Daddy's yelling again.
He always comes to yell at mama.
Sometimes, I hear noises, like she's getting hurt.
I try to go down and see her, but she always hears me coming, and sends me to my room.

Mama's crying again.
Every time daddy finishes his visits, she cries.
Once in a while, I'll come downstairs and see her, covered in scrapes and bruises.
I never really knew why, until daddy hit me too.
She cries, but only when he's gone.

I'm alone again.
But I've gotten used to it.
After all, being alone is not so bad.
If daddy's down there, and I'm up here, he can't hurt me.
It would all be perfect, if only I could keep him from hurting mama, too.

Daddy said I was an accident.
That I shouldn't have been born.
For all I know, that could be true.
But what do I know?
Mama says I know a lot, but I think she's only trying to be nice when she tells me that she loves me.
And maybe that's true, too.
But I don't know.

He's still yelling.
I'm starting to feel sick.
Who am I kidding?
I've been sick for a while now.
This is all my fault.
I just know it is.
So why can't I fix it?
I don't know.
Right now, all I can do is cover my ears.
It is the only thing I can do to keep from hearing her screams.

Author's Comments

this is basically going into the mind of a two year old sumi, sitting up in her room while her parents argue. no wonder she hates it when koki visits.