. Harry had stopped face to face with a tarnished door on the third floor that he hadn't yet explored. Curious, but wary of being caught, Harry opened the door wandlessly and wordlessly, to see a tall dark figure hunched over something with his back turned to Harry.
Quickly and fluently Harry had a dagger press up onto the pale cold flesh of the person in front of him, his other hand was covering the person mouth forcefully yet softly, and his body was pressed up against the supple man in front of him. "Don't speak." The man froze, tensed up, as Harry whispered into the man' ear; their height was nearly parallel save for the intruder had a few inches on Harry.
Taking his hand off the man' mouth he slowly turned the man around, the silver dagger still resting on his throat. The sun' light rays from the window of the room fell onto the face of the man in front of Harry. Emerald eyes met onyx black and Harry' eyes widened in surprise and recognition.
"What the hell?" The cry was uttered in a fierce growl, loathing was sparse but confusion was evident as Harry remembered his past that he had tried so hard to avoid, somehow it just never left him alone.
-0-
Severus Snape was in a foul mood as another death eater meeting came to a close, the lifeless body of an innocent muggle stained the floor before Voldemort' throne as he left the room and apparated back to his quarters in the Hogwarts dungeons. Once there he swallowed as few as ten un diluted potions for his nausea, fever, headache and numerous other bodily pains before collapsing in a heap onto his bed, the warm blankets lay forgotten as sleep quickly consumed him.
He was just stepping out of the shower at around two thirty pm the next day when a very flustered Albus Dumbledore flooed into his living room shouting his name at the top of his lungs. Sighing but worried just the same, Severus spelled on some clothing and meandered into the living room were Albus stood pacing the life out of the floor.
I wonder what has his knickers in a knot? Severus thought as Albus latched himself onto Severus' arm and gave an audible sound of anxiety.
"My boy, I'm afraid there has been a disturbance at the house…"
What house? Does he mean that mangy mutts old home?
"Fawkes felt an uproar of magic coming from Grimmauld Place and I fear that my wards have been breeched by some of Voldemort' Death Eaters, Severus?"
The man in questions sighed, confused. "The Dark Lord failed to mention any such plan, in fact, I don't think he even know the house exists. However, if it would make you feel at ease I can go check up on the house myself."
Dumbledore broke into a wide smile. "Good luck Severus and thank you."
Severus turned, heading back towards his rooms, "Nonsense, I have been meaning to clean out the lab there so I see no qualms about apparating over there and finding time to work in peace for once."
Dumbledore merely chuckled and flooed back out of the chambers looking as if he knew something Severus didn't, which, in fact, he most probably did.
-0-
Severus quickly made his way over to Grimmauld Place in the case that one of the Death Eaters had in fact found out about the house and had decided to explore it first.
He and Dumbledore alone were able to apparate into the potions lab of the house, it being the only room without the Apparation wards around it. Once there, he dusted off invisible dust from his black robes, but then immediately felt a lingering magical presence there that didn't belong. Puzzled, he walked over towards a crystal on the table in the middle of the room and leaned over it, gently touching it with his fingers.
It just so happened to be a magical crystal that he had picked up on his trip to Egypt that was able to pinpoint magical signatures to show the face of the caster him or herself. However, this time when he activated the crystal, the smooth glass filled up with gray smoke and blocked any face from his vision.
Perturbed, he casted a strong locking spell on the door before going back to the crystal. As he touched it once again, stronger this time, putting all his concentration into it, the faint out lines of a face loomed into the center of the fog yet it was still too blurry to tell who it was. Frustrated, Severus bent over, his nose almost touching the glass of the crystal itself, trying to see the face that was so close to emerging.
It was at that moment when cold steel was pressed up against his neck, and a soft yet roughly calloused hand encased his mouth, and he went quickly ridged as he felt a warm body compress against his own and he held back a very unwanted groan as hot, wispy breath whispered into his ear. The voice was laced with a heavy accent, as it was deep and husky and sent chills down Severus' body.
"Don't speak."
Gradually the hand was pulled off his mouth and he was gently turned around and almost gasped in shock at the man before him. It was apparent that his identification for the man who still had the dagger to his throat was not taken lightly when the same voice that caused to want to groan in pleasure sent his thoughts reeling into the past.
-0-
"Potter, you haven't died, heavens knows why not, I'm very surprised to see you here, of all places. Although you know, I shouldn't be, you probably miss your godfather no? This is your last reminder of him? How pitiful…" Severus stopped as, lightening quick, a wand was pulled out and jabbed into his stomach.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you were you stand Snape." Harry growled quietly.
"You'd become a murderer." Severus stated plainly as if his life wasn't in the hands of a depressed and rundown young wizard.
"Too late for that Snape, try again." Harry calmly whispered a glint of steel lining his words as a small ghost of a smile played at the corner of his lips.
Severus frowned. "Did my visit here cause a problem in your plans Potter?"
The wand and dagger dug a hair deeper at this unwanted comment. "I could very well Obliverate you where you stand but then again, where's the fun in that, hmm?"
Severus continued, trying to find a weakness since he had no doubt that the man would kill him if the chance gave way, "Dumbledore's been looking for you, then again so has half the order, most of the ministry and a bunch of mindless death eaters. But you certainly already know that right Potter? I mean you're the one running away from them…"
Harry leaned in closer, their eyes never leaving the others. "Don't you assume that I run away from my problems like a dog with its tail between its legs. You of all people should know about ulterior motives."
"Oh?" Severus whispered, enjoying the proximity of the man in front of him, something he didn't understand why but indulged in nonetheless in a secret confusion. "And what are your ulterior motives Potter?"
Harry gave a small laugh making Severus's heart start. "Wouldn't you like to know…?" He smiled slyly.
They were silent for a moment, Harry taking in Severus' appearance, from his rather short shaggy black hair that didn't seem so greasy anymore, to his sallow skin, his slimming black robes and his ever remaining air of arrogance however lessened it may be. Harry could feel Severus looking over his own body, shocked at how much it had changed. Harry was indeed surprised that Severus had recognized him in the first place.
True to form Severus announced Harry' thoughts out loud, cutting into the quiet of the room. "You've changed Potter. Dramatically so, if it hadn't been for your eyes I don't think I would have recognized you."
Harry inwardly winced, "I'm not the only one who's changed Snape."
"It's been a long time Potter, why did you leave?"
Harry was silent, his face an impassive wall, and Severus just began to fear for his life when he saw Harry' mouth twitch in a smile. "What am I going to do with you Snape?"
It was a rhetorical question but it made Severus realize that Harry didn't trust him, even as teacher and student he didn't trust him. Severus understood though that he has never done anything upfront to make the young man even think to trust him, but still, it hurt, even if he would never admit to that – but when it came to Harry, Severus wouldn't admit a lot of things.
Severus knew that Harry had had it rough; he could see it in his eyes, how fast his reflexes were and how sharp his blade was, and he also knew that Harry was as stubborn as ever and no amount of persuading was Harry going to trust him enough to let him live at this moment in time. Severus mentally sighed; sometimes one just could not win.
Quicker than Harry could blink Harry wand hand was twisted behind his back as he was turned around and held close to Severus' chest gently but firmly. However, his dagger never left Severus' throat, a similar cold metal was swiftly pressed up against Harry' own exposed neck. Harry resisted a groan as he purposely let his wand drop and instead use that free hand to entwine with Severus fingers.
Harry could feel the potion master' heart beating quickly as their fingers brushed ever so tentatively against each other. Harry smiled inwardly and just a touch outwardly before pressing his hand tightly against Severus' and mumbled a quick stupefy. As Severus dropped, Harry took hold of the dagger at his neck before it did any lingering damage and placed with his own before turning around and catching Severus before he hit the ground.
Seeing the surprise lingering on the unconscious man' face Harry felt immediately guilty and frowned as he dragged a hand absentmindedly though the black locks of the man before him.
"Sorry Severus," Harry whispered into the warm lips of his old professor. "I can't kill you, but I can't trust you and I know you were about to do the same thing to me. Unfortunately for both of us, this was my best idea at the moment."
With a faintly audible sigh, Harry lifted the slightly taller man into his arms and proceeded to carry him to a newly cleaned room on the second floor where he could await for his new prisoner to regain consciousness, before questioning him on all the old events that he had missed.
-0-
