Just a little one shot that I thought up listening to 'Poker Face'. Kyouya has a nice one, no?

I don't own squittaly doop, as my mother would say.


"Kyouya-sempai!" the host club's twins yelled in unison, "We have a game for us to play!"

Oh, great Buddha save me now.

"What is it? I can tell you apart already if that is what you have in mind."

They waved their fingers. "Nope!" Hikaru pulled out of deck of cards.

"Poker. We want to play a game of poker like they do in America! I bet you don't even know how to play!"

Kyouya inwardly rolled his eyes. What bakas.

"I'm sure I could manage a few games. " The twins smirked. They were sure a cultured boy like Kyouya had never played poker. He just simply didn't want to admit defeat.

"So, who is going to deal?" Kaoru asked.

Kyouya grabbed the pile of cards. "Just leave it to me." He shuffled like a professional; if you blinked you would have missed it. "Six cards each, ne?" They nodded, still a little dumbfounded. Kyouya noticed this and smirked.

Idiots.

They studied their cards and put their Anne's in. "Anyone want to trade?"

"I'll have two." Said Hikaru.

"Just one here."

"I'll have three myself." Kyouya took his cards and then gave them out to the other two players. "Who wants to bet first?" Hikaru threw in five dollars (I can't calculate yen!), then Kaoru raised him one. "What are we, playing the poor man's version?" Kyouya deadpanned. "Raise you twenty. Anyone care to counter?"

Using wonderful twin telepathy, Hikaru told Kaoru to 'go for it, I think he's just bluffing. Probably has one pair of a low number or something.' 'Okay.'

"Okay," Kaoru said wearily, "I'll go in. But I don't want to raise it."

Hikaru scoffed. "I raise you five. Got to bet put in if you want to stay in."

"I fold. " Kaoru threw down his cards to reveal a pair of sixes.

"Well," Kyouya adjusted his glasses so they gave off a menacing glare. "I'll put in. I didn't raise so the betting is over. Hikaru, you have?"

"Full house baby!"

"Oh. Well, I have a royal flush. I win. Care for another game?" Kyouya smiled.

This will be fun.

"Yeah! Beginners luck!" Hikaru and Kaoru cried at the same time. "We'll win next time!"

~ a few games later ~

"Well boys, it looks like you are all out of betting money. I suppose that means I win this little game, ne?" Kyouya smiled almost sadly. He enjoyed playing a game where he could show his skill without mentioning profit. People got the wrong ideas when he mentioned profit.

"Ah, we…have to go anyway…bye!" The twins ran out the door, utterly broke of the money they have came in that day with.

Well, it was not wonder that they lost. Their faces show everything. They think I can't hear their telepathy too?

Kyouya wasn't a master at the game. All you really need to win a game of poker is an impenetrable poker face.

Crap, Kyouya thought, I wish we had bet pocky instead.


Sorry if I misuse poker terms. I'm no expert myself, so just ignore it if it is phrased wrong.

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