A/N: I luuurrvve domestic!Ed. Erm, that is all. Carry on :blushes:

Dirty Work

"No! There's no way. I'm not doing it!" Roy said, tossing his hands up in the air from their calm perch on the kitchen table.

The blonde grinned menacingly. "Well neither am I. And besides, if you don't clean the toilet, I'm not washing your socks." He crossed his arms across his chest in quiet defiance.

Roy scowled. "I don't do toilets, Fullmetal. I didn't climb the ranks, become a Colonel by the time I was 29 to be on my hands and knees swirling a toilet brush. No."

The glaring continued for a few moments, neither backing down. Roy knew it would come to this. He loved Ed, but the small alchemist was truly a messy roommate. If they were going to make it official and live together by choice and not by mere post-sex laziness, they needed to divide up the chores.

"If you refuse to do the toilet, I will refuse to cook breakfast."

Ed's eyes narrowed. "If you refuse to do the toilet, I refuse to that thing with my-"

"Fine!" he cried tossing up his hands again. Toilets suddenly didn't sound so bad.

Then he smiled deviously. "But in return for that-"

"What? Equivalent exchange was already satisfied!"

The smirk pulled itself up the side of the older man's face. "But in return of that," he continued like he hadn't heard the boy's protests, "you will do all the dishes."

"No way!"

Roy closed his eyes contentedly, crossing his arms, and leaning back in his chair. If there was a chore he hated, it was dishes. He hated the way it wrinkled his fingers. He hated the smell of wet food left under his nails, no matter how conscientiously he tried to clean them, and he hated the way his back hurt after he leaned over the sink for the duration of the chore. That wouldn't be so much a problem for Edward, what with having so much less height from which to lean down.

Ed's eyes narrowed as if he had heard Roy's comment out loud. "Why? I hate dishes."

"As I recall, I have yet to mention a chore that you do not hate. And besides," Roy held up his right hand and delicately rubbed the pads of his thumb and middle finger together, " I can't risk my hands being wet. An enemy could strike someone as important of myself at anytime."

"Yeah? Well what if I rust?"

"Transmute it back. Seems simple enough to me. Rust adjust the oxygen content-"

"It isn't that easy, moron!"

Roy smirked. Ed slid back in his chair. That look on the Colonel's face could only mean one thing. He had a plan. And that could only mean one thing. Edward was doomed.

"This is highly unfair!" Edward cried from the sink.

Roy grinned and surveyed the sight in front of him. Ed was leaning over the sink, a pink apron tied around his waist, reaching the ground (to add extra protection to his automail leg, of course, and certainly not to add extra enjoyment to Roy's evening) and a pair of matching pink rubber gloves caressing the inside of his elbows covered his hands.

The blonde boy scowled sourly as Roy snapped a picture. "You know," he said shaking the polaroid with a sick, satisfied smile stretched across his face and crinkling the corners of his eyes, "Maes was saying that he needed more pictures of us. I could definitely get used to a domesticated Fullmetal"

Roy snickered as ducked, dodging a wet and greasy sponge tossed at his head.

Fin.