I don't own anything.
It's one in the morning, I'm unwell, I'm at a bit of a loggerheads with 'Partners in Crime' and this idea was swimming round in my brain, so here we are. Enjoy. I needn't point out that if you don't like the pairing, don't bother to read it. I don't appreciate flames on no grounds other than you prefer a different pairing (in fact, I don't like flames at all, comstructive criticism is one thing, but nasty messages are another.) Don't like, don't read.
Oh dear. Somehow I always end up with Miss Dickinson making an appearance in these things. I just have too much fun making her have hysterics.
Miss Fritton surveyed the damage solemnly, her brows knitting together. Oh, there had been explosions at this school since her day, but this was by far the worst she had ever seen. The entire west wing had suffered at the hands of the blaze, the walls crumbling into a charred heap- the maths rooms gone, most of the English rooms gone. It was fortunate that the geeks had had the presence of mind to phone the fire department, or the whole building surely would have gone up.
Tania and Tara had walked about all day looking sheepish. Camilla sighed. 'Poor girlies.' After the amount of pranks they'd pulled over the short time they had been at the school, it was bound to happen. Ah well, no-one hurt, no real harm done, that's what she liked to think. The only problem now was finding a way to have the west wing rebuilt- no insurance company would come anywhere near St Trinian's, and even after the Heist there wasn't enough to cover it. They'd need another quarter of a million pounds -at least.
And that wasn't an amount they could easily come by.
'Now, girls,' Miss Dickinson said, trying to sound strict, 'I know it's all quite exciting, having a spectacular fire and having our normal classroom blown up- for me too, at my old school we never did things like that, but we will all need to act mature and sensible in this situation. Just because we're in the art classroom this period doesn't mean we need to mess about and get distracted. Try to remember we're doing English, not art.'
She shouldn't have bothered speaking. They had only been in the room for less than a minute, and already an epic war had broken out- art supplies were being used as projectiles, the surviving English textbooks were being decorated with great gloops of paint, and in general a tremendous mess was being made.
'Girls, please!' Miss Dickinson tried again. 'If you would turn to page 17 in your textbooks, we will be looking at language forms and features...'
'Wha' textbooks?' Taylor called out, scooping up a hefty handful of clay and hurling it at Andrea who ducked.
'You should have fifteen textbooks between you,' the English teacher insisted, pausing to dodge a clay pellet that came flying her way and ended up smashed against the blackboard. 'I happen to know that several books survived the fire, and I brought them in specifically to...oh, what have you done to them?'
She practically dived across the room and snatched up one of the textbooks, which Celia had been in the process of covering with swirls of purple glittery poster paint. The Trustafarian looked up, a little dazed, then shrugged and started to paint the table instead.
'You children need to learn to have more respect! These are school property! They're learning aids, for goodness sake! You need to take care of them- and you need to start listening in class if you ever want to get anywhere after school!'
'Oh, right,' said everyone, and went on hurling lumps of clay and squirting paint at each other as if her words had gone in one ear and out the other. When two of the chavs got Polly by her ankles and dangled her out the window, pouring an entire tub of blue acrylic over her, Miss Dickinson gave up and retreated in tears, leaving them to their own devices.
'We need to get new English classrooms,' she wept to herself, 'it's hard enough controlling those unruly girls, but trying to teach them with art supplies around is an utter nightmare!'
After a great deal of sobbing in the Headmistress' office, Camilla relented and changed the timetable. Personally, the idea of her girlies causing havoc made her chuckle, but she could see her colleague did not share her feelings, and so it was that the next day, the sixth form English lessons were held outside.
'What a nice day- smell that fresh air,' Miss Dickinson said, making a show of doing so. 'Isn't it nice to be able to have your lessons on the hockey pitch, out in the open and in the sun, and without inside distractions...'
'Race ya to the goal posts!' Taylor called, and they were all off.
She'd tried the science rooms, but they'd gotten hold of chemicals and bunsen burners, and she'd feared a second fire and quickly moved them. She'd tried the dorms, and that had turned into a pillow fight. In a moment of madness she'd tried the sports shed, and soon they'd all grabbed basketballs off the shelves, tied her in a volleyball net and invented a very violent game rather like dodgeball but with hockey sticks.
Why, she'd even tried the staff room, but they'd made a beeline for the cabinet where the teachers kept their liquor.
But at last, Miss Dickinson had found the perfect place to teach her class- or so she thought.
'What harm can they possibly do in an empty dining hall?' she thought to herself smugly. 'I've outwitted them at last- nothing in here except tables and chairs. Finally I can get on with some work...'
'Hey, look!' Kelly called, 'I've found the door to the kitchens!' And soon they were all smashing plates on the floor.
As enjoyable as taking the mickey out of Miss Dickinson was, it wasn't long before the girls began to realise the more serious problems the explosion had caused. As Polly turned on her laptop, the geek gave an uncharacteristic cry.
'It's all gone!'
The others rushed to her side and gathered around her.
'What's gone?' Lucy asked.
'Our footage- the fire didn't just take down the cameras down that side of the school, it knocked out our entire system! None of the cameras are coming online!'
'You're not serious?' Kelly frowned- throughout her years at St Trinian's the geeks' hidden cameras had provided her with reels of blackmail, and the thought of giving that up filled her with horror.
'Our fags!' Taylor suddenly called. 'Dey wos in da store cupboard jus' next ta the maths rooms!'
'I was going to meet my boyfriend in that corridor on the third floor!' Chloe wailed. 'He was coming here this Friday- now where are we going to go?'
All of a sudden a barrage of complaints rained down from all sides- for the first few days the girls had been too excited by the change of classrooms and the whole drama of the episode to notice what they'd lost. Kelly, beginning to experience a ringing in her ears, stood up on a chair and raised her hands.
'Quiet, everyone!'
Everyone settled down to hear what she had to say.
'It looks like we're gonna have to have our maths and English classrooms rebuilt somehow. Anyone got any ideas as to how we might raise the money?'
'Steal another painting?' Annabelle volunteered.
'Too soon,' Kelly mused. 'For a little while, they're gonna be extra careful- we could get caught.'
'Blow up 10 Downing Street!' the twins chorused.
'And...that would help us how?' Kelly asked. The two small girls considered.
'Um, well, we could force the Prime Minister to pay for the repairs...' Tania contributed hopefully. Kelly shook her head, but couldn't hide her smile of affection. Despite the fact their obsession for blowing things up had caused them some serious problems, their attempts, she had to admit, were cute.
'I've got it!' Chelsea suddenly cried. Everyone rolled their eyes- any idea coming from the Posh Totty was bound to be ridiculous.
'Peaches, Chloe and I could hold a kissing booth in London! We could charge, say, a fiver a snog- we'd soon have the money!'
'What, half a million pounds?' Kelly scoffed. 'Girls, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but that's never gonna raise the kind of money we're talking here. If we're gonna get that money, we need to do one thing- it's gotta be big, and it's gotta be good.'
'Well...it could contribute!' Peaches insisted, but Kelly merely rolled her eyes and turned to Polly, who'd had an idea regarding internet fraud.
'Girls! I thought I told you not to do this!'
Almost a week later, and Kelly, to her dismay, had come across Peaches, Chelsea and Chloe, lounging on the street next to an enormous sign:
Kisses: five pounds each
'You never said we couldn't,' Chelsea said, pausing to wink at a young man walking past. 'You just said it wouldn't raise all the money in one go!'
'Yes,' Kelly said testily, 'and then didn't I say we were going to do one big thing instead? And this,' she gestured to the sign, 'it's one step from prostitution!'
'Oh, we don't mind that...' Peaches began, but Kelly cut her off.
'No, I don't think you would- but, really, it's a waste of time. You haven't a hope of getting enough fivers in one day to get half a million quid, and in the meantime, you could be helping us think of a proper solution!'
'Oh, Kelly, you're such a killjoy,' Chelsea said, causing the Head Girl's frustration to increase dramatically. The other two ignored her warnings completely, and were busy waving to two tall youths who had just crossed the road. They certainly weren't going to let Kelly spoil their fun- they'd been waiting for ages for an excuse to do this.
'Wot's 'appenin' girls? Wot 'ave we got 'ere?' the four girls turned at the familiar voice, as Flash sidled up, smiling in approval at the sign. 'New business? I like it...'
'It's for charity!' Chloe said before Kelly could speak. 'We're raising money to rebuild the west wing!'
Flash's eyes drifted to the sign again. 'That's initiative, that is.' He reached into his pocket, and pulling out a five pound note, slapped it down onto the counter. 'Well, it's in a good cause, I'd be 'appy to donate some.'
And Peaches was only too happy to oblige. Kelly rolled her eyes and looked away.
'Flash,' she growled, 'don't encourage them! I was trying to get them to...'
'How much fer you, Kel?' Flash cut her off.
The Head Girl blinked. 'What?' she seriously hoped she'd misheard.
'How much fer you?' the spiv repeated, causing Kelly to glare.
'Five hundred pounds,' she snarled sarcastically, hoping to shut him up for good. 'Now if you've got nothing better to do, perhaps you'll leave me to sort out-'
But as she turned to him, she blanched and nearly toppled over on her heels as she observed the spiv pull an enormous roll of banknotes out his coat pocket and begin to peel them off.
'Where...' she began, 'where did you get...'
'Five 'undred quid,' Flash said, handing it over to the Totties. He'd hardly made a dent in the roll he carried, and all four girls wondered just what scam he'd pulled off to obtain such a sum.
It was all Kelly could do to keep her jaw from dropping, but somehow she forced herself to remain calm and dignified. She hadn't been expecting this.
'Flash,' she stuttered, not so successful at keeping her voice even, 'I- I wasn't serious...'
'Too late,' Flash grinned wickedly, 'I was.'
The Head Girl's temper began to flare. 'Flash, I am not going to do this! I didn't even approve of this bloody venture, and if you think...'
'Come on, Kel,' he sounded a little hurt; she couldn't tell whether he was genuine or merely teasing her. 'Five hun-'
'Well go to them for your money's worth!' Kelly all but shouted, startled by her own outburst. She never overreacted like this- the self-assured Head Girl would normally never get so worked up over something so trivial- so why now? She wasn't the only one to be surprised- several passers by had stopped and stared.
'Kelly!' Chloe whined. 'You're scaring away prospective customers!'
Kelly glanced around at the gaping people around them, then, casting a furious look at the Totties, grabbed Flash roughly by the arm and dragged him around the corner, out of sight. Once they were safely out the way, she released the spiv, rounding on him.
'Why?' she hissed through gritted teeth.
'Kel,' Flash said, 'Wot's ya problem? It's five 'undred quid fer the school, anyone'd fink yeh fink I were...repulsive or summat, the way you're actin'...'
Kelly flinched, almost physically feeling the hurt in his tone. She struggled to rectify the situation.
'No, Flash, it's not that at all, it's just...I don't mix...' she began desperately, but Flash cut her off.
'This ain't business, and don't tell me ya don't mix charity an' pleasure...'
The effect of this last remark was such that Kelly suddenly burst out laughing. Charity and pleasure...that was a new one! The spiv, sensing her anger had lightened, allowed himself to grin shyly, but part of Kelly's mind paused to consider her irrational reactions since Flash had arrived- first she'd bitten his head off and now she was practically hysterical at something only mildly funny- these actions just weren't her at all! She was acting more like some stupid teenage girl hiding a crush at all costs than Kelly Jones, fearless Head Girl. She had to stop.
Kelly calmed herself and stood up straighter. 'Sorry,' she sighed, thinking. It just wouldn't do to insult the school spiv- they needed the business.
Just once...for the school's sake...that wouldn't hurt, would it?
'Oh, all right,' she said, allowing a controlled seductive smile to cross her face, 'come here, then.'
Flash jumped a little at her words, then met her eye to ascertain she was serious before taking a tentative step towards her. Kelly stood very still as he took her face in his hands, tipped her head back and kissed her.
The Head Girl wasn't sure what she was expecting, but the surge of raw emotion that hit her when their lips met startled her. She hadn't known anyone could pour that many unspoken words into such a small gesture, and all of a sudden there washed over her a surging, fiery desire to respond, to kiss him back fiercely and twist her arms about his neck and...no, she couldn't do that. He couldn't get the wrong idea about this. One time and one time only, it was -and for one purpose only. She forced herself to remain still, to remain rigid and unresponsive.
He can't get the wrong idea about this...he can't get the wrong idea about this...
Kelly chanted the words over and over in her head, but they were becoming harder to adhere to with every nanosecond that passed- she was unsure how long this kiss was lasting, time seemed to have unlatched itself and gone spinning off. Her restraint was wearing thinner, her resistance shaking and in danger of collapse.
I can't do it, I can't do it, her brain snapped at her, but she wasn't sure whether or not it was going to make the slightest bit of difference, and when Flash murmured something against her lips, that sounded to her like 'you ain't tryin', Kel,' her self-control lost the battle.
I can't do this, I...oh, sod that.
And she kissed him back with such passion and ferocity Flash had to take a step back to keep his balance. She gripped his shoulder with one hand, her other running through his hair before twisting into the roots, almost leaning against him to stay up. Why had she not wanted this? Why had she rejected this for so long?
Well, because she didn't mix business with pleasure, that's why, and although she'd buried her long-held regard for Flash for several years in order to adhere to this rule, it seemed when it all came down to it, the years of hiding her feelings had brought them right to a head, which erupted at the chance to obtain what she'd secretly desired all along. Kelly felt his hands press against the small of her back, and her heart took off at a terrific pace. Her fingers curled more tightly into his shoulder, and she gave up thinking altogether.
When they broke apart- after how long neither were entirely sure, both were out of breath and more than a little stunned.
'Well,' Flash said, sounding rather flustered, 'I'll just be-'
The Head Girl held up a hand to silence him, glancing over her shoulder. The Posh Totty were still engaged in their 'business', it couldn't have been as late as she thought. She licked her lips in thought, her tongue coming into contact with a sticky, strawberry-flavoured residue. She frowned for a moment, then realised what it was.
'Where'd you think you're going?' she called to Flash, who had taken a step away. He turned back, raising his eyebrows.
'I wasn't finished.'
'Eh?'
'I can taste Peaches' lip gloss on you,' Kelly said. 'I want it off.'
'Er, Kel,' Flash said, unwilling to believe his ears, unsure whether to believe he'd gotten this lucky. 'I don't fink I can afford another five 'undred quid...'
A mischievous smirk crept across the Head Girl's face, her eyes flashing. 'Oh, well,' she said. 'On the house, then.'
Flash hesitated, taking a little longer than usual to process this last exchange in his brain, then smiled back at her and strode back towards her, much more confidently this time, and took her into his arms.
Well, there you have it. Review and tell me what you think? I'd better go to bed. I'm tired and unwell. See you round.
