An: Yay! This is my first fic, so please go easy on me. I've always been a fan of Deinaru, so I wanted to give it a shot. I hope it doesn't go so bad.
Art is bang, un! Chapter one
Once upon a time, in a very cliche time and space, there lived a pitiful family known as Uzumaki Naruto. This family only had one member, and-
"HEY! QUIT MAKING ME SOUND SO PATHETIC!"
Sorry. A certain blond teenage boy got up groaning. "Che! Back in Konoha and already I have to chase that stupid cat." He yawned and repeatedly palmed his mouth all the while. Stretching, he pushed off the soft blankets and got off the bed.
"YOSH! I'm gonna do my very best today!"
From above, a certain crow cried, "Baka. Baka."
"Mwoar!" cried the cat as it struggled.
"Bwahaha! Another job well done." Naruto held up the struggling cat at an arm's length like a trophy.
"Eh? Naruto-niichan?"
The Genin stopped in his tracks seeing a certain group of Genins. "Oh, hey Konohamaru."
"Don't hey us, Naruto-niichan!" cried Moegi.
"You keep stealing all of our jobs!" complained Udon.
"How are we supposed to get stronger if you keep taking our missions?!" shouted Konohamaru. "It's not fair!"
The older Genin bursted out laughing. "Ahahaha! First come first served."
The younger Genin scowled. "Just you wait, Naruto-niichan! This means war!"
"Okay, okay, sure. Meet me at the ramen stand later for lunch, 'kay?" Naruto grinned as he walked away.
Konohamaru suddenly brightened. "Okay!"
Moegi and Udon stared appalled at their leader.
The Genin looked confused at his comrades. "What?"
Meanwhile, Naruto handed the poor cat to it's owner while inwardly sighing. Isn't there a mission that's worthwhile? One that could tip off of the Akatsuki or Orochimaru maybe? He thought back to the first few weeks. Nothing. Zip. Nada. And the Hokage had forbidden him from even trying to go to investigated trails... Maybe it's enough for him to go off and become a missing-nin and possibly join Akatsuki for some sick twisted fangirl plot? Naw.
Tsunade nodded and stamped the box on Naruto's record, signifying the mission as a success. "Well done, Uzumaki Naruto."
"Ne, Tsunade-baachan! Can't I have a better mission?"
"What? But you're practically done for the day, why don't you just relax and settle down?"
Naruto snickered. "Already you're talking like an old woman."
"Urusai!"
Naruto screeched as a chair was thrown in his face.
Tsunade huffed and walked over to the fallen teen. "So, you want a mission, eh?"
"Y-yeah. Pretty much. Ow."
Tsunade sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She looked to the ceiling. "I suppose it can't be helped. Another mission then."
"B-rank?!"
"Don't be stupid. C!"
Naruto's hopes were crushed as glass does when shattered by explosions. "Waaah!"
"That's the most I'm giving you."
The blond pouted. "But, but-!"
"No buts!"
"Everyone else is doing something but me-!" cried the teen. "Come on-!" Inwardly he groaned. 'I can't believe I have to do this much butt-kissing, dattebayo.'
Tsunade twitched. "Just be thankful with what you have and deal with it!"
Naruto was handed the mission statement. "Huh?"
"You must help this poor man find his soulmate."
"EEH?!"
Naruto twitched. "Ha... So your name's Deina?"
"Un."
"And you need to find your soulmate?"
"Un."
"Well that's easy, why don't you take off your hat and just talk? No girl would want to talk to a guy with his face covered."
"Un?"
"I mean, chicks dig it for a while, but then sooner or later, if you don't show, they won't go. Eh? You're writing this down?" Naruto asked noticing the brown cloaked man whose face was covered by a huge straw hat taking out a pen and notepad.
"Un!"
Naruto twitched some more. He didn't know what's worse. The fact that he says "un" the entire time or the fact that this guy's name is "Deina".
"Ehe. Well, Deina? Aren't you going to take it off?"
"Un!" Deina sputtered shaking his head rapidly.
"Nani?! Come on! Just get it off!" Naruto lunged at the man, only to fall on the table and trip over with the table.
Ouch.
Deina peered over the blond worried. "Un?"
"I'm fine." Naruto said annoyed. He got up and shook his head. "Okay. Fine, keep the hat if you want to. Don't get my help. You obviously don't need me." Naruto snickered at his own brilliant tactic. The guy is certain to cooperate with him then! But turning around, he found the guy humming while cleaning his ear.
"EH?! Don't you even care at all?!"
"Un." The man shook his head away and continued his air of arrogance.
Naruto growled. "That's it..." Grabbing the guy's brown cloak, he yanked the man out of the building. (random building, ole!) Not caring for the poor guy, he shouted defiantly, "I'm gonna get you your soulmate whether you like it or not! It's my mission, and I'm going to accomplish it! DATTEBAYO!"
"Uuuuuun!" cried the poor guy.
Everyone else in the streets just stared not knowing what to make of the sight.
The Genin sighed sitting at the edge of his couch. "So you don't live in a home?"
"Un." Deina nodded and pointed to a hotel.
"And you live in a hotel room?"
"Un." Another nod.
"How's that going to attract any girls?!" Naruto shouted shaking the man senseless.
"UuUuUuuUUUUuuUUUnnnNnN!" cried poor Deina. He waved his arms wildly in protest.
"Augh! Forget this! I'm going out for a bit. You stay here. I'm not done with this mission yet." Naruto pointed straight at the guy's hidden face as a threat and left the apartment.
"Deina" sighed and pulled off his hat, revealing golden locks covering half his face and a large ponytail. He swished his bishie head chuckling. "If the Akatsuki found out that I had to act as annoying as Tobi in order to gain anyone's trust, I don't know what they'll do." He snickered thinking about Sasori's possible reaction. "Too bad Tobi's filling in for me at the moment, un."
"Sasori-sempaaaaiii! Tobi's tired!" Tobi cried tears running down the one hole in his orange spiral mask.
A harsh growl came from Sasori from within Hiruko. He just had to get stuck with the most annoying of partners, doesn't he?
"Sasori-sempaaaaiiii!" The klutzy Akatsuki-member-to-be whined.
"Shut up. We were supposed to get the one tailed racoon, but you screwed up the first round. Now Sunagakure's on the lookout more than ever, so stop complaining." Sasori snarled.
To which he was answered with more whining. "But it's hoooot!"
Sasori narrowed his eyes from within. 'Deidara better hurry with that stupid jinchuuriki!'
